In this episode, the Miss America Pageant is returning to its traditional values, bringing honor and dignity back to the parade of leggy dames. Then, I'll ask evolution expert Ken Miller why he hates the Lord. Plus, I'll ask congressman Steven Rothman if he's from the part of New Jersey that wishes it was New York or the part that wishes it were Philadelphia. I scream, you scream, we all scream for the truth. This is The Colbert Report.