Pulp Comics: Louis C.K.

  • Season 1, Ep 0112
  • 05/22/1999

So my boyfriend's been growing

his hair, and it's like really

thick and curly, and it's like--

goes out like Bozo the Clown,

you know what I mean?

And it's been at that in-between

stage for about two years.

And I'm sure that if I'm patient

and wait, one day it will look

really, really good.

But for now, he looks like a man

in a bob.

It's sort of like Cher's face

used to be, remember, before

Believe?

Oh, my God, she looks amazing,

doesn't she?

I know, I love Believe.

But it's true.

Do you remember Cher's face

before Believe?

It was all over the map.

It kept shifting.

Nothing was working.

It was a plastic surgery

nightmare.

Then all of a sudden it suddenly

settled, and, boom, she looked

fantastic.

And she was on top of the world

again.

Oh, my God, I love that song

more than life itself.

And I think that she looks like,

not really human, more like a--

Yeah, you know, like not human,

but sexy, like a sexy robot, you

know what I mean, a very sexy

robot?

And she sounds like a sexy robot

too.

[imitating Cher]

♪ Believe, believe.

You know, that song is so great

that I think it's going to have

a comeback in years from now.

Like in 2050 that song is going

to be a huge hit again, because

there actually will be actual

sexy robots then, and they will

love that song.

And it'll probably be sung by

Cher herself, because she'll

still be around, looking more

fabulous than ever at 103.

And then the robots will

probably adopt that song as

their anthem, and they'll sing

it to themselves, as they take

over the world, crushing humans

under their silicone heels.

And they will install Cher as

their android goddess, because

by then she'll be mostly plastic

and wires anyways.

[applause]

And as they crush the humans

under their silicone heels, the

last thing we hear will be,

♪ Believe.

♪ Believe.

♪ Believe.

♪ Believe.

♪ Believe.

♪ Believe.

Thank you very much.

Good night.

[applause]

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