CC Presents: Greer Barnes

  • 01/11/2009

WHAT, Y'ALL IS GOOD?

- WHAT HAPPENED?- [LAUGHTER]

SO ANYWAY,I WAS IN THE PARK LAST NIGHT

- CHASING THIS WHITE GUY.- [LAUGHTER]

AND HE--

YOU GUYS AREN'T TOO FASTBUT YOU RUN A REALLY LONG TIME.

- WOO!- [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I WOULD HAVEHAD TO HAVE BEEN KENYANTO CATCH THIS CAT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

- RUNNING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM.- [PANTING]

[Jamaican Accent]"WHAT-TYPE-OF-SHOES-ARE-THOSE?

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]- [PANTING]

'CAUSE THESE ROCKSARE HURTING MY FEET."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

- AND I'LL TELL YOU--- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I REALLY DON'T SEETHE DOWNSIDE TO MARIJUANA.DOCTOR'S SAY [BLEEP] LIKE,

[Deep Voice] "WELL,IF YOU SMOKE MARIJUANA

IT'S KNOWN TO CAUSE YOUTO FORGET THINGS."

MAYBE SOME OF US GOTSOME [BLEEP] WE NEED TO FORGET.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"MARIJUANA IS ALSO KNOWNTO INCREASE YOUR APPETITE."

YOU MEAN, THE MUNCHIES?OOOH.

LIKE BROTHERS ARE SMOKINGJOINTS, GETTING THE MUNCHIES

AND GOING OUT TRYINGTO STICK UP KEEBLER ELF HOUSES

- OR SOME [BLEEP].- [LAUGHTER]

SEE A BUNCH OF BROTHERSIN THE PARKS HARASSING TREES.

[Knock, Knock, Knock]"YO, I KNOW YOU IN THERE,

- "LITTLE ELF MAN.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

JUST TELL US WHICH TREEY'ALL MAKE THE COOKIES IN?"

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

"GO CHECK THEM OTHER TREES."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND YOU KNOW HOW THEYCAN JUST RANDOMLY SEARCH YOU?

SO, I HAVE MY KNAPSACK ON.AND I'M HIGH. SO, YOU KNOW,

I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS.AND THIS OFFICER IS LIKE,

"EXCUSE ME, SIR, MAY I SEEYOUR KNAPSACK, PLEASE?"

YOU KNOW WHENEVER I GET NERVOUS,I TRY TO BE FUNNY.

- SOMETIMES, IT DON'T WORK OUT.- [LAUGHTER]

SO, THIS OFFICER IS LIKE,"EXCUSE ME, MAN,CAN I SEE YOUR KNAPSACK."

SO, I TOOK MY KNAPSACK OFFAND I WENT LIKE THIS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

HE DIDN'T LIKE THAT.

[LAUGHTER, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

AND THEN YOU GET ON THE TRAINAND YOU HEAR THAT RIDICULOUS,

"THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE MTA.

"BE ON THE LOOKOUTFOR SUSPICIOUS-LOOKING PACKAGES"AND/OR ACTIVITIES.

"IF YOU SEE SOMETHINGDON'T DO ANYTHING.

TELL SOMEONE,LIKE A POLICE OFFICEROR AN MTA EMPLOYEE."

REALLY...

- AN MTA EMPLOYEE...- [LAUGHTER]

YOU MEAN LIKE THATBROTHER OVER THERE MESSIN'WITH THE TRASH, HIM?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OKAY.

- [TAPPING SOUND] "HEY MAN...- [LAUGHTER]

THERE'S A SUSPICIOUS-LOOKINGPACKAGE OVER THERE."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

- "YEAH, I KNOW, I SAW IT."- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

GO TALK TO THAT LADYIN THE BOOTH.

[Tapping Sound]"HEY, LADY IN THE BOOTH.

THERE'S A SUSPICIOUS-LOOKINGPACKAGE OVER THERE."

- "[Muffled Dialogue]"- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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