The Comeback

  • Season 2, Ep 2
  • 09/10/2013

Malloy follows his dream of directing an adult film after he and the rangers learn of Woody's pornographic past. Steve educates Denzel on the Brickleberry ghost.

THE WORLD WAS AT MY FEET.

I EVEN INVENTEDMY OWN SIGNATURE MOVE--

THE REX ROCKET!

[grunts]

- OH, MY GOD!THAT WAS AMAZING!

- I HAD LEGIONS OF FANSWHO ADORED ME.

- COULD YOU MAKE IT OUTTO DUKE?

YOU'RE MY HERO, REX.

I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOUWHEN I GROW UP.

- WHAT ARE YOU, SEVEN?- I'M ONLY SIX.

- SIX INCHES?NOT ENOUGH CABLE, SON.

YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ITIN PORN.

STAY IN SCHOOL.- OHH.

- OH, I WAS ON TOPOF THE WORLD,

BUT I FLEW TOO CLOSETO THE SUN.

[snorts]I BURNED OUT.

COULDN'T DO WHAT I, UH,NEEDED TO DO.

OH, BOY.

I'M--I'M REALLY EMBARRASSEDABOUT THIS, FOLKS.

WELL, ONE MINUTE.OH, BROTHER.

I'M THINKING OF EVERYTHING.SORRY, GUYS.

I KNOW THIS SEEMSUNPROFESSIONAL,

BUT MAYBE YOU GUYSCAN HIT CRAFT SERVICE.

OH, OH,STARTING TO GET A TINGLE.

NO! SHIT! IT'S GONE!COME ON, COME ON!

MY PRESENCE IN PORN FILMS

WAS REDUCED TO NON-SEXUALCHARACTER ROLES,

LIKE THE POOL BOY'S BOSS

AND ONE OF THE STUDENTS NOT KEPT AFTER CLASS.

IT FLUNG ME INTOA DEEP DEPRESSION.

[crying]

[lid pops]

[crying]

[snorts]

HUH?

WHAT ARE ALL YOU PEOPLEDOING IN MY BATHROOM?

[thud]

FORTUNATELY, UNCLE SAMSTRAIGHTENED ME OUT.

- WELL, THIS SUCKS,MALLOY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONEWANTS TO MEET ME.

THERE'S EVEN A LINETO SEE THE FATTIES

FROM FILIPINO FOOT FETISH 5!

♪ [camera shutter clicking]

- THAT WAS A SURPRISINGLYSOLID FILM, DESPITE THE FACT

THAT YOU DIDN'T REALIZEIT WAS A PREQUEL TILL THE END.

- I'M A JOKE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUTALKED ME INTO COMING HERE.

MY LEGACY IS DEAD.- CHEER UP, WOODY.

THESE PORN NERDSARE JUST CHEAP.

AUTOGRAPHS NOWONLY $10.

$1.00 AUTOGRAPHS.

[thud]

OKAY, NO ONE LOVES YOU.- JESUS DOES!

- NOT AFTER HE SAW

THE REXERECTION IV: EASTER [bleep]DAY.

- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,IT IS MY PLEASURE

TO INTRODUCE THE BIGGESTPORN STAR IN THE WORLD,

THE GOD OF ROD,THE MASTER ASS BLASTER,

THE SHOE-IN FOR THIS YEAR'SBONEY AWARD,

DUKE DICK!

[cheers and applause]

- HEY, THOSE ARE MY MOVES!

THAT'S MY NAVAJO CHAP SLAPAND MY INVERTED CLAM!

[gasps]AND THAT'S MY MR. BELVEDERE!

- YO! DUKE DICKIN THE HIT ZONE!

WHAT TIME IS IT?- IT'S TIME TO BUST ASS!

- AND THAT'SMY CATCHPHRASE!

- NOW, WHO WANTS TO SEE DUKEDO HIS FAMOUS MOVE?

THE DUKE ROCKET!

[cheers and applause]

- STOP RIGHT THERE!

- SOMEONE GETTHIS QUEEN OFFSTAGE

BEFORE THE DUKEGETS FILLED WITH RAGE!

- YOU STOLE ALL OF MY MOVES,ASSHOLE!

- ASSHOLE? MY ASSHOLE HAS WONFIVE BONEY AWARDS!

SHOW SOME RESPECT, SON!

- OH, I AIN'T YOUR SON,HOMBRE.

I'M REX [bleep] ERECTION!

- REX ERECTIONWAS MY HERO

UNTIL HE TOLD MEI'D NEVER MAKE IT.

- WHAT THE--

"DEAR DUKE,YOU GOT A SMALL TOOL.

STAY IN SCHOOL.REX."

- WELL, I SHOWED YOU.

NOW I'M ON TOP, AND YOU'REALL WASHED UP, OLD MAN.

- NOT FOR LONG, 'CAUSE YOUKNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?

- I DON'T KNOW.SKYPE WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS?

- NO, I'M GONNACOME OUT OF RETIREMENT,

I'M GONNA MAKE MY OWN MOVIE,I'M GONNA WIN THAT BONEY,

AND THEN I'M GONNA SHOVE IT UPYOUR AWARD-WINNING ASSHOLE!

- YEAH, RIGHT.

WHAT DIRECTOR WOULD TOUCHYOUR WASHED-UP WHITE ASS?

- I WILL.

- DUDE, A HAIRYLITTLE WOODLAND CREATURE

CAN'T DIRECT A MOVIE.

- UH, WHAT ABOUTPETER JACKSON?

- OKAY,I STAND CORRECTED.

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