December 11, 2014 - Smaug

  • 12/11/2014

Gov. Scott Walker botches a Jewish phrase, Ridley Scott casts white actors to play Egyptians, Stephen raffles off set pieces from The Report, and Smaug discusses "The Hobbit."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.

IN HERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUNDTHE WORLD.

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN!")

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEINGHERE.

PLEASE, YOU'VE GIVEN ENOUGH ATTHIS POINT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I HOPE YOU'RECHECKING YOUR CALENDARS BECAUSE

I WILL BE OFF THE AIR FORTHE 2016 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION,

BUT FOLKS THAT DOES NOT MEAN ICANNOT CALL IT RIGHT NOW.

SO WITH ZERO PERCENT OFPRECINCTS CARING, THE NEXT

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATESWILL BE WISCONSIN GOVERNOR,

SCOTT WALKER.

CONGRATULATIONS, SIR!

WELL DESERVED.(AUDIENCE BOOS)

OOOOH, THEY LOVE YOU.

I'M CALLING THIS FORGOVERNOR WALKER RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE HE HAS PROVEN THAT HE ISSMARTER

THAN HE LOOKS, SOUNDS ANDGOVERNS.

HE KNOWS THAT IF YOU WANT TO GETELECTED IN THIS COUNTRY AS A

REPUBLICAN, YOU CAN'T JUSTAPPEAL TO WHITE PEOPLE.

YOU ALSO NEED TO APPEAL TOJEWISH WHITE PEOPLE.

>> A NUMBER OF HIGH-PROFILEREPUBLICANS WITH SIGHTS ON THE

2016 PRESIDENTIAL BID ARERETURNING FROM A WEEKEND IN SIN

CITY WHERE THEY ADDRESSED THEREPUBLICAN JEWISH COALITION'S

ANNUAL SPRING GATHERING.

AMONG THOSE NAMES, WISCONSINGOVERNOR SCOTT WALKER.

>> GOVERNOR SCOTT WALKER-->> HOPING TO GET THE BLESSING

AND FORTUNE OF CASINO MOGULSHELDON ADELSON.

>> Stephen: YES, THE WALKERCAMPAING WANTS THE BLESSING AND

FORTUNEOF SHELDON ADELSON, BUT HE'S NOT

GREEDY.

HE'LL SETTLE FOR THE FORTUNE.

AND WALKER'S AFFECTION FOR THEJEWISH PEOPLE IS GENUINE.

IN FACT, MADISON'S "THE CAPITALTIMES" HAS PUBLISHED A LETTER

DATING FROM WALKER'S TIME ASMILWAUKEE COUNTY EXECUTIVE, IN

WHICH HE TELLS A LOCAL JEWISHLEADER THAT HE WOULD BE HAPPY TO

DISPLAY A MENORAH CELEBRATINGCHANUKAH AT THE MILWAUKEE

COURTHOUSE, SIGNING IT "THANKYOU AGAIN, AND MOLOTOV."

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS )NOW, WALKER PROBABLY MEANT

MAZEL TOV, WHICH IS YIDDISH FORCONGRATULATIONS, AND NOT

MOLOTOV, WHICH IS A BOTTLE OFGASOLINE WITH A LIT RAG STUFFED

IN THE NECK USED TO FIREBOMBTANKS.

( LAUGHTER )SO THERE'S A LITTLE DIFFERENCE.

THOUGH IN WALKER'S DEFENSE,EIGHT MOLOTOV COCKTAILS WOULD

MAKE FOR A VERY FESTIVE MENORAH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )THEY SAID THE GAS WOULD BURN FOR

ONLY ONE NIGHT.

NOW I THINK EVERYONE NEEDS TOJUST LAY OFF WALKER HERE.

HE'S STILL LEARNING.

HE HASN'T YET DEVELOPED THEDEEP CULTURAL UNDERSTANDING OF

THE JEWISH PEOPLE THAT I HAVE.

THERE IS NO GREATER FRIEND OFTHE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL THAN

YOURS TRULY, SO ALLOW ME TO SAYA WORD ON WALKER'S BEHALF.

JEWISH NATION, SCOTT WALKER'S AGOOD GUY.

HE'S A REAL MUNCH.

( LAUGHTER )OK, SO HE DOESN'T WEAR A YAMAHA

OR OBSERVE THE SHERBERT.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT HEWAS

READY TO DISPLAY THAT MINORAH.

I'M SURE, GIVEN THE CHANCE, HEALSO WOULD HAVE DISPLAYED THE

MAJORA.

AND WE'RE NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUTA MAJOR JEWISH HOLIDAY HERE.

IT'S NOT LIKE THIS ISYOM TUPAC SHAKUR OR SHA-NA-NA

OR EVEN SUCROSE.

IF IT WEREN'T THE SAME TIME ASCHRISTMAS, NOBODY WOULD EVEN

TALK ABOUT HANA-KUNA MATATA.

IT'S JUST A FUN FAMILY HOLIDAYWHERE YOU EAT POTATO TCHOTCHKES

AND YOU SPIN THE DILDO.

DILDO, DILDO, DILDO, I MADE YOUOUT OF CLAY. AND WHEN YOU'RE

DRY AND READY...

LET'S ALL CUT SCOTT WALKER SOMESLACK.

THAT'S WHAT THE HOLIDAY SEASON'SALL ABOUT.

SOTO MY JEWISH VIEWERS, I, ITONIGHT

RAISE A GLASS OF LENNY KRAVITZAND SAY A HEARTY L'HEIMLICH

MANEUVER."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )FOLKS, I DON'T WANT TO ACT LIKE

I'M HOLIER THAN THOU.

I'M FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.

WE SAY HOLIER THAN Y'ALL.

THIS IS YAHWEH OR NO WAY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )♪ ♪

NATION, I CONSIDER MYSELF APROUD BIBLE THUMPER.

OF COURSE, I STOPPED WHEN IDISCOVERED THE BIBLE FROWNS ON

PRE-MARITAL THUMPING.

OF COURSE, I DON'T READ IT MUCHSINCE ALL MY FAVORITE BIBLE

STORIES ARE THE ONES I DON'THAVE TO READ BECAUSE THEY'RE

MOVIES.

I FIND GOD'S MESSAGE OF ETERNALLOVE GOES DOWN SMOOTHER WHEN

DRENCHEDWITH GOLDEN TOPPING.

THAT'S WHY I AM SO PUMPED FORTHE UPCOMING BIBLICAL EPIC,

"EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS."

IT'S THE PERFECT HOLIDAY MOVIE,BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS CHRISTMAS

LIKE PASSOVER.

( LAUGHTER )NOW, FOR ALL MY HEATHEN VIEWERS,

"EXODUS" IS THE THRILLING TALEOF ONE MAN STANDING AGAINST

THE PHARAOH TO FREE HIS PEOPLEFROM SLAVERY, THIS TIME STARRING

CHRISTIAN BALE AS BAT-MOSES.

(IN BATMAN VOICE)LET MY PEOPLE GO!

BUT THE LIBERAL PHARAOHS DON'TWANT MY PEOPLE TO GO TO THIS

MOVIE.

>> AN EPIC BACKLASH OVER ABIBLICAL BLOCKBUSTER.

>> THERE ARE CRITICS WHO SAY THECAST IS TOO WHITE.

>> THE CAST OF THE FILM ISLARGELY WHITE

EVEN THOUGH THE FILM IS SET INEGYPT.

>> ON TWITTER, THE#BOYCOTTEXODUSMOVIE IS TRENDING

WITH SOME TWEETING "SINCE WHENWERE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS WHITE?"

OTHERS TAKE ISSUE WITH THE FACTTHAT BLACK AND MIDDLE EASTERN

ACTORS ONLY PLAY SLAVES IN THISMOVIE.

>> Stephen: OH, PLEASE. DOESEVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT

RACE?

EVEN SLAVERY?

( LAUGHTER )SO IS IT OKAY FOR MOVIES TO

DEPICT BIBILCAL EGYPTIANS ASWHITE? YAHWEH OF NO WAY?

YAHWEH!♪ HALLELUJAH ♪

YES! DO YOU HEAR THAT HALTINGAPPROVAL? YES, YAHWEH!

FIRST OFF, I AM SICK OF THE P.C.

POLICE OUT THERE TRYING TO TAKEAWAY OUR INNOCENT FUN AT THE

MOVIES.

WHEN I'M IN THE THEATER, I DON'TWANT TO THINK ABOUT DEPRESSING

THINGS LIKE RACE.

I JUST WANT TO SIT IN THE DARKWITH MY KIDS AND WATCH SINNERS

DROWN IN RIVERS OF BLOOD.

BESIDES, DIRECTOR RIDLEY SCOTTHAD A SOLID EXPLANATION FOR NOT

CASTING MORE MIDDLE EASTERNERS.

SAYING, "I CAN'T MOUNT A FILM OFTHIS BUDGET AND SAY THAT MY LEAD

ACTOR IS MOHAMMAD SO-AND-SOFROM SUCH-AND-SUCH.

I'M JUST NOT GOING TO GET ITFINANCED."

FOLKS, NO, LISTEN, HE IS RIGHT.

HE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

IF YOUR STAR IS MOHAMMADSO-AND-SO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET

FINANCING FROM HOLLYWOOD, THOUGHYOU MIGHT GET THE C.I.A. TO FUND

DRONE STRIKES ONSUCH-AND-SUCHISTAN.

( APPLAUSE )WE'RE WITH YOU, SCOTT, RIDLEY.

PLUS RIDLEY SCOTT HAS THEBACKING FROM THE STUDIO,

MEDIA BARON AND SURVIVOR OF THEFIRST SCROTUM-TO-FACE

TRANSPLANT, RUPERT MURDOCH.

RUPEY TOOK TO THE TWEET-BOARDSTO DISCREDIT THE BOYCOTT-EXODUS

CAMPAIGN, SAYING, MOSES FILMATTACKED ON TWITTER FOR ALL

WHITE CAST.

SINCE WHEN ARE EGYPTIANS NOTWHITE?

ALL I KNOW ARE.

IT'S TRUE-- ALL THE EGYPTIANSRUPERT KNOWS ARE WHITE.

WELL, ACTUALLY, MORE OF ADISTRESSED LINEN.

THE POINT IS, RUPERT'S A MODERNGUY.

HE HAS TONS OF MINORITY FRIENDSWHO ARE WHITE.

IN FACT, HE'S SO COMMITTED TODIVERSITY, ALMOST EVERY ANCHOR

AT FOX NEWS LOOKS LIKE ANANCIENT EGYPTIAN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )ME, TOO.

AND YOU KNOW THEY'RE THE REALDEAL BECAUSE THEY'VE HAD THEIR

BRAINS REMOVED THROUGH THEIRNOSES.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW,EVERYBODY.

NOW, LONGTIME VIEWERS-- FOLKS,LONGTIME VIEWERS OF MY WRIST

WILL KNOW THAT I'VE BEEN WEARINGTHIS RED BRACELET FOR

SEVEN YEARS.

IT'S PART OF MY WRISTSTRONGCAMPAIGN IN WHICH I SINGLE

WRISTEDLY RAISED HUNDREDS OFTHOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FOR THE

YELLOW RIBBON FUND, WHICHASSISTS INJURED SERVICE MEMBERS

AND THEIR FAMILIES.

IT'S A PERFECT FIT.

( APPLAUSE )BECAUSE I BELIEVE NOTHING SAYS

YELLOW RIBBON LIKE REDBRACELETS.

WHEN THE IRAQ WAR ENDED IN 2010,I TOOK ONE WRISTSTRONG BRACELET

OFF, AND NOW I CAN TAKE THE LASTONE OFF.

>> THIS MORNING A MILESTONE INTHE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN.

THE UNITED STATES AND NATOOFFICIALLY ENDED THEIR COMBAT

MISSION.

>> IN AFGHANISTAN, THE U.S. ANDNATO OFFICIALLY CLOSED THEIR

COMBAT MISSION AFTER MORE THAN13 YEARS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, ALL

RIGHT, THERE WE GO.

HERE WE GO.

BOOM!

NOW, I AM-- I AM SORRY THAT OURTROOPS IN AFGHANISTAN ARE NOT

GETTING A PARADE LIKE THE ONETHE IRAQ VETERANS DIDN'T GET.

I DON'T KNOW THE PROBLEM.

THERE MUST BE A WORLDWIDECONFETTI SHORTAGE.

SO BEFORE I GO OFF THE AIR, I'MGOING TO RAISE A LITTLE MORE

GREEN ONE LAST TIME FOR THEYELLOW RIBBON FUND.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

TONIGHT, I AM RAFFLING OFF PARTSOF MY SET.

STEVE, TELL THEM WHAT THEY COULDWIN.

>> WELL, STEPHEN, THEFIRST-PLACE WINNER WILL TAKE

HOME THE ACTUAL STEPHEN COLBERTDESK, MADE OF 100% GENUINE

MATERIAL.

THIS TIMELESS CLASSIC IS SHAPEDLIKE A GIANT "C," OR A SEVERELY

MISSHAPEN "U."

THIS VERY DESK WITNESSED THECOUNTLESS HISTORIC MOMENTS ON

THE "COLBERT REPORT," SUCH ASTHE TIME STEPHEN COLBERT

ANNOUNCED THIS RAFFLE.

>> THANKS, STEVE, THAT SOUNDSLIKE--

>> BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

THE SECOND-PLACE WINNER UPONTAKE HOME THIS BEAUTIFUL THE

"COLBERT REPORT" FAKE FIREPLACE,FEATURING EVERYTHING YOU SEE

HERE-- A GENUINE FAUX MARBLEMANTEL.

A BUTTER SOFT AND BUTTER-STAINEDLEATHER ARMCHAIR, AND 40-INCH

FLATRON STANDARD DEPTH DISPLAYWITH ALONG VIDEO OF A ROARING

FIRE.

OH, MY GOD!

I'M ON FIRE!

I'M IN HELL!

AH!

IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

>> Stephen: THANKS STEVE.

TO WIN GO TOOMAZE.COM/COLBERT, AND YOU'LL

BE ENTERED IN THE RAFFLE FOREVERY $10 YOU DONATE.

THE MORE YOU DONATE, THE MORECHANCES YOU HAVE TO WIN.

REMEMBER, IT'S ALL FOR A GOODCAUSE, BECAUSE THE MONEY WILL BE

SPLIT EQUALLY BETWEEN THE YELLOWRIBBON FUND, AND OUR FRIENDS AT

DONORS CHOOSE.

BEST OF ALL, YOU'LL BE HELPINGME CLEAR OUT MY STUDIO BEFORE

NEXT THURSDAY OR I DON'T GET MYSECURITY DEPOSIT BACK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: THANKS VERY MUCH.WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY

MY GUEST TONIGHT HAS ARMOR LIKE10-FOLD SHIELDS, TEETH LIKE

SWORDS, CLAWS LIKE SPEARS. ATAIL LIKE A THUNDER BOLT, WINGS

LIKE A HURRICANE, AND BREATHLIKE DEATH, THOUGH HE MIGHT

WANT TO LEAVE THAT OFF HISTINDER PROFILE. PLEASE

WELCOME THE LAST GREAT FIREDRAKE OF THE THIRD AGE, SMAUG!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )NOW, SMAUG, WHERE'S THE DRAGON?

(ROARING, RUMBLING]

>> THE CHIEFEST AND GREATEST OFCALAMATIES IS IN THE HOUSE

>> Stephen: SMAUG, EVERYBODY!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I WANT YOU TO KNOW THEY AM NOT

INTIMIDATED BY YOU, EVEN THOUGHYOU HAVE A REPUTATION AS A TOUGH

INTERVIEW BECAUSE YOU OFTEN EATTHE HOST.

>> I EAT A LOT OF THINGS,STEPHEN.

BUT YOU NEEDN'T WORRY.

YOU'RE MY LAST INTERVIEW OF THEDAY. I'VE ALREADY FILLED UP

ON THE LADIES OF "THE VIEW." MY,WEREN'T THEY A FEAST

>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S GOODTO KNOW.

NOW, SMAUG THE IMPENETRABLE,THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

IT'S AN HONOR.

>> YES.

I IMAGINE IT IS.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: NOW, I THINK YOUAND I HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.

WE BOTH LIVE IN GATEDCOMMUNITIES AND WE'RE BOTH

FISCAL CONSERVATIVES WHO SLEEPON GIANT PILES OF MONEY.

>> QUITE RIGHT!

TIME TO RETURN TO THE GOLDSTANDARD.

RAND PAUL, 2016!

YEAH!

GET SOME, RAND!

>> Stephen: NOW, I LIKE YOURSTYLE, BUT NOT EVERYBODY DOES.

>> REALLY?

>> Stephen: NO.

SO LET'S GO OVER YOUR RESUME.

YOU'RE CENTURIES OLD.

>> CORRECT.

>> Stephen: YOU DESTROYEDDALE.

>> CORRECT.

>> Stephen: YOU CAPTURED THEDWARF KINGDOM OF EREBOR

AND ALL ITS TREASURES.

ALL VERY IMPRESSIVE.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: YET, IN THISMOVIE YOU COME ACROSS AS THE

BAD GUY. WHY IS THAT?

>> THAT'S JUST TYPICAL LIBERALHOLLYWOOD BIAS.

IT'S HARD FOR CONSERVATIVES TOGET GOOD ROLES IN THIS TOWN.

THAT'S WHY KELSEY GRAMMAR AND IARE ALWAYS UP FOR THE SAME PART.

>> Stephen: OKAY, BUT-- OVERHERE, BIG GUY.

DON'T EAT THE AUDIENCE.

COME ON, OVER HERE.

LOOK, YOU'RE NOT PLAYING THEDRAGON CARD HERE, ARE YOU,

SMAUG, BECAUSE NOT ALL DRAGONSGET BAD PRESS.

>> STEPHEN, I'M NOT ASKING FORSYMPATHY, BUT I AM TALKING ABOUT

REAL DRAGONS, NOT ONE OF THOSEKHALEESI-WHIPPED LAP LIZARDS

FROM "GAME OF THRONES." GOD, ITDISGUSTS ME.

>> Stephen: OKAY, WHAT ABOUTTOOTHLESS FROM "HOW TO TRAIN

YOUR DRAGON."

HE'S THE HERO.

>> NO, HE'S NOT A HERO.

HE IS A CAPTIVE WHO ALLOWSHIMSELF TO BE RIDDEN BY FILTHY

CHILDREN. TOOTHLESS?

MORE LIKE BALL-LESS! I AM ANOLD-SCHOOL WORM,

KEEPING IT REAL, YO! DOING WHAT DRAGONS

DO.

BOOM.

I'M THE ORIGINAL RADAR.

I INVENTED THE HOSTILE TAKEOVER.

I TAKE YOUR TREASURE.

I DRINK YOUR MILK SHAKE.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

I GET YOUR POINT.

STAY WITH ME.

STAY WITH ME.

COME ON.

NOW, LISTEN WHAT ABOUT LOOKINGOUT FOR THE LITTLE GUY.

>> Stephen: DID YOU OR DID NOTNOT TRY TO KILL BILBO BAGGINS?

>> I'LL TELL YOU THIS,STEPHEN. WHAT WOULD DO YOU

IF SOMEONE BROKE INTO YOUR HOUSEWEARING A HOODIE.

I WAS STANDING MY GROUND.

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

>> Stephen: NO, NO, NO.

NO, I DON'T.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE NEW FILM"THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES."

TELL ME, DOES IT STAY TRUE TOTHE BOOK?

>> I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T READ THEBOOK SO NO SPOILERS,

PLEASE.

>> Stephen: OH, REALLY?

WELL, THEN, I THINK THE ENDINGIS GOING TO GET YOU RIGHT HERE.

AND I THINK WE HAVE A CLIP.

DO WE NEED TO SET THIS UP?

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

NO, I DON'T LIKE THIS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY SENT.

THIS IS ALWAYS SO EMBARRASSING.

I'M BLUSHING.

I CAN TURN MY HEAD AWAY WITHOUTKILLING ANYONE?

>> Stephen: JIMMY?

♪ ♪( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> THAT WAS PRETTY COOL>> Stephen: WOW.

THAT LOOKED DANGEROUS.

DO YOU DO YOUR OWN STUNTS?

>> YES, A LITTLE

BUT MOST OF IT IS C.G.I.

I THINK WE HAVE A PHOTO FROM THESET SOMEWHERE.

DO WE?

TO SHOW THE AUDIENCE.

>> Stephen: JIM.

>> MOTION CAPTURE CAN BE SOTEDIOUS.

I SPENT MOST OF THE MOVIERECITING LINES TO A TENNIS BALL

ON A STICK.

AND I'M NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUTORLANDO BLOOM.

>> Stephen: OKAY, ENOUGH.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE REALSMAUG?

>> IT'S SMOUG?

>> Stephen: SMAUK.

>> SMOUG.

>> Stephen: SMAUK.

>> I DON'T HEAR THE DIFFERENCE.

>> JUST CALL ME DUDE.

>> Stephen: DUDE, YOU'VE BEENCALLED A MOST SPECIALLY GREEDY

STRONG AND WICKED WORM.

HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?

>> PRETTY EXCITED IN A WORMYKIND OF WAY.

WHO WAS IT WHO SAID THAT?

WAS IT PETER JACKSON?

DID HE SAY THAT?

>> Stephen: NO, ACTUALLY ITWAS PROFESSOR TOLKIEN.

>> WHO?

>> Stephen: FORGET ABOUT IT.

LOOK, WE'VE GOT TO GO, BUTBEFORE WE DO, ANY UPCOMING

PROJECTS?

>> YOU KNOW, I WAS OFFERED ON AROLE ON "SHERLOCK."

I TURNED THEM DOWN, OF COURSE.

I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO PLAY SECONDFIDDLE TO THAT HACK CUMBERBATCH?

>> Stephen: WELL, MARTINFREEMAN DOESN'T SEEM TO MIND.

>> MARTIN'S CHEAP.

HE DOESN'T NEED MUCH FEEDING,APPARENTLY.

SWEET, LITTLE MARTIN.

LITTLE, LITTLE, LITTLE MAN.

>> Stephen: YEAH, BUT HE GOTTHE BETTER OF YOU, THOUGH,

DIDN'T HE?

BILBO, HE TRICKED YOU.

>> NO.

>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, THERE'STHAT MOMENT IN THE SECOND MOVIE

WHEN YOU FINISH TOYING WITH HIMAND YOU REAR BACK.

YOU'RE LIKE HOW DO YOU CHOOSE TODIE?

>> THAT'S NOT HOW I DID IT, BUTCARRY ON.

>> Stephen: YES IT WAS.

AND HE POPS ON THE RING AND HEDISAPPEARS.

AND YOU'RE LIKE "WHA-WHAT?">> I SEE, STEPHEN.

DID MY PEOPLE NOT TELL YOU?

>> Stephen: TELL ME WHAT?

>> NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON( BLEEP ).

>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHTBACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S IT

FOR THE REPORT, EVERYBODY.

BEFORE WE GO, I WANT TOTHANK SMAUG AND ALL HIS

HANDLERS, THANK YOU.

LET'S SEE--BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH,

PETER JACKSON, FRAN WALSH,PHILIPPA BOYENS, MATT AITKEN,

MARVYN YOUNG, ZOE SAKER-NORRISH,PHILIP KORSIKA, MAT MONRO,

ALEXANDER BERSON,SEBASTIAN BOMMERSHEIM,

DOUGLAS MCHALE, CODY AMOS, JASONLAZAROFF,

SIMON BAKER, GERARDO AGUILERA,CHAY JOHANSSON, MAX TELFER,

AARON GILMAN, ALEX BURT,ANTHONY MCINDOE, BEN FOLKMAN,

CARLOS FRAIHA, CARMELO LEGGIERO,CAZ TING, DANIEL ZETTL,

DAVE CLAYTON, DREW PARK,EDWINA TING, JERRY KUNG,

JOSEPH KING, JULIAN LEGGE,KEVIN ESTEY,

LUDOVIC CHAILLOLEAU, MARK SMITH,MATTHEW RIORDAN, MERLIN MAERTZ,

MIKE CLARK, PETER CHEN,SIMEON DUNCOMBE, VICTOR HUANG,

DAVID FARMER, BRENT BURGE,JASON BAKER AND MATT LAPPIN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE HERE AT THE

REPORT WHEN I SAY, HOLY( BLEEP ).

WAS THAT BEAUTIFUL.

GOOD NIGHT.