Wednesday, January 29, 2014

  • Season 1, Ep 01015
  • 01/29/2014

Riki Lindhome, Jonah Ray and Kyle Dunnigan make chain restaurants sexy, give American names to Japanese inventions and create new Netflix categories.

#HASHTAGWARS.

( APPLAUSE )THE SUPER BOWL IS SUNDAY.

IT'S THE BIGGEST ADVERTISING DAYOF THE YEAR AND BECAUSE EVERYONE

KNOWS SEX SELLS TONIGHT'S HASHTAX IS #SEXYRESTAURANTS.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE PANDASEX-PLEAS.

BAREBACK STEAK HOUSE.

DON'T ASK FOR THE BLOOMINGONION.

NO, DON'T EVEN PATRONIZE ME!

( APPLAUSE )I'M GOING TO PUT 60 SECONDS ON

THE CLOCK.

KYLE DUNNIGAN.

>> BLUMPKIN DONUTS.

( APPLAUSE )>> THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE

WORDS.

JONAH RAY.

>> JACK-IN-THE-BOX.

>> CALIFORNIA ( BLEEP ).

( APPLAUSE ).

>> I LOVE THAT YOU SAID IT LIKETRACY FLICK.

POINTS.

JONAH RAY.

>> FIVE GUYS.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

>> POINTS!

RIKI LINDHOME.

>> JONAH RAY.

>> DUNKIN' DEES NUTS.

>> INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF TITSAND IT'S SHORT IHOT.

>> BLACK ANUS STEAKHOUSE.

( APPLAUSE ).

>> POINTS.

JONAH RAY.

>> BASKIN THROBIN.

>> KYLE DUNNIGAN.

>> AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

>> YES, I'LL GIVE YOU POINTS FORTHAT.

WELL DONE!

THAT WAS THE END OF A PHENOMENAL#HASHTAGWARS.

IT IS TIME TO PLAYKONICHIWHAT?!.

I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU GUYS ACLIP FROM A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF

SOME INSANE JAPANESE TECHNOLOGYAND FOR 250 POINTS YOU HAVE TO

COME UP WITH THE AMERICAN NAMEFOR THAT PRODUCT, OKAY?

ARE YOU READY?

HERE WE GO.

THIS FIRST ONE, I HAVE NO IDEAWHAT THIS AMAZING THING IS.

I DON'T--( LAUGHTER )

WHAT IS THE NAME FOR THIS?

RIKI LINDHOME.

>> PROM PRACTICE.

>> WAIT!

WAIT A MINUTE!

WAIT A MINUTE!

WAIT!

WHY IS SHE PRACTICING THAT?

>> SHE'LL JUST KNOW WHAT ITFEELS LIKE.

>> DON'T DEFINE SWULLITY, CHRIS.

>> I'M NOT DEFINING IT.

>> HE'S GOING TO HAVE EMPATHYFOR THE GUY.

>> ANOTHER I GOT IT.

JONAH, DID YOUR DATE PEG YOU ATPROM?

( LAUGHTER ).

>> THANK YOU FOR ASSUMING I GOTTO GO TO PROM.

( LAUGHTER )>> OH, LITTLE BUDDY!

NEXT, THIS TOTALLY NECESSARYTOILET BIKE.

KYLE DUNNIGAN.

>> POOPER SCOOTER.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> YEAH!

I'LL GIVE YOU THAT, POINTS,SURE!

( APPLAUSE ).

>> WHAT'S THE BIKE JACKNICHOLSON WROTE IN "QUEASY

RIDER."

>> "QUEASY RIDER WAS THE NAME OFTHE THING I'M FEEL NOW AFTER

THAT PUN PUP KNOW WHAT, JOAN AIADORE AND YOU I ADORE PUNS AND

BECAUSE WE HAVE WORKED OUT OURDIFFERENCES ON THE NERDIST

BROADCAST-->> THINK IT THROUGH, HARDWICK,

THINK IT THROUGH.

BE FAIR!

>> YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

>> OH!

>> NO, I DIDN'T SAY IT!

>> SAY WHAT?

>> NO POINTS.

SUCK IS, DOG SHIRT!

( APPLAUSE )( LAUGHTER )

NEXT ONE, NEXT ONE.

LOOK AT THIS.

BEER POURING ROBOTS.

THINK OF ALL THE TIME YOU'D ADDTO YOUR BEER PROCESS.

JONAH RAY.

>> CPOINT 3P O.

>> I'LL TAKE THAT.

>> I WAS GOING TO SAY RU DRUNK2.

>> YES, POINTS, I'LL GIVE YOUPOINTS FOR THAT RIKI LINDHOME.

>> WHAT ABOUT WALL AA?

>> YES, POINTS!

EVERYONE GETS POINTS!

NEXT ONE.

NEXT ONE.

WHAT IS THAT?

JONAH.

>> THE UNCLE PILLOW.

( APPLAUSE )>> UM.

>> YES?

>> THE REST OF US DON'T KNOWWHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

W.T.F. OR D.T.F.?

( APPLAUSE )NOTHING CAN CHANGE THE MEANING

OF A TWEET MORE THAN A HASHTAG.

I'M GOING TO READ A TWEET ANDFOR 250 POINTS I WANT TO YOU

TELL ME IF THE HASHTAG WASW.T.F. OR D.T.F.

TO HELP ILLUSTRATE DIFFERENCES,LET'S LOOK AT LAST NIGHT'S

STIEWN ADDRESS WHERE IT LOOKEDLIKE JOHN BOEHNER WAS THINKING,

W.T.F.

WHILE JOE BIDEN WAS HIS USUALD.T.F.

YEAH!

IT'S YOU TONIGHT.

IT'S YOU.

( APPLAUSE )VICE PRESIDENT.

ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE FIRST ONE,DANCE FLOOR IS FULL OF CLOWNS

AND CLOWN DILDOS.

JONAH RAY.

>> D.T.F.

>> I HOPE IT IS.

BUT IT IS!

YES.

NEXT ONE, FELL OVER INTO ANOVEN.

RIKI LINDHOME.

>> W.T.F.?

>> I HOPE SO.

>> NO!

WHAT!

>> I WANT TO MEET THAT PERSON?

BEFORE THE BREAK, I SHOWED YOUAN ACTUAL OFFICIAL PETITION TO

THE WHITE HOUSE TO DEPORT JUSTINBIEBER, WHICH HAS RECEIVED THE

REQUIRED 100,000 SIGNATURES.

SO I ASKED YOU TO ISSUE ASTATEMENT RESPONDING TO THE. AS

PRESIDENT OBAMA.

WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT WILLACTUALLY IN OUR CULTURE AND NOT

A BIT ON A COMEDY SHOW.

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GUYS WROTE.

JONAH RAY.

>> WE APOLOGIZE.

TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.

BUT DUE TO THE ACT OF 2014, WECANNOT DEPORT.

( APPLAUSE ).

>> THAT WAS REALLY, REALLYSPOT-ON OBAMA, MAN.

>> IT WAS A GAME-TIME DECISION.

>> AND REGRET IT.

( LAUGHTER )>> KYLE DUNNIGAN.

>> DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH( BLEEP ) I HAVE GOING ON?

IT'S CALLED THE WORLD.

I WISH SOMEONE WOULD DEPORT METO CANADA.

( APPLAUSE ).

>> ALL RIGHT, RIKI LINDHOME.

>> IF I DEPORTED BIEBER, THATWOULD LEAD TO A WAR WITH USHER

THAT THIS COUNTRY CANNOT AFFORDRIGHT NOW.

NOW IT'S TIME FOR NEW NETFLIXCATEGORIES.

WE NEED THEM.

( APPLAUSE )I'M SURE YOU GUYS, AS YOU ARE

NETFLIXING, HAVE NOTICED THATTHERE ARE BIZARRELY SPECIFIC

CATEGORIES, LIKE DARK CANADIANTHRILLERS.

OR VISUALLY STRIKING FATHER-SONMOVIES.

SO, COMEDIANS, IN 60 SECONDS IWANT TO YOU BUZZ IN WAZ MANY NEW

CATEGORIES AS YOU CAN.

READY, SET, GO.

RIKI LINDHOME.

>> SUN DANCE MOVIES ABOUT AIDS.

>> THAT MIGHT ALREADY BE ONE.

>> MOVIES THAT DON'T HOLD UP.

( BLEEP ).

>> THAT WOULD BE AN AWESOMECATEGORY.

MOST OF THEM, POINTS.

>> KEIRA KNIGHTLEY SOB NASCORSET.

>> THERE HAVE TO BE LIKE 14RIGHT THERE.

KYLE DUNNIGAN.

>> SETH ROGAN MOVIES NOT MADE BYJOE APATO.

>> JONAH RAY.

>> GANDHI CHICK CAN FLICKS.

>> POINTS.

RIKI.

>> WHEN JEREMY PIVENS WAS STILLBALLED.

>> ANYTHING BEFORE '98.

>> PRELEGAL OLSON TWINS.

>> WAIT, WILL YOU PLEASE THAT ASCRAIG.

>> PRELEGAL OLSON TWINS.

>> YES!

POINTS.

JONAH RAY.

>> MUSIC DOCUMENT-- BUZZER.

>> DO, DO IT.

>> MUSIC DOCUMENTARIES ABOUTBANDS YOU NEVER HEARD OF THAT

NEVER MADE IT.

>> MOVIES WHERE WHITE WOMANSOLVE RACIAL ISSUES.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> POINTS.

JONA.

>> MOVIES NICK CAGE MADE BECAUSEHE'S IN DEBT.

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