March 26, 2014 - Errol Morris

  • 03/26/2014

Secret Service agents go on a bender, a Belgian baby gets a soccer contract, the Washington Redskins reach out to Native Americans, and Errol Morris talks "The Unknown Known."

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )

>> Stephen: STOP IT.

NO, NO, PLEASE.

STOP IT!

I'M SORRY, FOLKS.

I'M SORRY, WELCOME TO THE--SORRY, JUST FEELING A LITTLE-- A

LITTLE ROUGH.

I OVERINDULGED LAST NIGHT.

I JUST NEED SOME ADVIL AND ALITTLE HAIR OF THE DOG THAT BIT

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )LITERALLY, I GOT INTO A FIGHT

WITH A DOG LAST NIGHT.

( LAUGHTER )I ATE SOME OF HIS HAIR.

IT WAS A CHOCOLATE LAB, AND IWAS CURIOUS.

THEN WE MADE FRIENDS.

THAT-- THAT DOG COULD PARTY.

HOLD ON.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

OKAY, OKAY, ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

DADDY'S COMING BACK.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, FOLKS YOU WATCH THIS SHOW.

YOU KNOW I AM NO LIGHTWEIGHT,BUT JIMMY CARTER WAS ON THE SHOW

LAST NIGHT.

AND HE WAS TRAVELING WITH THESEFOUR GUYS.

THEY-- THEY-- THEY BELONG TOSOME PARTY FRAT, UM-- SECRET

SERVICE.

( LAUGHTER )AND, MAN, THOSE GUYS CAN DRINK.

>> THREE SECRET SERVICE AGENTSHAVE BEEN SENT HOME FROM THE

NETHERLANDS FOR PARTYING TOOHARD.

>> ONE OF THE AGENTS HAD SO MUCHTO DRINK DURING A DAY OF

PARTYING IN AMSTERDAM THAT HECOULDN'T MAKE HIS HOTEL ROOM KEY

WORK, SO HE JUST PASSED OUT ONTHE FLOOR IN THE HALLWAY.

( LAUGHTER )>> Stephen: FOLKS, I'M NOT

SURPRISED HE WAS DRINKING.

I MEAN, IT IS THEIR SWORN DUTYTO TAKE THE BULLET.

( LAUGHTER )FOLKS, WHY DO YOU THINK THEY'RE

ALWAYS RUNNING ALONGSIDE THEPRESIDENT'S LIMO?

THEY'RE TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS )STILL, STILL, STILL, THE SECRET

SERVICE SHOULD NOT HAVE GOTTENDRUNK ON THE JOB.

FOR PETE'S SAKE.

THEY WERE IN AMSTERDAM.

THEY SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN STONED.

( CHEERS AND AAPLAUSE ).

I MEAN, IT'S-- YES, IT MIGHTMAKE THEM PARANOID, BUT THAT'SPART OF THE JOB

( LAUGHTER )NOW, FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THE

NEWS, YOU KNOW WE'RE REACHINGTHE END OF MARCH MADNESS.

IT COMES IN LIKE A LION, ANDGOES OUT LIKE A LION LOSING 10

GRAND BETTING ON WICHITA STATE.

THIS IS THE SPORT REPORT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )WOOOO!

WOOO!

FOLKS, WE ARE IN A DARK CHAPTEROF AMERICAN HISTORY.

SWEDEN IS BEATING USEDUCATIONALLY.

CHINA IS BEATING USECONOMICALLY.

AND ALBANIA IS BEATING USALPHABETICALLY.

( LAUGHTER )I'LL SAY IT AGAIN-- WE MUST

CHANGE OUR NAME TOONE-UNDERSTORE-AAAAMERICA.

AND NOW I CAN'T BELIEVE I'MSAYING THIS-- WE'RE BEING BEATEN

RECRUITING YOUNG ATHLETES.

WE'RE THE ONES WHO DRAFTEDLEBRON AT 18 WHEN HE ONLY LOOKED

38, BUT THESE DAYS, 18 ISANCIENT, ESPECIALLY IN SOCCER,

OR AS THE EUROPEANS CALL IT,FOOT SOCCER, BECAUSE THE WAFFLE

EATING MAYO DIPPERS INBELGIUM HAVE SIGNED A

20-MONTH-OLD TODDLER TO APROFESSIONAL SOCCER CONTRACT.

THIS BOY, WHOSE NAME IS BRYCEBRITES, WAS SIGNED BY A BELGIAN

TEAM WHOSE SPOKESMAN SAID HISBALL CONTROL IS INCREDIBLE FOR

SOMEONE HIS AGE.

YES, HIS BALL CONTROL ISINCREDIBLE UNLESS IS IT ROLLS

BEHIND THE COUCH BECAUSE HE'SNOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE OBJECT

PERMANENCE YET.

BUT BRYCE HAS GOT THEFUNDAMENTALS.

JIMMY, LET'S GO TO THE TAPE.

>> AND HERE COMES BRYCE,CARRYING IT HALF A METER,

DRIBBLING WITH BOTH FEET,STRAIGHT TO THE WALL, AND HE'S

RIGHT BACK ON THE PITCH, LEAVINGTHE COACH IN THE DUST.

AND HE SPOTTED SOMETHING SHINY.

>> Stephen: JUST IMAGINE THEHEADERS HE'LL BE ABLE TO DO ONCE

HIS FONTANEL CLOSES.

CLEARLY, AMERICA NEEDS TO UP OURRECRUITING GAME.

I SAY IF WE WANT ANY SHOTS ATWINNING THE 2032 WORLD CUP, WE

NEED SCOUTS COVERING LAMAZECLASSES AND SIGNING THE BIGGEST

KICKERS.

AND THAT GOES FOR ALL SPORTS.

WE SHOULD START SCOUTING SPERM,BECAUSE THE FASTEST SWIMMER

COULD BE THE NEXT MICHAELPHELPS.

NEXT UP, FOLKS.

( APPLAUSE )NATION, IT'S NO SECRET, I LOVE

PLAYING WITH MY DIMPLED WHITEBALLS.

AND GOLF'S MOST EXCITING ANNUALEVENT IS THE PROFESSIONAL

GOLFERS ASSOCIATION MERCHANDISESHOW.

IT'S LIKE THE REPUBLICANCONVENTION, EXCEPT-- WELL, I

ACTUALLY CAN'T THINK OF ADIFFERENCE.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

BUT THIS YEAR'S KEYNOTE SPEAKERSRELAYED SOME SOBERING FACTS

ABOUT THE GAME I NEVER PLAYEDSOBER.

JIM.

>> FOR THE PAST DECADE, 10--MORE THAN 10 YEARS-- OUR GREAT

GAME HAS BEEN IN A STATE OFDECLINE BECAUSE OUR GAME LACKS

INNOVATION.

>> WE'VE LOST FIVE MILLIONGOLFERS OVER THE LAST 10 YEARS,

FIVE MILLION.

THE RESEARCH SAYS THE ANSWERIS VERY SIMPLE-- THEY'RE JUST

NOT HAVING FUN.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: YES, AFTER 500YEARS OF WALKING SLOWLY THROUGH

FIELDS, HITTING BALLS IN THEWRONG DIRECTION, THEN SEARCHING

FOR THEM IN ALGAE-FILLED PONDS,SOMETIMES GOLF ISN'T FUN.

FORTUNATELY, THERE'S A WAY TOGET MILLENNIALS BACK ON THE

LINKS, THANKS TO A NEW WEBSITECALLED HACKGOLF, AN OPEN

INNOVATION INITIATIVE AIMED ATCROWDSOURCING THE FUTURE OF THE

GAME.

hashtagyes.com.

WE NEED TO OPEN, INNOVATE, ANDCROWDSOURCE A GOLF 2.00THAT

APPEALS TO THE TWEENS,SPECIFICALLY TWEEN 55 AND

RETIREMENT.

AND THE HACKGOLF MESSAGE BOARDIS ALREADY ABUZZ WITH

OUTSIDE-THE-BOX THE IDEAS THECROWDSOURCERS HAVE HACKED UP,

INCLUDING SURROUND EACH HOLEWITH NETS SIMILAR TO THE

BARRIERS USED IN BOWLING.

ONLY COUNT THE GOOD SHOTS.

AND FREE BEER.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

WELL, FOLKS, IIGOTTA SAY, I-- ITOOK A MOMENT TO TRY A FAIR

AMOUNT OF THAT LAST DISCUSSION,AND WHILE DOING SO, I CAME UP

WITH MY OWN PARADIGM-SMASHINGGOLF HACK. INSTEAD OF EVERY MAN

FOR HIMSELF, WE DIVIDE GOLFERS INTO

TWO TEAMS AND INSTEAD OF THEMALL HEADING FOR THE SAME GREEN

THEY START ON OPPOSITE SIDES ANDAIM FOR EACH OTHER'S GREENS.

FOR SAFETY, OBVIOUSLY, YOU GOTTALOSE THE CLUBS, AND PUT THE HOLE

10 FEET IN THE AIR AND MAKE THEBALLS BIG AND ORANGE.

NOW, THAT IS A GOLF GAME THATYOUNG PEOPLE MIGHT PLAY.

NEXT UP, FOLKS, FOOTBALL.

THE P.C. POLICE CONTINUE TOHAMMER THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS

OVER THEIR SO-CALLED OFFENSIVENAME, THOUGH, IF YOU'VE SEEN

THEM PLAY RECENTLY THEIR NAME ISTHE LEAST OFFENSIVE THING ON THE

FIELD.

THANKFULLY, REDSKINS OWNERDANIEL SNYDER HAS FOUND A WAY TO

SMOKE'UM THE PEACE PIPE.

>> THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS ARETRYING TO IMPROVE THEIR IMAGE

WITH THE NATIVE AMERICANCOMMUNITY.

OWNER DANIEL SNYDER IS NOWCREATING A FOUNDATION TO ASSIST

AMERICAN INDIAN TRIBES.

>> SNYDER SENT A LETTER TOREDSKINS FANS LAYING OUT A PLAN

TO START THE WASHINGTON REDSKINSORIGINAL AMERICANS FOUNDATION.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT, THEWASHINGTON REDSKINS' ORIGINAL

AMERICANS FOUNDATION, BECAUSEREDSKINS IS NOT OFFENSIVE IF YOU

ONLY USE IT ONCE IN YOUR NAME.

( LAUGHTER )AND, FOLKS, THE HEALING HAS

ALREADY BEGUN.

THE CHARITY HAS DISTRIBUTED OVER3,000 COLD WEATHER COATS TO

SEVERAL TRIBES, AND YOU CAN SEEHOW HAPPY THEY ARE IN THEIR NEW

GEAR.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

THE FOUNDATION ALSO ASSISTED INTHE PURCHASE OF A NEW BACKHOE

FOR THE OMAHA TRIBE.

THAT'S RIGHT, ASSISTED-- BECAUSEYOU CAN'T EXPECT A TEAM WORTH

1.7 BILLION TO PAY FORTHE ENTIRE BACKHOE.

THOSE THINGS COST THOUSANDS.

TO COVER THAT PRICE THEY'D HAVETO SELL A BEER AND A SOFT

PRETZEL.

THIS MOVE BY DANIEL SNYDERINSPIRES ME BECAUSE MY SHOW HAS

FREQUENTLY COME UNDER ATTACK FORHAVING A SO-CALLED OFFENSIVE

MASCOT.

MY BELOVED CHARACTER CHING-CHONGDING-DONG.

OH, I LOVE TEA.

IT'S SO GOOD FOR YOU.

GIRL.

YOU COME HERE.

I NEED NO SUGAR WHEN YOU AROUND.

COME ON MY RICKSHAW, I GIVE YOUA RIDE TO BANGKOK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

NOW, FOLKS THE SMALL MINDED OUTTHERE CAN CALLED CHING-CHONG

DING DONG AN OFFENSIVECARICATURE OF

AN ASIAN AMERICAN.

THAT IS WRONG. HE IS NOT ANAMERICAN. HE IS A CHINAMAN. AND

IF HE EVER HEARD SOMEONE CALLHIM A STEREOTYPE HE WOULD CHOKE

ON HIS OPIUM PIPE.

OF COURSE, THERE IS NO PLEASINGTHE ATTACK DOGS OVER ASIAN MEDIA

WATCH WHO DEMANDED THAT I REMOVECHING-CHONG FROM THE SHOW'S

LETTERHEAD AND STOP HAVING HIMACCEPT AWARDS ON MY BEHALF.

THE POINT IS, THE POINT IS,OFFENSIVE OR NOT-- NOT--

CHING-CHONG IS PART OF THE OF OFTHE UNIQUE HERITAGE OF THE

COLBERT NATION THAT CANNOTCHANGE.

BUT I AM WILLING TO SHOW THEASIAN COMMUNITY I CARE BY

INTRODUCING THE "CHING-CHONGDING-DONG FOUNDATION FOR

SENSITIVITY TO ORIENTALS ORWHATEVER"

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )IT IS A WONDERFUL CHARITY.

THANK YOU.

( APPLAUSE )I WILL APPLAUD MY SENSITIVITY AS

WELL.

IT'S A WONDERFUL CHARITY THAT'SALREADY PROVIDED 3,000 OF THOSE

TRIANGLE HATS TO ASIAN AMERICANSIN NEED.

I ASSUME THERE'S A NEED ECAUSEI NEVER SEE THEM WEARING THOSE

THINGS ANYMORE.

AND I OWE ALL THIS SENSITIVITYTO REDSKINS OWNER DANIEL SNYDER.

SO, ASIANS, SEND YOUR THANK YOULETTERS TO HIM, NOT ME.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

THAAKS SO MUCH.

FOLKS, THE MIDTERM ELECTIONSARE AROUND THE CORNER AND IF THE

POLLSTERS ARE RIGHT THESE WILLBE THE GREATEST MIDTERMS EVER.

>> WE ARE GETTING REPORTEDTONIGHT AS WHAT IS BEING

DESCRIBED AS A DEMOCRATIC PARTYFREAK OUT AFTER A BIG

PREDICTION FROM POLL WATCHERNATE SILVER, THE POLITICAL

ANALYST WHO NAILED 2012PRESIDENTIAL RESULTS WELL IN

ADVANCE, AND NOW HE ISPREDICTING THAT REPUBLICANS WILL

LIKELY WIN CONTROL OF THESENATE.

>> SILVER PREDICT THATREPUBLICANS HAVE A 60%-- THAT'S

A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE-- OF TAKINGCONTROL OF THE U.S. SENATE THIS

YEAR.

>> Stephen: 60%.

THAT IS ALMOST HALF.

( CHEERS )AND WHY DOES SILVER THINK THE

REPUBLICANS WILL TAKE THESENATE?

BECAUSE AS COMPARED WITH 2010,OR 2012, THE G.O.P. HAS DONE A

BETTER JOB OF RECRUITINGCREDIBLE CANDIDATES.

REALLY?

MORE CREDIBLE THAN 2012?

THE REPUBLICANS HAD SERIOUSPEOPLE LIKE SHARON ANGLE AND

RICHARD MOURDOCK AND A STICK OFBUTTER WITH GOOGLY EYES.

NEVERTHELESS -- GOOD GUY, GOODMAN.

NEVERTHELESS, THIS YEAR, THEG.O.P. HAS STEPPED UP ITS GAME

WITH EVEN INCREDIBLER CANDIDATESLIKE IOWA'S JONI ERNST WHO IS

RUNNING ON A PLATFORM EVERYONECAN GET BEHIND.

I GREW UP CASTRATING HOGS ON ANISLAND.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: SOLD!

JONI, JONI YOU HAD MEAT CASTRATION.

FOLKS, IT DOES NOT MATTER WHATELSE SHE STANDS FOR.

I AM PULLING FOR HER WHOLE HOG,OR WHATEVER IS LEFT OF THE HOG

WHEN SHE'S DONE WITH IT.

FOLKS, I THINK EVERYONE SHOULDKNOWWABOUT JONI'S HISTORY OF HOG

CASTRATION, NOT JUST THE PEOPLESHE'S LEGALLY REQUIRED TO TELL

WHEN SHE MOVES INTO A NEWNEIGHBORHOOD.

( LAUGHTER )AMERICA NEEDS MORE SENATORS WHO

ARE FARM TOUGH.

I MEAN, WHILE THE OTHER LITTLEGIRLS WERE READING "CHARLOTTE'S

WEB,""JONI WAS OUT BACK WITHTINSNIPS MAKING A SOPRANO OUT OF

WILBUR.

AND WHEN IT CAME TIME, FOLKS,WHEN IT CAME TIME TO PLAY WITH

BARBIES, JONI TOOK ONE LOOK DOWNKEN'S PANTS AND SAID, "MY WORK

HERE IS DONE."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AND--

( CHEERS AND ERNST ALREADY GOT MITT

ROMNEY'S ENDORSEMENT, AND SHECAN HAVE MINE, TOO, IF SHE COMES

NOWHERE NEAR ME.

( LAUGHTER )I BELIEVE THAT AMERICA DEMANDS

SENATORS WITH BALLS, AND I'MGUESSING JONI'S GOT A DUMPSTER

FULL OF THEM.

( APPLAUSE )SO SENATE CANDIDATES, IF YOU

WANT TO WIN, YOU MAKE MORE ADSLIKE JONI'S THAT PROVE YOU HAVE

WHAT IT TAKES TO CHANGEWASHINGTON LIKE THIS.

HI, I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.

AND I GREW UP KILLING DUCKS INTHE PARK WITH A TACK HAMMER.

WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS OLD, I BEATA RACCOON TO DEATH WITH A CINDER

BLOCK AND MY HEART RATE NEVERWENT ABOVE 80 BEATS PER MINUTE.

THIS HERE IS MY SHED.

YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IGOT IN THERE.

BUT YOU SEND ME TO WASHINGTON,I'LL PUT MORE THINGS IN MY SHED.

IN FACT, I'M GOING TO NEED ABIGGER SHED.

>> STEPHEN COLBERT IN 2014.

>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHTBACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACADEMYAWARD-WINNING DOCUMENTARIAN WITH

A NEW FILM ON DONALD RUMSFELD.

HE'LL GREET ME AS A MODERATOR.

PLEASE WELCOME ERROL MORRIS.

ERROL, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

THANKS FOR COMING BACK.

ALL RIGHT, HOW ARE YOU?

>> I THINK I'M OKAY.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT SURE?

YOU JUST THINK SO?

>> NEVER REALLY COMPLETELY SURE.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

( LAUGHTER )MAABE YOU SHOOLD DO A

DOCUMENTARY ABOUT YOURSELF ORARE YOU AFRAID TO TURN THAT

POINTED LENS ON ERROL MORRIS?

>> IT'S A FRIGHTENING THING.

>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU LOOKAT ALL ASPECTS OF AMERICAN

SOCIETY, AND YOU JUDGE ITTHROUGH YOUR LENS.

YOU HAVE DONE THE THIN BLUELINE.

IF "THE FOG OF WAR" "STANDINGOPERATING PROCEDURE," AND YOUR

NEW FILM IS CALLED "THE UNKNOWNKNOWN" ABOUT FORMER DEFENSE

SECRETARY DONALD RUMSFELD.

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN"THE UNKNOWN KNOWN."

WHAT IS THAT?

( LAUGHHER ).

>> CAN I BE COMPLETELY HONESTWITH YOU?

>> Stephen:-- I-- HOPE YOUWILL.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>> Stephen: WHAT THE( BLEEP ) ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

YOU'RE ONE OF THESE LIBERALS,RIGHT, ONE OF THESE HOLLYWOOD

GLITZY PARTY, HANGING OUT WITHBRAD PITT LIBERALS WHO TRIED TO

LAY TRAPS FOR DONALD RUMSFELD,THAT GOOD MAN, WHO LED THIS

COUNTRY DURING THE IRAQ WAR.

>> THAT'S ME!

>> Stephen: THAT'S YOU.

WHY-- WHY DID YOU GUN FOR DONRUMSFELD WITH THIS?

AND DID YOU GET HIM?

>> I HAD THIS SALT AND PEPPERSHAKER IDEA-- COLLECT THEM ALL.

I HAD DONE THE PREVIOUSSECRETARY OF DEFENSE.

>> Stephen: BOB McNAMARA.

OKAY "FOG OF WAR, "GREAT MOVIE.

>> AND I THOUGHT TWO REALLYDISASTROUS WARS-- VIETNAM, IRAQ,

WHY NOT DO THE OTHER GUY.

>> Stephen: WE WON IRAQ,THOUGH, WE WON IRAQ.

( LAUGHTER )WE DIDN'T LOSE!

( LAUGHTER )WE DIDN'T LOSE, MY FRIEND.

WE DIDN'T LOSE.

U.S.A. U.S.A.!

U.S.A.!

THANK YOU.

DO YOU SUPPORT OUR TROOPS?

>> I DO, INDEED.

>> Stephen: YOU DO SUPPORTOUR TROOPS.

WELL, I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.

OKAY, SO, YOU WANTED TO KNOW HOWRUMSFELD WON THAT WAR?

>> INDEED.

>> Stephen: HOW DID HE?

>> BY NOT REALLY THINKING TOOCAREFULLY ABOUT IT.

>> Stephen: YOU ALSO GO AFTERHIM ABOUT THE SO-CALLED TORTURE

MEMOS.

WE HAVE A LITTLE CLIP HERE.

JIM SHOW-- SHOW THIS MAN'S--UH-- WORD TWISTING IN ACTION.

♪ ♪.

>> WELL, THERE WERE WHAT, ONE ORTWO OR THREE.

I DON'T KNOW THE NUMBER, BUTTHERE WERE NOT ALL OF THESE

SO-CALLED MEMOS.

THEY WERE MISCHARACTERIZED ASTORTURE MEMOS AND THEY CAME NOT

OUT OF THE BUSH ADMINISTRATIONPER SE.

THEY CAME OUT OF THE U.S.

DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE.

BLESSED BY THE ATTORNEY GENERAL,THE SENIOR LEGAL OFFICIAL OF THE

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, HAVINGBEEN NOMINATED BY A PRESIDENT

AND CONFIRMED BY THE UNITEDSTATES SENATE OVERWHELMINGLY.

♪ ♪LITTLE DIFFERENT CAST I JUST PUT

ON IT THAN THE ONE YOU DID.

( LAUGHTER )I'LL CHALK THAT ONE UP.

>> WAS THE REACTION UNFAIR?

>> I'VE NEVER READ THEM.

>> REALLY?

>> I'M NOT A LAWYER.

WHAT WOULD I KNOW?

( APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: WHAT WOULD HEKNOW?

WHY AS SECRETARY OF DEFENSEWOULD HE CARE WHAT PEOPLE WERE

DOING TO DETAINEES?

( LAUGHTER )DID-- YOU WERE GUNNING FOR HIM,

THOUGH, RIGHT?

THAT'S CLEARLY-- THAT'S BIASED.

THAT'S BIAS.

>> PROBABLY DO.

((LAUGHTER )>> Stephen: WELL, YOU WERE

PLAYING A HORROR MOVIE MUSIC.

YOU GOT, LIKE, BELLA LAGOSSY INTHE BACKGROUND GOING...

♪ ♪HE'S THE MONSTER IN YOUR MOVIE,

RIGHT?

>> IT IS A HORROR MOVIE.

I HAVE TO CONFESS.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S MOSTHORRIBLE?

WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT DONALDRUMSFELD THAT MADE YOU

HORRIFIED?

>> THAT THERE SEEMED TO BENOBODY HOME.

>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU--WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

HERE'S A CHARMING MAN.

>> HE'S AN INCREDIBLY CHARMINGMAN.

HE GAVE ME A LOT OF HIS TIMEHE WAS INCREDIBLY COOPERATIVE.

HE GAVE ME ALL THESE MEMOS THATHE HAD WRITTEN OVER THE YEARS.

>> Stephen: HOW MANY HOURSDID YOU TALK TO HIM?

>> 30-PLUS HOURS OF INTERVIEWS.

>> Stephen: WOW.

SO DID YOU FIND OUT WHY WE WENTTO WAR IN IRAQ?

>> NOT SO MUCH.

( LAUGHTER )>> Stephen: I HEARD YOU SAID

YOU ACTUALLY KNOW LESS ABOUT THEREASONS WE WENT INTO IRAQ AFTER

TALKING TO HIM THAN WHEN YOUSTARTED TALKING TO HIM.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: IS THERE ANYCHANCE THAT SOME DAY WE WON'T

KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHY WE WENTIN?

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

AND THEN EVENTUALLY WE'LL JUSTFORGET THAT WE WENT IN AT ALL.

( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )

ERROL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FORJOINING ME.

ERROL MORRIS, "THE UNKNOWNKNOWN," IN THEATERS, ON

ITUNES, ON DEMAND, APRIL 4.

GO SEE IT.

THANK YOU.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

♪ ♪ Caationing sponsored by

>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR THEREPORT, EVERYBODY, GOOD NIGHT.