Mr. Winchester Goes to Washington

  • Season 2, Ep 9
  • 11/21/2015

The TripTank staff testifies in front of a congressional committee, Ricky the Rocketship botches a rescue mission, and a father takes his kids on a wild ride.


- Lauranna! Lauranna!


Oh, there you are!

[gasps]- My locket!

Oh, Tripper!You found it.

Look, Stedmund.

Tripper found my locket.

- [scoffs] Good job, Rabbit.[snorts]

- Oh, thank you,thank you, thank you!

My mother gave me this locketbefore she was eaten

by that nasty oldgrizzly bear.

You are a true friend.

- Anything for you,m'lady.

- I can't waitto show Prince Peter--

- Actually, Lauranna,there was something

I wanted to ask you.

- Oh, Tripper, anything!

- How longhave we been friends now?

- Eight years, I believe.

- Eight years, three months,two days.

And Lauranna, you knowI'd do anything for you, right?

- Yes, and I you.

- And you knowthat I love you, right?

- Yes, and I you.

- Let's quit playing games.

That prince ain't right for you.

I love you

and I'm willingto risk our friendship

to explore this connection.

We owe it to ourselvesto at least try.

We belong together!

- Oh, Tripper, that's so sweet,but I'm sorry,

I'm in love withPrince Peter!

- Really, Prince Peter?

After all I've done for you?

God, Pecker was right,you're a [bleep] tease!

- What? Oh, Pecker?

- Yeah?- Did you call me a "tease"?

- Yeah, 'cause you are one.

All the birdsfeel the same way.

- You cuddle up to us,sing us those sexy little songs,

let us see you naked.

They don't mean nothing.

You wouldn't date none of us.

You're just using usto make you free dresses.

- This is ludicrous!

Tripper, you can't feellike this.

- Some dickhead princebreaks your heart.

It's like, "Oh, Tripper!Make me feel better!"

Or if you're having a bad day,it's, "Oh, Tripper!

Let me pet your belly!"

When's the last timeyou asked me about my day

or let me pet your belly,Lauranna?

It's bullshit!

I get all the boyfriend dutiesand none of the pussy!


- I can't believe this.

Critter! [clears throat]Critters of the forest!

We need to talk.

- Yeah, come on, critters.

Her Highness beckons.

[clears throat]- By show of hand

or paw or hoof,

how many of youthink I'm a tease?

- What?- Ha! I rest my case!

- She's totallya tease.

- Ah, yeah,for sure a tease.

And honestly,you can be a little cold.

- Of course I'm cold to you.

You ate my mother!

- Fair enough.

[groans]- I cannot even--

Excuse me for notlifting my skirt

for every squirrel thatoffers to crack a nut for me!

[squirrel chirps]

- You guys buddied up to me!You follow me around!

If you only do nice thingsfor me

because you're tryingto get some

and it doesn't work out,that doesn't make me a prude.

That makes youall presumptuous douche bags!

I thought we were friends!

Turns out you're just a bunchof self-centered perverts

who are gonna get all butt-hurtwhen a girl who's

out of your league doesn'tlet you sniff her asshole

for helping her out of a jam.

[bleep] you!

I mean, Jesus,did you ever think

that maybe I'm just notinto sex with animals?

[snorts]- Come on, girl.

We both knowthat's a lie.

[animals gasping] - Oh, my God!