I, Roommate

  • Season 1, Ep 3
  • 04/06/1999

Bender offers to let Fry move in with him.

( alarm clock ringing )

HEY!

( alarm stops )

FRY, MON, IF YOU'RE GOINGTO BE LIVING IN THE OFFICE,

YOU COULD AT LEASTBE ON TIME FOR WORK.

I'M SORRY.

I WAS UP REALLY LATEPOKING THROUGH PEOPLE'S DESKS.

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE,

I WILL NOW OUTLINETODAY'S 12-POINT AGENDA.

WE'LL BEGIN WITH POINT ONE

DEAN RAISED FORWARD...( clattering )

...CONCERNING OUR PEST PROBLEM.

SOMEBODY'SBEEN LEAVING FOOD AROUND

AND IT'S ATTRACTING OWLS.

AND I, FOR ONE, AM GETTING TIREDOF CLEANING THOSE OWL TRAPS.

( metal snapping )

( high-pitched hoot )

NOW...

AS THIS SHOCKING GRAPHINDICATES

OUR WATER CONSUMPTIONHAS TRIPLED IN THE LAST MONTH.

I NOTICE FRY HAS BEENHERE FOR A MONTH,

SO I'M APPOINTING HIMHEAD OF A COMMITTEE

TO FINDWHO'S RESPONSIBLE.

FRY?

( humming loudly )

( gargling a tune )

AM I CRACKING UPOR IS FRY'SLIVING HERE

STARTING TO GET INTHE WAY OF BUS...?

( air rushing )

( air stops rushing )

WHAT THE HELLARE YOU DOING?

YOU'RE GETTINGA HUGE DOSE OF RADIATION.

AND GREAT LIFT.

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONGIT'S GOING TO TAKE ME

TO RECALIBRATETHESE ENGINES?

HEY, WHEN YOULOOK THIS GOOD

YOU DON'T HAVETO KNOW ANYTHING.

PROFESSOR, WE NEEDTO TALK TO YOU ABOUT FRY.

THAT'S RIGHT!WE WANT SOME MONEY!

WAIT, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT FRY?

HE'S A NICE GUY

BUT WE THINK IT'S ABOUT TIMEHE GOT HIS OWN PLACE.

OH, FUFF.

HE'S NOT CAUSING ANY TROUBLE.

NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND,I'M RATHER BUSY.

I SEEM TO HAVE MISLAIDMY ALIEN MUMMY.

THIS SARCOPHAGUSSHOULD CONTAIN THE REMAINS

OF EMPEROR NIMBALA, WHO RULED

ZUBEN FIVEOVER 29 MILLION YEARS AGO.

Fry:HEY, PROFESSOR,

MMM. GREAT JERKY.

IT'S SO BIG AND EMPTY.

MY ROOMMATE'S GONE,AND ALL HE LEFT BEHIND WAS

AN EYELASHAND THREE SKIN FLAKES.

AW... WHAT'S THE POINT?!

BENDER?

MY GOD,YOU'RE A MESS.

( groaning )

( slurred speech ):LEAVE ME ALONE.

LOOK AT THAT FIVE O'CLOCK RUST.

YOU'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHTNOT DRINKING, HAVEN'T YOU?

HEY... WHAT I DON'T DOIS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

PLEASE, BENDER,HAVE SOME MALT LIQUOR--

IF NOT FOR YOURSELF, THENFOR THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU.

I HATE THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME,AND THEY HATE ME.

OH, NOW, LOOK

IT'S OBVIOUS YOU MISSBEING FRY'S ROOMMATE,

BUT THERE'S GOTTO BE A BETTER WAY

TO DEAL WITH THIS.

LIKE HOW,HAVING MY ANTENNA REMOVED?

WELL... IFTHAT WOULD WORK.

ARE YOU CRAZY?!

THAT'S LITTLE BENDERYOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I CAN'T CUT IT OFF.

YOU'RE NOT A ROBOT OR A MAN,SO YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

WAIT.

I WANT YOUTO LOOK ME IN THE EYE

AND PROMISE YOU WON'TGET BEHIND THE WHEEL

WITHOUT SOME KIND OF ALCOHOLICBEVERAGE IN YOUR HAND.

I PROMISE NOTHING!

( slow, sultry jazz playing )

( groaning )

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