The Problem with Popplers

  • Season 2, Ep 15
  • 05/07/2000

Aliens threaten to devour mankind after the crew unknowingly sells their young as fast food.

HEY...

BUSINESS IS GREAT.

GREAT IS OKAY,BUT AMAZINGWOULD BE GREAT.

( people chattering )

Man:PLEASE, DON'T PUSH.

THERE'S HOT DOGSFOR EVERYONE.

( growls )

HEY, MAC, WHERE DOYOU WANT THOSE RATDROPPINGS YOU ORDERED?

( disgusted groans )

WAIT A MINUTE.YOU'RE THE NOT THE GUY

WHO DELIVERSTHE RAT DROPPINGS.

( sniggers )

WHAT AREYOU SELLING?POPPLERS?

NEVER HEARDOF 'EM.

EAT IT OR BEAT IT.

MMM, MMM.

THESE ARE GREAT.

BOYS, THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY.

I'M JOE GILMAN.

WOW.

YOU'RE SOME GUYWHO EATS AT FISHY JOE'S?

HELL, NO.

I AM FISHY JOE.

I'VE GOT AFAST-FOOD FRANCHISE

ON EVERY PLANET INTHE KNOWN UNIVERSE,

EXCEPT McPLUTO.

HEY, FISHY, I'VE BEENMEANING TO WRITE YOU

ABOUT YOUR IN-STOREKIDDY PARKS.

THE SLIDES WON'T SUPPORTAN ADULT ROBOT.

GOOD POINT.NOT INTERESTED.

BUT THESE POPPLERS--THESE ARE GREAT.

HOW MUCH DO YOUSELL THEM FOR?

A DOLLAR A DOZEN.

YOU'LL NEVERMAKE MONEYTHAT WAY.

YOU SUPPLY THEM TOME AND I'LL SELL THEMFOR TWO BUCKS A DOZEN

AT MYRESTAURANTS.

I'LL EVEN PAY YOUA DOLLAR A DOZEN.

YES! I'M GOING TO BE RICH!

YOU, TOO, BUT IT'S HARDTO GET EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

HOW DO WE SIGN?

( music from H.M.S. Pinafore )

♪ POP A POPPLER IN YOUR MOUTHWHEN YOU COME TO FISHY JOE'S ♪

♪ WHAT THEY'RE MADE OFIS A MYSTERY ♪

♪ WHERE THEY COME FROM,NO ONE KNOWS ♪

♪ YOU CAN PICK 'EM,YOU CAN LICK 'EM ♪

♪ YOU CAN CHEW 'EM,YOU CAN STICK 'EM ♪

♪ IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO SUE US ♪

♪ YOU CAN SHOVE ONEUP YOUR NOSE. ♪

I CAN'T PAY.

( all grumbling loudly )

STOP!

STOP EATINGPOPPLERS.

WHY?

MY BOOZE!

POPPLERS ARE INTELLIGENT.

THIS ONE CALLED ME "MAMA."

CONGRATULATIONS.

I ASSUME AMYIS THE FATHER.

POPPLERS CAN'T TALK.

LEELA MUST BEHALLUCINATING

FROM NOT EATINGENOUGH POPPLERS.

HERE, EAT SOME NOW.

NO!

I SAID EAT!

COME ON! MANGIA!

OH! SORRY, BABIES.

LEELA, MAYBE YOUSHOULD LIE DOWN.

YES, LISTEN TO THE FATHER.

I'M TELLING YOU IT SPOKE TO ME.

COME ON, LITTLE POPPLER.

SAY "MAMA."

LOOK, LEELA,EVEN IF YOU HEARD ONE TALK,

THAT DOESN'T MEANIT'S INTELLIGENT.

I MEAN, PARROTS TALK,AND WE EAT THEM, RIGHT?

YEAH, MAYBEIT JUST LEARNED

TO TALK AS A PARLORTRICK, LIKE FRY.

( parrot-like ):LIKE FRY, LIKE FRY.

THERE'S ONE WAY,AND ONLY ONE WAY

TO DETERMINEIF AN ANIMALIS INTELLIGENT--

DISSECT ITS BRAIN.

NO! MAMA!

STOP GRANDPA!

( all gasping )

ENOUGH CHITCHAT.

RESTRAIN THE SPECIMEN.

Woman:...SOME OF THAT SPECIAL SAUCE.

( munching sounds )

STOP EATING POPPLERS!

THEY CAN TALK!

DON'T STOP TO TALK.

EAT POPPLERS!

HEY, CUT IT OUT.

TAKE A COUPON.

CUT IT OUT.

OW! OOH! OW!

( barking )

PEOPLE, I WON'T LET YOU ENTER.

POPPLERS ARE AS INTELLIGENTAS YOU OR ME.

YOU, MAYBE.

( groaning )

( bell ringing )

HEAR ME! HEAR ME!

STOP EATING POPPLERS!

STOP EATINGTHEM WITH HONEYMUSTARD SAUCE!

STOP EATING THEMWITH TANGY SWEET-AND-SOUR SAUCE.

STOP EATINGTHE NEW FIESTAPOPPLER SALAD.

STOP TAKINGADVANTAGE OF THEMONEY-SAVING 12-PACK.

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