January 9, 2014 - Jeff Skoll

  • 01/09/2014

Chris Christie's bridge scandal deepens, Robert Gates's "Duty" has harsh words for Obama, and Jeff Skoll discusses his film company, Participant Media.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORTED, EVERYBODY, THANKYOU FOR JOINING US.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.

IT IS GOOD TO HAVE YOU HERETONIGHT.

OH, LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE.

LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE'SVOICES.

CALLING OUT TO ME.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)IF EVERY --

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)IF EVERY --

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

THANK YOU, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN.

LET'S GET TO THE BIG STORY.

EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT IT,NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR AND

FUTURE FORMER REPUBLICANFRONT-RUNNER CHRIS CHRISTIE

IS EMBROILED IN A SCANDALWITH A SIDE OF IMBROGLIO,

RECENTLY RELEASED E-MAILSREVEAL HIGH LEVEL CHRISTIE

STAFFERS DELIBERATELYSNARLED TRAFFIC LAST

SEPTEMBER ON THE BUSIESTBRIDGE IN THE WORLD, THE

GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE,NAMED OF COURSE, FOR ONE OF

OUR FOUNDING FATHERS, GEORGEW BRIDGE.

PORT AUTHORITY OFFICIALSSHUT DOWN TWO OF THE THREE

ACCESS LANES IN THE TOWN OFFORT LEE, NEW JERSEY,

CLAIMING IT WAS A A TRAFFICSTUDY BUT IN FACT IT WAS

POLITICAL PAYBACK AGAINSTTHE TOWN'S MAYOR WHO REFUSED

TO ENDORSE CHRISTIE'SRE-ELECTION BID.

CRITICS ARE BLASTING THEMOVE AS PETTY AND

UNPRESIDENTIAL.

>> WITHOUT DOES STUFF LIKETHIS.

>> IT CERTAINLY SEEMS PETTY.

>> IT SEEMS TO PETTY, SOPETTY.

>> I DO THINK THAT ALL OFTHAT MAKES HIM LOOK SMALLER.

>> AND THAT IS THE FIRSTTIME ANYONE HAS EVER SAID

THAT ABOUT CHRIS CHRISTIE.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THIS AFTER JUST

LAST MONTH THE GOVERNORINSISTED THE GRIDLOCK WAS

THE RESULT OF A TRAFFICSTUDY AND LAUGHED OFF ANY

ACCUSATIONS.

>> I WORKED THE CONE,ACTUALLY, ON THAT, UNBENOENS

TO EVERYBODY I WAS THE GUYOUT THERE I WAS IN OVERALLS

IN A HAT SO I WAS-- BUT IACTUALLY WAS THE GUY WORKING

THE CONES OUT THERE.

>> YOU REALLY ARE NOTSERIOUS WITH THAT QUESTION.

>> Stephen: YEAH, YOU CANNOTBE SERIOUS WITH THAT IN

RETROSPECT, EXTREMELYSERIOUS QUESTION.

BECAUSE BACK THEN IT WASRIDICULOUS.

ALMOST RIDICULOUS AS THENAME OF THE POLICE OFFICER

WHO ACTUALLY CONED OFF THELANES, CAPTAIN LICORICE.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: I BELIEVE WE

HAVE A PHOTO OF THE CAPTAIN.

(LAUGHTER)AND FOLKS, THERE IS

ABSOLUTELY NO CONNECTIONBETWEEN HIM AND CHRIS

CHRISTIE, THEY HAVE NEVEREVEN BEEN SEEN IN THE SAME

ROOM TOGETHER.

BUT NATION, EVEN CAPTAINLICORICE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO

SAVE THE GOVERNOR FROM NEWREVELATIONS OF DAMNING

E-MAILS.

FOR MORE ON THE E-MAILS WETURN TO THE COLBERT REPORT'S

SENIOR CNN ANCHOR JAKETAPPER, JAKE.

>> THERE IS ONE SENT A FEWWEEKS BEFORE THE LANE

CLOSEURE FROM BRIDGETTE ANNEKELLY, A DEPUTY CHIEF OF

STAFF FOR GOVERNOR CHRISTIETO DAVID WILDSTEIN THE

POLITICAL APPOINTEE AT THEPORT AUTHORITY IN CHARGE OF

THE BRIDGES, BRIDGET ANNEKELLY SAYS TIME FOR SOME

TRAFFIC PROBLEMS IN FORTLEE.

AND DAVID WILDSTEIN RESPONDS,GOT IT.

THE MAYOR OF FORT LEEREACHED OUT TO WILDSTEIN

SAYING HELP, PLEASE, IT ISMADDENING, UNQUOTE.

WILDSTEIN FORWARDED THE PLEATO SOMEONE WHOSE NAME HAS

BEEN REDACTED IN THESEE-MAILS, IN FACT.

IS IT WRONG THAT I AMSMILING, THE PERSON ASKED.

NO, WILDSTEIN REPLIED.

>> Stephen: NO, IT'S NOTWRONG TO BE SMILING, IT'S

WRONG TO HAVE SAVED THE TEXTABOUT YOU SMILING.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: WELL, NATION,

THIS MORNING IN A TRIUMPHANT108 MINUTE SOMEONE ELSE-A-CULPA,

CHRISTIE FACED THESEALLEGATIONS HEAD ON WITH A

PRESS CONFERENCE THAT JAMDTHE AIRWAYS WITH A 32 DENIAL

PILEUP.

>> I WAS BLINDSIDEDYESTERDAY MORNING.

I WAS DONE WITH MY WORKOUTYESTERDAY MORNING--

(LAUGHTER)>> AND I GOT A CALL FROM MY

COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR ATABOUT 8:50, 8:55.

INFORMING ME OF THIS STORYTHAT HAD JUST BROKEN ON THE

WEB SITE.

THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME IKNEW ABOUT THIS.

THIS MORNING I TERMINATEDTHE EMPLOYMENT OF BRIDGEET

KELLY, EFFECTIVEIMMEDIATELY.

I TERMINATED HER EMPLOYMENTBECAUSE SHE LIED TO ME.

>> Stephen: IN RETROSPECT HEPROBABLY SHOULD HAVE

SUSPECTED THIS TRAFFICSCANDAL WAS LINKED TO

BRIDGE-IT KELLY.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: AND IF I WERE

HIM I WOULD KEEP MY EYE ONCOMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR LANE

CLOSURE.

(LAUGHTER)AND FOLKS, I DON'T TRUST HER,

I DO NOT TRUST HER.

AND THIS VIOLATION WAS HARDGIVEN HOW

MUCHISTIE-- CHRIS-YEAR CARESFOR HIS STAFF.

>> IT'S BEEN WRITTEN A LOTOVER THE LAST COUPLE DAYS

ABOUT WHAT A TIGHT NIT STAFFI HAVE.

AND HOW CLOSELY EVERYONEWORKS TOGETHER.

AND THAT IS TRUE.

WE'RE A FAMILY.

>> Stephen: YES, AN WHENSOMEONE IN YOUR FAMILY LIES

TO YOU, YOU FIRE THEM.

THAT'S WHAT I DID WHEN MYSIX-YEAR-OLD CLAIMS TO HAVE

BRUSHED HIS TEETH.

DON'T COME TO ME FOR AREFERENCE, JUDDAS.

HIS MOTHER WAS RIGHT, WESHOULD NOT HAVE NAMED HIM

THAT.

BUT THROUGHOUT WHATHISTORIANS WILL NOW CALL THE

100 YEAR PRESS CONFERENCE,CHRISTIE NEVER LOST SIGHT OF

WHO TRUELY WAS HURT BY THIS,CHRIS CHRISTIE.

>> THE FACT IS RIGHT NOW I'MSADDENED.

THE EMOTION I HAVE BEENDISPLAYING IN PRIVATE IS

SAD.

>> I'M SADDENED.

>> I'M SADDENED.

I'M SAD.

THAT IS THE PREDOMINANTEMOTION I FEEL RIGHT NOW, IS

SADNESS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE STAGESOF GRIEF ARE IN EXACT ORDER.

>> Stephen: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,I THINK I KNOW THIS, I KNOW

THE STAGES OF GRIEF.

IT GOES SADNESS, PRESSCONFERENCE, DENIAL, ANGER,

POLITICAL DEATH.

(LAUGHTER)BUT CHRISTIE--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW,

I'M NOT A DOCTOR, BUTCHRISTIE DOESN'T THINK SO.

BECAUSE THERE STILL COULD BEAN INNOCENT EXPLANATION.

>> THERE STILL MAY HAVE BEENA TRAFFIC STUDY.

>> Stephen: YES, THERE MAYSTILL HAVE BEEN A STRAFK

STUDY.

FOR INSTANCE, WE NOW HAVEAMPLE DATA SUGGESTING THAT

CUTTING DOWN LANES ON THEBUSIEST BRIDGE IN THE WORLD

TO PUNISH POLITICAL RIVALSCAN COME BACK TO BITE YOU IN

THE ASS.

LEV LAUGH AND EVEN IF, EVENIF IT WASN'T A TRAFFIC STUDY,

FOLKS T DOESN'T HAVE TO BEDOOM FORCHRISTIE.

BECAUSE I AGREE WITH CNNPANELIST AND LENSCRAFTER

CATALOG MODEL SE CUPP.

>> LOOK, I THINK IF YOU AREIN NOT NEW JERSEY OR NOT

D.C. YOU, YOU LOOK AT THISSTORY WHICH IS ACTUALLY

PRETTY COMPLIMENTED AND YOUTHINK HE WHO DID WHAT TO

WHOM, WHEN, WHERE, WHAT?

WHAT?

>> Stephen: WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT?

LEV LAUGH I MEAN SHE'SRIGHT.

AMERICANS CAN'T UNDERSTANDCOMPLICATED ABSTRACT

CONCEPTS LIKE REVENGE ANDTRAFFIC.

NOW-- (LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: NOW SOME PEOPLESAY THE WHOLE SAGA PLAYS

INTO THE NARRATIVE THATCHRISTIE IS A BULLY.

BUT ON DAY FOUR OF TODAY'SPRESS CONFERENCE HE LAID

THAT MYTH TO REST.

>> I AM NOT A BULLY.

>> Stephen: IT'S SETTLED.

(LAUGHTER)OKAY, BOOM, BOOM.

FOR THOSE OF YOU OUT THEREKEEPING SCORE, CHRISTIE'S

NOT A BULLY.

NIXON IS NOT A CROOK ANDTHIS IS NOT A PIPE.

BOTTOM LINE, BOTTOM LINE, NOONE CAN DEFINITIVELY PROVE

THE ORIGINAL ORDER CAME FROMCHRIS CHRISTIE.

BUT I WOULD LIKE TO GO ONTHE RECORD AS SAYING GOD, I

HOPE IT DID.

BECAUSE A YEAR AGO WHEN ISAW HIM PALLING AROUND WITH

BARACK OBAMA AFTER HURRICANESANDY, I WAS WORRIED HE WAS

ONE OF THOSE FAKECONSERVATIVES WHO SECRETLY

BELIEVES THAT THE GOVERNMENTCAN DO THINGS.

BUT NOW I REALIZE HE'S THEKIND OF LEADER I CAN GET

BEHIND.

THE KIND WHO SAYS IT'S MYWAY OR I SHUT DOWN YOUR

HIGHWAY.

CHRISTIE-- IS A TRUECONSERVATIVE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: HE IS COMMITTED

TO PROVING THE CORECONSERVATIVE VALUE THAT

GOVERNMENT IS THE PROBLEMEVEN IF HE HAS TO CREATE

THOSE PROBLEMS HIMSELF.

I CAN ALREADY SEE HIS 2016BUMPER STICKER, CHRISTIE,

BRINGING AMERICA TOGETHER ORI WILL [BLEEP] YOU OVER.

BEST OF ALL, BEST OF ALL,HIS SCHEME WILL MAKE

SURE-- HIS TEAM WILL MAKESURE YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME

READ THOSE BUMPER STICKERS.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY, FOLKS, I GOT TO

TELL YOU, TRUTH BE TOLD, THETHING THAT REALLY HAMMERS MY

BANANA ABOUT THIS WHOLECHRISTIE FLAP IS THAT IT'S

ALL JUST A DISTRACTION FROMTHE REAL SCANDAL THAT BARACK

OBAMA IS A FAILURE.

THE FACTS DON'T LIE.

AND NOW AT LONG LAST THOSEFACTS ARE BACKED UP BY SOME

INFORMATION.

IT'S ALL INFORMER DEFENSESECRETARY ROBERT GATES NEW

MEMOIR.

>> THE BOOK IS CALLEDCOMPUTEY.

>> DOUBTY.

>> EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUTDUTY.

>> Stephen: YES, DUTY IS ONEVERYONE'S LIPS.

AND THE BOOK ISN'T EVEN OUTYET.

NEXT WEEK IS WHEN THEDOESN'TY DROPS BUT A LITTLE

BIT OF DUTY HAS ALREADYLEAKED OUT AND FOR SUCH A

SMALL PIECE OF DOUBTY IT'SRAISING QUITE A STINK.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

JIM.

>> THE FORMER DEFENSESECRETARY HAS SCATHING

CRITICISM OF THE COMMANDERIN CHIEF.

ROBERT GATES IS HARSHLYQUESTIONING PRESIDENT

OBAMA'S LEADERSHIP ANDCOMMITMENT TO THE

AFGHANISTAN WAR FROM THESTART OF THE SURGE HE

ORDERED.

>> THE FORMER DEFENSESECRETARY DESCRIBES

PRESIDENT OBAMA AS DESPERATETO ABANDON THE WAR EFFORT

WRITING, QUOTE, THEPRESIDENT DOESN'T TRUST HIS

COMMANDER.

CAN'T STAND KARZAI, DOESN'TBELIEVE IN HIS OWN STRATEGY

AND DOESN'T CONSIDER THE WARTO BE HIS.

FOR HIM IT'S ALL ABOUTGETTING OUT.

>> Stephen: DOESN'T CONSIDERTHE WAR TO BE HIS, OH.

PRESIDENT BUSH'S HOUSE, HISPLANE, HIS HELICOPTER, HAPPY

TO TAKE THOSE.

BUT HE WANTED TO THROW AWAYBUSH'S WAR THE SAME WAY HE

TOSSED OUT HIS OVAL OFFICEHAMBURGER PHONE.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: HOW HE LOVED

TELLING WORLD LEADERS HE WASJUST CALLING TO KETCHUP.

FOLKS, THIS DUTY IS SOEXPLOSIVE, BUT THIS ISN'T

SOME HIT JOB.

>> THROUGH THE BOOK WILL AREPOSITIVE REFERENCES TO OBAMA,

BALANCED BY A SERIOUSCRITICISM.

AND THE POSITIVE REFERENCESGIVE THE CRITICISMS, I THINK,

EVEN MORE OOMPH.

>> Stephen: EVEN MORE OOMPHAND THAT IS SOME INCISIVE

ANALYSIS FROM RUSH WHICH ISSURPRISING BECAUSE THE

MACHINE'S GOT [BLEEP] FORBRAINS.

AND REMEMBER, REMEMBER,REMEMBER FOLKS, PLEASE,

REMEMBER THAT CRITICISM GOTOOMPH BECAUSE I SAID

SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUTLIMB FIRST.

AND IT ONLY GETS WORSE.

SECRETARY GATES RIGHTS THATHE CAME TO THE PRESIDENT'S

AFGHANISTAN STRATEGY IBELIEVE OBAMA WAS RIGHT IN

HIS DECISIONS BUT I MYSELF,OUR COMMANDERS AND OUR

TROOPS HAD EXPECTED MORECOMMITMENT TO THE CAUSE AND

MORE PASSION FOR IT FROMHIM.

YES, OBAMA MADE THE RIGHTDECISIONS BUT HE FAKED HIS

WAR-GASM.

SECRETARY GATES, SECRETARYGATES MUCH PREFERRED

PRESIDENT BUSH WHO HAD NOSECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT IRAQ

INCLUDING OUR DECISION TOINVADE.

NO SECOND THOUGHTS.

I'M PRETTY SURE HE DIDN'THAVE FIRST THOUGHTS.

(LAUGHTER)THAT'S CALLED LEADERSHIP.

BOTTOM LINE.

(APPLAUSE)BOTTOM LINE, THIS BOOK IS A

SCATHING PORTRAIT OF OURSO-CALLED COMMANDER IN

CHIEF.

A PRESIDENT WHO OPPOSES OURINVOLVEMENT IN AFGHANISTAN.

AND THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TODESCRIBE PEOPLE WITH THAT

ATTITUDE.

82% OF AMERICANS WE'LL BERIGHT BACK.

CHOOERS PLAUS

>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY,MY GUEST TONIGHT AS A FILM

PRODUCER WHO IS GIVINGAWAY-- I ASSUME HE PROUD "47

RONIN".

PLEASE WELCOME JEFF SKOLL.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BOOM.

SO NICE TO MEET YOU, THANKSSO MUCH FOR COMING ON.

>> THANK YOU SOME OF.

>> FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THEREWHO MAY NOT KNOW WHO ARE YOU,

AND PLEASE FORGIVE THEMLERKTS'S GET YOUR CD OUT

THERE.

>> RIGHT.

>> OKAY, YOU WERE-- INTERNETENTREPRENEUR, PHILANTHROPIST

AND ARE YOU ALSO FOUNDER ANDCHAIRMAN OF PARTICIPANT

MEDIA.

>> THAT IS CORRECT.

>> Stephen: SO WHAT DO YOUWANT TO DO WITH PARTICIPANT

MEDIA.

>> SO PARTICIPANTS IS SORTOF A DREAM I HAD AS A KID TO

TELL STORIES THAT WITH MAKEA DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.

AND I THOUGHT I WOULD DOTHAT BY BEING A WRITER.

BUT PARTICIPANT IS NOW AFULL-FLEDGED MOVIE AND TV

STUDIO.

>> Stephen: A LOT OF THESEMOVIES, YOU KNOW, YOU

CREATED A PLACE FOR, YOUKNOW, LIKE FILMS AND

DOCUMENTARIES THAT HAVE SORTOF A LIBERAL AGENDA.

THOSE ARE-- THERE'S A PLACEFOR THAT ALREADY.

IT'S CALLED HOLLYWOOD.

>> HOLLYWOOD, YES, YES,THERE IS, INDEED,.

>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUTSOME OF THESE FILMS.

THEY HAVE BEEN PRETTY BIGFILMS, WE HAVE SYRIANA IS

YOURS, THE HELP, WAITING FORSUPERMAN, CHARLIE-- ROAR,

LINCOLN AND AN INCONVENIENTTRUTH.

>> RIGHT.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: AMONG OTHERS.

NOW YOU MADE 3.8 BILLION ASONE OF THE FIRST EMPLOYEES

AS eBAY, ALL RIGHT.

WHY WOULD YOU GO DO THISWITH IT, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE

A YACHT AND -->> RIGHT, NOW THAT WOULD BE

A REASONABLE THING AND A LOTOF FRIENDS THAT I HAVE KNOWN

OVER THE YEARS HAVE DONEJUST THAT.

>> Stephen: RIGHT.

IT'S ONLY A SLIGHTLY QUICKERWAY TO LOSE YOUR MONEY THAN

MAKING DOCUMENTARIES.

>> RIGHT, EXCEPT WITHDOCUMENTARIES YOU DO IT A

LITTLE BIT AT A TIME.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, BUTDO YOU THINK THESE FILMS ARE

LIBERAL?

BECAUSE I THINK THEY'RELIBERAL.

>> I WOULD LIKE TO THINKTHAT WE'RE WEREN'TING

CONVERSATIONS ABOUTIMPORTANT ISSUES WHETHER

IT'S NUCLEAR WEAPONS OR FOODINSECURITY.

>> Stephen: PRO OR CONNUCLEAR WEAPONS, BY THE WAY.

>> VERY GOOD QUESTION.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, HOWBAY GOOD ANSWER.

>> WELL, WE TRY TO PRESENTINFORMATION FOR A

CONVERSATION.

AND WE TRY TO LET PEOPLEFIGURE OUT FROM THERE WHERE

THEY WANT TO TAKE IT.

SO FOR EXAMPLE WITH THE FILMWAITING FOR SUPERMAN, WE

TOOK A LOOK AT THE U.S.

EDUCATION SYSTEM WHICH ISBROKEN.

AND WE PRESENTED THE SYSTEMAS A WHOLE.

AND WE WORKED WITH A LOT OFEXPERTS AND ADVISORS AND

THEN LEFT IT UP TO THEAUDIENCE TO TRY TO FIGURE

OUT WHAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE.

WHY IS OUR SYSTEM NOTWORKING QUITE THE WAY IT

SHOULD BE.

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVERWORRIED THAT PERHAPS MOVIES

HAVE TOO MUCH INFLUENCE ONUS BECAUSE YOU'RE A

BILLIONAIRE THAT CAN HELPBANKROLL SOME FILMS.

FOR INSTANCE, YOU HAD A FILMABOUT THE COVE, TELL PEOPLE

WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT.

>> ABSOLUTELY, THANK YOU,YES.

THE COVE WAS A DOCUMENTARYABOUT DOLPHIN HUNTING IN

JAPAN.

AND IT TURNS OUT THAT THEREIS A BIG INDUSTRY OF

CAPTURING DOLPHIN, SELLINGTHEM TO SEA WORLD AND

THEN-- .

>> Stephen: ALSO FOR MEATTOO.

>> AND THEN SELLING THE RESTFOR MEAT WHICH IS NOT A GOOD

IDEA BECAUSE DOLPHINS ARE ATTHE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN

AND FULL OF MERCURY.

SO WE DID A FILM CALLED THECOVE.

AND IT GOT SO MUCH ATTENTIONAND SO MANY PETITIONS THAT

THE MEDIA CAMPED OUT INJAPAN WHERE THEY WERE DOING

THE FISHING, AND THE FISHINGBOATS DIDN'T GO OUT.

>> Stephen: SO YOU ACTUALLYSTOPPED IT.

>> FOR THE FIRST TIME WESTOPPED THE DOLPHIN HUNTING.

>> Stephen: SO THAT'S WHAT IAM TALKING ABOUT.

THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKINGABOUT, YOU GOT THEM TO STOP.

>> YES.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: COULDN'T ANOTHER

BILLIONAIRE COME ALONG ANDMAKE A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT HOW

DELICIOUS DOLPHIN MEAT IS?

WHICH I OBVIOUSLY HAVE NOTKNOWLEDGE OF.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: AND THEN ITWOULD START AGAIN, ISN'T IT

JUST SORT OF A WAR BETWEENGUYS WITH MONEY.

>> WELL, WE'VE BEEN LOOKINGFOR A SEQUEL SO MAYBE THAT'S

AN IDEA.

BUT NO, I THINK HONESTLY,PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY GOOD

AND IF YOU GIVE GOOD PEOPLEINFORMATION ABOUT THINGS IN

THE WORLD, THEN THEY'LL TAKEACTION.

AND WITH EVERY ONE OF OURFILMS WE PUT TOGETHER

CAMPAIGNS SO THAT PEOPLE CANGET INVOLVED.

IN PART WE DO THAT THROUGHOUR SITE TAKE PART WHICH IS

OUR ON-LINE SITE FORACTIVISTS.

AND WE HAVE ABOUT 6 MILLIONUSERS AND ABOUT A MILLION

ACTIONS WERE TAKEN LAST YEARSIGNING PETITIONS.

GOING TO THE ORGANIZATIONSAND HELPING OUT.

AND THIS IS GROWING REALLYFAST.

AND SO WHEN YOU TIE TOGETHERTHE INFORMATION OF THE FILM

WITH THE OPPORTUNITY TOACTUALLY DO SOMETHING, AND

THE TRUST THAT GOOD PEOPLEWILL DO GOOD THINGS, GOOD

THINGS HAPPEN.

>> Stephen: WELL, I MEAN,THAT SOUNDS ALL WELL AND

GOOD.

BUT ARE THERE TIMES WHEN YOUJUST-- BECAUSE IT'S A WHIM

LIKE YOU SAY TO YOURSELF,DID YOU CONTAGION, RIGHT.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: DOW SAY TOYOURSELF, YOU KNOW, I'M A

BILLIONAIRE, I WOULD LIKE TOSEE WHAT GWYNETH PALTROW

LOOKS LIKE -->> SO CONTAGION WAS OUR

ANSWER TO THE SWINE FLUWHICH EVERYONE HAD HEARD WAS

GOING TO BE A REALLYTERRIBLE PANDEMIC.

>> Stephen: YES.

>> AND IT TURNED OUT THAT ITWAS BAD BUT IT WASN'T AS BAD

AS IT COULD HAVE BEEN.

AND ALL OF OUR EXPERTS SAYWE'RE OVERDUE FOR A REAL

PANDEMIC.

AND WE SAID WELL, LET'S SHOWWHAT A REAL PANDEMIC LOOKS

LIKE SO THAT WHEN SOMETHINGLIKE THIS HAPPENS, WE'RE NOT

UNDERPREPARED.

AND SO AT THE TIME THERE WASA BIG PUSH, ESPECIALLY BY

THE TEA PARTY FOLKS TO CUTFUNDING TO THE CDC.

AND WE HAD SCREENING OFCONTAGION ON THE HILL AND

AFTER SEEING THE SCREENING,THE TEA PARTY WITHDREW THEIR

OBJECTIONS AND THE CDC GOTITS FUNDING.

>> Stephen: WOW.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: OKAY.

LAST QUESTION AND I HAVE TOASK THIS OF ALL MY GUESTS,

CAN I HAVE A BILLIONDOLLARS?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

YOU HAD YOUR PAC WHICH IBELIEVE HAS ALREADY

CONTRIBUTED A BILLION-- .

>> Stephen: DID YOU GIVEMONEY TO THE COLBERT SUPER

PAC.

>> OF COURSE I DID.

>> Stephen: THEN --.

>> I'M A BIG FAN, AS I SAID.

>> Stephen: I AM THE ONLYPERSON WHO KNOWS WHERE THAT

CASH ENDED UP AND I WANT TOTHANK YOU.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> Stephen: JEFF SKOLL,

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,NATION, NOW FOLKS, BEFORE WE

GO, JUST A QUICK PROGRAMNOTE, I WON SOMETHING, JIMMY.

>> STEPHEN COLBERT,EDPEOPLE'S CHOICE FOR FAVORITE

LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST.

CON GREATLATIONS, STEPHEN.

WHOOO!

WHOOO!

>> Stephen: THANKS.

THANKS, TINA AND AMY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I AM THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE FORFAVORITE LATE NIGHT HOST.

AND AS A PEOPLE MYSELF, ICOULDN'T CHOOSE ME MORE.

OF COURSE I WASN'T THERE TOACCEPT MY PEOPLE'S CHOICE

AWARD SO I DO TO THE HAVETHE COVETED CRYSTAL VAGINA

YET BUT I HAVE THE NEXT BESTTHING, THIS HIGH SCHOOL

ANATOMICAL MODEL OF AUTERUS.

AND FOLKS, I WANT TO THANKALL THE HARDWORKING TWITTER-BOTS

THAT OUTVOTED JIMMY FALLON'STWITTER-BOTTS.

I'M SORRY, JIMMY, I'M SORRY,JIMMY, I GUESS THAT'S WHY

THEY'RE CANCELLING YOUR SHOWIN FEBRUARY.

BUT I'M SURE YOU'LL FINDSOMETHING BY MARCH.

AND FINALLY, FOLKS, BECAUSEYOU CHOSE ME, I WANT TO

THANK ALL THE PEOPLE OUTTHERE.

AND I MEAN ALL OF THEMSTARTING WITH AARON A

AARDVARK, THANK YOU.

AARON A AARDVARK, JR., YOUARE THE BEST.

AARON B AARDVARKENBERG, WECOULD NOT HAVE DONE IT

WITHOUT YOU, GOOD ANTONONAARDVARK LOPEZ GARCIA