February 11, 2016 - Online Dating & Internet Trolls

  • 02/11/2016

Grace Parra examines online dating preferences, and Larry discusses Internet trolling with Alexis Ohanian, Grace Parra and Ricky Velez.

Yes! Thank you very much!

Oh, you're so kind!

-Thank you!-(audience chanting)

So kind. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Thank you.Please, have a seat.

Welcome to The Nightly Show.

You're so kind, man, and...

man, I had a rough day. I...

This is true.I'm not making this up.

I had to fight off a thousandduck-size horses today.

(laughter)

A thousand.

I thought it was only goingto be 500, but no...

(laughter)

We all took acidbefore the show.

You guys have no idea at home.That's what we do.

That's how we do itbefore our show starts.

But we have a great showfor you tonight.

Reddit founder Alexis Ohanianis joining us

-on the panel tonight.-(cheers and applause)

Very excited about that.Very excited.

Well, there's a lot of thingshappening

in the world today, you guys,but we told you

we would keep our eyes on thewater crisis in Flint, Michigan,

so let's check in withThe Larry People vs. Flint.

(water dripping)

I have no ideawhat that last thing is.

Now new details show Michigangovernor Rick Snyder's office

was aware ofa Legionnaires' disease outbreak

back in March and did nothing.

(audience groaning)

Yup. It's a move that Voldemortreportedly called "a bit much."

(laughter)

But Governor Snyderis now serious

about dealing with the problem.

Well, his image problem.

The governor has hiredtwo public relation firms

to help him behind the scenes

to project just the right imageduring this crisis.

(audience groaningand booing)

Man, it takes a special asshole

to look at a crisis like thisand think,

"You know, the real crisis hereis with my brand."

(laughter)

So a bunch of citizenstried to get a petition going

to recall Governor Snyder

for his handlingof the water crisis,

but wait till you hearwhy it failed.

WOMAN:Most of the ten petitions,

many relatedto the water crisis,

were tossed out because ofspelling or grammatical errors.

(laughter and groaning)

Hold on. The water is filledwith poisonous particles,

and you're concernedabout dangling participles?

(laughter)

Uh, "for crimesagainst humanity,

"knowingly poisoningthe people of Flint,

"the citizens demandthe immediate resignation

of the governor,who we must hold responsible."

"Who?"

(laughter)

I believe, in this case,it should be "whom."

-(laughter)-The murderer stays!

(groans)

-(cheers and applause)-They tore it up.

Unbelievable! Ugh!

So since it seems like votersaren't able

to punish him for the watercrisis,

they're now tryingto recall Snyder

for his handlingof school reform.

You know, the same way

the authorities couldn'tget O.J. for murder,

so they got him for stupidlystealing his own (bleep).

(laughter and groaning)

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That comparison's not fairto O.J. I apologize.

(laughter)

He's only responsiblefor two deaths. Bam!

-(audience groaning)-Bam!

-Burn!-(laughter)

So, they need nearly800,000 signatures

in a 60-day periodto get the recall election.

So Michiganders,sign this petition.

I don't care if you livein Ann Arbor or Kalamazoo,

which apparently, is a city inMichigan and not, as I thought,

a mythical landwhere kazoos are born.

-I did not know that.I did not know that. -(laughter)

-Did not know that!-(laughter)

Okay.

I didn't.

If Governor Snyder'snot gonna be punished,

will anyone be held accountable?

Yes! Emphasis on the "one."

MAN: The governor says puttingthe well-being of Michiganders

needs to be top priorityand that led

to the firing of the formerstate supervisor of DEQ.

Hold on a second.

Nearly two years of negligence,

and the only punishment isthat one lady is sent packing?

Call me crazy, but I think

poisoning children should havesome higher stakes

than an episodeof The Bachelor.

(audience groaning)

-You would think.-(applause and cheering)

(groaning)

All right.

Meanwhile, the problemisn't getting any better.

WOMAN: Adding insult to injuryin Flint, Michigan,

the city officialsare urging people

to boil their filtered waterfollowing a water main break.

-Oh, Lord.-(audience groaning)

Filter the water, then boil it?

Whoever thought the recipefor water would be so complex?

(laughter)

Actually, I thought that.

Um, and you can findthat water recipe

and many more in my best-sellingcookbook, H-2-Whoa.

-(laughter) -Larry Wilmore's Dazzling Water Recipes.

My water flambé is amazing!

And zero calories, ladies.

Anyhow, this whole situationis just so absurd.

To learn more about thesecorroding iron pipes in Flint,

let's talkto a couple of actual plumbers

who have been workingon the pipes in Flint.

So please welcometo the show Mario and Luigi.

(cheers and applause)

(upbeat whimsical music plays)

It's just-a me, Larry. Mario!

Uh, oh, hi, Mario.Um, where's Luigi?

I told him,"You stay out of those pipes!"

But he don't listen.

He's always looking fora shortcut to Princess Peach-a.

Oh, my God, are you saying...?

He's dead, Larry.Dead. Very dead.

Yes, these pipes here in Flint--they're super, super toxic.

Oh, my God!That's horrible.

But Luigi can just regenerate

at the beginningof the level, right?

No, not this time, Larry.

Legionnaires' diseaseis bad, okay?

88 cases in Flint.

So far, 11 dead,including my brother Luigi.

This is not a game!

(audience sighing)

Well, it's kind of a game,what you're...

I've seen man-eating plants,Larry.

I've see ghosts in the pipes.

This is no picnic.

But I've never seen anythinglike the pipes in Flint, Larry.

-(audience laughing, groaning)-I agree, Mario.

-I mean, this is justan awful situation. -Yes.

Yes, you can't jump overLegionnaires' disease, Larry.

-(audience groaning)-WILMORE: No. -You know?

At leastyou can see a fireball.

That's true. And to think

the governor doesn't even wantto spend $55 million

to fix the pipes.

He wantsto try something cheaper.

-It's unbelievable, Larry!-WILMORE: Yeah.

Governor Snyder makes Wario looklike a nice guy.

And Wario triedto kill me a thousand times.

-Oh, wait. Some coins!-(beeping)

Hmm. Aah!I will never get enough money

to get on a bus out of here.

-WILMORE: Oh.-I should take a shortcut.

WILMORE: Oh, wait, wait, wait!Mario, no, no, no, no, no, no!

You-you don't want to do that.

You want to really be carefulhere, Mario.

Wait! No, no, no!No, no, no! Mario! Mario!

(whimsical music playing)

-Oh, no, Larry! Oh, no!-WILMORE: No. That...

-I'm in the Flint River!It burns! -WILMORE: No! Get out!

-It burns! Oh, Larry!-Get out of that water, Mario!

-It's not safe! It's not safe!-(yelling)

-I need a mushroom!-Mar...

-Somebody get me a mushroom!-Oh, my God. Mario, everybody.

-We'll be right back. Get out,Mario! -(Mario shouting)

-(applause and cheering)-Get out of that water!

Hi, I'm Cam'ron,

keeping Black History 100for The Nightly Show.

We all know about the explorersLewis and Clark,

but did youthey were also accompanied

by a black slave named York?

That's right.

A black dude literally walkedhalfway across America,

mapping the New Worldwith two white guys,

and you've nevereven heard of him.

See, this is whyblack people hate camping.

Happy Black History Month.

Welcome back.

Valentine's Day is coming up,

and some peopleare feeling left out.

Now, online datinghas revolutionized

the way people meet,

but it's also hadsome unintended consequences.

Our own Grace Parrabrings us more.

PARRA: Moving to New York can be lonely, like really lonely.

-The last man who touched me was... my dog. -(bark)

When I decided to try online dating,

I didn't anticipate

how many extremely specific Web sites there were.

When did dating become so segregated?

So I hit the streets to ask New Yorkers

if they have any discriminating dating preferences.

-Now, you're an avidonline dater? -Yes.

Okay, and have you found

that you have certainracial preferences?

No, not at all.

Okay, so,when you go online, then,

-are you just (bleep) freefor all? -It's a free for all.

I mean, I don't haveany preferences.

Whatever color you are,I'm swiping right.

Are you at all inclinedtowards certain races?

-No.-No? -No.

PARRA: It seemed like everyone was willing to bang each other,

but social psychologist Tessa West

had a different perspective.

What's tricky is, people oftenaren't even aware

that they sort of harborthese more deep-down,

under-the-skinracist attitudes.

So you get liberal whitesin New York, for example,

who are pretty much willingto say that they'll date anyone,

but they don't really mean it.

What minorities are mostaffected in the dating realm?

African-American womenand Asian men.

When you guys go on these apps,are there certain races

that you're just goingto say "no" to?

It's bad. I usually say noto Asian guys.

My dad won't pay for the weddingif I marry a black man.

Like, you might... you mightjust want a Labrador retriever,

-and, like, nota golden retriever. -Yeah. Yeah.

I don't, like, dislikegolden retrievers.

I just... I just...

-You just don't wantto (bleep) 'em. -Yeah.

-Have you dated a black women?-I have not.

-Have you actually dateda black man? -No, I haven't.

-No black pene in thatwhite "V"? -No. -(laughter)

Is there a racethat you haven't dated?

Every race besides white,but that's not my choice.

That's just youth andinexperience at this point.

-Youth and inex...-Circumstance.

-I'm a little boy.-But is...

Because it's all about me, I needed to see

if this is something that I could be guilty of as well.

So I sat down with matchmaker Emma Tessler

to get to the heart of the matter.

I tend to think of myselfas someone who's very open

to dating all sort...Well, like all sorts of guys.

I've dated white guys,black guys, Asian guys.

I mention I'm Latina,I'm Mexican,

I've never dated a Hispanic guy.

-Okay. -Never,and I tend not to be...

attracted to Hispanic guys.

-I'm not racist, right?-No, you are. Did you say...

(bleep), Emma.

-That's not the right answer.-Of course you are.

-Why... -Of course, of course,you're a little bit racist.

We're all a little bit racist.Overwhelmingly, my clients,

personally, regardlessof their race,

would preferto date white people.

That's (bleep), man.

-Yeah, it's totally (bleep),yes. -That's (bleep).

Now, you are the creatorof a dating Web site.

-That is correct.-Which is called...

WhereWhitePeopleMeet.com.

So...

Yeah.

Because you feel likewhite people

don't get to meet each otheroften enough or...

-Uh, that's-that's not correct.-Okay, okay.

It's not just for white peopleto meet other white people.

-Anybody can join.-Can I join?

Yeah, I think you'd havea lot of... a lot of hits.

Is that because I cankind of pass as white?

Like, let's be100% real right now.

Um... yeah.

White people--what is it about them

that makes them so appealing?

They tend to justhave more clout,

they have more money,they have more opportunities.

I'll be honest, they have somegreat qualities.

They-they likeartisanal cheeses,

they enjoy a good spin classhere and there.

Because of that theysort of check all the boxes

for what it looks liketo be a high-status person

that you potentially would date.

Is there a little part of you...

a little part of youwondering why

you've been mostlyinclined towards white women?

-Definitely.-Okay.

I don't wantall this Whole Foods,

-matcha tea-drinking business.-No,

you want Nabisco-eatingregular women.

You know, yeah.

Based on statistics,

who would bemost interested in me?

And let me just give yousome of my excellent qualities.

I cook very well.

I love Hanson.

I floss every single day,uh, sometimes twice.

Um, I have terrible eyesight

but I like wearing contacts,so that's fine.

I have huge teeth.

I look great in jewel tones.

I'm extremely closeto my family,

uh, except for one aunt.

Um, my grandparentsare all dead,

so you don't everhave to worry about, like,

weird interactions with them.I'll eat chocolate

every day of my life,um, breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I don't need an alarm. My bodynaturally wakes up at 6:45

every morning 'cause I'm superhyper and it's kind of a curse.

Uh, I can fit into 5 1/2...size 5 1/2 shoes,

that's a big deal.

I can fit into small spacesin general, I'm a tiny lady.

Based on that,who would be interested in me?

Probably Mexican men.

All right, I admit it,

I'm a little racist. But so what?

Paid for by Donald Trump 2016.

Grace Parra, everybody.We'll be right back.

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

Welcome back.I'm here with my panel.

First up, Nightly Show contributor Ricky Velez.

(cheering, applause)

And Nightly Show contributorGrace Parra.

(cheering, applause)

And he's the co-founderof the popular

social news Web site reddit.

Entrepreneur, activistand author of the book

Ask Me Anything, Alexis Ohanian.

(cheers and applause)

And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now

on Twitter @NightlyShowusing #Tonightly.

So, Alexis,I'm so glad you're here,

'cause this an issue I've wantedto talk about for a while

and, uh, beingthe co-founder of reddit--

-which I'm gonna be on nextweek-- we're gonna... -Yes.

For an AMA.We're excited to have you.

I'm very excited about that.

And, uh, but I wanted to dealwith the issue of trolling.

Which... I know a lot of peoplehere have experienced.

And this week even Twittereven launched

a trust and safety councilto show that they're

taking online harassmentmore seriously.

So my question is what is itabout social media

that brings outthe worst in people?

Well, I'll tell you, Larry,it's the same thing

-that brings outthe best in people. -Uh-huh.

Which is the fact thatyou feel uninhibited,

-you feel freeto express yourself. -Yeah.

And believe me,the vast majority of time,

-it's actually really good.-Yeah.

Um, but then sometimes you getfolks who literally have nothing

better to do than tohurl insults via the Internet

-and the safetyof their keyboard. -I mean, I...

I have to disagree. I thinkit's just having the safety

-of not getting punchedin the throat. -Mm-hmm. Yeah...

After saying somewild (bleep) like...

I was on Tyson's Twitter today--Mike Tyson's,

and people calling him a bitch.

Yeah, say thatin the same area code as him.

-Right. Right. -Like...what's wrong with you?

I think it's single-handedlythe anonymity.

Because you can say whateverwhen you're jizzelephant22.

But when you're Bob Littlefield,attorney at law,

-it's a totally differentsituation. -Right.

Although Jizz Elephant, attorneyat law would be awesome.

-Who's to say... -I wouldhire him to handle anything.

Yeah, who's to say Jizz Elephanthasn't worked really hard

-to get that law degree, right?-Correct.

-That is a very good point.-Give him or her some credit.

What do... what do you thinkthey get out of it?

-Oh, God... -I m...-What is the thrill of that?

Who-who is a troll?Like, you...

Picture it in your head.Everybody has the same picture.

It's just that dude that his momtold him to go to bed...

-Mm-hmm.-...and he's just up late, like,

-"Who can I piss off tonight?"Like, that's what they do. -Yes!

-They're just (bleep) people.-They do it, though,

I think you're right,to get a rise out of people.

Like, we were talking about thisbefore, that sometimes

target celebrities, they targetand personalities online

in order to get a riseout of somebody.

So it's like-it's likea power, they want that.

Have you had any special wayof dealing with that on reddit?

We, uh, one of the big thingsthat Steve, my co-founder, and I

did when we came backfull-time last year

was update our content policy,uh, to, in some cases,

explicitly ban some communities.

But then, also, just to betterarticulate why we're gonna

ban people, uh,because we don't want them

to be a part of the platform.

Yeah, and some peopledidn't like that, right?

Some. But I'll tell you,the vast majority...

I mean, we had 230 millionusers last month.

The vast majority of those users

were actuallyreally happy with it.

One of the things I was reallyproud of, um,

was after-after,frankly, too long,

we took a standand clearly articulated

-that revenge porn was no longerallowed. -Oh, yeah,

that's horrible. That'sone of the worst things ever.

That was very,very clear-cut, and frankly,

-something we should have donesooner. -I didn't even think

that was, like, a thingthat was okay at one point.

Like, what... That w...that was on your Web site?

-It... You couldlink to it, yes. -Oh.

Uh, and-and what was so...I think what was

such a good sign,though, is that

immediately after reddit did it,

Twitter and Googlefollowed suit.

Um, this is the sort of thingthat I really think, like,

-shouldn't need...-I love that you have to...

that you have to see an example

-to get rid of revenge porn.-It-it shouldn't need that.

-I agree. -Well, they'regetting revenge porn,

I guess we got to do it, too.

-I-I... No, I totally agree,and-and... -Thank, reddit.

And the... And... Well,and then the question becomes

how do we... You know,this is a new frontier for us.

-Sure, absolutely.-And-and to you point--

we do want to make surethat we're allowing people...

'cause-'cause oftentimessocial media really is used

to punch upwardwhere it does a lot of good.

And it's your name,that's your company.

You guys started that,so you don't want that

-to be a reflection on you.-Yes. Well, I'm not...

And you can see veryclearly when we-we got back

in control of it, um,the changes that we made.

Um, but it's a process,and I think, like, the thing...

And some people... And I'm...But some people feel like...

I feel some people don't feelthey're really communicating.

It's like when you're in Vegas,you know, chips--

those chipsdon't feel like money.

I'm just grateful for placeslike reddit

-because I love food porn.Which is a huge... -(whoop)

I'm a big... a big fan.That was one cheer.

Thank you so much,mom from the Midwest.

-Who also loves pictures ofbiscuits. -A lot of people...

-People take pictures oftheir food all the time. -Yeah.

-People like food porn.-I love it.

-Yeah.-I get off on that.

-Yeah. -But have you everseen revenge food porn?

-That's... that's the good(bleep). -That's the next level.

That sounds very interesting.

When your girl makessomebody else dinner.

That's what that (bleep) is.

-Oh, man. "Ah, revengefood porn!" -That's cold.

-That is cold. -All right.I want to talk about this, too.

-So, we got Valentine's Daycoming up. -Ugh!

So, we have all these datingapps. Do you think these things

fundamentally change the wayrelationships work now,

when you don't meet someonein person

and you're meeting 'emlike that? What do you think?

I think it-it... There arecertainly people for whom

-I think it playsto their strengths, -Uh-huh.

because trying to meet peoplein a bar just doesn't work.

They'd rather meet someone basedon, "Oh, hey, we're both into...

-food porn." -Right.-But I met my girl...

I met my girl at a bar, man.Like, that's...

-That still exists. -It'snot easy for the rest of us,

-Ricky. -Like, why is everybody,like... -Not everybody can go

-to a bar, Ricky.-Yeah. -But this... Okay!

-Not everybody's an alky. -Yougot... you got your dating app,

you got Seamless, you got Uber.

-You don't have to speakto anybody. -Seamless? -Yeah.

-You meet peoplethrough Seamless? -You can.

-You could, actually.The delivery guy. -They deliver

-your food and you go, "Hey.-No, but, like, at this point...

-You want to come in and eat itwith me?" -I do not recommend

-using Seamless for dating.-But that's what... This tech...

-this technology is making itthat you don't even have -Yeah.

-to speak to anybody anymore.-Who do you think these help

more? Do you think they helpwomen more or men more,

-these-these, uh... thesedating things? -They make sex

-more easily accessible. SoI guess whichever gender -Yes.

is as interested in sex. 'Causewomen, by the way, want sex

-just as much as men do.I think... -That's a lie.

-I hope so.-Ricky...

Grace, I'm born and raisedin this city. Every two

to three weeks, a dude jumpson the train and just rips out

his penis. That's what he does,okay? He gets on the train...

he gets on the train, he's like,"You know what, I paid my $2.75.

-It's penis time." Like, that'swhat he does. That's... -Yeah.

What does that have to dowith women wanting sex?

-We want sex. -I'm sorry,Alexis. I have no idea

what happened at the endof this conversation.

Uh, here's the thing, though.

Here's the thing. I'm a Brooklynboy. I know exactly what

you're talking about.You can set your watch to it.

That's a man that wants to takeout his penis on the train!

It's-it's shameful.One of the... Actually, one

of the fundamental problemsdating sites--

let's... within the realm of,like, hetero dating sites-- have

-is guys are so shamelessabout messaging women -Yeah.

that one of the big problemsas a product creator,

-not to geek out too much,is actually mitigating -Yeah.

all the dudes who are justsending messages to everyone

-that they can. Yes. -You justcut and paste 'em, man. -Why?

-Cut and paste. My boys do itall the time. -Yeah.

Just cut and pasteuntil you get something to bite.

-Wh-What's good about these...-Yeah.

-"Until you get somethingto bite"? -Men. -Cut and paste.

At least... at least throwa little emoji in there

-to change it up. You know.-Come on. Stop it!

An eggplant here or there.What... One thing that I think

-is good for women, as faras apps go, some of us -Okay.

are very busy. We don't havea lot of time to go on dates.

We don't have a lot of timeto go get drunk at bars.

So it actually is convenientto go on an app and swipe right

-and swipe left.-"Oh, hey, it's Valentine's Day.

-Well, let's see who we got."-Sure.

Uh, who's it worst...who's it worse for to be alone

-on Valentine's Day,men or women? -Women. -Women.

-Really? Men don't care. -Women.-Oh, yeah. Men don't care.

And I-I hate that women care.I care a little bit,

-and I hate that about myself.-I love that women get so sad,

because that just makes iteasier to go to a bar

-and pick one up.-It's true.

And now you understandthe root of the problem.

-I know! -Yeah.-But it's a little bit true.

-It's the truth! -I think weshould take the whole audience

-to a bar tonightand watch Ricky in action. -Yes!

-(cheering and applause)-Yes? Very good.

All right. We-we won't see youfor a while.

For everybody out there,happy Valentine's Day.

-We'll be right back.-(cheering and applause)

MAN: If you live in the New York City area or are planning

to visit, grab free tickets to The Nightly Show.

Thanks to my panelists,Ricky Velez, Grace Parra,

and Alexis Ohanian.We're almost out of time,

but before we go,I'm gonna keep it 100.

Keep it 100. All right.

Tonight's question'sa little bit different,

because it'sa leap year-themed question

from our friends overon @midnight,

in honorof their upcoming February 29th

Late-Night Showdown. They ask,

"What's something you would doonly once every four years?"

Uh, this is pretty easy.

Not vote for Donald Trump.

-(cheering and applause)-Pretty easy.

-Pretty easy, guys! -All right,all right, yes. -I believe you

-on that one. -You gotto challenge me. I told you

to challenge me!But thanks for watching.

Make sure to check out our ownMike Yard on the @midnight

Late-Night Showdown,as he takes on The Daily Show's

Jordan Klepper and @midnight all-star Ron Funches

on February 29, okay?And you guys can win a chance

to be in-studio for the showby tweeting what you do once

every four years with thehashtag #midnightsweepstakes.

-Good Nightly, everyone!-(whoops)

(cheering and applause)