December 1, 2015 - Texas Textbook Controversy & Donald Trump

  • 12/01/2015

The Texas school board takes a red pen to American history, and Larry discusses the source of Donald Trump's popularity with Pete Wentz, Ricky Velez and Holly Walker.

>> Larry: MAN, THANK YOU VERYMUCH.

OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SUCH A GOOD CROWD TONIGHT.

>> LARRY!

LARRY!

LARRY!

>> Larry: PLEASE, TOO KIND.

I GOT MY AUDIENCE--OOO-OOOO-THAT'S HOW A HEART

SOUNDS, RIGHT?

WELCOME TO "NIGHTLY SHOW."

I AM LARRY, LARRY, LARRY.

YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS?

IT IS DECEMBER 1, ONE MONTH AWAYFROM JANUARY AND THAT MEANS TWO

THINGS.

ONE, IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEARSINCE I ABANDONED MY NEW YEAR'S

RESOLUTION MEMBERSHIP TO BALLYTOTAL FITNESS.

ALMOST A YEAR.

THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I SWEAT, BYTHE WAY.

TWO, IT'S ONLY A HANDFUL OFWEEKS UNTIL THE PRESIDENTIAL

PRIMARIES SO IT'S TIME ONCEAGAIN TO SEE WHO IS TRYING TO

DE-NEGROFY THE WHITE HOUSE

LET'S CHECK IN ON THEUNBLACKENING, YOU GUYS.

( APPLAUSE )I LOVE THAT THE AUDIENCE IS

TRAINED TO CHEER FOR THEUNBLACKENING NOW.

( LAUGHTER )"THE UNBLACKENING, LARRY, YEAH!

DE-NEGROFY."

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

ACCORDING TO THE LATEST FOXG.O.P. POLLS, DONALD TRUMP IS

STILL LEADING NATIONALLY OVEREVERY OTHER OPPONENT, INCLUDING

COMMON SENSE.

( LAUGHTER )WAIT.

GILMORE IS BEATING COMMON SENSE.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME.

BUT IN AN INTERESTING TWIST,TRUMP SET OUT YESTERDAY TO

BLACKEN HIS UNBLACKENING.

>> U.S. PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATEDONALD TRUMP MET WITH MORE THAN

100 BLACK PASTORS ON MONDAY.

ALTHOUGH, THERE WAS SOMECONTROVERSY AND CONFUSION

SURROUNDING THE MEETING, TRUMP,NOT SURPRISINGLY, CALLED IT A

BIG SUCCESS.

>> I THOUGHT IT WAS AN AMAZINGMEETING.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Larry: COME ON, MAN.

NO ONE HAS AN AMAZING MEET WITH100 AFRICAN AMERICAN PASTORS.

UNLESS THEY'RE, LIKE A12-BUTTON SUIT SALELSMAN

YOU HAD AN AWESOME MEETING,RIGHT?

( APPLAUSE )( LAUGHTER )

OKAY, SO HOW MANY DID HE WINOVER?

LOOK, GUYS, LET'S BE HONEST--SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT TRUMP,

HE IS A MASTER SALESMAN, RIGHT?

HE TELLS US THAT ALL THE TIME.

HOW MANY OF THESE BLACK PASTORSOR BLASTORS-- SHORTEN THAT UP--

HOW MANY OF THESE BLASTERSENDORSED HIM.

I'M SAYING 85, 75 ON A BAD DAY.

>> YOU SAY YOU'RE FOR DONALDTRUMP 100%.

>> 100%.

>> I BELIEVE STRONG LEADERS AREGOING TO BRIDGE AND BRING

STRENGTH BACK TO AMERICA.

>> I SUPPORT DONALD TRUMP ANDEVERYBODY KNOWS IT.

EVERYBODY KNOWS IT.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: OKAY, THREE BLACK

ENDORSEMENTS?

BLENDORSMENTS.

SORRY, I HAD TO DO THAT.

I COULDN'T RESIST.

THAT'S NOT BAD.

OKAY, THREE BLACK ENDORSEMENTSOUT OF 42 MILLION BLACK

PEOPLE...

( LAUGHTER )CARRY THE OMAROSA.

WOW!

MAN!

HE'S GOT A WAYS TO GO, GUYS.

BUT I'M SURPRISED THESE NUMBERSARE SO LOW.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THATTRUMP HAD A GREAT RELATIONSHIP

WITH THE BLACKS.

>> I HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIPWITH THE BLACKS.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: IN FACT, IN FACT,HE'S ALWAYS HAD A GREAT

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BLACKS.

>> I HAVE-- I HAVE ALWAYS HAD AGREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH THE

BLACKS.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: THAT'S WHAT I'M

SAYING.

I DON'T GET IT.

I DON'T GET IT.

IT'S CLEAR ESTABLISHED THEBLACKS LOVE THE DONALD AND THE

DONALD LOVE THE BLACKS, RIGHT.

THE BLACK COMMUNITY IS NOT THEONLY GROUP TRUMP IS TRYING TO

WIN OVER WITH HIS AFFECTIONATEOVERTURE.

>> TRUMP REJECTS CHARGES HEINSULTED A "TIME" REPORTER BY

IMITATING HIS DISABILITY.

>> Larry: I CAN'T IMAGINEANYBODY RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

WOULD IMITATE A DISABLED PERSON.

NOT EVEN DONALD TRUMP.

THIS CANNOT BE TRUE.

BUT IT MUST BE, RIGHT.

>> THE POOR GUY.

YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS GUY.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SAID!

I DON'T REMEMBER."

HE'S GOING LIKE, "I DON'TREMEMBER!

>> Larry: YOU'VE GOT TO BE( BLEEP ) KIDDING ME, YOU GUYS.

THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN-- OKAY,OBVIOUSLY TRUMP HAD TO HAVE

APOLOGIZED AFTER THIS.

NOT EVEN THE DONALD WOULD TRY TOTALK HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE.

>> DONALD TRUMP CLAIMING THAT HEDID NOT MAKE FUN OF A REPORTER

WITH A DISABILITY.

IN FACT, HE'S DEMANDING NOW ANAPOLOGY FROM THE "NEW YORK

TIMES."

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Larry: HE WANTS AN APOLOGY!

HE'S OBVIOUSLY MAKING FUN OFTHIS REPORTER, WHO SUFFERS FROM

A PHYSICAL DISABILITY THATLIMITS THE MOVEMENT OF HIS ARMS,

AND TRUMP WANTS AN APOLOGY?

LOOK, WHY SHOULD I BELIEVEYOU'RE SENSITIVE TO DISABLED

PEOPLE?

YOU LITERALLY JUST RELEASED ABOOK ENTITLED "CRIPPLED

AMERICA."

( APPLAUSE )I HAVE NO REASON TO BELIEVE HIM!

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

I GOT TO HEAR THIS.

WHAT'S TRUMP'S EXCUSE FOR THISONE?

>> HE WASN'T TWISTING HIS ARM TOMIMIC ANYTHING.

HE WAS NOT MAKING FUN.

HE WAS BEING GESTICULATE, WHICHDONALD TRUMP IS.

AND HE WAS BASICALLY SHOWINGEXASPERATION OF A REPORTER THAT

IS HOLDING BACK ON A STORY.

>> Larry: OH, MY GOSH!

YOU GUYS ARE JUST LYING.

I MEAN, THAT IS A LIE.

HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK WE ARE?

LOOK, IF SOMEBODY ACCUSES ME OFMAKING FUN OF BLIND PEOPLE, MY

EXCUSE CAN'T BE, LOOK, YOU KNOW,MY NECK STARTED HURTING SO I

JUST STARTED MOVING IT LIKETHIS, YOU KNOW AND IT JUST-- IT

GOT KIND OF BRIGHT IN THERE SO IPUT SOME SHADES ON.

I WAS MOVING MY NECK.

AND THEN MY VOICE EYE JUSTSTARTED DOING THAT.

♪ I SAY HEY, HEYHEY, HO, HEY, HO♪

( LAUGHTER )I'M NOT MAKING FUN OF RAY

CHARLES.

IN FACT I DEMAND AN APOLOGY FROMTHE RAY CHARLES ESTATE RIGHT

NOW!

RIGHT NOW!

( APPLAUSE )( BLEEP ), MAN.

BUT, STILL, STILL, GUYS, TRUMPINSISTS HE HAS PLAUSIBLE

DENIABILITY.

>> TRUMP SAYS NO WAY, HE DIDN'TKNOW ABOUT HIS DISABILITY.

>> TRUMP RELEASED A STATEMENTTHURSDAY SAYING, "DESPITE HAVING

ONE OF THE ALL-TIME GREATMEMORIES, I CERTAINLY DO NOT

REMEMBER HIM."

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: ONE OF THE ALL-TIME

GREAT MEMORIES?

WHO IS ON THAT LIST?

RAIN MAN.

AN ELEPHANT.

ELEPHANT MAN.

I DON'T KNOW.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

GUYS, THE ELEPHANT MAN'S MEMORYWAS AMAZING!

WHY DO YOU THINK MICHAEL JACKSONATE HIS BONES.

I'M NOT MAKING THAT UP, YOUGUYS.

I'M NOT MAKING THAT UP!

THAT'S TRUE!

OKAY, OKAY.

AND NOW, APPARENTLY, TRUMP ISRELYING ON THAT FIVE-STAR MEMORY

FOR SOME CONTROVERSIALSTATEMENTS ABOUT MUSLIMS ON

9/11.

>> DONALD TRUMP IS STANDING FIRMBEHIND HIS CLAIMS ABOUT 9/11,

INSISTING HE SAW CROWDS IN NEWJERSEY CELEBRATING AS THE TOWERS

CAME DOWN.

>> THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OFPEOPLE WERE CHEERING.

>> Larry: NOW, DONALD, I DON'TWANT TO COMPETE WITH ONE OF THE

GREATEST MEMORIES OF ALL TIMES,BUT, NO, THEY WEREN'T.

YOU'RE LYING AGAIN.

NOW, TRUMP CLAIMS HE SAW THIS ONTELEVISION BUT HE WASN'T THE

ONLY ONE WATCHING TV THAT DAY.

RIGHT?

( LAUGHTER )BUT REALITY, FACTS, AND THE

TRUTH JUST DON'T MATTER IN THETRUMP CAMP.

OBSERVE.

>> HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THATTHERE'S NO EVIDENCE, NO VIDEO

EVIDENCE FOR WHAT MR. TRUMPCLAIMS HE SAW ON TELEVISION.

>> MR. TRUMP'S MEMORY ISFANTASTIC AND I'VE NEVER COME

ACROSS A SITUATION WHEREMR. TRUMP HAS SAID SOMETHING

THAT'S NOT ACCURATE.

>> THERE ARE-- SERIOUSLY?

>> YES, SERIOUSLY.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: JAKE TAPPER COULDN'TEVEN HOLD IT.

"SERIOUSLY?" THAT IS THE MOSTAMAZING LIE I HAD

EVER HEARD SINCE THE SAME GUYSAID TRUMP WASN'T MAKING FUN OF

THE DISABLED REPORTER EARLIER.

I THINK TRUMP JUST FOUND HISRUNNING MATE.

THAT IS IF HE HADN'T ALREADYPICKED OUT A 24-CARAT GOLD BUST

OF HIS OWN HEAD AS VICEPRESIDENT

THE REPUBLICAN FRONT-RUNNER OUTAND OUT LIES ABOUT MAKING FUN OF

A DISABLED REPORTER, EVEN THOUGHTHE SERVICE ON THE VIDEO.

AND THEN HE WANTS US TO BELIEVEHE SAW A VIDEO OF THOUSANDS OF

MUSLIM AMERICANS CHEERING ABOUT9/11.

SO DON'T BELIEVE THE VIDEO WE'VESEEN BUT BELIEVE THE VIDEO THAT

DOESN'T EXIST.

HIS BENDING OF THE TRUTH, THISHAS TO SHAKE HIS SUPPORTERS.

>> BENDS THE TRUTH?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

HE MAY, BUT HE'S STILL GONNA GETTHINGS DONE.

>> Audience: OOOOH!

>> Larry: UN-( BLEEP )-ABLE.

TRUMP 2016.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Larry: WELCOME BACK!

NOW, A LOT CAN BE SAID ABOUTTEXAS, THE STARS AT NIGHT ARE

BIG AND BRIGHT, THE OIL FLOWSLIKE SWEET TEXAS TEA.

AND THE ONE THING TEXANS LIKEMORE THAN WHITE PICKET FENCES IS

WHITEWASHING HISTORY.

A FEW YEARS AGO THE SCHOOL BOARDMADE CHANGES THAT HAVE NOW TAKEN

EFFECT.

>> THE TEXAS SCHOOL BOARD PASSEDCONTROVERSIAL NEW TEXTBOOK

GUIDELINES.

>> EVEN SOME VOCABULARY HAS BEENCHANGED.

REFERENCES TO THE SLAVE TRADEWOULD BE CHANGED TO THE ATLANTIC

TRIANGULAR TRADE.

>> Larry: COME ON, YOU GUYSREMEMBER THE ATLANTIC TRIANGULAR

TRADE, DON'T YOU.

THAT'S WHEN AMERICANS HAD ASURPLUS OF TRIANGLES, AND THE

TRIANGLES HELPED BUILD THISNATION AND IN TURN RECEIVED

SEPARATE BUT EQUILATERALTREATMENT.

COME ON.

THAT WAS WRONG.

THAT WAS ( BLEEP ).

BUT THE ATLANTIC TRIANGULARTRADE IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF

TEXAS' HISTORICAL TWO-STEP.

THE TEXT BOOKS WON'T MENTION THEKU KLUX KLAN OR JIM CROW.

AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, TEXASIS GIVING THE SCHOOL BOOKS THE

SECOND COAT OF WHITE WASHING.

THE STATE JUST PASSED A BILLTHAT WON'T LET ACADEMICS FACT

CHECK THEIR TEXT BOOKS.

THIS IS THE WORST THING THATHAPPENED IN TEXAS SINCE J.F.K.

WAS KILLED IN 1985.

I LEARNED THAT IN A TEXAS SCHOOLBOOK.

IT'S TRUE, TRUST ME, IT'S TRUE.

UT TEXTBOOKS ARE USED ACROSS THENATION AND SINCE THEY WON'T BE

CHANGE FORWARD 10 YEARS ITHOUGHT I WOULD TALK TO SOME

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KIDS TO LETTHEM KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO

BE MISSING.

♪ ♪HEY, KIDS.

I'M MR. WILMORE.

AND IT'S STORY TIME.

>> YAY!

>> Larry: HOW MANY KIDS HAVEHEARD OF THE BOOK "GOOD NIGHT

MOON?"I'M GOING TO READ YOU A BOOK

ABOUT THINGS THAT SOME PEOPLEARE TRYING TO WHITE WASH. IT'S

CALLED "GOOD NIGHT SLAVERY."

( LAUGHTER )OKAY, LET'S START.

IN A BIG RED STATE, THERE WAS ATEXTBOOK AND A DEBATE.

AND TOO MANY KNAVES, AND ONE BIGCAVE.

ASK A BOOK THAT IS SHUT AND APAST FULL OF SMUT.

AND A CRANKY CONSERVATIVE WITH ASTICK UP HIS BUTT.

GOOD NIGHT, SLAVERY.

GOOD NIGHT, BRAVERY.

GOOD NIGHT, THE THINGS WE FINDUNSAVORY.

GOOD NIGHT, K.K.K.

YOU GOTTA GO.

( LAUGHTER )GOOD NGOOD NIGHT, FACTS.

GOOD NIGHT, JIM CROW.

SEPARATE WATER FOR DRINKING.

GOOD NIGHT TO CULPABILITY.

GOOD NIGHT HIROSHIMA ANDNAGASAKI; IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE

IT'S SAD.

GOOD NIGHT JAPANESE INTERNMENTCAMPS BECAUSE AMERICA'S STORY

NEEDS A REVAMP.

SO GOOD NIGHT TO WRONGS DONE INTHIS NATION.

GOOD NIGHT, NATIVE AMERICANDECIMATION.

THEY'VE GOT CASINOS.

GOOD NIGHT PASTWE SHOULDADMIT, HELLO TEXTBOOK FULL OF...

UH, DO-DO.

( APPLAUSE )GOOD NIGHT, REALITY.

GOOD NIGHT, AIR.

GOOD NIGHT BAD BEHAVIOREVERYWHERE.

NEVER GOING TO LEARN THAT,SORRY.

THAT IS STORY TIME!

YAY!

( APPLAUSE )A BROTHER CAN'T GET A HAND?

( LAUGHTER )WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL.

"NIGHTLY SHOW" CONTRIBUTORRICKY VELEZ.

AND "NIGHTLY SHOW" CONTRIBUTORHOLLY WALKER.

AND HIS ALBUM "AMERICAN BEAUTYAMERICAN PSYCHO" IS ON SALE

NOW, AND HIS BAND "FALL OUT BOY"GOES ON TOUR IN FEBRUARY,

BASSIST PETE WENTZ.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AND FOR EVERYONE AT HOME, JOIN

OUR CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW ONTWITTER @NIGHTLY SHOW

USING THE HASHTAG "TONIGHTLY."

EARLIER IN THE SHOW WE WERETALKING ABOUT TRUMP, TRUMP,

TRUMP, AND TRUMP.

LET'S CONTINUE WITH TRUMP NOW.

I SHOWED YOU THIS THING WHERE HEDEFINITELY MADE FUN OF THE

DISABLED "NEW YORK TIMES"REPORTER.

>> YUP.

>> Larry: LET'S SHOW THATAGAIN.

>> NOW THE POOR GUY, YOU GOTTASEE THIS GUY, "OH, I DON'T KNOW

WHAT I SAID!

I DON'T REMEMBER."

HE'S GOING LIKE, "I DON'TREMEMBER."

>> Larry: I KNOW, IT'S SOHORRIBLE.

IT'S LAUGHABLE IN THE WORST WAYPOSSIBLE, RIGHT.

AND SOMEONE EVEN ASKED FROM THEAUDIENCE, AT WHAT POINT IS GOING

TO TAKE FOR PEOPLE TO SAY NO TOTRUMP?

AT WHAT POINT?

>> IT'S SO FRUSTRATING, MAN!

IT'S INSANE.

MECH IS SO ASS-BACKWARDS WHEN ITCOMES TO WHAT THEY'RE MAD ABOUT.

IT'S INCREDIBLE.

IF I WERE TO GET ON STAGE AS ACOMIC, I DO COMEDY FIVE NIGHT A

WEEK, WHEN I GOT UP THERE ANDGAME OVER!

GAME OVER!

NEW CAREER!

NEW CAREER!

BACK TO LAYING CARPET.

>> Larry: YOU WERE LAYINGCARPET?

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

>> RIDICULOUS!

>> Larry: WHY DO PEOPLE NOTCARE-- I MEAN, HE'S OBVIOUSLY

LYING.

WHY DON'T PEOPLE CARE--IT FEELS LIKE YOU CAN GO WITH

DUMB AND THEN YOU DOUBLE DUMB ONTHE DUMB AND IT'S LIKE-- I DON'T

KNOW.

PEOPLE SEEM TO GO-- I FEEL LIKETHE HAIR IS RUNNING THE SHOW,

KIND OF.

>> I THINK PEOPLE DON'T CAREBECAUSE TRUMP IS THE BULLY THAT

THEY WISH THEY COULD HAVE BEENIN HIGH SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE, HE'S JUST-- HE'S AHORRIBLE PERSON, BUT HE'S THE

BULLY WITH MONEY, YOU KNOW WHATI MEAN?

HE'S, LIKE, BIFF FROM "BACK TOTHE FUTURE."

RIGHT?

( APPLAUSE ).

>> Larry: WAS THAT ONE RICH?

HE WAS RICH, RIGHT?

>> YEAH, HE WAS THE RICH ONE.

HE WAS THE RICH BULLY.

>> Larry: RICH BIFF.

>> HE'S BIFF 2015 AND THEY WANTTO BE FRIEND WITH THE RICH

BULLY.

>> Larry: DO YOU THINK PEOPLEARE JUST TIRED OF POLITICAL

CORRECTNESS BECAUSE HE DOESN'TDO ANYTHING POLITICALLY CORRECT.

>> BUT HE'S NOT POLITICALLYCORRECT OR CORRECT.

>> Larry: THAT'S TRUE.

HE'S NOT CORRECT IN ANY WAY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )IF THEY'RE GOING TO DUMP

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS, AT LEASTBE CORRECT ABOUT SOMETHING.

>> I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOWAMERICA DECIDED TO TREAT DONALD

STERLING A CERTAIN WAY AND NOTTRUMP?

I THINK IT'S A VERY ODD-- DONALDSTERLING TALKED ( BLEEP ), BUT

HE DID IT PRIVATELY.

>> Larry: HOLD ON.

YOU'RE DEFENDING DONALDSTERLING.

>> COMPARED TO DONALD TRUMP.

IN HIS ANNOUNCEMENT, MEXICANSARE RAPISTS.

HE CALLED THEM RAPISTS.

I DON'T GET IT.

>> Larry: IT'S ONLY BECAUSE HEWANTS TO BUILD A WALL, RICKY.

>> BUT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING ISTHEY SHOULD TREAT-- THEY SHOULD

TREAT TRUMP THE WAY THEY TREATEDDONALD STERLING.

>> YEAH, DONALD STERLING CAN'TEVEN GO TO A GAME ANYMORE.

HE CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE GAMEANYMORE.

HE CAN'T GO.

THIS MAN IS RUNNING FORPRESIDENT!

( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS ).

>> Larry: I DON'T KNOW.

OKAY, THEN LET ME ASK YOU THIS.

THEN WHO TO YOU THINK-- I KNOWWE THINK IT'S JUST-- IT CAN'T BE

JUST DUMB PEOPLE OR WE SAY, WELLIT'S RACIST.

NO, NO, NO.

THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHOWE KNOW PEOPLE THAT YOU KNOW WHO

MIGHT BE VOTING FOR TRUMP.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

>> IF ANYONE KNOWS ME AND WEHANG OUT AND THEY'RE VOTING FOR

TRUMP, WE SHOULD NOT BE FRIENDS.

( APPLAUSE )>> Larry: WHAT IF IT'S

SOMEBODY IN THE BAND?

>> I MEAN, GOD'S SAKE.

>> Larry: FALL OUT BOY, ANDTHEY GO, "TRUMP!"

>> YOU'LL BE LIKE, "GET OUT!"I THINK THAT THE PEOPLE THAT

ARE-- THAT LIKE TRUMP ARE JUSTLIKE HIM.

THEY'RE -->> REALLY?

>> YEAH.

>> Larry: OR THEY WANT TO BELIKE HIM?

>> OR WANT TO BE-- I THINKTHEY'RE RACIST.

I THINK THEY'RE SEXIST.

I THINK THEY'RE ALARMISTS.

>> HE'S RALLYING THE IDIOTS.

HE'S RALLYING THE IDIOTS, THESAME PEOPLE THAT THOUGHT THE

CONFEDERATE FLAG SHOULDN'T COMEDOWN.

PEOPLE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD,YOU SHOULDN'T GET MARRIED.

"GAYS SHOULDN'T GET MARRIED!"YOU'RE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD,

GO HOME. PEOPLE HAVE NOTHINGBETTER TO BE UPSET ABOUT.

>> IT'S LIKE THE PERSONIFICATIONOF INTERNET COMMENTS.

"I'M THE BEST!">> Larry: FINALLY, COMMENTS IS

RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUTIRAQ, COMMENT?

( BLEEP ) I MEAN, HE ACTUALLY--THIS IS HOW MUCH OF A BULLY

TRUMP IS-- HE ACTUALLY-- THEYHAVE TO PAY $5 MILLION FOR THE

NEXT DEBATE.

DID YOU GUYS HEAR.

THIS?

>> JS.

>> Larry: $5 MILLION, AND HESAID I WOULD DONATE IT TO THE

VETS.

AND EVERYBODY LIKE, "YAY!

THE VETS."

IS HE SOME KIND OF EVIL GENIUS,RICK.

YOU GOTTA GIVE HIM THAT.

>> HE'S EVIL BUT HE'S NOT AGENIUS.

>> Larry: THE FACT THAT HE'SIN FIRST MIGHT MAKE HIM AN EVIL

GENIUS.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S EVIL.

>> Larry: IF HE BECOMESPRESIDENT WILL YOU GIVE THAT TO

HIM GICAN'T EVEN FATHOM OF HIMBEING MY PRESIDENT.

IT'S SUCH A CRAZY IDEA.

THAT DUDE IS GOING TO ( BLEEP ).

I THINK HE IS A GENIUS.

I THINK SOMEBODY WHO-- SOMEONEWHO'S RUNNING IT KIND OF IS.

HE PICKS AND CHOOSES WHAT FORUMSAND HOW HE SPEAKS IN CERTAIN

MEDIUMS.

HE SAYS THAT WHEN WH HE ISTALKING TO SUPPORTERS BUT WHEN

HE'S IN A DEBATE HE'S MEEK ANDWON'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

HE PICKS AND CHOOSES.

WE KEEP TALKING ABOUT HIM.

EVERYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT HIM.

HE DOESN'T NEED MEDIA RELATIONS.

IT'S HAPPENING FOR HIM.

>> ( BLEEP ) VIRAL VIDEO.

>> IF HE'S A GENIUS, WE ARE ALLIN TROUBLE.

IF THAT'S WHAT GENIUS IS, THENWE'RE-- YEAH.

>> Larry: AMERICA IS IN THEAPPLE STORE, AND HE'S BEHIND

THAT GENIUS BAR.

HE'S THE ONLY ONE WE WILL BEABLE TO GO TO.

>> AND HE WON'T GIVE USNEW HEADPHONES, NOTHING.

WE SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT APPLECARE.