April 30, 2015 - Baltimore Gang Truce & Gay Marriage Fears

  • 04/30/2015

Larry chats with Baltimore gang members, and Brad Garrett, Dana Perino and Lewis Black weigh in on the claims that gay marriage legalization will have dire consequences.

>> Larry: WELCOME TO "THENIGHTLY SHOW."

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME.

SO NICE TO HAVE YOU-->> LARRY!

LARRY!

LARRY!

LARRY!

LARRY!

>> Larry: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I LARRY, LARRY, LARRY, LARRY,LARRY. WILMORE

NOW, WE'VE BEEN COVERING THEFREDDIE GRAY CASE THIS WHOLE

WEEK, SO LAST NIGHT AFTER THESHOW I DECIDED THAT, YOU KNOW,

WE SHOULD TALK TO SOME ACTUALPROTESTERS.

SO I HOPPED ON A TRAIN TOBALTIMORE-- THIS IS TRUE-- AND,

OF COURSE, AS SOON AS I DID,THIS HAPPENED.

>> IN NEW YORK CITY,DEMONSTRATORS CLASHED WITH

POLICE.

>> MORE THAN 100 PEOPLE WEREARRESTED DURING THE PROTESTS IN

MANHATTAN.

>> Larry: COME ON, GUYS!

I JUST LEFT TOWN TO GO TO SOMEPROTESTING.

( LAUGHTER )IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU WEREN'T

EVEN THINKING ABOUT "THE NIGHTLYSHOW WITH LARRY WILMORE" AT ALL

WHEN YOU MADE YOUR "LET'S STARTA PROTEST IN LARRY'S 'HOOD"

PLAN.

KNOW MY SCHEDULE, ALL RIGHT.

MAN. BUT OF ALL THE THINGS GOINGON IN BALTIMORE

THE THING THAT FASCINATED ME THEMOST WAS THIS GANG TRUCE.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS HEARDABOUT IT, BUT EVERYBODY WAS

TALKING ABOUT IT.

>> RIVAL GANGS IT'S BLOODS,CRIPS, AND BLACK GUERILLA

GANGS-- CALLING A TRUCE FOR THEFIRST TIME IN HISTORY.

THE REAL PROBLEM THEY SAY ISDECADES OF POVERTY AND POLICE

BRUTALITY

>> Larry: YOU KNOW THE COPSARE RUNNING WILD WHEN GANG

LEADERS START SOUNDING LIKE NOAMCHOMSKY BY COMPARISON.

SO ANYWAY, LAST NIGHT, I HEADEDDOWN TO BALTIMORE, AND I SAT

DOWN IN A DINER WITH SOME RIVALGANG MEMBERS WHO CALLED A TRUCE,

AND WE ATE A LITTLE PIE.

TAKE A LOOK.

I'M HERE WITH SOME OF THEBROTHERS WHO ARE HERE IN

BALTIMORE HERE DOING ALL THEUPRISING, THE UNREST.

HAVE YOU GUYS EATEN YOU HAVELOOKED AT THE MENU?

>> I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT.

>> Larry: CAN WE HAVE AWAITRESS IN HERE.

WHO BROUGHT YOU GUYS TOGETHER?

>> I HAVE KNOWN THIS BROTHER ALONG TIME.

KNOWN THIS BROTHER A LONG TIME>> HOW LONG YOU HAVE KNOWN HIM.

>> LIKE FOUR YEARS.

>> FOUR YEARS.

>> Larry: IN GANG TIME,THAT'S LIKE 18 YEARS, RIGHT.

SO ARE YOU GUYS IN THE SAMEORGANIZATION OR DIFFERENT

ORGANIZATIONS.

>> NO, THE SAME ORGANIZATION.

>> Larry: SAME ORGANIZATION.

YOU'RE THE SAME.

YOU'RE THE SAME.

YOU'RE NOT IN THE ORGANIZATION.

>> I'M COOL WITH EVERYBODY.

>> Larry: HE'S COOL WITHEVERYBODY.

>> HE'S COOL WITH EVERYBODY.

>> Larry: SO YOU GUYS HAVECALLED A TRUCE-- WAIT, IS IT A

TRUCE OR A TREATY?

IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE RATIFIED BYCONGRESS OR ANYTHING.

>>>> NO,.

>> Larry: BECAUSE JOHN BOEHNERIS AN [BLEEP] I'LL TELL YOU NOW

>> WE DIDN'T HAVE A TRUCE ORTREATY.

WE HAD MEN RESPECTING MEN AS MENAND WE DID IT JUST LIKE THAT.

>> I WAS WALKING AND WE WAS ALLIN A PACK DOWN FULTON AVENUE

AND ONE THE BLOOD HOMIES STEPPEDON MY SHOE. AND I LOOKED AT HIM

AND SAID YOU KNOW 3 DAYS AGO I'DHAVE HIT YOU IN THE MOUTH FOR

THAT? AND HE SMILED.

>> Larry: THREE DAYS FROM NOWTHINGS MIGHT BE BACK TO NORMAL

AND YOU CAN HIT HIM IN HIS MOUTHAGAIN.

>> NO, HE'S GOOD.

>> Larry: THAT'S GOOD.

THE TRUCE IS GOOD.

IT'S FOREVER NOW, RIGHT?

IS THAT WHAT WE'RE SAYING?

>> AS FAR AS US.

WE CAN'T SPEAK FOR WHOLECOUNTRY, BUT AS FAR AS

BALTIMORE, WHAT WE'RE DOING,THIS IS WHAT WE'RE DOING.

WE START WITH US.

>> Larry: WHERE DO YOU GUYSTHINK THE ANGER IN THE COMMUNITY

COMES FROM?

WHERE TO YOU THINK THAT COMESFROM?

>> THE ANALOGY I'VE BEENUSING IS, NOW YOU SEE THIS

CORNER ON THE MENU? THIS IS ACORNER.

THIS IS A PERSON.

THIS IS YOU.

IT'S ONLY SO FAR BACK INTO THISCORNER YOU CAN PUSH ME BEFORE I

HAVE TO PUSH BACK.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED

THEY PUSHED BACK.

>> Larry: THAT'S WHAT A LOT OFAMERICA CAN'T RELATE TO RIGHT

NOW.

THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

>> OF COURSE NOT. IF YOU LIVE INA MILLION-DOLLAR HOUSE

HOW CAN YOU RELATE TO LIVING INTHE HOOD AND GETTING PUSHED?

YOU'RE GOOD. YOU CAN'TUNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE GOING

THROUGH. SAME, AS WHEN YOU'RELIKE MAN, I HAVE TO PAY MY

PROPERTY TAX. I CAN'T RELATE TOTHAT.

I NEVER PAID PROPERTY TAXBEFORE.

>> Larry: I'LL TELL YOU ABOUTTHE ANGER OF THE PROPERTY TAX.

SO LET'S SAY THIS IS MYMILLION-DOLLAR HOUSE, OKAY.

( LAUGHTER )AND THE PROPERTY TAX IS PUSHING

ME INTO THIS CORNER.

THAT'S WHEN I GET ANGRY.

( LAUGHTER )THAT'S WHEN I BURST.

A LOT OF PEOPLE CAN'T RELATE TOTHAT.

>> YOU CALL A LAWYER AND YOUPUSH BACK.

EXACTLY.

>> Larry: AND THEN IT'S AVICIOUS CYCLE.

HAVE YOU GUYS EVER STOPPEDSOMEBODY FROM DOING SOMETHING,

LIKE PHYSICALLY STOPPED SOMEBODYFROM THROWING SOMETHING?

>> I WHOOPED SOMEBODY'S ASS>> DID YOU?

>> YEAH.

>> THE PEOPLE THAT CAME UP ONTHE AVENUE, WEREN'T FROM THERE.

>> Larry: SO THERE WERE PEOPLEWHO AREN'T EVEN FROM AROUND

THERE.>> IT WAS LITTLE KIDS

>> IT WAS ALSO PEOPLE -->> HOW OLD WERE THEY?

>> HIGH SCHOOL, LIKE, MIDDLESCHOOL.

>> THEY STARTED-->> I SAW JON STEWART OUT THERE.

>> Larry: YOU SAW JON STEWARTOUT THERE.

>> I'M STANDING IN FRONT OF THESCHOOL, ME AND A COUPLE OF

HOMIES.>> Larry: OK, SCOOBY AND

A COUPLE OF HOMIESSTANDING IN FRONT OF THE STORE.

>> JON STEWART IS RIGHT BEHINDUS.

>> JON STEWART IS NOT HERE.

TRUST ME.

TRUST ME ON THAT.

HE IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.

>> THE POLICE PULL UP IN A TANK.

>> Larry: A TANK, LIKE ONE OFTHOSE BIG HUMVEES.

>> THEY COME OUT WITH THEIRASSAULT RIFLES.

AND I WAS LIKE, "MAN, THIS IS'CALL OF DUTY'."

>> Larry: THEY JUMPED OUT.

THEY DID, THEY POINT THEIR GUNSAND ALL THAT AND I GOT HIT WITH

A CONCUSSION GRENADE. I GOTHOLES ALL IN MY FAVORITE HOODIE

>> Larry: WAIT, THAT HAPPENEDTHIS PAST WEEK?

YOU GOT HIT WITH A CONCUSSIONGRENADE?

>> TWO DAYS AGO. THEY THREW ITRIGHT TOWARDS US AND WE WERE

PROTECTING THE STORES>> IT HIT ME RIGHT IN THE RIBS.

>> WE WERE MAKING SURE THERE WASNO LOOTING

>> WE RAN THROUGH THEALLEY, TO

THE PROJECTS, MADE SURE EVERYONEELSE WAS OKAY AND WENT RIGHT

BACK TO OUR POST AND LINKED ARMSAND MADE SURE NOBODY GOT IN THAT

STORE.

>> Larry: WOW.

>> THEY SET ONE POLICE CAR ONFIRE AND WE STOPPED THEM FROM

SETTING THE OTHER CAR ON FIRE.

>> Larry: WOULD YOU GUYS EVERMEET WITH THE POLICE?

>> YEAH.

>> Larry: YOU TALKED TO THEM?

>> EVERY DAY, WE WALK RIGHT PASTTHEM.

WE ASKED, "ARE YOU GOOD?

DO YOU NEED WATER?">> Larry: WHAT WAS YOUR

REACTION.

>> THEY DID BRING US FOOD.

>> Larry: THEY BROUGHT YOUFOOD?

>> I COULDN'T-- I COULDN'T EATTHE SANDWICHES BECAUSE THEY HAD

PORK. SO I HAD TO EAT FIVE BAGSOF CHIPS

>> Larry: I COULD DO A PIGJOKE.

WHAT'S THE MOST SURPRISING THINGTHAT CAME OUT OF ALL OF THIS?

>> ALL THE POSITIVE PEOPLECOMING TOGETHER.

IT WAS FOR ONE COMMON CAUSE-- ITWAS BEAUTIFUL.

>> Larry: DO YOU GUYS HAVEHOPE?

>>, OF COURSE,.

>> OF COURSE,.

>> WHAT ELSE DO WE GOT?

>> Larry: YOU HAVE HOPE, SEAN?

>> THAT'S THE ONLY THING YOUHAVE TO HAVE IF YOU WANT TO

PROGRESS.

>> Larry: I THINK WE HAVE-- ITHINK WE HAVE PIE COMING RIGHT

NOW.

SEAN DOESN'T LIKE PORK, SO MAKESURE SEAN DOESN'T GET THE PORK.

YOU GUYS HAVE REALLY BEEN GREAT.

I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU HAVINGTHIS CONVERSATION WITH ME.

IS THERE ANY OTHER THING YOUWOULD LIKE TO SAY EITHER TO

AMERICA, TO PEOPLE WATCHING THISPROGRAM?

>> I WANT EVERYBODY TO KEEPTHEIR HOPE, AND STAY PEACEFUL.

I MEAN, WHEN-- WHEN THEY HEARTHE POLICE VERDICT FRIDAY,

DON'T GIVE UP BECAUSE THAT'S NOTTHE LAST OF THE INVESTIGATION.

IT'S A LOT MORE INVESTIGATIONSAFTER THAT.

( APPLAUSE )KEEP THE HOPE.

>> Larry: ARE WE SPLITTINGTHIS SIX WAYS?

I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW WE'REGOING.

>> YEAH. LET'S SEE HOW MANYPOCKETS YOU'VE GOT

>> Larry: YOU DON'T HAVE,LIKE, A CORPORATE CREDIT CARD

THAT YOU USE?

( APPLAUSE ).

>> Larry: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK!

MAN.

VERY EXCITING WEEK THIS WEEK.

THE SUPREME COURT GOT TOGETHERTO HEAR ARGUMENTS ABOUT

LEGALIZING GAY MARRIAGE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Larry: YES!

YES, YES, YES!

I MEAN, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

SERIOUSLY, THIS IS AN ISSUE WEHAVE BEEN DEBATING FOR A LONG

TIME.

OKAY, SO, EXACTLY HOW ARE THEJUSTICES GOING TO FRAME THIS

DEBATE?

>> IF STATES ARE ALLOWED TO MAKETHEIR OWN DECISION, AND SOME

STATES HAVE BANNED IT, SOMESTATES HAVE APPROVED IT-- DO ALL

STATES THEN HAVE TO RECOGNIZEIT?

>> Larry: AND IF A STATEDOESN'T RECOGNIZE IT, DO WE HAVE

TO RECOGNIZE THAT STATE?

STATE?LAUGH( APPLAUSE ).

( CHEERS )BE TEXAS.PLEASE BE TEXAS.

THE CASE THE SUPREME COURT ISDISCUSSING IS CALLED "OBERGEFELL

V. HODGES," FUN FACT, OBERGEFELLIS A GERMAN WORD WHICH MEANS,

"CAN I LIVE MY DAMN LIFE."

IT'S TRUE.

IT'S ONE OF THOSE COMPOUNDWORDS.

SO I WONDER WHAT OBSCURE LEGALSTATUTES THEY WERE GRAPPLING

WITH FOR THEIR RHETORICAL LEGALARGUMENTS.

>> A LOT OF THE JUSTICES WEREWORRIED ABOUT WHETHER IT WAS

PROPER FOR THE SUPREME COURT TODECIDE THIS.

>> Larry: PROPER?

I DON'T KNOW IF "PROPER" IS THERIGHT WORD.

YOU'RE FIGURING OUT IF GAYPEOPLE DESERVE EQUAL TREATMENT

UNDER THE LAW, NOT IF IT'S OKAYTO TAKE THE LAST MINI-MUFFIN

REPORT FROM THE BREAK ROOM.

( LAUGHTER )IS THAT PROPER?

IS IT PROPER?

IS IT PROPER?

( LAUGHTER )ALL RIGHT, SO HOW ARE THE MOST

BRILLIANT LEGAL MINDS OF OURTIME ARGUING THEIR POINT?

THERE MUST BE A LOT OF LEGALMUMBO JUMBO.

>> JUSTICE KENNEDY DID SAY IFSUE LOVES JOE, AND TOM LOVES

JOE, SUE CAN MARRY JO BUT TOMCAN'T.

HOW IS THAT NOT STRAIGHTFORWARDSEXUAL DISCRIMINATION?

>> Larry: IT ISSTRAIGHTFORWARD SEXUAL

DISCRIMINATION.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )THIS SEEMS LIKE A NO-BRAINER TO

ME.

SERIOUSLY, DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANYREAL SOUND ARGUMENTS BASED IN

FACT AND LOGIC AGAINST SAME-SEXMARRIAGE?

I MEAN, WHAT'S THE WORST THATCOULD HAPPEN WITH GAY PEOPLE

GETTING MARRIED, TOO MUCHHAPPINESS IN THE WORLD?

>> 100 CONSERVATIVE LAWYERS ANDACADEMICS RECENTLY FILED A

SUPREME COURT BRIEF ARGUINGFEDERAL RECOGNITION OF SAME-SEX

MARRIAGE WILL DIRECTLY CAUSE900,000 ABORTIONS OVER THE NEXT

30 YEARS.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Larry: WHAAAT?

WHAAAT?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )HERE'S THE PROBLEM, WHEN PEOPLE

WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN SCIENCE TRYTO DO MATH.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

SINCE WHEN DO SAME-SEX MARRIAGERATES HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH

STRAIGHT MARRIAGE RATES BECAUSEIF I CAN BLAME MY DIVORCE ON GAY

MARRIAGE, I WILL, GLADLY.

( LAUGHTER )I'LL DO IT.

AND 900,000 ABORTIONS!

HOW DO YOU EVEN COME UP WITH ANUMBER LIKE THAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GOING TO TAKE OUT MYCONSERVATIVE CALCULATOR.

( LAUGHTER )NO, NO, NO.

ALWAYS HELPS ME, YOU KNOW, WHENI WANT TO MAKE NO LOGICAL SENSE.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

NO, NO, IT'S GOOD.

FIRST, WE MULTIPLY "M" AND "M,"AND WE ADD THAT TO "W" TIMES "W"

FOR SAME-SEX MARRIAGE RATES.

OKAY, WE DIVIDE THAT BY "M"TIMES "W."

THAT'S STRAIGHT MARRIAGE RATES.

OKAY.

NOW WE TAKE THE DERIVATIVE, "T"PLUS "M," TURTLE MAN MARRIAGE

RATE, AND RAISE THAT TO THEPOWER OF A-CUBED-- ABORTION,

ABORTION, ABORTION.

SO FAR WE'VE GOT-- OH,LEGITIMATE RAPE.

OKAY.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

RIGHT HERE.

THAT CHECKS OUT.

WAIT, LET ME CONTINUE.

NOW WE INTEGRATE SIGMA.

OR FRAT BOY LEVELOF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

WITH THE INFINITE LIMIT OF "T,"OR TIME REPUBLICANS WILL HOLD A

GRUDGE AGAINST THE SUPREME COURTFOR "ROE V. WADE."

ALL RIGHT, AND WE GOT IT.

RIGHT.

THERE IT IS, OKAY!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )ALL RIGHT.

IT MAKES SENSE.

GAY MARRIAGE WILL CAUSE 900,000ABORTIONS YOU GUYS OVER THE NEXT

30 YEARS.

IT TOTALLY CHECKS OUT.

WAY TO GO CONSERVATIVEACADEMICS.

I LOVE THIS ( BLEEP )CALCULATOR, MAN.

IT'S AWESOME.

IT MAKES ALL CONSERVATIVE MATHMAKE SENSE.

LET ME TRY ANOTHER ONE.

CLIMATE CHANGE.

( LAUGHTER )THAT WHICH COULD OUT.

WAIT, I WANT TO TRY ANOTHER ONE.

INCOME INEQUALITY.

IT KEEPS MAKING SENSE!

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

OH, MY GOD!

THIS IS AMAZING!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I'M TELLING YOU, AS LONG AS YOU

LIVE IN YOUR OWN WORLD WITH YOUROWN MATH, ALL OF THIS ADDS UP,

YOU GUYS.

( LAUGHTER )SO LET'S JUST HOPE THAT AT LEAST

FIVE OUT OF THE NINE SUPREMECOURT JUSTICES AREN'T USING THIS

CALCULATOR.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Larry: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,YEAH!

WELCOME BACK.

COMEDIAN ACTOR AND AUTHOR OF"WHEN THE BALLS DROP," BRAD

GARRETT.

YEAH, I LOVE THAT.

HOST OF THE 5 ON FOX NEWS ANDAUTHOR OF "AND THE GOOD NEWS

IS...," DANA PERINO.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AND OUR GOOD FRIEND AND

COMEDIAN, THE ONE AND ONLY,MR. LEWIS BLACK.

WE'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHINGSPECIAL.

WE'RE GOING TO DO OUR "BAG O'GRAB."

AND WE HAVE, LIKE, UNUSUALOBJECTS IN HERE.

AND WHEN YOU PICK UP THE OBJECTIT KIND OF TELLS US WHAT OUR

TOPIC IS AND WE HIT THAT TOPICAND, BOOM, PICK ANOTHER ONE.

DANA, WHY DON'T YOU PICK FIRST.

>> THIS HAS HAD ME NERVOUS ALLAFTERNOON.

>> Larry: DON'T BE NERVOUS.

IT'S GOOD TO JUST GRABSOMETHING.

>> OH, HOW INTERESTING!

>> Larry: THAT IS THE SCOOBYMYSTERY MAN, WHICH MEANS WE MUST

BE TALKING ABOUT HILLARYCLINTON.

OKAY, HERE'S MY THING WITH THECLINTONS.

I THINK FOR SOME REASON THECLINTONS CANNOT GET OUT OF THEIR

OWN WAY.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE TO ME.

I MEAN, YOU HAVE THE CLINTONCASH THING.

YOU HAVE THE E-MAIL THING.

OKAY, SO HERE'S MY QUESTION.

AT THE END OF THE DAY, IS BILLGONNA HURT OR HELP HILLARY?

WHAT DO WE THINK THERE?

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?

>> BOTH.

>> Larry: YOU THINK HE'S GOINGTO THROW HER NUMBER THE SCOOBY

BUS?

>> I THINK HE'S A BENEFIT AND ADRAWBACK, AND I THINK THAT THEY

ARE COUNTING ON HIM BEING MOREOF A BENEFIT THAN A DRAWBACK,

BUT THERE ARE CERTAINLYSIGNIFICANT CHALLENGES, BOTH

CHALLENGES AND OPPORTUNITIES FORHER WITH HIM.

>> Larry: I THINK AT THE ENDOF THE DAY FOR ALL THE STUFF

BILL CLINTON DID, PEOPLE LOVEHIM.

>> YOU KNOW, THE ONE THING, THEONE THING, REALLY, THOUGH, ABOUT

HIM -->> BILL

>> ABOUT BILL.

HE'S THE GREATEST USED CARSALESMAN IN THE HISTORY OF

AMERICA.

>> Larry: YES, UNBELIEVABLE.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> AND HE MAY NOT MAKE YOU WANTTO BUY THE CAR, BUT HE'S

CERTAINLY GOING TO MAKE YOUTHINK ABOUT BUYING IT.

>> Larry: IT'S TRUE.

>> OR AT LEAST MAYBE GETTING INTHE BACKSEAT OF THE CAR.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: I WOULD AGREE WITH

THAT.

ALL RIGHT, BRAD, IT'S YOUR TURN.

"BAG O' GRAB," TAKE IT OUT.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS.

IT'S A -->> IT'S A RAINBOW PIECE OF CAKE.

>> IT'S A RAINBOW CAKE.

>> Larry: WE HAVE THE SCOTUSGAY MARRIAGE RULING, RIGHT.

SO WHAT IS THIS?

WE HAVE SOMETHING WE WANTED TOPLAY HERE, RIGHT?

>> YOU LOOK AT WHAT'S GOING ONIN BALTIMORE TODAY AND, YOU

KNOW, YOU SEE THE ISSUES THATARE RAISED THERE, AND HEALTHY

MARRIAGES ARE THE ONES BETWEEN AMAN AND A WOMAN BECAUSE THEY CAN

HAVE A HEALTHY FAMILY AND THEYCAN RAISE CHILDREN.

>> Audience: BOOOOO!

>> Larry: HERE'S-- I JUST WANTTO THROW THIS OUT.

IT IS ASTONISHING TO ME-- I DIDTHE THING EARLIER-- GAY MARRIAGE

IS BLAMED FOR 900,000 ABORTIONS.

HERE ARE THINGS GAY MARRIAGE HASALREADY BEEN BLAMED FOR.

BRAD, GAY MARRIAGE CAUSES900,000 ABORTIONS.

ARE YOU NOT LISTENING?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!

HERE ARE SOME OF THE OTHERTHINGS--

( LAUGHTER )THESE ARE THINGS THAT PEOPLE

ACTUALLY BLAME THE GAY MARRIAGEON.

THESE ARE-- HURRICANE SANDY.

BLAMED ON GAY MARRIAGE. SODOMAND GEMORRAH

NORTHRIDGE EARTHQUAKE.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Larry: THAT WAS A BIGEARTHQUAKE, TOO.

>> BIG ONE.

>> Larry: MASS ANIMAL DEATHS.

( LAUGHTER )AND SEPTEMBER 11 WAS ALSO BLAMED

ON GAY MARRIAGE.

OKAY, WHAT ELSE IS GAY MARRIAGERESPONSIBLE FOR, BRAD?

>> MY CAREER.

I THINK.

MY CAREER IS-- I COULDN'T GET IN

THE BUILDING.

>> Larry: THAT'S A HORRIBLETHING GAY MARRIAGE IS

RESPONSIBLE FOR.

>> YEAH, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE.

THE BREAKUP OF MENUDO.

>> THAT'S TERRIBLE, THAT'STERRIBLE.

>> SO THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT ARESAYING THIS OUT THERE.

>> Larry: BRAD, YOU'RE NOTLISTENING.

>> I'M NOT.

I'M NOT.

>> BECAUSE IT SOUNDS SO ABSURD.

>> Larry: LEWIS, WHAT ELSE ISGAY MARRIAGE RESPONSIBLE FOR?

>> GAY MARRIAGE WILL BERESPONSIBLE FOR A GLUT OF

MOISTUREIZERS ON THE MARKET.

( LAUGHTER )AND--

>> GOTTA STOCK UP.

>> Larry: THAT ONE I ACTUALLYDO BELIEVE.

>> IT'S NOT ENTIRELY A BAD THING

>> Larry: I BLAME GAY MARRIAGEFOR THE LAKERS PLAYING HORRIBLY.

( LAUGHTER )I WILL JUST SAY THIS-- BEFORE

GAY MARRIAGE STARTED HAPPENINGIN BIG NUMBERS, LAKERS WERE

WINNING CHAMPIONSHIPS.

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

DANA, WHAT'S YOUR RESPONSE?

>> FOR ALL THE THINGS YOUMENTIONED, PEOPLE ARE ABSURDLY

CLAIMING THAT GAY MARRIAGECAUSED, PEOPLE HAVE ALSO SAID

GLOBAL WARMING IS CAUSING, IT'SALMOST INTERCHANGEABLE.

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SAY THAT.

THE UNREST IN THE MIDDLE EAST,AND THEN YOU HAVE THE DROUGHT--

YES, BELIEVE ME.

ISN'T THAT ABSURD, AS SOME OFTHE GAY MARRIAGE COMMENTS THAT

THAT CONGRESSMAN JUST MADE.

>> THE ASTONISHING ABOUT THOSECOMMENTS TO ME, IF YOU HAVE-- IF

YOU'RE REALLY CONFIDENT IN YOURCHOICE AND YOUR BELIEF THAT IT'S

BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN, WHYWOULD GAY MARRIAGE PANIC YOU IF

YOU TRULY BELIEVE-- WHY WOULD ITEVEN AFFECT YOU?

YOU WOULD LAUGH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Larry: I'LL TELL YOU, IF

GAY MARRIAGE WOULD STOP CAUSINGMASS ANIMAL DEATHS MAYBE WE

COULD HAVE IT.

UNTIL THEN, LEWIS, WE CAN'T HAVETHIS DISCUSSION.

LEWIS, PICK SOMETHING OUT OF THE"BAG O' GRAB."

>> SOMETHING ABOUT MAGICIANS?

>> Larry: OKAY, ALL RIGHT,THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

THAT IS THE GANG IN D.C.

WE'VE GOT THE RED AND THE BLUE,AND NOW IT SEEMS PRETTY EASY FOR

THE BLOODS AND THE CRIPS TO COMETOGETHER.

YET, THE DEMOCRATS ANDREPUBLICANS CAN'T.

OKAY.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS )ALL RIGHT?

IT'S SO RIDICULOUS.

OKAY.

WHAT DO WE THINK IS THE BIGGESTTHING KEEPING THEM APART?

BLACK PRESIDENT.

>>, OF COURSE,.

>> Larry: ANYONE?

>> WHAT I FIND ASTONISHING ISTHESE PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, THE

CRIPS AND THE BLOOD, THAT THEYWANT TO KILL EACH OTHER.

WE'RE TALKING DEATH.

>> Larry: RIGHT.

>> AND THEY CAN COME TOGETHER.

ALL THAT'S OCCURRING WITH THEDEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS AND

THE TEA PARTY IS THEY'RE TALKINGIDEOLOGY, AND THEY'RE MORE

PSYCHOTIC ABOUT THEIR IDEOLOGIESTHAN THESE PEOPLE ARE ABOUT

DEATH.

( LAUGHTER )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACKAND TALK MORE OF THIS.