Bender's Big Score Pt. 1

  • Season 0, Ep 1
  • 03/23/2008

Bender undergoes mind control by Planet Express' new owners, and Leela meets the man of her dreams.

[screaming stops]

[hissing]

Leela: It's nice out.

[waves gently splashing]

"You must beat least this naked"?

How much nakeder could you be?

Watch and learn.

[squishing]

[chattering]

[making silly sounds]

[gags]

[waves gently splashing]

[clicks]

You know, it's funny.

What?Your wiener!

[laughing]

Well, I'm goingin the water

to prune up a bitbefore I strut.

Who's with me?

I'm in.Okay, I'll go.

You guys go ahead.

I got to find the bartender

and deliver this boxof barstool softener.

Here's your package, sir.

Why are you talkingto my penis?

Oh, sorry.Sign here.

Mind if I use your pen?

Well, that's not a--

[screaming]

And initial here.

[screaming]

Thank you for usingPlanet Express.

Hey, Fry, I didn't know

you had a tattooof Bender on your ass.

Me, neither.

You got a tattooof me?

Neat. It's like lookingin a smelly mirror.

So he's got a little ink.

Big whoop.

Good news, everyone!

Those asinine moronswho canceled us

were themselves firedfor incompetence.

[whooping and cheering]

And not just fired but beatenup too and pretty badly.

[cheering halfheartedly]

In fact, most of them diedfrom their injuries.

[nervous muttering,clearing throats]

[laughing]

And then they were ground upinto a fine pink powder.

Why?

Oh, it's gota million and one uses.

Ah, that soothes the fire.

So what does this mean for usand our many fans?

It means we're back on the air!

Yes, flying on the airin our mighty spaceship.

[whooping and cheering]

We're back, baby!

Party!

[laughing]

[cries out]

[loud crash]

[trilling]

[gobbling]

[scratching]

[all chanting]Go, go, go!

Lower, lawn mower!

What's the matter, robot,you got a rod up your spine?

Yes, I do.

That's how I'm built.

[cheering]Way to bend it!

You're the greatest,Bender!

[scoffs]In Jamaica,

we got ten-story officebuildings lower than that.

Let's see you beat it,Rasta man.

all: Ohh.

Let's make it interesting.

Fetch down one of them sabers.

Bender:Ooh, flexible.

That would go goodup my spine.

[record scratches]

[steel drum versionof Sabre Dance playing]

Lower.

[all exclaiming]

The fat guy wins!

Go, Hermes! [cheering]

That's why they call me11-inch Conrad.

[screams]