IS GONNA BE A FACTORIN THIS YEAR'S TOUR DE FRANZIA.
- I'VE GOT YOU BY THE BACK.
I GOT YOU BY THE BACK.
- YOU CAN DO IT.WE ALL BELIEVE IN YOU.
VERY GOOD.
- OH, HE LOST HELMET.
HE MISSED THE FLAMINGO.
- OH, GUYS.
- YEAH.
- WHAT IS IT?THAT'S NOT BEER.
- NO, IT'S WHISKEY.
I WATERED IT DOWN THOUGH.
- OKAY.ALL RIGHT, FINE.
- WITH BEER.HERE WE GO.
COME ON.
- OH![laughs]
- BOOZE-ATHON, YEAH.
- COME ON,DERZEL HASSELHOFF,
BAYWATCH THOSE BEERS,YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
- NO, DUDE.I CAN'T DO IT,
I'M STARTINGTO GET HOT MOUTH.
- COME ON,THEY NEED YOUR HELP.
CLOCK'S TICKING BY,LET'S GO.
- NO, NO.
- [laughs]
- YEAH.
GET 'EM.
- EWW.
- OH, MY GOSH.
NOBODY'S PUKED THE POOLIN LIKE, A WHILE.
- IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
IT'S BEEN TOO LONG,ACTUALLY.
- I GUESS WE DID IT.
- YEAH, IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
- I'M DONE.
- WELL, YOU'RE PAYINGFOR A POOL CLEANER.
I MEAN, DON'T BEA DICK ABOUT IT.
THAT IS AN ENTIRE BAGEL BITE.
- HE ATE YOUR BAGEL BITE.
- HE ATE MY BAGEL BITES.
HARRY AND THE HENDERSONSIS LEGIT.
- NO, WE SAID IT WAS LEGIT.
- WHOA, YEAH, HERE'S MY BIRTHDAYPRESENT THAT I GOT YOU.
- OH, DUDE.
- I PUT IT IN A BOX.
- THANKS SO MUCH,
EXCEPT YOU'RE LYING.
I HAD THIS NEXT-DAYEDLAST NIGHT.
- OH, THAT'S A CHOP.[laughs]
- WHO WANTS TO DO A SNIPPET?
- I LOVE SNIPPETS.
- UH, ACTUALLY, WE--
- WITH THE WHIPPETS, RIGHT?
- YEAH, IT'S A WHIPPET.PEOPLE COMES TO SNIP ITS SNOUT.
- WHAT IF WE JUST, UH, DUCKEDOUT INTO THE BATHROOM
AND GOT DRUNK LIKE USUAL?
THAT'LL BE FUN.
- NO, WE ARE MAKING MEMORIES
AND THEN DESTROYING THEM.
- OKAY, NO.THAT IS HIPPY-CRACK, MAN.
DID WE NOT ALL CRY DURINGTHAT STEVE-O DOCUMENTARY?
- RELAX YOUR MIND,I'M GONNA BLAST OFF.
- OH, WOW![laughs]
WE'RE JUST CELEBRATINGBIG DERS' DOG BIRTHDAY.
- YEAH.
- BECAUSE THE DERS' A DOG
AND THEN THERE IS EVERYTHING
THAT'S HAPPENS TO--
- SORRY?
- NOTHING.
- YEAH, HE'S MONKEYINGAROUND AGAIN.
- WHATEVER.
LOOK, UH, THERE'S A BIG SURPRISEFOR YOU IN THE BREAK ROOM.
IT--IT'S A BIRTHDAY CAKE.
ANYWAY, I'M NOT GOING.
- OKAY.
- ANDERS, WE HAVE A DRESS CODE,
CAN YOU PLEASE?
RETURN A STOLEN CAR THAT'SIN OUR POSSESSION?
- [laughs]BOO, NICKY'S JOKING.
IS THAT A JOKE?
- I'M PUKING--I'M DRINKING IT.
- DUDE, WE'RE SHUTTINGTHIS BITCH DOWN.
- WE'RE PARTYING UNTIL 8 P! N!- YEAH.
- OH, YEAH? YOU--YOU--YUP,THAT'S A CHOP.
YOU SAID P.N.
- IT'S OFFICIAL.
- OH, WELL THAT'S A CHOP BACKBECAUSE P.N. IS POST NOON,
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL,
PICK UP SOME KNOWLEDGE.
- SO, UH, DERS,
WHAT WOULD IT TAKEFOR YOU TO CONSIDER
MAYBE DOING THE EXACT OPPOSITEOF SHUTTING BITCHES DOWN?
MAYBE LEAVING THIS BITCH,HEADING TOWARDS HOME BITCH,
HOME SWEET HOME BITCH?
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
SEE THAT SHARK BLIMP OVER THERE?
YOU WIN ME THAT,AND I'LL GO HOME RIGHT NOW.
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, THEN ONESHARK BLIMP CHUMMING RIGHT UP.
- NICE.
- HEY, GOOD LUCK, BUDDY.
- OH, YEAH!
YEAH, YEAH.
- WHOO, WHOO, WHOO!
- HOW MANY MORE TIMESARE YOU GONNA PLAY?
- UH, I'M GONNA PLAY
INFINITY MORE TIMES,LITTLE MAN. OKAY?
- ALL RIGHT, DERS,KEEP POUNDING THAT DOG.
I GOTTA MAKE A CALL, OKAY?- WILL DO.
- DOLPHINS.HEY, MARTY, WHAT'S UP?
IT'S D-BONE.
YOU MIGHT REMEMBER MEAS D-TRAIN.
- MISTER, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.
- BUDDY, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, TOO.YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL.
DID SOMEONE TELL YOUTHAT YOU WERE?
'CAUSE YOU AREN'T.
- I'M GONNA TELL ON YOU.
- YOU TELL EVERYBODYYOU WANNA TELL.
TELL THE WHOLE WORLD.
I'M GONNA TELL ON YOU.PBBBT!
[donkey brays]
- AHHHH!
- HEY, MAN.- OW! WHAT?
- WHAT YOU DOING HERE, MAN?
KID'S TRYING TO PLAYAND YOU GAME HOGGING?
- SINCE WHEN IS THISTHE ONLY GAME?
THERE'S A MILLION GAMES.THEY CAN PLAY OTHER GAMES.
- YOU DO REALIZE THATTHIS IS A DANTE'S, RIGHT?
I MEAN, IT'S BASICALLYA BLACK CHUCK E. CHEESE.
- OKAY. I CAN SEE THAT.I MEAN, THAT GUY'S NOT BLACK.
- OH, THAT'S OAKLAND TONY.
O.T.
OH, HE BLACKER THAN I AM.
- BUDDY, I-I'M SORRY.TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY.
I'M GONNA WILD OUTAND HAVE A GOOD TIME.
I GOT A CUP FULL OF COINS,
AND I'M GONNA GET WILDWITH THEM, ALL RIGHT?
SORRY.
- HEY.
I GOT MY EYES ON YOU.
- LEGITIMATELY SCARY.
TOO DRUNK TO CARE.
I FIGURED I'D TREAT MYSELFA LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW.
- [laughs]- KEEP SHAKING IT, HERE WE GO.
WHOA.- OH.
- DUDE, IS THAT MY GIFT?
- UH, YEAH, YEAH.- YEAH.
- YEAH, IT IS YOUR--IT IS YOURBIRTHDAY PRESENT.
- WOO, HEY.
- I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURETHEY ARE NOT POISONOUS.
[growls]
NO, IT'S GOOD UNLESSYOU'RE ALLERGIC TO GLITTER, SO--
- WHOA, GLITTER TITTIES,FOR REAL?
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
- COME ON, MAN.LET'S GO.
- SORRY, MAN. YOU'RE 46 TICKETSSHY OF THE SHARK.
YOU COULD GET SOME VAMPIRE TEETHAND SOME SCRUNCHIES.
- WHAT?
OKAY, LOOK.
I'M NOT TRYINGTO FREAK OUT ON YOU, MAN.
YOU'RE JUST DOING YOUR JOB.
I'VE GOT A JOB, TOO.
AND I DO IT SOMETIMES.
BUT THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, OKAY?
WE'VE GOT A GUYWHO IS FIVE BEERS AWAY
FROM TURNING INTO THE DERS.
THIS IS A GUY WHO [bleep]EDA COY FISH IN THE MOUTH
UNTIL IT DIEDIN FRONT OF A P.F. CHANG'S.
- I JUST COUNT TICKETS, DUDE.
- [laughs]- YEAH, I'M YOUR BOSS.
- HERE WE GO.TRYING TO BUCK YOU.
OH, SHE JUST MADEHER BUTTHOLE WINK.
- WHAT?- IT JUST WINKED AT ME.
- OH, THAT IS TOO REAL.
- OH MY GOD.
- WELL, NOT A FAN.
LET'S STICK TO HITS, PLEASE.
- COOL.
- TITTIES UP.- ANGEL,
HOLD UP BUDDY,MY KNEES ARE BURNING--
WHAT THE HELL!
I NEED TO SEE YOU OUTSIDE NOW.
- WHERE THEY GO?WHERE THEY AT?
- [laughs]
- OH, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU.
I CAN'T AFFORD YOU FOR LONGER.
BUT I'M GOING TO MISS YOU.
- BUTTON UP.
LET'S PLAY IT SAFE.THERE'S KIDS.
THERE'S KIDS.YOU GOT TO RESPECT THE KIDS.
SOMEONE TOOKA SIP FROM MY BEER.
I DON'T LIKE THAT,BIRTHDAY BOY.
- ANGEL, GO PLAYWITH THE TEAM, OKAY?
- LATER, DUDE, WE CHANGEDYOUR LIFE. DON'T FORGET THAT.
- YEAH DUDE, YOU'RE GOING TOREMEMBER THAT FOREVER.
- NOW, I AIN'T TRYINGTO FIGHT TODAY
BECAUSE IT'SA BEAUTIFUL OCCASION.
BUT YOU BROUGHT STRIPPERS,ALBEIT SOME FINE ASS STRIPPERS,
TO A KID'S PIZZA PLACE.
- DUDE, I'M NOT GOINGTO SAY THIS AGAIN.
TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY
AND I'M GOING TO DO
WHATEVER I WANNA DO.
[shout]
- WHAT WAS THAT?
LET THE PROPOSED PROPERTY TAXOVERRIDE FUND THE...
[whistle blows]
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER
FOR THE NEXT PRESIDENTOF RANCHO CUCAMONGA,
ANDERS HOLMVIK.
- [laughter]
- HEY!
HELLO.
GREETINGS,MY FELLOW RANCHO CUCAMONGANS.
MY NAME ISANDERS TORFIN HOLMVIK.
I'M HERE TO ANNOUNCE TODAY
THAT BECAUSE I AM NOW25 YEARS YOUNG,
IT'S NOT OLD, IT'S YOUNG,
I'M THEREFORE ELIGIBLE TO RUNFOR CITY COUNCILMAN DUDE...
AND I'M GOING TO DO IT.
- YEAH.- ALL RIGHT.
- SO PROUD.
- OKAY.
NOT TODAY LIKE, YOU KNOW, MAYBEDOWN IN LIKE 2016.
I'VE GOT A--
SOME STUDENT LOANS TO PAY OFF.
SO GET THAT OUT OF THE WAY
AND THEN I'M GONNA BEUP IN YOUR GRILLS
ASKING FOR VOTES, OKAY?
SO, CONSIDER THIS A WARNING.
AND HERE'S A SLOGAN:
IT'S, "YOU CAN ALWAYSBET ON DERS."
THAT'S MY NAME.
- [laughter]
- EXCUSE ME.
THIS IS LIKE A FORUMWE RUN FOR CITY COUNCIL.
- I KNOW, DUDE.
I'M SAID, I'M GOING TO RUN.
WE GOTTA STICK.I'LL GET HIM OUT OF OFFICE,
ASAP.
- VOTE OR DIE.
VOTE OR DIE.
VOTE OR DIE.
VOTE OR DIE.
- PLEASE LEAVE.- VOTE OR DIE.
- WE NEED YOU TO GO.
- VOTE OR DIE.
VOTE OR DIE.
