Tuesday, May 20, 2014

  • 05/20/2014

Ron Funches, Rick Glassman and Brent Morin guess what Lemonheads unveiled on Twitter, list reasons people are #UndateableBecause and create categories for the Webby Awards.

RIPPED FROM TODAY'S INTERNETHEADLINES, IT'S RAPID REFRESH!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: BIG SOCIAL MEDIA DAY

FOR LEMONHEADS, NO, NOT THEBAND, SORRY, I AM TALKING ABOUT

THE LITTLE SWEET AND SOUR CANDYUNVEILED WHAT NEW GIMMICK FOR

THEIR TWITTER ACCOUNT.

>> A.

A BIPOLAR FEED WHERE HALF ITSTWEETS ARE SWEET AND HALF

DISTURBINGLY SOUR.

>> B, A NIGHTMARISH LIVINGMASCOT WITH A LUMPY MISSHAPEN

LEMON FOR AHEAD.

>> C, TWEETING AT CELEBS ANDINVITING THEM TO A LEMON PARTY.

WHICH YOU SHOULD NEVER GOOGLE.DO NOT GOOGLE THAT.

RICK.

>> I AM GOING TO SAY C. THAT'SJUST THE MOST REALISTIC ONE.

>> Chris: IT COULD BE BUTSINCE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE

INTERNET BUT IN FACT IT IS B.

A NIGHTMARISH LIVING MASCOT WHOLOOKS JUST LIKE THIS!

>> OH, MY GOD.

>> Chris: THE BIO READS, "HEY MYHEAD IS A LEMON, HIT ME UP."

>> SO COMEDIANS IF YOU FELT THENEED TO HIT UP LEMON HEAD, WHAT

WOULD TWEET AT HIM -- RONFUNCHES.

>> YOU SEEM LIKE YOU MIGHT KNOWWHERE TO GET GOOD ACID.

>> Chris: I WILL GIVE YOUPOINTS FOR THAT.

RICK GLASSMAN.

>> I WOULD SAY, WHAT IS UP BRENTMORIN, OH, NEVER MIND I THOUGHT

YOU WERE BRENT MORIN BECAUSE YOULOOK JUST LIKE HIM.

>> Chris: BRENT LEMON HEAD.

>> YOU JUST RUINED IT.

YOU RUINED MY LIFE. NOBODY CALLME LEMON HEAD AFTER THIS.

>> NO YOU CAN'T TELL THEINTERNET NOT TO DO SOMETHING.

>> YES, I CAN.

DON'T CALL ME LEMON HEAD!

>> Chris: 100 LEMON POINTS.>> THANK YOU.

>> Chris: A REAL FUHRER STARTEDOVER THIS IMAGE ON REDDIT TODAY.

YOU SEE A DVD 3 SET FROMWALMART. IT'S ONE DIRECTION "ALL

ALL ONE," BIEBER'S "RISE TOFAME" AND A HITLER DOCUMENTARY.

>> I THINK THAT HITLER SHOULDHAVE BEEN SANDWICHED BY BOY

BANDS.

>> HA, HA.

>> ONE DIRECTION TO POLAND.

>> Chris: THIS MAKES SENSE SINCEALL OF THEM ARE (BLEEP) ARITISTS

AND NONE OF THEM CAN GROW AMUSTAGE CORRECTLY.

COMEDIANS PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHERAPPROPRIATE WALMART THREE DVD

PACK.

>> THERE'S THE RON FUNCHESPUBERTY PACK, WHICH IS JUST

WILD THINGS, CRUEL INTENTIONSAND A BOTTLE OF HAND LOTION.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> MOST DEFINITELY POINTS.

>> Chris: RICK GLASSMAN.

>> MINE WOULD BE A COPY OFSISTER ACT, SISTER ACT 2 AND

ANOTHER COPY OF SISTER ACT 2 INCASE I SCATCH ONE OF MY COPIES

>> Chris: POINTS.

NOW TIME FOR TONIGHT'S HASHTAGWARS

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: AS I SAID, IF YOU'VE

BEEN WATCHING SINCE THEBEGINNING OF OUR PROGRAM, THE

COMEDIANS ARE THE STARS OF THENEW SITCOM "UNDATEABLE".

YES!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: THANK YOU FOR THAT

AFFIRMATION, CAUCASIAN SISTER.

SO WE WANTED TO GIVE THEM AHASHTAG THAT KIND OF WENT INTO

THE THEME OF THE SHOW.

TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS HASHTAGUNDATEABLE BECAUSE.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE I AM THE MAYOROF TORONTO OR HOST SINGLED OUT.

>> BRINGING IT BACK TO RICKGLASSMAN, 60-SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK AND GO.

>> I WILL ONLY GO DOWN ON NINESAND TENS.

>> Chris: POINTS. RON

>> DAY DRINKER

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> I CAN ONLY (BLEEP) IF YOUCALL ME HARRY STYLES.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> I SPENT 4,000 DOLLARS ONMAGIC GATHERING CARDS THIS

MONTH.

>> Chris: THAT'S TRUE.

>> I DON'T SEE A PROBLEM WITHTHAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? NO POINTS.

>> Chris: RON.

>> BECAUSE I NEED A RIDE.

>> Chris: POINTS.

BRENT.

>> I MURDER WOMEN.

THAT WOULD INSTANTLY MAKE YOUUNDATEABLE.

>> Chris: YOU ARE PLAYING THEGAME PROPERLY.

>> WE'LL NEVER GET TO A SECONDDATE.

COULD BE MY CHOICE, COULD BEYOURS.

>> MY MOTHER'S WORDS NOT MINEBUT MY DONG HURTS WOMEN.

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

>> Chris: POINTS.

RON.

>> I VIEW LOSING CUSTODY OF MYCHILD IS A FRESH START.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> BECAUSE ANY TIME A WOMANWANTS TO TELL ME A STORY I CAN'T

HELP BUT GO, BORING, BORING.

>> Chris: BOY, THE CROWD REALLYTURNED ON THAT ONE.

>> MURDERING WOMEN WAS FINE? AND YOU DON'T LIKE STORIES?

THIS IS WHY I KILL WOMEN!

OKCREEPY

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: NOT ONLY DOES

OKCUPID HELP YOU FIND ROMANCE ITALSO HELPS REMIND YOU JUST HOW

MANY PEOPLE ARE WALKING REDFLAGS.

ONE CATEGORY TO AN OKCUPIDPROFILE IS THE FIRST THING

PEOPLE USUALLY NOTICE ABOUT ME.

SO I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU A REALOKCUPID PROFILE AND YOU

BUZZ IN AND TELL ME WHAT ITSHOULD SAY.

HERE'S THE FIRST ONE. LESLEYSTALLION.

>> YES, RON

>> A SURPRISING AMOUNT OFDR. PEPPER BOTTLE CAPS UNDER

MY CLEAVAGE.

>> POINTS.

>> THAT GUY KNOWS HOW TO LIVE,THOUGH.

>> NOT FOR MUCH LONGER.

>> NICE.

GREAT TEAMWORK.

>> Chris: NEXT ONE. DIAPEREDCOLIN.

THIS IS DIAPERED COLIN.

>> OH. YOU ARE NOT GOING TOLEAVE THAT HOUSE ALIVE.

>> Chris: RICK.

>> DON'T LET THE MASK FOOL YOU IAM ACTUALLY AN INCREDIBLY INSANE

PERSON.

>> Chris: YES.

POINTS.

BRENT.

>> I THINK THE FIRST THINGYOU'LL NOTICE ABOUT ME IS

MY PHOTOGRAPHY COLLECTION.

>> Chris: POINTS. GOOD ONE.EXCELLENT.

>> AND HERE'S THE LASTONE, SHARPIE EYEBROW.

SHARPIE EYEBROW.

>> KILL IT WITH FIRE!

>> I AM CHRIS ANGEL.

UNBOXING DAY

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] UNBOXINGDAY.

>> Chris: UNBOXING VIDEOS AREVIDEOS WHERE PEOPLE FILM

THEMSELVES OPENING UP ITEMSTHEY'VE JUST PURCHASED ONLINE.

WE'LL SHOW YOU THE START OF ONEOF THESE INEXPLICABLY POPULAR

VIDEOS AND YOU HAVE TO GUESSWHAT KIND OF PRODUCT IS BEING

UNBOXED.

READY? FIRST ONE.

LOOK AT THIS GUY WITH HIS MANILAMAILER.

>> IS HE OPENING UP A WEEDCALLED "BUBBA KUSH" OR BOY

SHORTS ONCE WORNY BY ELIZADUSHKU. RICK?

>> PANTY SHORTS BY DUSHKU.

>> WE'RE GOING TO SEE IF WE CANSMELL IT.

>> OH, MY GOODNESS.

>> HE ALSO WOULD HAVE SAID THATIF HE GOT THE PANTIES.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: I AM A BAD MAN.

>> DO I GET SOME POINTS?

>> Chris: YES, YOU GOT POINTSFOR THAT.

>> HEY, YOU GOT POINT.

CALM DOWN, I'M LOSING.

>> Chris: WAIT A MINUTE YOUDIDN'T GET POINTS.

>> THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU POINTS>> GIVE ME ASSIST POINTS --

.>> PUT SOME POINTS ON ME.

GIVE ME SOME POINTS.

>> Chris: @MIDNIGHT HAS NOTHAD A JOHN MCENROE YET. THIS IS

FANTASTIC.

>> CALM DOWN.

>> Chris: I WILL GO AHEAD ANDGIVE RON FUNCHES POINTS

FOR NOT ARGUING WITH ME

>> HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> NOW YOU ARE ARGUING.

I AM NOT ARGUING.

GIVE ME A SECOND.

I AM HASHTAG LEMON HEAD BRENTNOW FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND

YOU'RE COMING AT ME STRONG.

>> Chris: I WILL GIVE YOU 100POINTS FOR THAT.

JUST DON'T LOSE IT.

>> I AM GOING TO LOSE MY(BLEEP).

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT.

THIS LAST ONE, THIS GERMANFELLOW IN WHO NO WAY WANTS TO

MURDER EVERYONE.

>> ALL RIGHT.

NOW IS HE UNBOXING A LARGERKNIFE TO USE FOR MORE UNBOXING

OR IS HE A LIFE LIKE SILICONEMASK THAT IS PROBABLY FOR MURDER

>> MURDER.

>> Chris: YES.

IT IS DEFINITELY IN THERE.

DID YOU WANT TO PICK ONE OR JUSTGO WITH MURDER.

>> HEY, LISTEN A MURDERER KNOWSA MURDERER SO I WILL GO WITH THE

FIRST ONE.

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT. LET'S FINDOUT.

>> THEY ARE BOTH MURDER.

>> OH!

>> OH, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT AREYOU DOING?

>> THE IS A GUY ON THE RIGHTHAS A WEIRDER FACE.

NEW WEBBY AWARDS

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: THE 18 ANNUAL WEBBY

AWARDS WERE LAST NIGHT AND THEYFEATURED ALL THE EXCITEMENT OF

THE GRAMMY AWARDS.

AFTER, AFTER SHOW PODCAST.

APPARENTLY WEBBY AWARDS INCLUDEBEST TRAVEL SITE, AND BEST HOME

PAGE.

IN HONOR OF THE EVENT I WANT YOUTO COME UP WITH SOME NEW WEBBY

AWARDS.

60 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, GO.

>> MOST RACIST.

>> IT IS A TOUGH ONE THIS YEAR,POINTS.

RICK.

>> I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT THEBUTTON YET.

GO AHEAD, RICK. LET'S HEAR YOURGEM.

>> I WILL REMIND YOU THE CLOCKIS TICKING.

>> THE FIRST NICE YOUTUBECOMMENT EVER.

>> OKAY.

FATTEST AND WORST BODY ONFACEBOOK POST HIGH SCHOOL, THAT

GOES TO ELLIOTT GORDON.

>> WHO IS THAT?

>> HE LOOKS BAD.

>> Chris: OKAY.

GOOD.

POINTS FOR THAT.

RON.

>> THE LIFETIME OF NOACHIEVEMENT AWARD.

>> Chris: YES.

POINTS.

>> COULD YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC,MOST N-WROSE BY A WHITE GUY ON

TWITTER?

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> GUILTY.

>> POINTS! MORE POINTS!

>> IF I GAVE YOU MINE.

>> MY EAR, YOU AGGRESSIVE CHILD.

OKAY.

BEST, BIGGEST BUDGET POINTLESSBOND VIDEO.

DON'T PUT MONEY AND STUFF INTOVINES.

I THINK THAT IS THE POINT ITRIED TO MAKE.

>> NO POINTS FOR STRUGGLING.>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

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