The A-List
Season 1

Jeff Stilson & John Ridley

  • Season 1, Ep 0134
  • 02/24/1992

SO DON'T DRAGTHE CLAPPING OUT.

THROW THE LAUGHTER ASIDEAND JUST ENJOY.

I SLIPPED INTO SOMETHINGA LITTLE LESS COMFORTABLE.

IT'S KIND OF A WINDY CITYAFFAIR...

AND NO PANTIES--NO PANTIES, MILADY.

WHY BOTHER, YOU KNOW?

SAVE SO MUCH TIME ON LITTLE HANDWASHABLES AND STUFF, YOU KNOW.

GOD KNOWS I SPEND HOURSOVER THE SINK

JUST LIKE, SCRUBBING...MY DELICATES.

YOU KNOW, "OOH."

THE DRIP-DRYS, THE DELICATES--

I LIKE THE WAY THEY'RE ARRANGED.

I THINK THEY'RE GOINGTO DRY JUST RIGHT.

THEY SMELL SO FRESH, MMM.

A CANDY PANTY

A MINT PANTY, MMM, DELICIOUS.

REMEMBER EDIBLE PANTIES?

DO THEY STILL HAVE THOSE?

I HAVE A WHOLE COLLECTIONOF THEM MYSELF

THAT I HAVEN'T WORN YET.

I SAVE THEMFOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS.

THEY MELT.

THEY GET ALL...

OH, IT'S A NIGHTMARE.

( laughter )

YOU PUT THEM ON

YOU HAVE A HOT EVENING

YOU'RE SPENDING THE RESTOF THE NIGHT IN THE BATHROOM

PICKING THE PANTIES OUT...

IT'S NOT A PRETTY THING

AND THEN YOU END UP EATING IT.

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU WORK UP AN APPETITE.

IT'S ALL... OH, IT'S DISGUSTING.

SOMETIMES THERE'S NOTHING BETTERTHAN AN EDIBLE PANTY

DON'T YOU AGREE?

I STAYED UP REALLY LATELAST NIGHT

WATCHING A THREE STOOGES MOVIE.

DO YOU LIKE THE THREE STOOGES?

( scattered applause )

DO YOU THINK THEY EVERREJECTED A SCRIPT?

DO YOU THINK THEY EVER SAID

"NO, THIS ONE'S EVENTOO STUPID FOR US"?

KIND OF DIFFICULT WEEK.

I HAD TO TAKE MY CAT TO THE VET.

HE'D BEEN LIMPING.

VET SAYS THAT HE HAS A BAD KNEE.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOWCATS HAD KNEES.

THEY MIGHT NOT.

I KNOW NOTHING ABOUTTHE FELINE ANATOMY.

IF THE VET TOLD ME THE CATNEEDED NEW BATTERIES

I COULD HARDLY ARGUE.

I'M NOT AT THE COMPLETE MERCYOF THE VET, THOUGH.

THERE IS, AFTER ALL,A BUILT-IN PRICE CONSTRAINT.

THE VET CAN'T CHARGE METOO MUCH FOR HIS SERVICES.

I MERELY HAVE TO REMIND HIM

THAT I CAN ALWAYS GETA NEW KITTY FOR NOTHING.

LET'S FACE IT, HIGH VET BILLS

MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO RESPECTTHE SANCTITY OF LIFE.

FLUFFY MIGHT BE CUTE,YOU MIGHT LOVE FLUFFY

BUT FLUFFY'S NOT GETTINGA LIVER TRANSPLANT.

NO DONOR LIST FOR KITTY CATS.

IT'S NEVER EASYPUTTING A PET TO SLEEP.

THAT'S WHY WE SAY THINGS LIKE

"WE DECIDED TO PUT FLUFFYOUT OF HIS MISERY."

NO, WHAT YOU DECIDED

WAS THAT FLUFFY'S COMPANYISN'T WORTH $500.

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

THE VET INSTRUCTED METO MAKE SURE

THAT THE CAT TOOK IT EASYTHE NEXT FEW DAYS.

( laughter )

I GUESS THAT MEANS

HIS USUAL 20 HOURSOF SLEEP PER DAY

WOULDN'T PROMOTETHE HEALING PROCESS.

IF THE CAT TAKES IT ANY EASIER,MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HIM STUFFED.

( laughter )

I WONDER IF DARWINSAW THIS COMING:

CATS WITH GIMPY KNEES.

THE HOUSE CAT HAS EVOLVEDTO THE POINT NOW

WHERE WALKING TO HIS FOOD BOWLIS JUST TOO MUCH OF A HASSLE.

IT'S INCREDIBLE HOW TAMESOME ANIMALS HAVE BECOME.

AT THE ZOOYOU CAN GET IN TROUBLE

FOR FEEDING THE ANIMALS.

APPARENTLY THEY'REON VERY STRICT DIETS.

THEY HAVE TO BE IN TIP-TOP SHAPE

TO MAINTAINTHAT HECTIC ZOO PACE.

( light laughter )

THE SPIRIT HAS BEEN BREDCOMPLETELY OUT OF OTHER ANIMALS.

WHO WOULD BELIEVE THE POODLEDESCENDED FROM THE WOLF?

HOW HAUNTING IS THAT?

PACKS OF WILD POODLESROAMING THE FOREST.

( laughter )

OOH, CALL A RANGER.

( laughter )

WHEN I WAS A KID

WE HAD A BASSET HOUNDNAMED LANCELOT.

GREAT DOG, NOT VERY ACTIVE,THOUGH.

WHEN HE DIED,WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT.

JUST FIGUREDHE WAS REALLY TIRED.

WE TOOK HIM HUNTING ONCE.

IT WAS THE ONLY TIMEMY DAD AND I EVER HUNTED.

WE ASSUMEDTHAT LANCE WOULD HELP US.

WE WERE WRONG.

HE GOT LOST.

WE SPENT THE WHOLEDAY LOOKING FOR HIM.

IT WAS KIND OF LIKE HUNTING.

WE WORE BOOTSAND STALKED AN ANIMAL.

WE JUST DIDN'T KILL ITWHEN WE FOUND IT.

SPANKED IT WITH A NEWSPAPER.

IT'S HARD TO DO THAT WITH DEER--

THEY TEND TO RUN OFF.

I'M OPPOSED TO PRODUCTTESTING ON ANIMALS

ESPECIALLYIN COSMETICS RESEARCH.

( applause, whistling )

WHAT CAN WE POSSIBLYLEARN FROM IT?

SO WHAT IF A DOGLOOKS GOOD IN LIPSTICK?

( laughter )

I WENT TO THE PARKAND FED THE SQUIRRELS.

I ALWAYS MAKE THIS NOISEWHEN I FEED THE SQUIRRELS:

( clicking )

SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE A SQUIRREL.

STILL, THE SQUIRRELSCOME RUNNING

BECAUSE THEY KNOWTHAT'S THE NOISE PEOPLE MAKE

WHEN THEY FEED THE SQUIRRELS.

ONE TIME WHEN I WAS FEEDINGTHE SQUIRRELS

I HAPPENED TO CATCH SIGHTOF TWO RATS

WHO WERE LOOKING ONWITH OBVIOUS ENVY

AND IT HIT ME HOW RESENTFULIT MUST MAKE RATS

KNOWING THAT THEY'REJUST A BUSHY TAIL AWAY

FROM BEING HAND-FED IN THE PARK.

( laughter )

THAT'S WHY I THINK RAT-AND MOUSETRAPS

ARE SUCH CRUEL DEVICES.

I MEAN, IMAGINE WHATMUST BE PASSING THROUGH

THESE POOR ANIMALS' MINDS

WHEN THEY SEETHAT HUNK OF CHEESE

JUST SITTING THEREFOR THEIR TAKING.

THEY MUST BE THINKING:

"FINALLY, AFTER ALL THIS TIME,SOMEONE LOVES US."

IT WOULD BE LIKEPRESENTING SALLY FIELD

WITH AN ACADEMY AWARD

AND THEN JUST AS SHEREACHED OUT TO GRAB IT

CLUBBING HER OVER THE HEAD.

( applause )

IT'S KIND OF EXCITING.

I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO HAVECHILDREN OF MY OWN.

IT SEEMS PARENTS CAN GETBLAMED FOR EVERYTHING NOW.

EVEN WHEN THEIR KIDS AREGROWN UP AND OUT OF THE HOUSE

PARENTS ARE USED AS SCAPEGOATS.

"I'M A LOSER BECAUSEMY FATHER'S AN ALCOHOLIC."

"NO, YOU'RE FATHER'SAN ALCOHOLIC

BECAUSE YOU'RE A LOSER."

( laughter )

I HAVE TREMENDOUS RESPECTFOR PARENTS, I REALLY DO

ESPECIALLY MOTHERS.

I COULD NEVER RAISE A CHILD

TO WHOM I GAVE BIRTH,BECAUSE A NEWBORN

IS ABOUT THE SIZEOF A BASKETBALL

AND IF I HAD TOEXPEL A BASKETBALL

FROM MY BODY VIA A VERYRESTRICTED PASSAGEWAY

I WOULD NEVER WANT TO SEETHAT BASKETBALL AGAIN...

( laughter )

NOT EVEN ON WEEKENDS.

OH, AND BY THE WAY,"DELIVERY" IS THE WRONG WORD

TO DESCRIBETHE CHILDBEARING PROCESS.

DELIVERY IS,"HERE'S YOUR PIZZA."

( laughter )

IT TAKES 30 MINUTES OR LESS.

"EXORCISM" I THINKWOULD BE MORE APT.

( laughter and applause )

PLEASE, GET THE HELLOUT OF MY BODY.

( scattered laughter )

I'M ONLY THANKFULTHAT MEN DON'T GIVE BIRTH

BECAUSE IF WE DID,FOOTBALL SEASON WOULD BE RUINED.

MONTANA'S PREGNANT AGAIN?

( laughter )

MEN NOW ARE EXPECTEDTO BE PRESENT

WHEN THEIR WIVES GIVE BIRTH.

I'M STILL A LITTLE UNCLEAR

AS TO WHAT OUR ROLE ISIN THE DELIVERY ROOM.

I GUESS IT'S KIND OF LIKEWAITING FOR YOUR LUGGAGE

AT BAGGAGE CLAIM--

( laughter )

JUST STAND THERE AND PEERINTO THAT OPENING...

( laughter )

AND THEN WHEN IT ARRIVES,YOU GRAB IT AND GO HOME.

( laughter )

MY MOTHER GAVE BIRTHTHREE TIMES.

I HAVE AN OLDER BROTHERAND A YOUNGER SISTER.

MY SISTER WAS BORN TEN YEARSAFTER I WAS.

SHE WAS AN ACCIDENT.

MY PARENTS CALL HER THEIR"LITTLE BOO-BOO."

( laughter )

WHICH IS SWEET

CONSIDERING THEY CALL METHEIR "GROSS MISHAP."

WHEN HE GOT MARRIED

I WAS THE BEST MANIN HIS WEDDING.

THAT WAS A HUGE PROMOTIONFOR ME.

UP UNTIL THEN I'D BEENBUTTHEAD OR PUKE FACE.

( laughter )

MARRIAGE SCARES ME, BOY.

THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN LIVING WITH SOMEONEAND JUST DATING.

YOU DON'T JUST SEE THE PERSONWHEN SHE'S AT HER BEST.

YOU BEAR WITNESSTO THE ENTIRE PROCESS.

IT CAN BE VERY SOBERING.

( laughter )

IT'S LIKE EATING A HAMBURGER

AFTER YOU'VE WATCHEDTHE COW BEING SLAUGHTERED.

( groaning, laughter )

PROPOSING MARRIAGEWOULD BE UNNERVING.

I WOULDN'T WANT TO BUYAN ENGAGEMENT RING.

I HAVE POOR TASTE IN JEWELRY.

I'D RATHER JUST HANDTHE WOMAN THE MONEY.

HERE, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

( laughter )

NO? HOW MUCH MORE?

( laughter, scattered applause )

I'D ALSO FAVORA SHORT ENGAGEMENT.

SOME COUPLES GET ENGAGEDAND THEN THEY DON'T SET A DATE.

THEY'RE JUST ENGAGED FORAN INDEFINITE PERIOD OF TIME.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

IT'S LIKE GOINGTO THE SUPERMARKET

FILLING UP YOUR GROCERY CARTAND THEN JUST WALKING AROUND.

"CAN I RING THAT UP FOR YOU?"

"NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT...

( laughter )

MAYBE NEXT SUMMER."

( laughter )

THE HONEYMOONIS AN ODD TRADITION.

YOU'VE JUST TAKEN THE VOWS

WHEN YOU RUSH OFFTO SOME HIDEAWAY

WHERE YOU SPENDEVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY

WITH THE VERY PERSON

TO WHOM YOU JUST PLEDGEDYOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

TWO WEEKS APARTWOULD MAKE MORE SENSE.

YOU HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIVESTO GET SICK OF EACH OTHER.

WHY RUSH IT?

SOME COUPLES WAITUNTIL THEY'RE MARRIED

BEFORE THEY CONSUMMATETHEIR RELATIONSHIP.

THAT SOUNDS GOOD,BUT IT'S IMPRACTICAL.

YOUR HONEYMOONIS THE WRONG TIME TO LEARN

THAT YOUR MATE FOR LIFECAN ONLY GET AROUSED

IF YO PUT ON A GRASS SKIRTAND SQUAT ON A COFFEE TABLE.

I'LL TELL YOU, MARRIAGESCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME.

A LOT OF THINGS MEN HAVE TO DO

WHEN WE GET MARRIED

LIKE BUYINGTHAT ENGAGEMENT RING.

YOU JUST DON'T GO OUTAND BUY AN ENGAGEMENT RING.

A MAN IS SUPPOSED TO SPENDAT LEAST TWO MONTHS' SALARY

WHEN HE BUYSAN ENGAGEMENT RING FOR A WOMAN.

YEAH, LIKE I'M GOINGTO BLOW $600 ON SOME...

( laughter )

MY HAR EARNED...

WHAT KIND OF RULE IS THAT?

I'M SURE THERE ARE NO MENINVITED TO THAT MEETING--

JUST WOMEN AND JEWELERS.

THAT'S LIKE SAYINGFOR TWO MONTHS

A MAN IS SUPPOSED TO GO WITHOUTBEING ABLE TO BUY FOOD

WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO PAYHIS RENT OR HIS MORTGAGE

OR MAKE CAR PAYMENTS

OR DO ANYTHING OR BUY ANYTHING.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS?

SO WE CAN GET USED TO THATFEELING OF BEING MISERABLE

FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES?

LIKE TEN YEARS DOWN THE ROADWE'RE GOING

"YEAH, THIS SUCKS BUT IT'SBETTER THAN THAT TWO MONTHS

WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING."

( laughter )

FOR MY NEXT RELATIONSHIP

I WANT TO BE INVOLVEDWITH A WOMAN

WHO JUST LOVES ME FOR MY STUFF--

FOR MY CAR, FOR MY MONEY,FOR MY HOUSE.

TO ME, THAT IS A PERFECT,SIMPLE RELATIONSHIP

BECAUSE WHEN IT'S OVER,YOU BREAK UP

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT SOUL-SEARCHING--

WAS IT ME?WAS IT SOMETHING I DID?

WHY DID SHE LEAVE?I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH STUFF.

I WANT HER BACK,I DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE.

I JUST HAVE TO GET MORE STUFF.

I HATE TO SAY IT-- I DON'TMEAN TO BE A PESSIMIST--

I DON'T CARE IFYOU'RE A MAN OR WOMAN

RELATIONSHIPS ARE DIFFICULT.

I DON'T KNOW IF ANYBODY'SHAPPY IN RELATIONSHIPS.

THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO AREHAPPY IN RELATIONSHIPS

ARE PROBABLY GAY MEN.

THAT'S A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP--

TWO MEN TOGETHERDOING WHAT MEN DO

UNDERSTANDING MEN,THEY'RE HAPPY.

YOU THINK THEY'RE HAPPY?

OF COURSE THEY'RE HAPPY.

WHY DO YOU THINKTHEY CALL THEM GAY?

( laughter )

LET'S FACE IT

THERE'S NO HAPPY ADJECTIVE

FOR BEING A HETEROSEXUAL.

WE'RE JUST HERE, THAT'S IT.

THERE'S NO WAY I COULDPOSSIBLY BE GAY IN MY LIFE

AND IF YOU ARE,HEY, I DON'T CARE.

WHATEVER YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE,MORE POWER TO YOU.

I'M JUST SAYING FOR MEAS A HETEROSEXUAL

THE IDEA OF HAVING SEXWITH A MAN IS SO REPULSIVE

I DON'T KNOW HOWYOU WOMEN CAN DO IT.

( laughter and applause )

SEX WITH A MAN--ARE YOU KIDDING?

I CAN'T EVEN EAT THAT GUMTHAT SQUIRTS IN YOUR MOUTH.

ACROSS THE COUNTRY NOW.

IT'S REALLY UNFAIR THAT MEN

GET TO HAVETHE BIG SAY IN ABORTION.

AFTER ALL, MEN,WE DON'T GET PREGNANT, DO WE?

( cheering )

I THINK THAT MAKESA BIG DIFFERENCE

IN HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ABORTIONIF YOU GET PREGNANT.

I'M NOT SAYING WHETHERABORTION IS RIGHT OR WRONG.

I'M SAYING I'M A MAN,I KNOW MEN.

IF MEN COULD GET PREGNANT

NOT ONLY WOULDABORTIONS BE LEGAL

I THINK McDONALD'SWOULD BE DOING THEM.

( applause )

ABORTION IS IN FRONTOF THE SUPREME COURT.

WE HAVE A NEW JUSTICE,CLARENCE THOMAS.

HE MAY BE A GOOD JUSTICE.

MY BIG PROBLEM WITH HIM

IS THAT WHEN CLARENCEWAS UP FOR CONFIRMATION

THE ADMINISTRATIONWAS GOING AROUND SAYING

THAT HE REFLECTED THE VIEWS

OF AFRICAN AMERICANSACROSS THE COUNTRY

WHICH, GEE, I DON'T THINK SO.

HE'S REPUBLICAN,HE'S CONSERVATIVE

HE'S EPISCOPALIAN.

HE'S MARRIED TO A WHITE WOMAN.

WHY DON'T WE JUST NOMINATEAL JOLSON TO THE COURT?

( laughter and applause )

I'M SORRY, VANILLA ICEIS BLACKER THAN THIS GUY.

( laughter )

( cheering, whistling )

IN MY BOOK

CLARENCE MAKES BRYANT GUMBELLOOK LIKE A MUSLIM.

FORGET ABOUT IT.

( laughter )

SO NOW THAT I'M LIVINGIN LOS ANGELES

I'M ASKED A LOT

"DO YOU WANT TO BE IN MOVIES?

DO YOU WANT TO BEA POSITIVE BLACK ROLE MODEL?"

I SAY I DON'TWANT TO BE IN MOVIES.

THE BLACK GUYALWAYS DIES IN THE MOVIES.

I'D BE THE COP WHO GETS KILLEDIN THE FIRST TWO MINUTES

SO MY PARTNER CAN SPENDTHE NEXT TWO HOURS AVENGING ME.

"I'M GOING TO AVENGE YOU, MAN."

"HEY, WHY DON'T YOUJUST COVER ME

WHEN THEY'RE SHOOTING AT US?"

THE BLACK GUY DOESN'TALWAYS DIE IN THE MOVIES.

I SAW THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE

WHICH IS A VERY GOOD MOVIE.

ERNIE HUDSON, A BLACK GUY--

HE'S IN THAT MOVIEAND THEY DIDN'T KILL HIM.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS VERY NICE.

OH, SURE, THEY MADE HIMRETARDED, BUT...

( laughter )

JUST A COINCIDENCE.

YOU PUT A BLACK GUY IN A MOVIE

WITH TWO BEAUTIFUL WHITE WOMENYOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

THEY MADE HIM A RETARDED, BLIND,GAY EUNUCH WITH NO HANDS

BUT THEY DIDN'T... KILL HIM.

( laughter )

ACTUALLY, WE HAVE A LOTOF POSITIVE BLACK ROLE MODELS

NOW IN MOVIES.

WHOOPI GOLDBERG,A ROLE MODEL OF MINE.

( cheering )

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS,VERY IMPRESSIVE.

NOW THAT WHOOPI'S WONTHIS ACADEMY AWARD

YOU THINK SHE MIGHTGET A PROMOTION ON STAR TREK

FROM BARTENDER TO, SAY,CHIEF CHAMBERMAID?

SHE PLAYSA BARTENDER ON STAR TREK.

ISN'T THAT JUSTA LITTLE DISHEARTENING

TO FIND OUT BY THE 24th CENTURY

AFFIRMATIVE ACTIONSTILL HASN'T KICKED IN?

WHOOPI THE BARTENDER.

LIKE I'M ONE TO TALK.

IF THEY WERE PAYING ME THE KINDOF MONEY THEY'RE PAYING HER

I'D BE PLAYING MOJO,THE INTERGALACTIC JANITOR.

( laughter )

"EXCUSE ME, MR. DIRECTOR--

"DO YOU WANT METO WALK IN THIS SCENE

"OR SHALL I JUST SHUFFLE ALONG?

"JUST MAKE SURETHAT CHECK CLEARS.

THAT'S ALL I'M INTERESTED IN."

NOW THAT WE'VE HADTHESE RIOTS IN LOS ANGELES

A LOT OF WHITE PEOPLE ASK ME--AND, BY THE WAY, WHITE PEOPLE

LOVE ASKING ME QUESTIONSABOUT BEING BLACK

LIKE I'M "MR. EBONY MAGAZINE"OR SOMETHING

LIKE I'M"MR. AFRO-CENTRO INFORMATION"

LIKE AT THE END OF EVERY MONTH

ALL BLACK PEOPLE GETA BLACK PEOPLE NEWSLETTER

WITH ALL THE BLACK PEOPLEINFORMATION IN IT

WE MIGHT POSSIBLY NEED.

SO PEOPLE ASK ME,"JOHN, WE SEE THESE RIOTS.

WHY ARE BLACK PEOPLESO VIOLENT?"

AND I SAY, "VIOLENT? EXCUSE ME."

YOU CAN'T SAYONE GROUP OF PEOPLE

IS MORE VIOLENTTHAN ANYONE ELSE.

I THINK IF I WASGOING TO SAY THAT

YOU COULD SAYWHITE PEOPLE ARE VIOLENT.

ALL THE SERIAL KILLERSIN THE WORLD ARE WHITE.

YOU NEVER SEEBLACK SERIAL KILLERS.

WE GOT GANGSTHAT KILL ONE OR TWO PEOPLE

BUT YOU WHITE PEOPLE

YOU'RE NOT HAPPYTILL YOU GOT 35, 40 BODIES

PILED UP IN YOUR BASEMENT.

AND YOU GET ALL FANCY-SCHMANCY WITH YOUR KILLING.

YOU GOT TO KILL THEM AND WRITEBEATLES LYRICS ON THE WALL

KILL THEM AND EAT THEM--IT'S LIKE A HOBBY FOR YOU GUYS.

AT LEAST OUR GANGS,THEY WEAR COLORS

WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE,WE CAN AVOID THEM.

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

IDENTIFY YOURSERIAL KILLERS FOR US.

( applause )

SOMETHING NICE, SOMETHINGSIMPLE, MAYBE A LITTLE BUTTON:

"I'M CRAZYAND HAVE AN APPETITE."

THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING FOR,THAT'S IT.

( laughter )

WE'RE HEADING TOWARDSTHE MIDDLE OF THE '90s

PEOPLE CAN'T GET ALONG.

I USED TO LIVE IN NEW YORK.

WE HAD A LOT OF RIOTSBETWEEN BLACKS AND JEWS RECENTLY

WHICH REALLY UPSET ME

BECAUSE IF THERE AREANY TWO GROUPS OF PEOPLE

WHO SHOULD BE GETTING ALONG,IT'S BLACKS AND JEWS.

WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON--

JEWS ARE RELIGIOUS,BLACKS ARE RELIGIOUS.

JEWS WERE SLAVES,BLACKS WERE SLAVES.

ALTHOUGH JEWS BUILT THE PYRAMIDS

WHICH SORT OF PUTS THAT PICKINGCOTTON THING INTO PERSPECTIVE.

( laughter )

THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGWE HAVE IN COMMON--

JEWS ARE THE CHOSEN PEOPLE

AND BLACKS ARE USUALLYFIRST-ROUND DRAFT PICKS, SO...

( laughter )

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