In this episode, the vice presidential debate: I'm impartial, but gosh darn it, I think it was pretty doggone good. Plus, global markets meltdown -- turns out every language contains the word aaaahhhh! Then, my guest is high-strung financial expert Jim Cramer. I hope the first three rows brought ponchos for when his head explodes. Hey, I Am America (And So Can You!) 2009 Desk Calendar, how dare you be available at bookstores everywhere. This is The Colbert Report.