Best Friend, Space

  • Season 1, Ep 5
  • 04/03/2014

Forrest goes to space with his ex-father-in-law and competes in a friend-off to become his neighbor Gene's best friend.

GENE'S BEST FRIENDWAS ABSURD,

AND HE PROPOSED AN INTERESTING,IF UNORTHODOX, WAY

TO SETTLE THE ISSUE.

- YOU KNOW, BACK IN BASIC,WE HAD A SAYING.

"DON'T TALK THE TALKIF YOU CAN'T WALK THE WALK."

- MEANING?

- I'M CHALLENGING YOUTO A FRIEND-OFF.

- WHAT IS THAT?

- WE WILL TRY TO OUT-FRIENDEACH OTHER WITH GENE

UNTIL ONE GUY CAN'T FRIENDANYMORE, AND THEN HE GOES,

FOR GOOD.- OKAY.

YOU'RE ON.

I CAN OUT-FRIEND YOU ANY DAY.

- HEY, GUYS, CAN YOU REMIND ME

TO GET TOILET PAPERON THE WAY HOME?

- YES, ABSOLUTELY.

IN FACT, I WILL SETAN ALARM ON MY PHONE

TO REMIND ME TO REMIND YOUTO GET TOILET PAPER.

- I'LL GET YOU ENOUGHTOILET PAPER TO LAST 100 YEARS.

- I DON'T KNOWWHERE YOU'RE GONNA KEEP

ALL THAT TOILET PAPER.

SO I POURED IT ON, FRIENDINGAS HARD AS I COULD FRIEND.

HEY, GUYS![chuckles]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY FRIEND.

- OH, MY BIRTHDAYWAS TWO MONTHS AGO, FORREST.

- HOP ON, MY FRIEND.- OH, MY--

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL, FORREST.- IT IS.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHATBEST FRIENDS DO.

- YEAH.- THAT'S REALLY NICE,

BUT YOU GOT TO BE CAREFULWITH THESE THINGS.

I MEAN, I'VE BEENREADING ABOUT 'EM,

AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BEENRUNNING OVER THEIR KIDS.

- YEAH, WELL--- KID LOST PART OF HIS FACE.

- I-I'VE BEEN READINGABOUT 'EM TOO.

THEY SAID IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.

WHAT THEY'RE DOINGWITH FACES THESE DAYS--

THEY TAKE SOMEBODY'S FACE, ANDTHEY PUT IT ON SOMEBODY ELSE,

SO THEY GETTHIS FACIAL RECONSTRUCTION.

I'M NOT SAYINGIT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

- RIGHT.- I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA

RUN OVER CLAYTON'S FACE

OR HE'S GONNA LOSEANY OF HIS FACE.

BUT I'M SAYING IF IT DID HAPPEN,THEY'VE GOT THE SCIENCE NOW--

BUT CARLOS PROVEDTO BE A WORTHY ADVERSARY.

THE BEST PLACE IN TOWN.- OH, MY GOD.

WHAT IS THATIN THE BACKYARD?

- OH, YOU'RE HERE.

- WHAT IS THAT?- WAIT A SECOND.

ISN'T THAT THE NEW GRILLTHAT I JUST GOT YOU

THAT YOU SHOULD BE MAKINGBURGERS ON RIGHT NOW?

COME ON.- CARLOS! YOU ARE AWESOME!

- BURGERS?- DON'T TOUCH IT!

I WANT TO TOUCH IT.I WANT TO TOUCH IT.

HEY, MAN,THIS THING'S AWESOME.

- WELL, IT'S STAINLESS STEEL.

IT'S GONNA LAST 100 YEARS.

- THAT'S A LONG TIMETO EAT FLAVORLESS MEAT.

YOU KNOW, CHARCOAL GRILLS HAVEMORE OF A SMOKY TASTE, I FIND.

- OH, HEY, SUZANNE.

- SUZANNE.

HEY, COME JOIN US FOR A BURGER.

- NO, THANK YOU.

- OH. YOU GOT PLANS?- NOPE.

- SO FAR, SPENDING TIMEWITH GENE HADN'T DONE ANYTHING

TO IMPROVE MY RELATIONSHIPWITH SUZANNE.

SHE'S ALWAYS GOTSOMETHING GOING ON.

THANKS, GENE.

BUT I WAS NOT ABOUT TO GIVE UP.

WHEN WE ARRIVED,WE MET OUR SPACE FAMILY--

THE THREE OTHER HUMANSWHO WOULD JOIN US

ON OUR HEAVENLY JOURNEY.

THERE WAS BRYCE FROOD,WHO TOLD ME SECRETLY

HE PLANNED TO PROPOSETO HIS GIRLFRIEND, CARRIE,

AT 300,00 FEET,

AND THE SINGER AND CERTIFIEDCOSMONAUT LANCE BASS,

WHO HAD RAISED FUNDSFOR HIS TRIP

THROUGH AN AMBITIOUSSPONSORSHIP PLAN.

IT WOULD BE GOOD TO HAVE.- RIGHT?

- WERE WE ALL SUPPOSEDTO DO THAT?

- I WISH I HAD THOUGHT OF THAT.- YEAH.

- WE'RE GONNA BE LEAVINGTHIS PLACE, EARTH.

WE'RE NOT GONNA BE GOINGANYWHERE NEAR THESE PLANETOIDS

OR ANY PLANETOIDS,FOR THAT MATTER.

WE'RE GONNA BE STAYINGRIGHT IN HERE.

- WHAT WILL WEBE LOOKING DOWN ON?

OVER ONE THRILLING WEEK,THE FIVE OF US

COMPLETED AN EXHAUSTIVE SERIESOF PREPARATIONS.

- FLOCK OF SEAGULLS.

- WE SIGNED OUR LIFE AWAYON NUMEROUS FORMS.

- EVERYBODY GETS ONE.

- WE LEARNEDSPECIAL SAFETY PROTOCOLS.

- ONE, TWO, THREE.VERY GOOD.

- YOU KNOW, SOMEDAYWE'RE GONNA LIVE IN OUTER SPACE

AND LIVE ON PLANETS.

I WON'T BE AROUND TO SEE THAT,AND I DON'T THINK I WANT TO,

BUT JUST TO READ ABOUT ITIS SO EXCITING.

- NOW HITTHAT THREE-POINT SAFETY CHECK.

- WHAT?- THE THREE-POINT--

- YES, THEY AREONE, TWO, THREE,

AND OUT YOUR GO.- OKAY.

GREAT. YEAH.- GOOD JOB.

- THEN WE SPENT A DAY JUMPINGON TRAMPOLINES

TO PREPARE OUR BODIES AND MINDSFOR ZERO GRAVITY.

- AND STRATOJUMP.

GOOD.TOUCH YOUR TOES, SIR.

- IT WAS THE FINAL STAGEOF PREPARATION WE NEEDED

FOR THE RIGORS OF SPACE TRAVEL.

- IT WAS EXCITING FOR ME,

BUT FOR JACK, WELL,HE HAD SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE

DREAMING OF THIS MOMENT,

NEVER REALLY BELIEVINGIT WAS WITHIN REACH.

LIFE IS TRULY FULL OF SURPRISES.

- I LOVE THIS.- YEAH.

- AND I LOVE YOU.

AND I WANT TO THANK YOUFOR BRINGING ME ON THIS TRIP.

- AW, DAD.

- AND, FORREST,I WANT TO SEE YOU

GET BACK TOGETHERWITH MY DAUGHTER.

- AW.- I DO.

AND AS SOON AS WE'RE OFFTHIS SPACESHIP,

I'M GONNA DO EVERYTHING IN MYPOWER TO MAKE SURE THAT HAPPENS.

A DAUGHTER DOESN'T LISTENTO ANYONE MORE THAN THEIR POP.

BELIEVE ME.- OKAY.

- TEN, NINE...

all:EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX,

FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE.

- INITIATE LAUNCH.

- THAT'S ONE SMALL STEPFOR MAN--

- NO.JACK!

- ALTITUDE, 300,360 FEET.

WELCOME TO SPACE.

[all screaming]- OH, MY GOD.

- OH, NO!NO, JACK!

JACK!- OH, MY GOD, IS HE--

- JACK, YOU CANNOT BE DEAD!

THERE'S NO WAY!

YOU GOT TO TALK TO SUZANNE!

JACK, YOU GOT TO TALKTO SUZANNE!

OH--OH, NO.

BUT HE WAS DEAD.

MY DEAR VIEWER,IT SADDENS ME TO SAY

THAT JACK'S TRAGIC FAILURETO FASTEN HIS SAFETY HARNESS

HAD ENDED THE LIFEOF THIS EXTRAORDINARY MAN

AND CAST A HORRIBLE PALLOVER THIS JOURNEY INTO SPACE.

BUT THE JOURNEY WOULD GO ON.

- GUYS, I'M REALLY SORRYTO DO THIS,

BUT I'VE KIND OF PROMISEDTO PROMOTE PRODUCTS,

SO, UH...

STEAK 'N SHAKE--

WHERE THE STEAKBURGER'SALWAYS OUT OF THIS WORLD.

U-HAUL--

WHETHER IT'S ONE SMALL STEPOR ONE GIANT LEAP,

U-HAUL WILL GET YOU THERE.

KRISPY KREME--

ALL RIGHT, GUYS,WHO BROUGHT THE DOUGHNUTS?

HUH?

- MY FELLOW TRAVELERS HAD FORKEDOVER A LOT OF MONEY

FOR THIS ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIMEEXPERIENCE,

SO YOU COULDN'T BLAME THEM FORDOING WHAT THEY CAME HERE TO DO.

- SO...- WAIT. ARE--ARE YOU...

- I DON'T KNOW.- OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

I CAN'T BELIEVETHIS IS HAPPENING.

BRYCE.

- WILL YOU MARRY ME, CARRIE?

- OH, IT'S GORGEOUS.

OF COURSE I WILL.I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

IS THIS ON TAPE?- DID WE GET IT ON TAPE?

- WAIT. WAS THAT--- UH...

- WAS THAT BODY IN FRONTOF THERE THE WHOLE TIME?

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