CC Presents: Otis Lee Crenshaw

  • Season 7, Ep 11
  • 04/17/2003

THEY GOT LOW SELF-ESTEEM,

SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WHAT A SEXY, SEXY, SEXY THEATER,

PEOPLE.

WE ARE NOT USED TO PLAYING

THE KIND OF VENUES THAT DON'T

HAVE A DRAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF

THE FLOOR.

AND WHEN I LOOK OUT ON THIS

AUDIENCE, ESPECIALLY AT YOU,

FELLA, HUH, ALL DRESSED UP

IN YOUR BEST EXECUTIVE NECKTIE.

CAME STRAIGHT FROM WORK.

DIDN'T YOU, HUH?

JUST NEED A LITTLE ENTERTAINMENT

IN YOUR LIFE TO OVERCOME ALL

THAT PAPERWORK THAT'S GETTING

YOU SO DOWN, FELLA.

AND I SEE YOU SITTING BESIDE

A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

AND YET, THERE'S SO MUCH

DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU.

MAYBE YOU'RE THINKING A LITTLE

BIT TOO MUCH ABOUT WORK AND

NOT ENOUGH ABOUT LOVE, FELLA.

HUH?

DUDE, YOU GOTTA STRIP OFF THAT

NECK TIE AND LET HER SEE THAT--

SOMEWHAT--

NON HAIRY CHEST UNDERNEATH THAT.

HUH?

WHAT'S YOUR NAME THERE,

BIG FELLA.

MIKE.

NOT A SEXIER NAME ON THE PLANET,

MIKE.

I CAN SEE WHY SHE FELL FOR

A FELLA LIKE YOU.

WHAT KIND OF WORK DO YOU DO,

MIKE?

YOU'RE IN SALES.

YOU'RE A YACHTSMAN.

WHAT DO YOU SELL, MIKE.

COME ON.

LET'S WALK YOU THROUGH YOUR DAY.

LET'S GET UP IN THE MORNING.

WHERE WE GOING, MIKE?

Mike: TO MANHATTAN.

Otis: TO MANHATTAN.

AND WHAT EXACTLY IS IT WE SELL,

MIKE?

Mike: PACKAGING.

Otis: PACKAGING.

OH, OH, MY--

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE

SOMETHING ABOUT PACKAGING,

FELLA.

BECAUSE THE GREATEST PACKAGE

OF ALL IS LOVE, MIKE.

PACKAGE BOY.

AND NO CORRUGATED THREE-COLOR

PROCESS PRINTING TYPE OF PACKAGE

IS EVER GONNA KEEP YOU WARM

AT NIGHT, FELLA.

THAT'S RIGHT, NO STYROFOAM

EVER CRAWLED INTO BED WITH YOU

ON THEM COLD, COLD MANHATTAN

NIGHTS AND CALLED OUT A NAME

THAT A FELLA LIKE YOU NEEDS

TO HEAR SO DESPERATELY.

THEY HAVEN'T INVENTED THAT KIND

OF PACKAGING YET, NO.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A BOX

THAT'S GONNA SNUGGLE UP BESIDE

YOU, WHISPER IN YOUR EAR,

SO SOFTLY CALL IN--

♪ PACKAGING BOY ♪

THAT'S RIGHT, PACKAGE BOY.

'CAUSE THE GREATEST PACKAGE

OF ALL IS LOVE.

AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE THAT

BIG BOX CALLED PASSION,

YOU'VE JUST GOT A LITTLE

BLISTER--

SINGLE COLOR PROCESS CALLED

LONELINESS, FELLA.

STOP ME BEFORE I METAPHOR AGAIN.

BUT IF YOU DON'T PAY MORE

ATTENTION TO HER AND A

LITTLE LESS TO YOUR PACKAGING,

SHE'S GONNA LEAVE YOU FOR

SOMEONE WITH A BIGGER PACKAGE,

BASICALLY, IS WHAT I'M SAYING.

NOW WHEN YOU'RE LYING ON

THE FLOOR WITH NOTHING BUT

A BOTTLE OF JACK DANIEL'S

AND YOUR PACKAGING SCHEMATICS,

YOU'RE GONNA BE LONELY AND THEM

BIG TEARS OF SALTINESS ARE GONNA

ROLL DOWN YOUR CHEEKS,

PACKAGE BOY, AND THEY'RE GONNA

OBLITERATE THE WRITING ON THE

PACKAGES.

AND THEN WHEN SOMEONE GOES

TO BUY DEODORANT, IT'LL SAY

"DEDUCT".

AND THEN THERE WILL BE A HUGE

FIGHT WITHIN THE CORPORATION.

AND YOU'LL END UP FIRED.

AND THEN YOU'LL BE STUCK ON

THE STREETS, PACKAGE BOY.

AND THEN YOU'LL TURN TO ROBBERY

AND CRIME.

AND YOUR SORRY ASS WILL END UP

IN PRISON.

I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN SO MANY

TIMES TO PACKAGING EXECUTIVES.

AND WHEN A SIX FOOT EIGHT

MEXICAN TRANSVESTITE IS

BREATHING DOWN YOUR NECK,

IN THAT COLD, COLD CELL,

THE LAST THING YOU WANNA HEAR

IS A BIG, BIG MAN WHISPERING

IN YOUR EAR IN THE DARK WHILE

YOU'RE IN NOTHING BUT YOUR

SHORTS, CALLING OUT:

♪ PACKAGING BOY ♪

THAT'S RIGHT, PACKAGE BOY.

SO TAKE HER HOME TONIGHT

AND MAKE SWEET, SWEET LOVE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

♪ OH, PACKAGING BOY ♪♪

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

EVERY NIGHT WE DO THAT

PACKAGE BOY SONG.

IT'S NEVER WORKED BEFORE.

FORTUNATELY, TONIGHT A MAN

IN THAT PARTICULAR INDUSTRY,

TO GIVE IT THE CREDIBILITY

IT DESERVES.

SO GOD BLESS YOU, FELLA.

OH, WE COULD AFFORD PACKAGING

AW, WE COULDN'T AFFORD PACKAGING

WHERE I GREW UP.

'CAUSE WE WERE POOR.

I'M NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY.

I'M JUST SAYING WE COULDN'T

AFFORD PACKAGING.

I'D HAVE TO MAKE MY CHRISTMAS

GIFTS.

BUT WE HAD NO PACKAGING.

SO I'D HAVE TO WRAP IT IN LIKE

PAPER AND HANDMADE GIFTS.

MAKE 'EM EVERY YEAR.

WORK ON 'EM FOR MONTHS.

PUT 'EM UNDER THE TREE.

MY MAMA WOULD GO, "OTIS,

OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

OH, WHAT IS IT?

I CAN'T WAIT--

WHAT IS IT?"

"THAT WAS THE LAST-SUPPER

ON ETCH A SKETCH, MAMA."

(LAUGHTER)

BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR.

WHAT I'M SAYING IS WE WERE POOR,

PEOPLE.

I MEAN BLUES SINGERS WOULD

SHOW UP AT OUR HOUSE WHEN

THEY HAD WRITER'S BLOCK.

THAT'S HOW POOR WE WERE.

SALVATION ARMY WOULD SHOW UP

AND SURRENDER, PACKAGE BOY.

WE WERE POOR.

YEAH.

ARE YOU A COUNTRY MUSIC FAN?

(LAUGHTER)

WELL, I DON'T BLAME YOU.

BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS (BLEEP)

AND YOU KNOW IT.

ALL THAT CRAP THAT YOU'VE BEEN

FORCED TO LISTEN TO.

THAT TOP 40 NASHVILLE SACCHARINE

DIABETES INDUCING PANCAKE SYRUPY

BULL (BLEEP) THAT THEY CRANK

OUT.

GARTH BROOKS CAN KISS MY ASS,

AND I DON'T MIND SAYING SO.

AND IT AIN'T REAL COUNTRY.

REAL COUNTRY MUSIC, AS I'M SURE

YOU KNOW, IS LYING ON THE FLOOR

WITH THAT BOTTLE OF

JACK DANIEL'S BY YOUR SIDE

'CAUSE A WOMAN'S GONNA WALK

ACROSS YOUR HEART LIKE A

SAMOAN MAN IN GOLF SHOES.

AND YOU THINK, DAMN, THERE OUGHT

TO BE A WAY TO TAKE ALL THIS

HEARTACHE AND DEPRESSION AND

TURN IT INTO SOME INSTANT CASH.

AND YOU GO DOWN THERE IN

NASHVILLE AND PLAY YOUR SONGS

FOR 'EM AND THEY DON'T WANNA

RECORD 'EM AND THEN YOU HAVE

PROBLEMS WITH THE PACKAGING.

(LAUGHTER)

BECAUSE SOMEBODY'S MADE A

BONE HEADED DECISION BACK IN

MANHATTAN.

AND I HOPE YOU PEOPLE NEVER

HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT.

AND I DON'T CARE IF THESE SONGS

NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF RECORDING

DAY.

AT LEAST THEY'RE HONEST.

♪ WE GO OUT WALKING

♪ JUST US TWO

♪ AIN'T MUCH IN THIS WORLD

♪ I WOULDN'T DO FOR YOU

♪ AND EVERY MAN WITH A KNIFE

♪ SAYS YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE

♪ I WOULDN'T THINK TWICE

♪ I'D STAND MY GROUND

♪ AND I'D GIVE AN INCH

♪ COILED LIKE A SPRING

♪ I WOULDN'T EVEN FLINCH

♪ AND I WOULD

♪ STARE INTO THE EYES

♪ OF THAT SON OF A BITCH

♪ AND THIS IS WHAT I'D SAY

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME

♪ I MIGHT BE CRAZY

♪ BUT I AIN'T RECKLESS

♪ SHE'S GOT A DIAMOND RING

♪ SHE'S GOT A NECKLACE

♪ LOOK IN HER PURSE

♪ SHE'S GOT KEYS TO A LEXUS

♪ ME, I'LL BE ON MY WAY

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME

♪ IT'S A FUNNY OLD WAY

♪ TO MEASURE LOVE

♪ FIND OUT WHERE YOU STAND

♪ WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE

♪ 'CAUSE RIGHT NOW

♪ IT AIN'T YOU

♪ THAT I'M THINKING OF

♪ IT'S ME

♪ IT'S ME

♪ IT'S ME, ME, ME, ME

♪ I LOVE ME

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME

♪ TWO'S COMPANY

♪ BUT THREE'S A CROWD

♪ I WAS THINKING MAYBE

♪ WE SHOULD BREAK UP ANY HOW

♪ I COULD USE

♪ SOME SPACE FROM YOU

♪ ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW

♪ SO HELP YOURSELF, MISTER

♪ I AIN'T NO HERO

♪ HER BANK CARD PIN NUMBER

♪ IS 4-1-3-0

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME

SING, PACKAGE BOY!

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL--

SING!

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME ♪

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

IT'S GOT HIT WRITTEN ALL OVER

IT!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH

NASHVILLE?

Otis Lee Crenshaw: LAST TIME

I WAS IN NEW YORK, THEY HAD

A GUN CLOCK, I GUESS IT'S GONE

NOW.

THAT WAS IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS

IN NEW YORK.

YOU WEREN'T HERE THEN.

NO, THEY USED TO HAVE A CLOCK

RIGHT OVER THERE IN TIMES

SQUARE.

IT WOULD CHANGE EVERY TIME

SOMEONE GOT SHOT WITH A PISTOL.

PEOPLE WOULD GO DOWN THERE

AND SHOOT EACH OTHER JUST

TO WATCH THE CLOCK CHANGE.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT IT AIN'T LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

NOW IT'S ALL NICE, NICE, NICE.

EVERYBODY'S NICE.

PEOPLE SAY, "OH, NEW YORK IS SO

MUCH NICER THAN IT USED TO BE.

LIKE THAT'S AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.

YOU'RE (BLEEP) SUPPOSED TO BE

NICE.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S THE POINT.

AND JERSEY, TOO, MA'AM.

WHERE THE HELL DID THAT

COME FROM?

I GOT NOTHING AGAINST

NEW JERSEY.

ARE YOU UPSET 'CAUSE I DIDN'T

MENTION NEW JERSEY IN MY SHOW?

HOW MUCH GEOGRAPHICAL PRODUCT

PLACEMENT CAN I PUT INTO

A HALF AN HOUR, LADY?

OH, SHE'S JUST LONELY.

USING TELEVISION AS A FORMAT

TO GET ATTENTION.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM IN

NEW JERSEY, MA'AM?

HOBOKEN.

LOVELY TOWN.

(LAUGHTER)

OFTEN CALLED THE TENNESSEE

OF NEW JERSEY, I BELIEVE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WELL, THAT'S THE THING ABOUT

NEW YORK.

EVEN THE CRAZY PEOPLE,

THE LOONIES, THE NUTTERS OUT ON

THE STREET, HALF OF 'EM HAVE

WATCHES.

EVEN IF YOU'RE NUTS IN NEW YORK

CITY YOU STILL GOT A TIME

SCHEDULE YOU HAVE TO STAY TO.

LET'S SEE, 4:30, CONDUCT PIGEON

ORCHESTRA.

(LAUGHTER)

6 PM PEE ON FLORAL CLOCK

IN GARDEN.

BOY.

NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY

FOR ME.

SO LET'S DO A SEXY ONE FOR

THE FOLKS FROM NEW JERSEY.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

♪ TAKE OFF YOUR COAT, BABY ♪

♪ TAKE OFF YOUR BOOT ♪

♪ TAKE OFF YOUR WOOLLY HAT ♪

♪ AND YOUR BORDER SUIT ♪

♪ TAKE OFF YOUR ♪

♪ WHIPS AND STOCKINGS ♪

♪ AND YOUR ONE RUNNIN' SHOE ♪

♪ TAKE OFF YOUR WEDDING DRESS ♪

♪ THE CAMOUFLAGE VEST ♪

♪ AND YOUR ONE SKI GLOVE ♪

♪ BAG LADY ♪

♪ BAG LADY ♪

♪ LET'S MAKE LOVE ♪

♪ I GOT A HALF FRIED CHICKEN ♪

♪ MALT LIQUOR IN A CAN ♪

♪ EVERY WOMAN I EVER LOVED ♪

♪ I JUST DROVE AROUND THE BEND ♪

♪ 'CAUSE LOVE'LL MAKE IT CRAZY ♪

♪ LET'S AVOID THE MIDDLE MAN ♪

♪ I KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE ♪

♪ TONIGHT MY ONLY WISH ♪

♪ IS JUST TO SPEND THE NIGHT ♪

♪ WITH SOMEONE ♪

♪ WHO SPEAKS TOTAL GIBBERISH ♪

♪ SO PUT YOUR HAND IN MINE ♪

♪ UNDERNEATH ♪

♪ THE MOON AND STARS ♪

♪ TOMORROW YOU CAN GO BACK ♪

♪ TO SCREAMING AT CARS ♪

♪ OH, BAG LADY ♪

♪ WELL, SHE GETS ON THE BUS ♪

♪ GETS OFF THE BUS ♪

♪ GETS ON THE BUS ♪

♪ GETS OFF THE BUS ♪

♪ GETS ON THE BUS ♪

♪ GETS OFF THE BUS ♪

♪ GETS ON THE BUS AND THEN ♪

♪ SHE GETS OFF THE BUS ♪

♪ AND ON THE BUS ♪

♪ AND THEN SHE CLIMBS ♪

♪ ATOP THE BUS ♪

♪ IT MIGHT BE CRAZY ♪

♪ IT MIGHT BE STRANGE ♪

♪ BUT YOU HAD ME ♪

♪ AT THE MOMENT SHE SCREAMED ♪

♪ "GOT SOME CHANGE?!" ♪

♪ WE BOTH GOT ONE BIG ISSUE ♪

♪ MINE IS JUST TO KISS YOU ♪

♪ BENEATH THE STARS ABOVE ♪

♪ SO, BAG LADY ♪

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, HOBOKEN.

WHO'S TO TELL WHO'S CRAZY

AND WHO'S NOT?

IT'S ALL RELATIVE.

HOW COME YOU CAN PLAY GUITAR

AND HARMONICA AT THE SAME TIME

LIKE, YOU KNOW, BOB DYLAN

OR NEIL YOUNG?

YOU'RE A GENIUS.

MAKE THAT EXTRA EFFORT TO

STRAP SOME CYMBALS TO YOUR KNEES

AND PEOPLE WILL CROSS THE STREET

TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU.

(LAUGHTER)

SO WHO'S TO SAY...

♪ WE BOTH GOT ONE BIG ISSUE ♪

♪ MINE IS JUST TO KISS YOU ♪

♪ BENEATH THE STARS ABOVE ♪

♪ SO, BAG LADY ♪

♪ LET'S MAKE LOVE ♪♪

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

OH, YEAH!

Otis Lee Crenshaw: PEOPLE ALWAYS

ASK ME WHO WRITES THESE SONGS.

AND I THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO TAKE

THE BLAME FOR THAT.

BUT TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA DO ONE

THAT WE'VE NEVER TRIED BEFORE

BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF A ROMANTIC

EVENING.

AND WE'VE ALL WRITTEN OUR OWN

PARTS.

YOU GOT SOMETHING, RIGHT?

YOU GOT SOMETHING?

Band Member: I THINK YOU'RE

GONNA LIKE IT.

Otis: ALL RIGHT, THIS IS FOR

ALL THE LADIES IN THE AUDIENCE,

AND ALSO ALL THE MUSICIANS.

♪ THE PIANO IS LIKE A WOMAN ♪

♪ SOMETIMES CLASS ♪

♪ IS SOMETIMES GRAND ♪

♪ SHE'S NOT ALWAYS ♪

♪ BLACK AND WHITE ♪

♪ SOMETIMES SHE'S ♪

♪ HARD TO UNDERSTAND ♪

♪ THOUGH THAT MELODY ♪

♪ JUST LINGERS ♪

♪ THE WAY SHE SLIPS ♪

♪ RIGHT THROUGH YOUR FINGERS ♪

♪ OH, THE PIANO'S LIKE A WOMAN ♪

♪ THE PIANO'S LIKE A WOMAN ♪

♪ THE PIANO'S LIKE A WOMAN ♪

Band Member: BEAUTIFUL.

(LAUGHTER)

♪ THE GUITAR IS LIKE A WOMAN ♪

♪ SO ELEGANT YET TASTEFUL ♪

♪ THE WAY SHE SWIRLS ♪

♪ AND HER BODY CURVES ♪

Otis: WHOO!

♪ HER NECK ♪

♪ IS LONG AND GRACEFUL ♪

Otis: NICE.

♪ AND WHEN YOU HOLD HER ♪

♪ LIKE A LOVER ♪

♪ ON A SULTRY MIDNIGHT STROLL ♪

♪ WHOA, WHOA, WHOA ♪

♪ THE GUITAR IS LIKE A WOMAN ♪

♪ IT'S EVEN GOT A HOLE ♪

(LAUGHTER)

Otis: WHOA, WHOA,

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

IT'S GOT A HOLE?

IT'S GOT A HOLE.

THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.

Band Member: I JUST KIND OF

RAN OUT OF IMAGINATION.

(LAUGHTER)

Otis: NO.

Band Member: IT WAS THE BEST

I COULD DO.

Otis: NO.

THAT'S WRONG, YOU WERE SAILING.

NO, IT'S JUST--

Band Member: WELL, WE ONLY HAD

AN HOUR BACK THERE.

Otis: HEY, WHEN I TURN THIS WAY,

I'M DONE TALKING TO YOU.

ALL RIGHT?

(LAUGHTER)

♪ THE DOUBLE BASS ♪

♪ IS LIKE A WOMAN ♪

♪ SHE'S BIG AND FAT ♪

♪ AND SHE LIKES TO BE SLAPPED ♪

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

Otis: NO, FORGET IT.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

I'M SORRY.

THAT IS WRONG.

Band Member: I LIKE THAT ONE.

Otis: DON'T PANDER TO THEM.

NO, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE,

I'D LIKE TO DO A SERIOUS SONG.

GET ON THIS COMEDY MONKEY

GO ROUND THEY GOT ME ON.

AND YOU GO, "SHE'S GOT A HOLE."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

Otis Lee Crenshaw: AHEM.

I GUESS PRISON RAPE HAS ALWAYS

GOTTEN KIND OF A BAD NAME.

AND YOU KNOW--

I'M NOT PROUD OF ANYTHING

THAT HAPPENED IN THERE.

BUT I ALWAYS SAID, IF I WAS

GONNA WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT,

I'D TRY TO MAKE IT ROMANTIC.

AND I WAS MISSING MY BABY WHEN

I WROTE THIS.

IT'S CALLED, "HE ALMOST LOOKS

LIKE YOU."

(LAUGHTER)

♪ THERE'S A FULL MOON SHINING ♪

♪ ON A STAINLESS TOILET BOWL ♪

♪ AN 8 BY 12 ROOM ♪

♪ SHRINKS EVERY TIME ♪

♪ THAT I'VE BEEN UP ROAMING ♪

♪ IT WAS A SNAFU ♪

♪ NOW I'M MISSING YOU ♪

♪ AND HOLED UP IN THIS PAIN ♪

♪ AND THERE'S A TATTOO ♪

♪ ON MY ASS THAT SAYS THAT ♪

♪ 'I BELONG TO HIM' ♪

♪ MY CELLMATE ♪

♪ BEATS ME BLACK AND BLUE ♪

♪ BUT IN THE DARK IT'S TRUE ♪

♪ HE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE YOU ♪

♪ HE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE YOU ♪

♪ IT'S NEVER HELLO ♪

♪ HE JUST KNOCKS ME ♪

♪ TO THE GROUND AND STRIKES ME ♪

♪ BUT WHEN HE GIVES ME JELL-O ♪

♪ IN THE DINING HALL AT NIGHT ♪

♪ I KNOW HE LIKES ME ♪

♪ I'D NEVER KISS HIM ♪

♪ BUT SOMETIMES ♪

♪ I FEEL THE URGE ♪

♪ TO LIE BESIDE HIM ♪

♪ GUESS I WOULD MISS HIM ♪

♪ IF THEY TOOK HIM ♪

♪ DOWN THE HALLWAY ♪

♪ AND THEY FRIED HIM ♪

♪ THOUGH HE BEATS ME ♪

♪ BLACK AND BLUE ♪

♪ IN THE DARK IT'S TRUE ♪

♪ HE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE YOU ♪

♪ HE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE YOU ♪

♪ HE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE YOU ♪

SING IT, YOU CANARIES.

♪ NOW, I JUST MIND MY PLACE ♪

♪ WELL, I DON'T WANT ♪

♪ NO TROUBLE ♪

♪ BUT, GIRL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT YOUR FACE ♪

♪ SAVE FOR ♪

♪ A QUARTER INCH OF STUBBLE ♪

♪ NOW MY HEART'S BROKE ♪

♪ MISSING YOU SO MUCH ♪

♪ IT MAKES ME TREMBLE ♪

♪ IT'S GOD'S JOKE ♪

♪ PUT ME IN A CELL ♪

♪ WITH SOMEONE YOU RESEMBLE ♪

♪ AND HE'S A CREEP ♪

♪ WHEN HE TRIES ♪

♪ TO FORCE HIMSELF ♪

♪ ON ALL THESE FELLOWS ♪

♪ BUT DOWN DEEP ♪

♪ I MUST ADMIT ♪

♪ I GET A LITTLE JEALOUS ♪

♪ WHEN HE SAYS THAT ♪

♪ I'M THE ONE FOR HIM ♪

♪ THEN HE SNEAKS OFF ♪

♪ WITH OTHER MEN ♪

♪ WELL, HE ALMOST ♪

♪ LOOKS LIKE YOU ♪

♪ HE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE YOU ♪

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

HOW ABOUT ONE MORE HAND FOR

MR. ORSON CARSON ON GUITAR.

♪ HE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE YOU ♪

ALVIE RONSON ON THE BASS.

AND IN THE HUDSON THEATER HERE,

YOU FOLKS HAVE BEEN FANTASTIC.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

AND WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN.

(MUSIC ENDS)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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