Bender's Big Score Pt. 3

  • Season 0, Ep 3
  • 03/23/2008

A flashback explores Fry's paradox duplicate as Leela finds love.

Look at us,

living like trash-eatingbums in an alley now.

Yes, now.

And on Xmas eve,

the most wonderfulnight of the...

(grunts)Oops.

(sputtered grunting)

(gasps):Santa!

Ah...

the Planet Express crew.

According to my list,

you've all beenvery naughty.(Bender mimicking Santa)

That's it, I don't see howthings could get any worse.

We could sing.

I'd rather kill myself.

Why not do both?

Oh... very well.

(strained grunting)

♪ I may as well jump ♪

♪ Those sleazy naked scammers ♪

♪ Made me look like a chump ♪NUDAR:Nuh!

♪ They robbed me of my dignityand most of my stuff ♪

♪ Lars brought me candy ♪

ALL:♪ Cram it down,and shut the hell up ♪

♪ I can't compete with that ♪

♪ He's Barbados Slim ♪(LaBarbara giggling)

♪ And I'm Jamaican Fat ♪

♪ Who would choosea backwards corpse ♪

♪ With lice in his hair? ♪

♪ Lars says I'm dreamy ♪

ALL:♪ Who the hell cares? ♪

♪ Oh, won't somebodyshoot her, please ♪

♪ And put herout of our misery? ♪

That's my cue.

(panicked screaming)

(guns trilling)

(gasping)

(screams)

(humming)

Oh, my word.

(gunshots)

♪ Lars makes me puke ♪

♪ I bet she'd love me, too,if I was a baldheaded kook ♪

Hey, guess what, guys?

What?

♪ While we werehuddled in fear ♪

♪ Lars popped the question ♪

Congratulations!

Mazel tov!

May stars in heavenbless your love!

♪ I think I'm gonna cry,'cause it's an extra happy ♪

♪ Xmas this year. ♪(Tinny Tim cries out)

Happy day, mon.Good to have you back.

Indeed, but the scammers willsoon sprunje the code again.

We must removethe time tattoo at once,

and as painlessly as possible.

(screaming, zapping)

Hurry! They're coming!

(fizzling, screams continuing)

There, the code is gone.

I saved the space-time continuumand 40% of your rectum.

Yeah!That's all you need.Yeah!

(grunts)

Oh! I sprunje code.

Too late, Nudar.I've wiped Fry's butt clean.

(sniffing)

We'll see about that.

(snorting, snuffling)

Nothing, boss.

We sprunjed his assinside and out.

The only informationwe found was

a hair shapedlike the number six.

Gimme that!

(chews, groans)

Nine. All right,let 'em go.

I guess the time codereally is gone.

Thank God.

The present may stink,

but at least we now can lookforward to a better yesterday.

(harp plays)

I'm sorry, Leela,

but I can't keepliving in the past...

by which I meanthe future.

I'll always love you,

but I've got to move onand find my life's purpose.

...and that's howBungles the monkey

finally found a friend.

I miss Morbo.

And finally tonighton the Late Cute Animal News,

a story that will reallytug your heartstrings,

way more than Bungles,the doll-raping monkey.

It's the tale of lonely Leelu,the little orphan narwhal.

Aw!

Leelu is a rare toothed,female narwhal

who got disorientedand washed up in Atlantic City,

as we all do from time to time.

But without a mother,she's lost the will to eat.

Come on. Take a sip.(moans)

I know howto make things eat.

Maybe this ismy purpose in life.