In this episode, the press is treating John McCain unfairly. They're showing pictures of him without Sarah Palin. And I present Colbert Platinum, my segment for viewers with high income. Don't worry, government bailouts count as income. Then, my guest Peter J. Gomes teaches religion at Harvard. I hope he teaches You Are Going to Hell 101. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce us host and audience. You may kiss the screen. This is The Colbert Report.