January 19, 2015 - State of the Black Protest

  • 01/19/2015

Larry discusses the backlash over the Oscar nominations' lack of diversity and the success of recent protests with Cory Booker, Talib Kweli, Bill Burr and Shenaz Treasury.

>> Larry: TONIGHTLY: THEOSCAR NOMINATIONS ARE OUT, AND

THEY'RE SO WHITE, A GRAND JURYHAS DECIDED NOT TO INDICT THEM.

(LAUGHTER)OPRAH MARCHED ON SELMA THIS

WEEKEND.

SHE HAS A DREAM...

THAT "SELMA" SHALL OVERCOME THE"WEDDING RINGER" AT THE BOX

OFFICE.

(LAUGHTER)WE TALK SELMA, FERGUSON AND ERIC

GARNER.

IT'S COMEDY CENTRAL'S WORSTNIGHTMARE!

A BROTHER FINALLY GETS A SHOW ONLATE NIGHT TV.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BUT, OF COURSE, HE'S GOT TO WORK

ON MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY.

LET'S DO THIS!

>> Larry: BRING UP THE LIGHTS!

BRING IT UP!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

CALM DOWN!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.

MAN, SO EXCITING.

I FEEL LIKE THERE'S SO MUCH TOTALK ABOUT.

ESPECIALLY IF I HAD THE SHOW AYEAR AGO!

(LAUGHTER)ALL OF THE GOOD BAD RACE STUFF

HAPPENED ALREADY!

THERE'S NONE LEFT.

WE'RE DONE.

HAPPY M.L.K. DAY, EVERYBODY!

ACTUALLY, WAIT, THERE'S A 2015INJUSTICE THAT'S BUGGING ME.

I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUTTHE OSCAR NOMINATIONS.

OR LACK THEREOF.

A VERY POWERFUL MOTION PICTUREWAS SNUBBED.

THIS FILM'S MESSAGE IS ASPOIGNANT TODAY AS IT WOULD HAVE

BEEN WHEN I WAS A KID.

("EVERYTHING IS AWESOME" SONGFROM THE LEGO MOVIE)

♪ EVERYTHING IS AWESOME ♪ EVERYTHING IS COOL WHEN YOU'RE

PART OF A TEAM ♪♪ EVERYTHING IS AWESOME! ♪

>> Larry: NO, EVERYTHING ISNOT AWESOME!

HOW DID THE LEGO MOVIE NOT GETNOMINATED FOR BEST PICTURE?

GOD, THIS WAS SHOCKING!

IN LESS SHOCKING NEWS, THIS ALSOHAPPENED.

>> WHILE THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVIE"SELMA" EARNED A BEST PICTURE

NOMINATION, DIRECTOR AVADUVERNAY WAS SNUBBED.

>> SO WAS LEAD ACTOR DAVIDOYELOWO.

>> Larry: OH, BLACK PEOPLEDIDN'T GET NOMINATED FOR AN

OSCAR?

YEAH, I'M MAD, I GUESS.

DON'T GET ME WRONG.

AVA DUVERNAY SHOULD DEFINITELYHAVE BEEN NOMINATED FOR BEST

DIRECTOR.

BUT DAVID OYELOWO?

HE'S A BRITISH BROTHER. I DON'TREALLY CARE ABOUT THEM

SO WHAT DO WE AS A PEOPLE NEEDTO DO?

I WISH THERE WERE A BLACKHOLLYWOOD EXPERT WHO COULD GO TO

BAT FOR US.

>> REVEREND SHARPTON CALLED FORAN EMERGENCY MEETING HERE IN

HOLLYWOOD NEXT WEEK TO DISCUSSPOSSIBLE ACTION AROUND THE

ACADEMY AWARDS.

>> Larry: SHARPTON?

AGAIN?

NO ONE ELSE CAN REPRESENT US?

LOOK, AL, SLOW DOWN.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO RESPOND TOEVERY BLACK EMERGENCY.

YOU'RE NOT BLACK BATMAN OR OURRACIAL FIRE CHIEF.

I'M BEGINNING TO THINK A TYPICALDAY AT AL SHARPTON'S OFFICE

LOOKS LIKE THIS.

>> THANK YOU.

WE GOT ONE!

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: TRUE.

TRUE.

LOOK AT YOURSELF, AL SHARPTON.

I APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORTS, PUTYOU'RE LITERALLY STRETCHING

YOURSELF THIN.

TAKE A BREAK, MAN.

SERIOUSLY.

THEY'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

AL,

YOU NEED TO EAT FOOD.

NOT JUST AIR TIME.

OKAY.

SOMETHING ABOUT THIS JUSTDOESN'T SEEM RIGHT.

ARE WE PROTESTING TOO MANYTHINGS HERE?

SINCE IT'S M.L.K. DAY, AND SINCEHE'S THE PATRON SAINT OF

NON-VIOLENT PROTESTERS -- SUCKIT, GANDHI! --

WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THESTATE OF THE BLACK PROTEST.

AND THERE WERE A LOT OF THEMTHIS YEAR.

THERE WAS THE FERGUSON PROTEST,THE GARNER PROTEST, AND THEN THE

NYPD PROTEST OF THE HANDLING OFTHAT PROTEST.

THEN THERE WAS A BLACK BRUNCHPROTEST.

YESTERDAY IN OAKLAND, PEOPLEWERE PROTESTING POLICE VIOLENCE.

AND EVEN AS I SPEAK TONIGHT,THERE'S A DEMONSTRATION GOING ON

IN GRAND CENTRAL STATION,BECAUSE THERE'S NO BETTER WAY TO

WIN THE HEARTS AND MINDS OFWHITE PEOPLE THAN MAKING THEM

MISS THEIR TRAIN TO CONNECTICUT.

(APPLAUSE)>> Larry: IT'S TRUE!

THEY HATE THAT (BLEEP)!

(LAUGHTER)NO, I GET IT.

SOME PEOPLE ARE DISCOURAGED.

THEY THINK PROTESTS DON'T WORKANYMORE.

BUT PROTESTS CAN WORK.

LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW EXAMPLES.

400,000 PEOPLE MARCHED INNEW YORK TO PROTEST CLIMATE

CHANGE IN SEPTEMBER, AND ITSUCCEEDED AS AMERICA AND CHINA

SIGNED A CLIMATE ACCORD A FEWMONTHS LATER.

WOW.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I MEAN, MORE POWER TO THESE

FOLKS BECAUSE IF WE DON'T FIGURETHIS OUT, THEN IT WON'T JUST BE

BLACK PEOPLE SAYING "I CAN'TBREATHE."

(AUDIENCE REACTS)OH, TOO SOON?

TOO SOON?

YEAH, I CHOKED HIM, THANK YOUVERY MUCH.

AND DON'T FORGET THEMINIMUM-WAGE PROTEST LAST YEAR.

FAST FOOD WORKERS TOOK TO THESTREETS DEMANDING A RAISE IN

THEIR PAY...

AND IT WORKED -- THEMINIMUM-WAGE ROSE IN 21 STATES

TO START THE NEW YEAR, LEAVINGUNDERPAID CHIPOTLE EMPLOYEES

MUCH CLOSER TO ONE DAY BEINGABLE TO AFFORD CHIPOTLE.

ONE DAY, GUYS, IT'S COMING ONEDAY.

DON'T TRY TO GET IT ALL AT ONCE.

AND FINALLY, GUYS, THIS IS THEMOST AMAZING PROTEST OF THEM

ALL, AND I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.

THE ORGANIZATION "HARRY POTTERALLIANCE" WAGED A FIGHT WITH

WARNER BROTHERS TO ENSURE THATALL CHOCOLATE SOLD WITH HARRY

POTTER'S LIKENESS WAS FAIRTRADE, AND EVEN THAT WORKED!

WHAT?

THAT WORKED!

AND I HAVE TO SAY, AS HAPPY AS IAM FOR THE

GRYFFINDOR WIN, AFTER FERGUSONAND GARNER, IT BUGS ME A LITTLE

BIT THAT IN 2014 THIS IS THEONLY CHOCOLATE THAT GOT JUSTICE.

(APPLAUSE)BUT MY POINT IS, IT SUCCEEDED.

SO THEY CAN WORK!

LET'S LOOK AT THE REALSITUATION.

MANY CRITICS CALLED THE RECENTBLACK PROTESTS UNFOCUSED.

I WON'T MENTION ANY NAMES.

(COUGHS)OPRAH.

SORRY.

I HAD SOMETHING STUCK IN MYSTEDMAN.

NOT CALLING ANYBODY OUT, BUT INFAIRNESS IT'S NOT COMPLETELY

INACCURATE.

YOU SEE, IT'S NOT THAT THESEPROTESTS ARE LESS FOCUSED, IT'S

THAT THE GOALS ARE LESSTANGIBLE.

IN THE OLD DAYS, IT WAS ABOUTBEING ABLE TO SIT AT A LUNCH

COUNTER OR GOING TO THE SAMESCHOOLS OR EVEN VOTING.

TODAY WE'RE JUST TRYING TO NOTGET SHOT ON OUR WAY TO WORK.

NOW LOOK, I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKEI'M EXAGGERATING AND PEOPLE MAY

THINK, "LARRY, CALM DOWN, POLICEAREN'T TARGETING BLACK GUYS ."

OKAY, ROLL 122.

>> TONIGHT, A SOUTH FLORIDAFAMILY IS OUTRAGED BY THIS IMAGE

RIGHT HERE AND OTHERS.

THEY SAY NORTH MIAMI BEACHPOLICE USED IT AND THE IMAGES OF

FIVE OTHER MINORITIES AS TARGETSDURING WEAPONS TRAINING.

>> PEOPLE THAT ARE OUT THERESUPPOSED TO BE PROTECTING US ARE

USING US AS TARGET PRACTICE.

>> Larry: THAT STORY WASREPORTED WAY BACK IN...

TODAY.

OKAY?

(LAUGHTER)THE POLICE IN FLORIDA ARE

LITERALLY USING PICTURES OFYOUNG BLACK MEN AS TARGETS!

HOW CAN WE SEE THAT AND BESURPRISED WHEN IT HAPPENS IN

REAL LIFE?

I'M NOT SURPRISED WHEN KOBE HITSA JUMPER.

THAT DUDE PRACTICES!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: OKAY!

WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW! WE'RECONTINUING OUR DISCUSSION

ON PROTESTS AND THE STATE OFPROTESTS.

JOINING US IS OUR VERY OWN "THENIGHTLY SHOW" CONTRIBUTOR,

SHENAZ TREASURY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: HIP-HOP ARTIST AND

ACTIVIST TALIB KWELI!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: NEW JERSEY SENATOR

CORY BOOKER(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

AND COMEDIAN AND CO-STAR OF THEFILM "BLACK OR WHITE BILL BURR!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)SENATOR , I WANT TO

START WITH YOU. I REMEMBER AFTERTHE RODNEY KING RIOTS --

>> FIRST OF ALL,CONGRATULATIONS!

Larry: OH, THANK YOU.>> IT'S AN HONOR TO BE AMONGST

YOUR FIRST GUESTS, I HOPE WEDON'T MESS IT UP FOR YOU

>> Larry: NO, ALL THAT IS GOOD,JUST KEEP GOING. I'M

HONORED THAT YOU WOULD BE HERE.

YOU WROTE AN ARTICLEAFTER THE RODNEY KING RIOTS.

YOU SAID, "I'M A BLACK MAN.

I AM 6 FEET 3 INCHES TALL AND230 POUNDS, JUST LIKE KING.

DO I SCARE YOU?">> YEAH.

>> Larry: SO 23 YEARS LATERDOES SOMEONE LIKE YOU STILL

SCARE PEOPLE?

>> I WROTE THAT ARGUMENT ANDREPOSTED IT DURING FERGUSON

I'M A SENATOR NOW BUT WHEN I WAS22 OR 23, I WANTED TO

LET THE RAWNESS TO HAVE THEEXPERIENCE COME BACK OUT.

>> Larry: THE SITUATIONS ARENOT MADE UP.

YOU LOOK VERY NICE IN A SUIT. DOYOU FEEL LIKE

YOU'RE JUST A HOODIE AWAY FROMBEING FACE DOWN ON THE

PAVEMENT?

(LAUGHTER)THERE WAS A PICTURE OF YOU AND

TALIB WHERE YOU'RE IN A HOODIESTANDING NEXT TO TALIB

YOU WERE ON THE FRONT LINES OFFERGUSON, I SAW SOME INTERVIEWS

ON CNN, DID IT FEEL LIKE ANY OFTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE?

>> FOR ME PERSONALLY, IT ALWAYSDOES. PROTEST IS A LONG GAME

YOU THINK MONTGOMERY BUSBOYCOTTS IS NOT SO FAR IN THE

PAST AND THAT TOOK A YEAR AND AHALF. AND THAT WAS VERY

STRATETIC. THEY CHOSEROSA PARKS TO BE THE PERSON.

>> Larry: DOES IT EVER SEEMLIKE THINGS GET WORSE BECAUSE

WE'RE OUT THERE PROTESTING?BILL, ARE WHITE PEOPLE TIRED

OF BLACK PROTESTS?

SPEAKING FOR ALL WHITE PEOPLE -->> I HAVE TO BE HONEST, I DON'T

KNOW.

IS PROTESTING LEGAL, WOULD BE MYQUESTION BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE

THEY SAY IT IS BUT THEN THE COPSSHOW UP IMMEDIATELY AND THERE'S

A FIGHT AND EVERYBODY GETSARRESTED AND IT'S OVER.

SO I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'REALLOWED TO.

>> Larry: SHENAZ, IS ITDIFFERENT IN INDIA FOR YOU

GUYS? DO YOU RELATE TO WHAT'SGOING ON HERE?

>> OF COURSE WE RELATE. GANDHISTARTED THE WHOLE IDEA OF

NON-VIOLENT PROTESTING.

MAYBE SOMEBODY SHOULD GO ON AHUNGER STRIKE.

>> Larry: GOOD LUCK WITHAMERICANS. IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN

>> I DON'T BLAME YOU GUYSBECAUSE YOU HAVE 99-CENT MENUS

AND ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFETS, SOEVEN MAHATMA GANDHI WOULD BE

TEMPTED TO EAT.>> KING SAID IT SO ELOQUENTLY,

HE SAID YOU SHOULD CONDEMNVIOLENCE BUT YOU SHOULD

CONDEMN THE UNDERLYINGCONDITIONS WHICH PEOPLE ARE

PROTESTING.

>> WHEN PEOPLE ARE SAYING BLACKON BLACK CRIMES, "BLACK LIVES

MATTER," WHERE BLACKS ARE BEINGKILLED.

>> THE LAST 30 YEARS ALONE, OURFEDERAL PRISON POPULATION

INCREASED 800%.

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING TO BEPROUD OF AS AMERICANS.

>> Larry: NO.

OVER 70% ARE NON-VIOLENTOFFENDERS.

SO WE'VE CREATED A CRIMINALCULTURE WITHIN OUR COUNTRY WHERE

WE ARE PUSHING MORE AND MOREPEOPLE INTO THIS VERY TAXPAYER

EXTENSIVE SYSTEM WHERE WE ARESPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON JAILS

AND PRISON AND PROBATIONAND COURTS AND NOT INVESTING IN

CRITICAL THINGS LIKE EDUCATION,INFRASTRUCTURE, EMPOWERING

PEOPLE TO SUCCEED IN THE FIRSTPLACE AND THAT'S SOMETHING

THAT SHOULD BE PROTESTED ANDCHANGED.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: I AGREE.

ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

SO, BILL, IS THE ANSWER FOR LESSBLACK PEOPLE IN PRISON MAYBE

MORE WHITE PEOPLE IN PRISON?

>> YES!

ABSOLUTELY!(LAUGHTER)

>> Larry: SORRY TO MAKE YOU THEWHITE FOIL

>> EXACTLY! HOW DID I END UP ONTHIS SHOW?

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: BILL KEEPS IT REAL

MORE THAN ANY COMEDIAN OUTTHERE.

>> SITTING HERE WITH MY ARYANHAIRCUT. IT'S NOT A GOOD LOOK

(LAUGHTER)CHECK IT OUT.

>> I READ 93% OF BLACK PEOPLEKILL BLACK PEOPLE BUT 84% OF

WHITE PEOPLE KILL WHITE PEOPLESO WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT THAT?

>> Larry: LET'S BE CLEAR,THESE AREN'T INCIDENTS THAT

HAPPEN IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY.

WE ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITHTHE POLICE, LET'S BE CLEAR ABOUT

THAT AND OUR RELATIONSHIP ISREALLY (BLEEP) UP AT THIS POINT.

NO, I'M SERIOUS, AND WHEN THEANGER COMES OUT, WE'RE

REACTING TO THE RELATIONSHIPTHAT SPANS BACK YEARS.

>> AND THE RAGE, THE ARTICLE YOUBROUGHT UP, I EXPRESSED THAT,

BUT IF WE REDUCE THIS TO ABINARY THING, COPS VERSUS

BLACKS, THAT'S MISSING THEENTIRE POINT.

Larry: I REDUCE EVERYTHING TO ABINARY THING, FOR THE RECORD

>> OK. BUT AS A GUY WHO SAW MORECOURAGE AMONGST POLICE,

WE'VE GOT TO GET INTO ACONVERSATION THAT'S LEADING WITH

LOVE.(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Larry: YOU WANT TO SAY

SOMETHING?

>> YEAH.

YOU KNOW, I THINK THOSE AREIMPORTANT POINTS.

IT'S NOT ABOUT FRACTURING THECOMMUNITY MORE, IT'S ABOUT A

COMMUNITY.

YOU KNOW, BUT IN ACTIVISTMOVEMENTS YOU HAVE WHAT'S CALLED

SOLIDARITY AND YOU REALIZE WHATWE'RE FIGHTING FOR SO YOU DON'T

GO TO A RALLY TO BEAT CANCERAND SAY, WELL, ALL DISEASES

MATTER.(LAUGHTER)

YOU KNOW, IN THE SAME INSTANCE--

>> Larry: IT WOULDN'T BE A BADMESSAGE

YEAH, TECHNICALLY, BUT YOU'RERIGHT.

ALL DISEASES DO KINDA MATTER

>> YEAH, WE'LL DO THAT TOMORROW.

>> THE NFL HAS A WHOLE MONTHJUST FOR ONE DISEASE.

>> BREAST CANCER.

THAT'S RIGHT.

EVERYBODY WEARS PINK AND SOME OFTHE MONEY GETS TO PEOPLE, I

GUESS.

THE REST OF IT GOES TO A GIANTPINK YACHT.

(LAUGHTER)I'M EXTREMELY PESSIMISTIC ABOUT

ALL THIS STUFF.

>> Larry: REALLY?

PEACEFUL PROTESTS, I DON'TKNOW IF THEY GET YOU ANYWHERE IN

THIS DAY AND AGE.

THROUGHOUT HISTORY, IF YOU READ,THE ONLY WAY YOU TRULY AFFECT

GREAT CHANGE IS RIDICULOUSACTS OF VIOLENCE.

>> Larry: REALLY?

OH, MY GOSH, NO!

I'M NOT ADVOCATING IT, BUT -->>THINK ABOUT MAHATMA GANDHI.

>> Larry: MAYBE YOU AREADVOCATING IT!

>> I COULD FIND YOU A WHITE GUYWHO COULD DUNK, I COULD FIND THE

EXCEPTION TO THE RULE, BUTGENERALLY SPEAKING PEOPLE WITH

NO MORALS WHATSOEVER ARE THEONES THAT AFFECT CHANGE.

>> I AGREE WITH A LOT OF THESENTIMENT AND WHAT BILL IS

SAYING BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T BETALKING ABOUT FERGUSON IF THERE

WASN'T A STORY ABOUT A RIOT, IFTHERE WASN'T A STORY THERE.

THAT'S IMPORTANT.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTANDTHAT THE PROTESTING NEEDS TO

HAVE THAT.

>> RIGHT, AND SOMETIMES THROUGHTHE PAIN AND THE NOISE AND THE

FIRE AND ANGER, SOMETIMES WE CANFIND PEACE.

>> Larry: WE'LL BE BACK ANDTALK MORE WITH OUR PANELS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: OKAY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

CALM DOWN, SETTLE DOWN!

I APPRECIATE IT.

IT'S TIME FOR A SEGMENT WE LIKETO CALL "KEEP IT 100".

OOH!

OUR GRAPHICS ARE PRETTY NICE!(LAUGHTER)

FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO DON'TKNOW WHAT THAT EXPRESSION

"KEEP IT 100" MEANS, IT MEANSKEEP IT 100% REAL.

I GUESS THE WHITE VERSION IS"TRUTH OR DARE," EXCEPT HERE WE

DON'T HAVE THE "DARE." JUSTCLEARING IT UP FOR MY AUDIENCE

SO I'M GONNA ASK EACH OF YOU AQUESTION, AND IN YOUR ANSWER,

YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT 100% REAL.

AND IF YOU DO, THE AUDIENCE WILLCLAP.

AND IF NOT...

WELL, WE'LL JUST SEE WHAT THEYDO.

I'M NOT GOING TO TELL THEM TOBOO, WE'LL JUST SEE.

TALIB, YOU'RE FIRST. KEEP IT100.

READY?

WHEN IT COMES TO BLACK IMAGES,IS HIP-HOP PART OF THE PROBLEM

OR PART OF THE SOLUTION?

FEEL FREE TO FREE STYLE YOURANSWER.

>> IT'S ALL GOOD.

(LAUGHTER)HIP-HOP IS A CORPORATE MAIN

STREAM HIP-HOP CELEBRATESNEGATIVE IMAGES OF BLACK PEOPLE

AS A BY-PRODUCT.

>> Larry: PROBLEM OR SOLUTION?

KEEP IT 100.

>> I'M KEEPING IT 100!

IT'S A SYMPTOM.

ROOT CAUSE PATHOLOGY IN THENEIGHBORHOOD.

>> Larry: YOU'RE GONNA GETSOME WEAK TEA IF YOU DON'T KEEP

IT 100. PART OF THE PROBLEM ORPART OF THE SOLUTION?

>> CHIEF KEEF DIDN'T STARTRAPPING AND THEN CHICAGO BECAME

>> VIOLENT. CHICAGO BECAMEVIOLENT, CHICAGO CAME FIRST.

>> Larry: ALRIGHT, GOODENOUGH. KEEPIN' IT 100!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)ALL RIGHT, BILL, YOUR MOVIE IS

CALLED "BLACK OR WHITE," ANDYOUR WIFE IS BLACK, RIGHT?

>> YES.

>> Larry: IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSETHE RACE OF YOUR CHILD --

(LAUGHTER)-- OKAY -- HOLD ON!

NO, I DON'T BUY THE BIRACIAL.

YOUR CHILD IS EITHER BLACK ORWHITE, RIGHT?

>> AFTER LISTENING TO THOSESTATS, WHITE ALL THE WAY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

>> Larry: KEEPING IT 100,OKAY?

>> OKAY, I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT.

>> Larry: THAT'S HOW YOU KEEPIT 100!

OK, SHENAZ -->> THAT WAS EASY!

THAT WAS ONE OF THE EASIESTQUESTIONS I EVER GOT!

(APPLAUSE)(LAUGHTER)

>> Larry: SHENAZ, YOU'RE TALKINGDOWN THE STREET, THIS SIDE IS A

WHITE PERSON, THIS SIDE IS ABLACK PERSON.

WHICH SIDE OF THE STREET ARE YOUWALKING ON?

>> DEPENDS ON WHO'S HOTTER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: OKAY, KEPT IT 100!

LAST QUESTION -->> I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU IF YOU

COULD GROW HAIR, WOULD YOU?

>> Larry: NO, I GET TO CHOOSEIT, THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN

KEEP IT 100.>> THAT'S NOT FAIR BECAUSE HE

>> COULD ACTUALLY DO DAMAGE:>> BRING IT.

>> Larry: READY?

GOT TO KEEP IT 100.

>> BRING IT.

>> Larry: DO YOU WANT TO BEPRESIDENT?

>> NO.

>> Larry: AUDIENCE?

(BOOING)>> I GOT SOME WEAK TEA FOR YOU.

(APPLAUSE)>> Larry: LET ME JUST SAY

THIS, WE ALL, ESPECIALLY INPOLITICS, WE'RE FAR MORE TOO

CONCERNED WITH POSITION THANPURPOSE.

>> Larry: THE ANSWER IS YES!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: OKAY, THANK YOU!

THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FORTONIGHT.

I WANT TO THANK OUR PANELISTS:SENATOR CORY BOOKER, BILL BURR,

TALIB KWELI, AND OUR VERY OWNSHENAZ TREASURY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

FINALLY, I ASK MY PANELISTS TOKEEP IT A HUNDRED, AND I HOLD

MYSELF TO THAT SAME STANDARD.

THAT'S WHY I WANT YOU TO USETWITTER TO ASK ME TO KEEP IT A

HUNDRED EVERY NIGHT.

ONE QUESTION WILL BE PICKED EACHNIGHT, AND I DON'T GET TO SEE IT

UNTIL RIGHT NOW.

TOMORROW, YOU WILL GET TO ASKTHE QUESTION.

BUT TONIGHT'S QUESTION COMESFROM SOMEONE WHO WORKS AT THE

SHOW.

HERE IT IS.

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT'S THE LAST RACIST THOUGHTYOU HAD?

I THINK I WAS WALKING DOWN THESTREET YESTERDAY AND I THOUGHT,

DOES THAT WHITE WOMAN THINK I'MGOING TO STEAL HER PURSE?

IT'S HORRIBLE.

I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON, OKAY?

BUT NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.

ON TOMORROW'S SHOW, WE WILL TALKABOUT BILL COSBY AND THE MORE

THAN THREE DOZEN WOMEN WHO HAVEACCUSED HIM OF RAPE.

ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT COSBY ANDDON'T FORGET TO USE THE

#KEEPIT100.

AND LASTLY, I WOULD JUST LIKETO SAY A SPECIAL TIP OF THE

HAT AND A WAG OF THE FINGER TOMY BUDDY STEPHEN COLBERT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANKS FOR MAKING 11:30 SPECIAL,

MY FRIEND.

GOD SPEED AND GOODNIGHTLY!