In this episode, Southern Methodist University can't decide whether to allow the Bush library. As someone who loves our president and hates books, I don't know where I stand. And I take a look at the world of sports through my beernoculars. Plus, Mike Wallace is here. He's torn the lid off countless stories -- right now he's tearing the lid off a can of smokehouse almonds in my green room. Nation, it's time to grab the bull by the horns. If there are no horns, you're grabbing a cow. Stop it. This is The Colbert Report.