November 3, 2015 - GOP Debate Gripes & Ben Carson's Rise

  • 11/03/2015

Republicans try to seize control of the presidential debates, and Larry discusses Ben Carson's unlikely political success with Ron Perlman, Crystal Wright and Jordan Carlos.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Larry: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

IT'S A GREAT CROWD.

>> LARRY!

LARRY!

LARRY.

>> Larry: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WELCOME TO "NIGHTLY SHOW."

I HAVE A GREAT SHOW.

AND I WANT TO SAY FOR THERECORD, I THINK PANTHERS SHOULD

DIRECT PANTHER MOVIES.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )IT'S NOT GONNA MAKE

SENSE OUT THERE, BUT TRUST ME.

THEY KNOW WHAT I'M TALKS ABOUT.

ACTOR RON PERLMAN JOINING US ONPANEL TONIGHT.

VERY EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )OH, BY THE WAY, BY THE WAY, BY

THE WAY, TODAY IS ELECTION DAY,IN EXACTLY ONE YEAR FROM WHEN

THE WHITE HOUSE WILL OFFICIALLYBE DE-NEGROFIED.

THAT MEANS IT'S TIME TO SEEWHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THE

UNBLACKENING.

( LAUGHTER )THE TOPIC TODAY IS THE G.O.P. IS

STILL COMPLAINING ABOUT THE WAYTHEY WERE TREATED DURING LAST

WEEK'S DEBATE, AND THEIR IRESEEMS TO BE CENTERED AROUND A

CERTAIN TYPE OF QUESTION.

>> GOTCHA QUESTIONS.

>> GOTCHA QUESTIONS.

>> GOTCHA QUESTIONS.

>> WE SHOULD HAVE MODERATORS WHOARE INTERESTED IN DISSEMINATING

THE INFORMATION ABOUT THECANDIDATES AS OPPOSED TO, YOU

KNOW, GOTCHA.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: OKAY, GOTCHA.

CREEPY DOCTOR, MR. ONE-MANHAUNTED HOUSE.

I GOT YOU.

( LAUGHTER )YOU KNOW, SEEMS LIKE IF YOU'RE

RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, YOUSHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE ANY

TYPE OF QUESTION.

YOU KNOW, FOR MORE ON THIS WE'REGOING TO OUR NEWEST AND

HILARIOUS CONTRIBUTOR,PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.

>> IT TURNS OUT, THEY CAN'THANDLE A BUNCH OF CNBC

MODERATORS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THOSE

GUYS...

( LAUGHTER )YOU KNOW, THEN, I DON'T THINK

THE CHINESE AND THE THE RUSSIANSARE GOING TO BE TOO WORRIED

ABOUT YOU.

>> Audience: OOOOH!

>> Larry: THE PRESIDENT ISFUNNY, MAN.

HE-- HE IS HILARIOUS.

KIND OF DOING MY JOB.

( LAUGHTER )SPENDING A LOT OF TIME JOKE

WRITING, MR. PRESIDENT.

MIGHT WANT TO USE SOME OF THATHILARIOUS INTERVIEW TO FIGURE

OUT ISIS.

>> Audience: OOH!

>> Larry: YEAH.

I JUST BURNED YOU.

PEOPLE WANT TO WATCH AN AFRICANTELL JOKES, GO WATCH "THE DAILY

SHOW," OKAY?

ALL RIGHT.

YEAH.

THIS IS MY HOUSE!

THIS IS MY HOUSE!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )OKAY, REPUBLICANS, WHAT CAN WE

DO TO MAKE YOUR JOB INTERVIEWEXPERIENCE FOR LEADER OF THE

FREE WORLD A LITTLE MORE TO YOURLIKING?

>> NO LIGHTNING ROUNDS, NO HANDRAISING.

>> OPENING AND CLOSING REMARKSOF AT LEAST 30 SECONDS.

>> EDITORIAL CONTROL OF THEGRAPHICS THAT ARE PUT UP ON THE

SCREEN WHILE THE CANDIDATES ARESPEAKING.

>> AND THE ROOM MUST BE 67DEGREES FAHRENHEIT OR COLDER.

>> THEY DON'T WANT TO FEELDISRESPECTED.

>> Larry: THEN WHY ARE THEY INPOLITICS!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I MEAN, DIS-- YOU DON'T GO INTO

POLITICS TO BE RESPECTED.

WHAT YOUR SECOND CHOICE OFPROFESSION, PORN?

IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

THIS IS SO NIT-PICKY.

THEY WANT TO HAVE EDITORIALCONTROL OF THE GRAPHICS?

I DON'T EVEN GET THAT.

( LAUGHTER )OH!

GUYS!

CUT IT OUT, PLEASE!

I KNOW IT'S TURTLES HUMPING,CUT IT OUT.

GOD LORD!

CANDIDATES, EVERYBODY THINKSYOU'RE JUST BEING A BUNCH OF

BABIES.

WHICH IS ACTUALLY INSULTING TOBABIES.

NO, IT IS.

IN FACT, THE NATIONAL COUNCILFOR BABIES JUST RELEASED THIS

STATEMENT.

"IT IS GRIEVOUSLY INSULTING TOTHE ENTIRE BABY COMMUNITY TO

EQUIVOCATE US WITH THE WHINEY,MANIPULATIVE G.O.P. HOPEFULS.

OUR DIAPERS MAY BE PULL OFPOOPOO, BUT UNLIKE THE

CANDIDATES TRYING TO WEASEL OUTOF TOUGH DEBATE QUESTIONS, WE

ARE NOT."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )VERY UPSET.

THEM BE SOME UPSET BABIES.

YOU KNOW, LET ME TELL YOU,NOBODY'S FILLING THEIR DIAPER

ABOUT MEDIA BIAS MORE THAN JEBBUSH.

AFTER AN EMBARRASSING SHOWING ATLAST WEEK'S DEBATE, JEB!

HAD THIS TO SAY AT A CAMPAIGNEVENT IN TAMPA.

>> IF LINCOLN WERE ALIVE TODAY,IMAGINE THE FOOLISHNESS

WOULD HAVE TO SUFFER.

THINK ABOUT IT.

ADVISERS TELLING HIM TO SHAVEHIS BEARD.

CABLE PUNDITS TELLING HIM TOLOSE THE TOP HAT.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: WRONG... IF LINCOLN

WERE ALIVE TODAY HE'D WONDERWHAT ARE CARS?

AND WHY ARE BLACK PEOPLE DRIVINGONE NAMED AFTER ME?

I DON'T-- WHY IS THAT-- ITDOESN'T...

( LAUGHTER )AND, JEB, PLEASE DON'T COMPARE

YOURSELF TO LINCOLN UNLESS THATLINCOLN IS LINCOLN CHAFEE NWHICH

CASE-- YES, YOU ARE BOTH DULLTURKEY LOOK-ALIKES WHO DON'T

KNOW HOW TO DEBATE, OKAY.

THAT MAKES SENSE.

I'M SORRY, JEB.

DID I DISRESPECT YOU.

WHY DON'T I TURN DOWN THE AIRCONDITIONING A LITTLE.

YEAH.

LARRY'S BURNING TONIGHT.

JEB'S GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS THANTHIS.

HE'S GONE FROM THIRD PLACE TOFIFTH PLACE IN THE NATIONAL

POLLS.

SO HOW IS SENOR PUNTO DEEXCLAMACION TRYING TO TAKE

CONTROL OF HIS CAMPAIGN?

>> HE HAS CHANGED HIS CAMPAIGNSLOGAN FROM JEB!

>> Larry: HE'S GETTING RID OFTHE EXCLAMATION POINT!

NO!

NO!

( CHEERS )I LOVE THAT LITTLE GUY!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

OKAY.

PULL IT TOGETHER, WILMORE.

I MEAN, HE HAD TO DO SOMETHING.

I GET IT.

HE'S ONLY AT 8% IN THE POLLS.

ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT'S HE CHANGESHIS SLOGAN TO, A QUESTION MARK?

( LAUGHTER )AN ASTERISK?

A PARENTHESIS?

>> HIS CAMPAIGN PEOPLE SAYYOU'RE GOING TO SEE A MORE

AGGRESSIVE JEB BUSH.

HE IS LAUNCHING A NEW CAMPAIGNWITH THE SLOGAN, "JEB CAN FIX

IT."

>> JEB CAN FIX IT.

>> JEB CAN FIX IT.

>> JEB CAN FIX IT.

>> JEB CAN FIX IT.

>> I CAN FIX IT.

>> Larry: JEB CAN FIX IT?

YOU KNOW, UNLESS YOU'RE RUNNINGTO BE THE NEW SUPER AT MY

APARTMENT BUILDING, THATSLOGAN DOESN'T MAKE YOU

QUALIFIED FOR THE JOB.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AND BESIDES, MY VOTE IS ALREADY

WITH MY BOY FRANKLIN.

FRANKLIN 2016-- BETTER SHOWERPRESSURE.

MY VOTE.

TALKING ABOUT FIXING IT.

HERE TO TALK MORE ABOUT THISCHANGE IN STRATEGY IS JEB'S

CAMPAIGN ADVISER LIZA DELGADO.

ALIZE AWELCOME TO THE SHOW.

>> HI, LARRY.

>> SO WHAT'S UP WITH THIS NEWSLOGAN?

>> OH, LARRY, IT IS ALL ABOUTFIXING IT.

THIS COUNTRY'S BROKEN.

AND JEB IS A ONE-MAN GENIUS BAR.

>> Larry: BUT, HOLD ON, BUTYOUR CAMPAIGN IS HEMORRHAGING

MONEY.

I MEAN YOU HAD TO CUT PAYROLLCOSTS BY 40% AND DOWNSIZE YOUR

MIAMI HEADQUARTERS.

>> THAT IS RIGHT.

JEB'S FIXED OUR PROBLEM WITH ALARGER OFFICE BY MOVING US TO A

SMALLER ONE.

HE'S AMERICA'S DUCT TAPE.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Larry: BUT YOUR RECRUITINGNUMBERS ARE HORRIBLE.

YOUR STAFF IN IOWA MADE 70,000PHONE CALLS AND ONLY RECRUITED

FOUR VOLUNTEERS.

SHOULDN'T HE BE CONCERNED?

>> CONCERNED.

WE HAD 0 VOLUNTEERS.

NOW THERE ARE FOUR.

400% INCREASE.

FIX IT!

>> Larry: HOW YOU CAN BE SOUPBEAT WHEN THE GOVERNOR SLIPPED

IN THE POLLS.

>> EVERYBODY TOLD US WE GOT TOGET OUT OF THIRD PLACE.

WHAT DID JEB DO?

HE FIXED IT!

>> HE FIXED IT INTO FIFTH PLACE.

>> BUT WE'RE OUT OF THIRD,LARRY.

JEB'S GOING TO FIX THE FINALNUMBER LATER.

YOU CAN ONLY FIX ONE THING AT ATIME.

>> Larry: IT LOOKS LIKE HECAN'T FIX ANYTHING AT ALL.

>> UH, REALLY?

AS THE SON OF A ONE-TERMPRESIDENT JEB PULLED HIMSELF UP

BY HIS FATHER'S BOOTSTRAPS.

AND WHEN HIS BROTHER W. TANKEDTHE ECONOMY, TELL ME WHO FIXED

IT?

>> OBAMA?

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

ALLOW ME TO FIX YOUR ANSWER,LARRY.

IT WAS JEB.

HE CAN FIX ALL.

>> Larry: JEB DIDN'T FIX IT.

NOW YOU'RE JUST SAYING THE WORD"FIX IT."

IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

>> LARRY, THE AMERICAN PEOPLEARE NOT INTERESTED IN THINGS

MAKING SENSE.

I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE INTERESTEDIN?

>> Larry: FIXING IT.

>> LARRY, EXCLAMATION POINT!

LOOK AT THIS GUY!!

>> Larry: ALL RIGHT, WE'REDONE HERE.

LIZA DELGADO, EVERYONE.

>> HE'S GOING TO FIX IT ALL.

HE'S GOING TO FIX YOU.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

WE TALKED ABOUT THE UNBLACKENINGTONIGHT, GIVEN THE SUCCESS OF

BEN CARSON, WE MAY HAVE AREBLACKENING.

I JUST LOVE WATCHING THAT.

THAT'S HOW THAT GOES.

BUT I HAVE TO SAY, GUYS, I DON'TUNDERSTAND BEN CARSON'S SUCCESS.

I MEAN HE DOESN'T SEENCHARISMATIC TO ME.

HE HAS NO POLITICAL EXPERIENCE.

I DON'T WHAN HIS VISION IS.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE HASVISION.

HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S ASLEEP ALLTHE TIME.

I JUST DON'T GET IT.

BUT HE CERTAINLY HAS PUT A SPELLON A PART OF THE REPUBLICAN

ELECTORATE, SO TO HELP US WRAPOUR BRAINS AROUND THINGS WE CAN

COMPREHEND WE'RE INTRODUCING ANEW SEGMENT ON THE SHOW CALLED,

"BLACK MAGIC."

ALL RIGHT!

NOW, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO BEDOING MAGIC, I BROUGHT IN SOME

WITNESSES SO YOU KNOW THIS STUFFIS LEGIT.

THANK YOU, WITNESSES.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )SO LET'S ASSUME FOR A MOMENT

THAT BEN CARSON IS A MAGICIAN.

THINK ABOUT IT.

HE SPEAKS IN A SOOTHING,HYPNOTIC VOICE.

HE SAWED A PAIR OF TWINS INHALF.

HE MADE JEB BUSH'S DREAMSDISAPPEAR.

( LAUGHTER )OKAY, NOW, TAKE THIS DECK OF

CARDS AND LET'S ASSUME THAT BENCARSON IS A JACK OF CLUBS,

ORDINARY JACK.

NOW HE STARTS OFF HERE IN THEMIDDLE OF THE PACK, BUT AS YOU

CAN SEE NO ONE ELSE IN THE RACELOOKED LIKE HIM.

AND HE CERTAINLY IS NOT ON TOP.

BUT CARSON IS WHAT MAGICIANSCALL AN AMBITIOUS CARD, AND EVEN

THOUGH HE WAS ONLY POLLING AT 5%IN JUNE.

NOW HE'S BACK ON TOP.

( BLEEP )!

>> A WILD CARD!

>> Larry: GUYS.

>> HOW DID HE DO THAT!

HOW DID HE DO THAT?

>> Larry: I'VE EXPLAINED THISON THE SHOW BEFORE.

BLACK PEOPLE ARE A LITTLE WARYOF MAGIC.

( LAUGHTER )THEY TEND TO BLACK REACT IT.

NO, I KNOW, IT'S NOT RACISM.

IT'S JUST SCIENCE.

IT'S TRUE.

HERE'S AN EXAMPLE OF DAVIDBLAINE DEALING WITH THIS.

I'VE SHOWED THIS BEFORE.

>> OPEN IT.

OPEN IT.

>> AH!

>> Larry: MY BAD.

I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE MENTIONEDTHAT BEFORE.

BUT HERE'S THE THING-- CARSONISN'T JUST ANY MAGICIAN.

HE'S A REGULAR HOUDINI.

EVEN WHEN THE PUNDITS TRIED TOPLACE HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE

PACK AND TRIED TO BIND HIM--WHERE'S MY-- OH, HERE'S MY-- AND

TRY TO BIND HIM TOUNELECTABILITY BECAUSE OF THE

WACK THING HE SAID LIKEOBAMACARE IS WORSE THAN SLAVERY

AND THE HOLOCAUST WOULDN'T HAVEHAPPENED IF PEOPLE WERE ARMED.

DON'T BLINK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

YOU DON'T SEE THAT!

YOU DON'T SEE THAT!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!

GET OUT OF HERE!

GET OUT OF HERE!

WHERE YOU FROM, Y'ALL?

>> Larry: HOW DOES HE DO IT?

MOST OF WHAT COMES OUT OFCARSON'S MOUTH IS UNBELIEVABLE

BUT EVERY MAGICIAN WORTH HISWAND FULL OF FLOWERS KNOWS THAT

THE REASON MAGIC WORKS IS PEOPLEJUST WANT TO BELIEVE.

( BLEEP ).

( BLEEP ).

>> Larry: GUYS!

GUYS!

REMEMBER THIS, EVEN THOUGHSOMETHING IS AMAZING, IT'S NOT

REAL, IT'S NOT REAL.

IT'S FAKE.

IT'S NOT REAL.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

IT'S NOT REAL.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL.

FIRST UP, NIGHTLY SHOWCONTRIBUTOR JORDAN CARLOS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )SHE'S THE EDITOR OF THE BLOG

"CONSERVATIVE BLACK CHICK,"CRYSTAL WRIGHT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AND HIS NEW MEMOIR, "EASY STREET

(THE HARD WAY)," IS IN STORESNOW, ACTOR RON PERLMAN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AND FOR EVERYONE AT HOME, JOIN

OUR CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW ONTWITTER @NIGHTLYSHOW USING THE

HASHTAG "TONIGHTLY."

SO WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BENCARSON EARLIER.

HE'S OFFICIALLY AT NUMBER ONE INTHE POLLS.

HE'S AT 29, TRUMP IS AT 23.

I GUESS IT'S AN AGGREGATE OF THENATIONAL.

>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> Larry: I JUST DON'TUNDERSTAND TRUMP, AND I MEAN

CARSON-- I DON'T UNDERSTANDTRUMP, EITHER, BUT I DON'T

UNDERSTAND CARSON, TRUMP FOR ADIFFERENT REASON.

I KIND OF GET TRUMP.

TRUMP'S GOT A MESSAGE.

HE'S VERY CLEAR.

HE'S GOING TO ( BLEEP ) FOR US.

I GET IT, RIGHT.

I MEAN, CARSON, TO ME, YEAH,HE'S A GOOD DOCTOR, BUT HE'S

KIND OF LIKE BLACK DROOPY THEDOG.

AND WHO DOESN'T LIKE BLACKDROOPY.

I GET THAT.

THAT ONLY EXPLAINS THIRD PLACE.

WHAT EXPLAINS FIRST PLACE.

>> I'M AS MIFFED AS YOU ARE,BECAUSE, HONESTLY, I THINK HE

HAS ALL THE PERSONALITY OF AQUAALUDE, AND HE'S EVEN HARDER

TO SWALLOW, SO I-- I'M ALITTLE-- QUAALUDE FANS--

>> YOU KNOW-->> THERE'S A KIND OF A HAPPY

ENDING TO A QUAALUDE.

>> YOU'RE RIGHT.

>> I READ ABOUT THAT IN THEBOOK.

>> I KIND OF AGREE WITH JORDANAND RON.

BUT I DON'T THINK-- I THINK-->> THAT'S NEVER GOING TO WORK.

>> NO, I DON'T THINK CARSON IS,LIKE A QUAALUDE.

I THINK HE'S LIKE A CAN OFMARSHMALLOW FLUFF.

I LIKE TRUMP.

I WOULDN'T SAY I'M ENDORSING HIMNOW, BUT I THINK CARSON IS

RISING IN THE POLLS BECAUSE HE'SAPPEALING TO THE ANGRY OLD WHITE

MALE VOTER, WHICH IS THE BASE OFOUR PARTY.

WE DON'T NEED ANY MORE WHITEVOTES, FOLK.

>> Larry: THE ANGRY WHITEMALES VOTING FOR CARSON?

>> YES.

AND IT'S LIKE THE EVANGELICALSBECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONES THAT

EVERYBODY WANTS-- EVERYBODYWANTS TO US BELIEVE IT'S THE OLD

ANGRY WHITE GUYS, IF THEY HADONLY VOTED WHEN ROMNEY RAN IN

2012, HE WOULD BE IN THE WHITEHOUSE.

I HATE TO TELL THEM, HE DIDN'THAVE ENOUGH-- YOU KNOW, IT'S

ABOUT PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE MEAND JORDAN AND HISPANICS AND

WOMEN WITH VAGINAS, ANDUNFORTUNATELY THE REPUBLICAN

PARTY LOSES ON ALL THOSE.

I'M KIND OF FLUMMOXED LIKE YOU.

THE CARSON PHENOM I THINKPEOPLE JUST DON'T KNOW WHO HE

IS.

HE'S LIKE A BLANK CANVAS.

>> HE'S TELLING US WHO HE IS,EXACTLY.

HE SAID HE USED TO COME ATPEOPLE WITH, LIKE, BRICK BATS

AND HAMMERS AND THINGS LIKETHAT.

AND PEOPLE WERE LIKE, OH HE'STHE BEST.

>> HE SAID HE CAME AT SOMEBODYWITH A HUNTING KNIFE.

>> Larry: WHY DO YOU THINKHE'S GETTING A PASS ON SOME OF

THE STUFF HE SAYS?

PEOPLE JUST DON'T SEEM TO CARE.

HE COMPARED OBAMACARE TOSLAVERY.

I MEAN, SLAVERY WAS PRETTY BAD.

I DON'T IT'S LIKE HEALTH CARE.

I MEAN, HEALTH CARE AS BAD ASBUREAUCRACY CAN GET--

>> IT'S NOT AS BAD AS SLAVERY.

>> YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO THEEMERGENCY ROOM IN THE BRONX.

>> Larry: OH?

>>>> REMEMBER 999 MAN.

HERMAN CAIN.

EVERYBODY REMEMBERS HIM.

HERMAN CAIN AT THIS TIME IN THECAMPAIGN IN 2012 WAS AHEAD OF

ROMNEY.

LOOK, CARSON'S GOING TO GO AWAY.

HE WON'T BE THE NEXT NEGRO INTHE WHITE HOUSE.

I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT.

I THINK WE CHECKED THE BOXONCE-- NO OFFENSE.

I SAY THIS TONGUE IN CHEEK.

>> Larry: WE'RE NOT GOING TOGO BLACK TO BLACK.

>> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVEBACK-TO-BACK BLACK IN THE WHITE

HOUSE.

I THINK THEY'RE LIKE -->> YOU SAID ANGRY WHITE MEN ARE

VOTING FOR CARSON.

>> THEY ARE.

YOU CAN-- BUT IT'S BECAUSE -->> ARE THEY ANGRY BECAUSE

THEY'RE VOTING FOR CARSON LIKETHAT'S THE ONLY CHOICE THEY

HAVE.

LIKE, "THIS IS OUR CHOICE!">> THIS IS OUR CHOICE TO GET

BEHIND A REAL BLACK.

YOU KNOW WHO SAID THAT, RIGHT.

>> Larry: RUPERT SAID IT.

>> DO YOU THINK IT'S A SYMPTOMOF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY JUST

FEELING BROKEN NOW.

I FEEL LIKE THEY CANNIBALIZED ALOT OF GOOD CANDIDATES.

>> RIGHT.

THERE'S BEEN A PREMIUM PUT ONTHE AMATEUR AND I KNOW CARSON

KEEPS CHAMPIONING, I HAVE NOEXPERIENCE."

WOULD HE WANT A BRAIN SURGEON TOWORK ON HIM WHO HAD ZERO

EXPERIENCE?

VERY DOUBTFUL.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )IT'S GOING TO BE A LITTLE HARD

TO FIND A RUNNING MATE IF HEGETS THE NOMINATION THAT HAS

LESS EXPERIENCE.

HE'S GOING TO NEED, LIKE, THREELITTLE KIDS IN A TRENCH COAT,

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> Larry: THE NO EXPERIENCEPLOY DOESN'T TEND TO PLAY OUT

THAT WELL.

YOU KNOW.

>> I MEAN, THERE ARE A LOT OFPOLITICIANS WHO END UP DOING

WELL THAT DON'T COME INTO OFFICE--

>> PRESIDENT?

>> PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA?

HE DIDN'T HAVE A TON OFEXPERIENCE.

HE WAS AN ACTIVIST.

I DON'T KNOW IF HE ACCOMPLISHEDA LOT.

HE WAS CRITICIZED LIKE RUBIO ISBEING CRITICIZED.

WHAT DID OBAMA ACCOMPLISH.

>> Larry: RUBIO ACTUALLY HAS--HE IS IN GOVERNMENT--

>> THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S DOINGANYTHING.

>> GUYS, THERE IS A TIME FORAMATEURS AND IT'S IN PORN, NO

PLACE ELSE.

RON, DO YOU AGREE WITH THAT?

>> SOME OF MY FAVORITE PORN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AND SOME OF MY FAVORITE

SENATORS.

>> Larry: DO YOU THINK CARSONHAS AN ACTUAL CHANCE TO WIN THE

NOMINATION?

>> ABSOLUTELY NOT, ABSOLUTELYNOT WHICH IS WHY I'M PERSONALLY

ROOTING FOR HIM LIKE CRAZY.

I'M NOT SURE IF I'M ROOTING MOREFOR HIM OR FOR TRUMP.

BECAUSE I THINK-- BECAUSE IJUST-- I FEEL LIKE--

>> DONALD TRUMP ACTUALLY HAS ACHANCE OF WINNING THE

NOMINATION.

>> YOU THINK?

>> I DO.

>> Larry: I AGREE WITH THAT.

>> AND I THINK BECAUSE HE'STALKING ABOUT ISSUES, AGAIN, NOT

IN THIS RHETORIC-- HILLARYCLINTON CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HER

FAVORITE ICE CREAM WITHOUTSAYING, "HOLD ON A MINUTE, IF I

SAY CHOCOLATE I'LL PISS OFF THEWHITES.

IF I SAY NEAPOLITAN-- THAT'S IT.

TRUMP, HE TALKS LIKE WE TALKPROBABLY IN OUR KITCHEN, IN OUR

BEDROOM-->> IT'S NOT ALL THAT GOOD.

>> I THINK IT IS GOOD.

I THINK IT'S LANGUAGE PEOPLE CANUNDERSTAND.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I LIKE IT!

>> I'M REALLY LIKE HOPING ANDPRAYING FOR SOMEBODY THAT TALKS

WAY BETTER THAN ME.

>> Larry: IS RACE AN ISSUEWITH CARSON AT ALL?

>> IS RACE AN ISSUE.

I THINK CARSON IS ONE OF THEONLY PEOPLE IN THE G.O.P. WHO IS

GOOD AT IT.

WHEN IT COMES WHOEVER THEY THROWUP, I DON'T SEE RACE.

I'M NOT GOING TO VOTE FOR THEM.

THE CRAZY STUFF THEY SAY, HE'SLIKE, "HEY, MAN, IF THE JEWS HAD

GUNS, THERE WOULD BE NOHOLOCAUST."

YOU MADE A DEMOCRATIC VOTER OUTOF ME, MY FRIEND.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Larry: I DON'T THINK WE'LLBE ABE TO FIGURE THIS OUT BUT

YOU'LL SEE.

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE YEARS WHEREI SAY YOU NEVER, EVER KNOW.

PRESIDENT BEN CARSON?

AAHH!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> YOU LIVE IN THE NEW YORK CITYAREA OR PLANNING TO VISIT, GRAB

SOME FREE TICKETS TO AN UPCOMINGTAPING OF "NIGHTLY SHOW."

THE SHOW TAPES MONDAY THROUGHTHURSDAY.