Muscle I'd Like to Flex
Blake and Ders's world turns upside down when they lose Adam to a super-rich MILF.
- ♪ THAT'S RIGHT, I'M ROLLIN'WITH MY GUILD THREE DEEP ♪
♪ YOU CAN TRY AND CREEPTO THIS WIZARD THUG ♪
♪ BUT YOU'RE GONNA CATCHA MOTHER [...] LIGHTNING SLUG ♪
- ♪ DON'T MAKETHIS WIZARD MAD ♪
♪ DON'T MAKETHIS WIZARD PISSED ♪
♪ I COULD KILL A HILL GIANTWITH A FLICK OF MY WRIST ♪
♪ GO AHEAD, DUDE,GIVE IT A TRY ♪
♪ MOTHER [bleep]WIZARDS CAN'T DIE ♪
- ♪ WHOO
- ♪ KIND OF SURPRISEDONCE IN THE EYES ♪
♪ YOU'RE SO HYPNOTIZED
♪ SAID TO ME,I'LL MAKE YOU CRY ♪
♪ WE WIZARDS NEVER DIE
HOO HA!
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
- CUT! CUT! CUT, CUT.- WHAT?
- WHY ARE YOU RIPPINGYOU SHIRT OFF?
- WHY AREN'T YOU GUYSRIPPING YOU SHIRT OFF?
WE'RE TRYING TO GET PEOPLEEXCITED, RIGHT?
THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEETHE MADNESS
THAT IS MY UPPER TORSO, OKAY?
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?IT'S BEEN LIKE THREE DAYS.
- HAVE YOU GUYSEVER MET SOMEONE
THAT JUST GETS YOUON ALL LEVELS?
MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR SOULSARE BONING EACH OTHER
IN THE SPIRIT WORLD.
- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUTTHAT SUPER-OLD LADY
FROM THE ROOF?
- SHARON IS AS OLDAS MY MOM IS.
AND HER AND MY DADHAVE SEX ON THE REGULAR.
OH, AND, FWI,
I'M IN LOVE.
I DID IT.
SO I'M GONNA BE MOVING OUT.
- OKAY, IT'S NOT NOT "FWI."
IT'S F.Y.I."FOR YOUR INFORMATION."
- [laughing] OKAY, DERS.
I KNOW HOW TO SPELL,ALL RIGHT?
AND IN THE 75 HOURSTHAT I'VE KNOWN SHARON,
SHE'S DONE MORE FOR ME
AND MY BODYBUILDING CAREER...
[whispering]THAN YOU GUYS EVER HAVE.
- DUDE, YOU CAN'TJUST MOVE OUT.
WHAT ABOUT RENT?
- YEAH, WHAT ABOUT, UH,THE WIZARDS?
REN FAIRE?
- YOU GUYS SHOULDCOME OVER SOMETIME.
WE'VE BEEN THINKING OF DOINGSOME MORE ENTERTAINING.
- OH, AND FWI, DERS...
WE'VE GOT A GREAT POOL.
YOU ARE SO DEAD.- BRING IT.
- YOU ARE SO DEAD, DUDE.- OKAY, HOLD THE PHONE.
YOU ARE FULLY TORQUED, BRO.
- WELL, YEAH, I WAS ABOUTTO BONE THAT LADY!
- OHH.- YEAH, OKAY, YES.
BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVETO UNTORQUE YOUR BONE
BEFORE WE CANCONTINUE ANYTHING.
I THINK EVERYBODY KNOWS THATIT'S AN UNWRITTEN RULE:
WARRIORS CANNOT COLLIDEWHILE ERECT.
- FINE.- FINE.
- TAKE FIVE.- CRANK DOWN.
- CRANK IT DOWN.
- I MEAN,IT'S A GREAT BACKYARD.
- YEAN, IT'S PRETTY NICE.
THINKING ABOUT PUTTINGA KOI POND OVER THERE.
- YOU GOT THE ROOM FOR IT.- WATERFALL.
- MIGHT AS WELL.- YEAH.
- AND THE BONER'S DOWN!FIGHT!
- OHH! COME ON!
YEAH, BABY!
YEAH, BABY, WHAT?
- WHOA!- OH, YEAH.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!- CHOKE IT.
- BREAK IT UP!BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP!
- WHAT?- WHAT?
- YOU GUYS BOTHHAVE BONERS NOW.
WHAT IS GOING ON?both: WOW!
- IT'S CONTAGIOUS, DUDE!
YOU'RE TOO FLESHY.PUT ON A SHIRT.
- THIS GUYS SMELLS GREAT.
IT'S LIKE A COCONUT OIL.WHAT IS THAT?
- THANK YOU.IT'S MY TANNING CREAM.
- OH! BONERS ARE DOWN.
- I'M GONNA RUIN YOU, MAN.
- I'M GONNA STRAIGHT DOWHAT I CAME HERE TO DO.
- I'M GONNA STRAIGHT WRECK YOU!
- YOU'RE GONNA DIE AT MY FEET,YOU SMALL-MINDED--
- OKAY, I'VE GOT A BONER.- I'VE GOT ONE TOO.
SOON AS I SAID "MY FEET,"IT WAS LIKE...
- YEAH, ALL THE BLOODJUST SORT OF--
THAT HAPPENED TO ME TOO.THAT'S WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT IT.
- THAT'S COOL.- THIS IS REALLY WEIRD.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?WE'RE NOT GONNA FIGHT RIGHT NOW.
THAT'S OFFICIAL.
I'M TORQUED.YOU'RE TORQUED RIGHT NOW.
BUT I KNOW YOU CAN LEAVE.
YOU CAN LEAVE MY HOUSEAND RESPECT MY WOMAN.
THAT'S WHAT YOU CAN DO.- FINE.
- LEAVE.- GLADLY.
- WELL, I HAVEA LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENT
FOR YOU, SIR, BECAUSEYOU BROKE THE BLOOD OATH,
AND I WANT YOU TO LEAVEOUR WIZARD CREW.
- WHAT? YEAH.LIKE I CARE.
- AND I'M TAKINGTHE BEATS BACK.
- AH, DON'T TAKE THE BEATS.- YEAH.
- NO, DON'T TAKE THE BEATS.
OHH! DON'T TAKE THE BEATS!
I'M SUPER-SADABOUT THE BEATS!
I DON'T CARE, DUDE, BECAUSE IHAVE A BODYBUILDING COMPETITION
ON THE SAME DAY.
AND THAT'SMORE IMPORTANT TO ME
THAN DRESSING UPLIKE A FAIRY WIZARD.
- WOW.- YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN?
IT DID NOT HAVETO GO LIKE THIS.
WE'RE OUT OF HERE.
- YOU'RE SUCH A DUMB IDIOT!
- WOW, OKAY.
I DON'T CARE.
I HOPE THIS GOES AWAY SOON.
YOU INFECTED MEWITH YOUR BONER.
WEIGHING IN AT 240 POUNDS.
WELL, THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT.
UH, ADAM "THE SNAKE"ROBERTS DEMAP!
- UNH!
- ALL RIGHT.- HERE WE GO.
[mid-tempo music playing]
♪
- RAHR!
MM! MM!
MM! MM!MM! MM!
[imitating machine gun fire]
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I STAND CORRECTED.
THE GUY IS A SHOWMAN.
- HIS BODY IS LOOKIN' TIGHT.
- ROOH!
[laughter]
- OKAY, THAT'S...NOT GOOD.
- WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
I'M YOKED!
- DON'T LAUGH AT MY FRIEND.
OKAY?ONLY I LAUGH AT MY FRIEND.
HE'S GOT, LIKE, TEN TIMESMORE OF THE BRAVERY THAN YOU.
I DON'T--I DON'T SEE YOUWITH YOUR SHIRT OFF.
YOU PROBABLY GOTBIG, DARK NIPPLES!
ADAM, YOU KEEP DOINGWHAT YOU'RE DOING, BUD.
NO, NO, NO.THEY'RE LAUGHING OUT OF RESPECT.
IT'S A RESPECT LAUGH!
HOWIE MANDELGETS THEM ALL THE TIME!
- HEY, BIG GUY.
QUIT YOUR CRYIN'.
- WE'RE HERETO MAKE IT BETTER.
YOU'RE GOING BACK OUT THERE.
- [crying] I'M SO SORRYI BAILED ON YOU GUYS.
[whispering] BUT I CAN'TGO BACK OUT THERE.
THEY HATE ME.- IT'S OKAY, MAN.
- YOU GOTTA GOBACK OUT THERE, THOUGH.
WITH US.
- ♪ I'M A WIZARD, BITCH
♪ YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME
♪ 'CAUSE I'M PREDATOR TOO
♪ LIKE DANNY GLOVERON THE G.T. ♪
♪ AND WHEN I RAP, SON
♪ I CAST SPELLS
♪ AND WHEN I'M BANGIN'YO' WENCH ♪
♪ I MAKE IT RAIN LIKE HELLS
- ♪ YOU KNOW WHO IT BE
♪ IT'S THAT CRAZY-ASS MAGE
♪ WALKIN' OUTTHE GOBLIN FORTRESS ♪
♪ WITH MY LOADED 12-GUAGE
♪ I BE FLYIN' ON A DRAGON
♪ YOU BE RIDIN' IN A RENTAL
♪ WHILE YOU DANCEUP IN THE CLUB ♪
♪ I SUMMONBLIZZARD ELEMENTAL ♪
- ♪ STRAIGHT OUT OF MORDORFOR MORE ♪
♪ WIZARDS COME TO YOUR DOOR
♪ DON'T STEP TO US
♪ 'CAUSE WE THE NUMBER ONESORCERERS ♪
♪ [singing indistinctly
♪ NOW WE COASTIN'
- ♪ YEAH
WHOO!- WHOO!
- WHOO!- THANK YOU!
- THANK YOU!THANK YOU!
- THANKS.I APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GUYS.
- WHOO HOO!
