In this episode, should soldiers be paid for their war stories? If so, I owe grandpa a couple of hundred grand. And the big news from the annual leatherback turtle migration -- this is the first year I'm not planning to eat one! Then, author Vali Nasr says the Sunni-Shia conflict is the real source of the conflict in the Middle East. I told you it wasn't our fault! The Colbert promise: if you don't like this show, your money back (cable fees not included). This is The Colbert Report.