Slut-Shaming

  • Season 2, Ep 10
  • 06/03/2014

Amy prepares to have sex, appears as a contestant on "Who's More Over Their Ex?" and holds a press conference to address allegations of misconduct.

(phone alert)

Yeah, I'd love a noon facialwith David.

Okay, is Lisa P. available?Manicure, pedicure?

No, it has to be Lisa P.

I'll take any appointmentavailable.

Oh, yeah, Lisa M. is fine.

No, I will not see Philippe.

Phillippe hurt me once and Ithink I complained about that.

Kegels?

Hmm...

(speaking Korean)

Disgusting.

What are you guystalking about?

Yeah, hi.

I can't come in today.

Well, then I quit.

Do you wax?

Okay... how's the ass (bleep)reshaping?

Should I get adiamond or a heart?

A four-leaf clover.

I need all the luck I can get.

(bleeps)

Oh, hi! I thoughtyou were coming later.

Do you want to have sex with me?I do.

Ugh...

Oh.

Come on, bitch.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Oh, my God, so you getoff holidays?

(doorbell)

(doorbell)

Their Ex?"

The game show where twocontestants compete to prove

they're doing totally fine.

Let's meet our players,Amy and Julian.

Come on out, guys.

Welcome to the show.No.

Amy, tell us about yourrelationship.

Oh, well, actually Aiden and Iaren't broken up-broken up.

We're just kind of on hiatusbecause he made out with

somebody at a party in front ofme, and I totally overreacted.

I tried to apologize,but it was too late.

I already made thingssuper weird.

Pathetic.Julian.

Oh... story'sa little different.

I was about to proposeto Maggie.

Who wouldn't, right?

And then she, uh, decidedto move to San Francisco.

But it's cool.

I have my own things going on,you know what I mean?

I developed this newsocial networking app.

It's called Klooper.

And you'll be hearingabout it.

No, I won't.Let's play!

Contestants, you will nowreceive a phone call

from your ex.

Whoever holds out the longestwithout picking up plays first.

He looks like Aiden.

Not even remotely.

(phone vibrating)

Remember, all you have to dois nothing.

You just have to havean ounce of dignity.

Hey, are you in town or--(buzzer)

You fool, it was me.

Is she--Is she with you?

No, she's not with me,she's in San Francisco

having the time of her life.

You're with mein this room.

Amy, you've got controlof the board.

Hit that buttonto select your challenge.

"Mutual Friend!"

Okay, Amy,your challenge is

to have a conversationwith a mutual friend of Aiden's

and not ask about him.

Let's bring out your friendMelanie.

Hey, Mel.Hey.

What's up?

Nothing... hung over.Ugh.

What'd you get intolast night?

Oh, popcorn at home.You?

Some party in Greenpoint.

Did you go with Kelly or...

Yeah.

Was Aiden there?(buzzer)

Yeah.Okay, what was hisvibe like?

Like, did he seem sad or--Disappointing.

All right, Julian,you've got control.

Hit that button.

"Change Your Status!"

Okay, Julian, your challengeis simply to change

your onlinerelationship status.

Okay, piece of cake.

No problem.

We're just gonnachange that to

"It's Complicated."(buzzer)

Hear me out.Nothing complicated about it.

You are alone, Julian.Amy, hit that button.

"No Excuses!"All right, Amy,

your challenge is to heara piece of information

that could be used as anexcuse to reach out to your ex

and not act on it.

Oh.Not a problem.

It shouldn't be,but here we are.

"There was a fire four blocksand two avenues away

from Aiden's house yesterday."

The thing with this particularone is that he walks to work

that way sometimes,so I feel like

I should probably juststep out and call him

and make sure he's okay.(buzzer)

Actually, you knowhe's okay because

he was at that partyin Greenpoint.

You really need topull yourself together,

you're embarrassingyourself on television.

All right, it's time to playthe final round.

Contestants, please step intothe nostalgia chamber.

Your challenge isto hear the song

"I Can't Make You Love Me"by Bonnie Raitt

and not cry or eat carrot cake--are you ready?

Uh, can we doa different song?

No.

Play the song.

(muffled song playing)

(buzzer)Julian's crying and eating cake.

Amy, that makes you our winner!Step on out of there!

Congratulations,your prize is Aiden.

You win your ex back, Amy.

Oh!Oh, my God!

Baby, I missed you so much!

(buzzer)

Ooh, sorry, Amy, but that wasyour final test.

You're not over your ex.

What?Tough break.

(mumbling)

Yeah, sorry about that.

Julian, you don't win either.

Nobody wins.There's no way to win this game.

Well, that's all the timewe have.

Tina, if you're watching,give me a call anytime.

(bleep) you, I love you--this is all for you!

A show where four women

get together to talk,

mostly abouttheir mutual friend Janelle.

Let's gab.

(applause)Hi, hi!Oh, they're cute, thank you.

So did everybody have anexciting weekend?

Oh, you know what?I want to start,

because SaturdayI had a day.

What happened?

Well, you know, I was picking upmy new rescue puppy Simon.

(audience)Aww...

Stop.You have to rescue.

There's no other way.On the way home,

ran into guess who?

(imitating fanfare)

Don't tell me.Janelle.

Oh, I knew it.

Janelle, okay?Of course.

So we're saying goodbye, and shekisses me on both cheeks.

Oh, my God.Like, um, I'm sorry,

are you the duchessof Brussels all of a sudden?

Yeah, it's like, uh, USA?

Well, Amy's alreadygot us started,

so I think we shouldjust get right into it.

Our "Big Issues" segment.

Oh, people love this,love it.

Okay, I have a huge issue withJanelle's Facebook page.

Ugh. Who doesn't?Don't we all?

Hashtag "hope this daynever ends"?

Um, that's what days do,Janelle, they end!

And B, uh, we knowhis name's Steve.

Like, you know she justwants to say "fiancé."

So French.I can't.

There's something, like, offabout this dude.

Mm-hmm, something is up,something's up.

I actually reallylike him.

Yeah, but, like...come on.

Oh, yeah, totally.He is weird.

Right!He is weird.

So weird.

Well, we're onto our segmentwhere

we check Janelle'sInstagram.

Oh, my God,this is the best.

Wow, shocker.It's about her cat again.

Like, we get it-- its furmakes it look like

it's wearing a tuxedo--who cares?

Oh, God.

Do you know that that cat,I heard, isn't even a rescue?

Shut up.She bought it, yeah.

No.I knew it.

You know where she got it?

The mall.She got a mall cat.

Oh, my God.That is so disgusting.

Oh, my God, you guys.

I just got a DM from Janelle.

Oh, my God.Should we read it?

Uh, it says, "Heard aboutthe new show, ladies.

I'm sure it's great'cause you guys are the best."

She knows I'm at work.

Like, I'm at work.

Yeah, it's like, we're working.We're working.

All right, you guys, stay withus, 'cause when we come back,

we'll be interviewing Janelle'spersonal trainer,

who she met with once.

(laughing)

At least she went.

Okay, do you want to bea part of this show?

(applause)

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