World Nightly News 2026 & Tony Hawk

  • Season 2, Ep 10
  • 07/16/2006

Tony Hawk and Carlos hit the streets to discuss dreams, and Carlos explores news stories of the future.

BECAUSE WE PAY HIM SO I DON'THAVE TO GIVE HIM MONEY ANYMORE.

[LAUGHTER]

LOOK AT ALL THE BEANERSARE LIKE, "OH, THAT SUCKS."

[LAUGHTER]

BUT HERE'S WHATA LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOWABOUT MY BROTHER JOSEPH.

HE'S NOT ATRAINED PROFESSIONAL.HE'S NOT AN ACTOR.

HE'S JUST A GUY THATCOMES IN HERE AND DOESWHAT WE ASK HIM TO.

AND SOMETIMES WHAT HE DOESIS REALLY, REALLY FUNNY.

SO WE ASKED HIMTO DO SOMETHING

WITH TONY HAWK AND...CHECK IT OUT.

YOU WANT TO SOUNDLIKE A COOL SKATER AND YOUCAN'T GET THE LINGO DOWN?

LET ME HELP YOU WITH...

SEE WITH "HAWK-ON-PHONICS"...

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

- SAY, "THANK YOU, TONY HAWK."- THANK YOU, TONY HAWK.

NOW WAIT,BEFORE THE SHOW ENDS,I WANT YOU TO SAY IT,

"STALEFISH VARIAL McHAWK."

NO, I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

NO. SAY IT."STALEFISH VARIAL McHAWK."

- STARIALFI--- RIGHT IN THE CAMERA.

STALEFISH BARIAL McHAWK.

GOODNIGHT.WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

Captioned By mCCaptioning Serviceswww.mCCaption.com

MY DREAM WAS TO BE A COMEDIAN.

AND WHEN I TOLD MY PARENTS,"HEY, I WANT TO BE A COMEDIAN",

MY MOM WAS LIKE,"WHAT THE [BLEEP]IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

WHY CAN'T YOU JUSTTELL JOKES AT YOU JOB?"

[LAUGHTER]

AND THEN I GO, "DAD,I WANT TO BE A COMEDIAN."

AND MY DAD'S LIKE,"HEY, IF YOU WANNABE A CLOWN, JUGGLE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SO I LISTENED TO MY DADAND I'M PRETTY MUCH A JUGGLER,

BUT I DO WHATI WANT FOR A LIVING.

AND EVERYBODY HAS DREAMS.SO I WENT OUT ON THE STREET

TO TALK TO PEOPLEABOUT THEIR DREAMS.

HUM-BAH, BOOGA-LE, BOOGA-LE!

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM IN LIFE,LIKE YOUR ULTIMATE DREAM YOU HAD

WHEN YOU WERE A KID?I WANTED TO WORK WITH NASA.

WHAT HAPPENED?I FOUND OUTYOU HAVE TO BE GOOD AT MATH.

WHAT'S YOUR DREAM?A ROCK STAR.

NASCAR FOR SURE.

I'D CUT OF MY ARMTO PLAY LIKE THAT GUYFROM DEF LEPPARD.

I THOUGHT I WOULD TALKTO SOMEBODY THAT HAS ACTUALLY

MADE HIS DREAM COME TRUE IN ANUNBELIEVABLE WAY, TONY HAWK.

WHAT'S UP, T?WHAT'S UP?

WHEN DID YOU KNOWYOU WERE GONNA BE A BOARDER,THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO?

STEVE CABALLERO WAS REALLYCLOSE TO MY AGE AND I SAW HIM

JUST BLASTING OUT OF THESE EMPTYSWIMMING POOLS AND I WAS LIKE,

"I WANT TO DO THAT.I WANT TO GET IN THE AIR,THAT'S WHAT I WANT."

I WANT PEOPLE TO HEAR,HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT MAKINGYOUR DREAMS COME TRUE?

YOU HAVE A BIG GOAL IN MIND BUTSET LITTLE GOALS ALONG THE WAY.

I WANT TO BE A RAPPER.

WHAT'S YOUR DREAM?TO BE WHAT?THE NEXT "EN VOGUE."

BUT "EN VOGUE" DIDN'THAVE A GUY IN IT.

THAT IS A LADY.

OH, YOU'RE GONNA GET THE CHANGE?OH, SO HE'S GONNA BE A LADY?

YES.

HEY MAN,I WANNA GOOD JOB.I WANNA MAKE GOOD MONEY

AND I DON'T WANNA DOA WHOLE LOT FOR IT JUSTLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

SO I WANNA BETHE PRESIDENT.

I'M MEETING PEOPLEWITH DREAMS BUT FEW ARE DOINGANYTHING ABOUT IT.

IT'S LIKETHEY'RE RELYING ON LUCK.

MAYBE YOU NEED SOMEDIFFERENT KIND OF LUCK.I'M WEARING GREEN.

YOU NEVER KNOW.YOU MIGHT CATCH A LEPRECHAUN.A LEPRECHAUN?

A-- A LEPRECHAUN.

IF YOU CATCH A LEPRECHAUN,YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE.

IF YOU THINKYOU CAN CATCH ONE.YOU NEVER--

THERE YOU GO.YEAH, WELL, GO AND CATCH HIM.

MAYBE HE'LL MAKEYOUR DREAM COME TRUE.

HOW MANY BONESHAVE YOU BROKEN?AH...WELL, THREE.

OOH, DAMN.SEE, WHEN I GET A FRESH ONE,

I FEEL LIKE I'M STILLOUT THERE GOING FOR IT.

OTHER THAN THE MONEY ANDTHE FAME AND ALL THAT STUFF,

WHAT ARE SOME OF THEOTHER PERKS OF BEING TONY HAWK?

AH, WHAT'S GREAT IS'CAUSE I CAN PUT OUT PRODUCTSTHAT WILL HELP PEOPLE.

BUT THEY CAN'T ALL BE WINNERS.

JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE LEGS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T ENJOY SKATEBOARDING.

Announcer: STOP POUTING IN THAT WHEELCHAIR

AND GET ON TONY HAWK'S NEW PROSTHETIC LIMBS SKATEBOARD.

YOU CAN'T WALK BUT YOU CAN RIDE.

ARE YOU READY, BRO?LET'S ROLL.

YOU CAN DO IT, BRO.YOU CAN DO IT.

[THUMP]OH, [BLEEP].

DON'T ASK ME HOWANYONE GOT ALONG WITHOUTTHESE BEFORE. I'M STUMPED.

[IRISH ACCENT]SILLY LITTLE ANGRY LEPRECHAUN,

YOU THOUGHT YOU WEREGONNA OUTRUN A BROTHER?

COME ON, NOW.YOU GOT YOUR WISH, BRO.

GIVE HIM A WISH.I WANNA BE A RAPPER.

WHOA, YOU'RE ARAPPER NOW, BRO.

- [RAP MUSIC PLAYING]- THAT'S RIGHT. DOC ROCKER.

CHECK OUT THE ALBUM.IT'S COMING OUT NEXT MON--

- [GUNFIRE]- OH, SNAP.

- [GUNFIRE CONTINUES]- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SO YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL.YOU GOT THE BIG HOUSE.

YOU GOT THE CARS.THE BIG YARD, DOGS.AH, NO DOGS.

WHY NOT?DOGS DON'T LIKE ME.

IS IT 'CAUSE YOURIDE IN FRONT OF 'EMAND TEASE 'EM ALL DAY?MAYBE.

- [GROWLS]- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S THE WORLD NIGHTLY NEWS WITH FERNANDO ROSEALINDO.

[ANGLO ACCENT] WELCOME TO THEWORLD NIGHTLY NEWS,

I'M FERNANDO ROSEALINDO.YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SAY,

[THICK HISPANIC ACCENT]FERNANDO ROSEALINDO!

WE DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE.

IN OUR TOP STORY,GEORGE W. BUSH CELEBRATED HIS

10th ANNIVERSARYAS PRESIDENT OF IRAQ.

BUSH CEASED POWER AFTERHE REALIZED HIS APPROVAL RATING

WAS HIGHER IN IRAQTHAN IN AMERICA.

BUT TENSIONS BETWEENTHE UNITED STATES AND IRAQ

RESURFACED WHEN BUSHMADE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT.

MY FELLOW IRAQIANITES, AMERICA MUST PAY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I FINALLY FOUND THEM WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTIONS,

THE NUCLEAR ONES, THE CHEMISTRY ONES,

THE BIODEGRADABLE ONES.

DO NOT MISS-UNDERESTIMATE ME AMERICA.

I WILL USE THEM ON YOU INFIDELS.

WHEW! AL, LA, LA, LA...

- [GUNFIRE]- OH!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

IN IMMIGRATION NEWS,352 PEOPLE SUCCESSFULLY

CROSSED THE BORDER FROMMEXICO INTO THE UNITED STATES

MAKING IT OFFICIAL,THERE'S NO ONE LEFT IN MEXICO.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THIS INFLUX OF IMMIGRANTSCOMES ON THE HEELS

OF THE INAUGURATION OF AMERICA'SFIRST HISPANIC PRESIDENT WHO WAS

ELECTED ONA PLATFORM OF UNITY.HE HAD THIS TO SAY.

IN ORDER TO A. TO ASSIMILATE--

I'M HERE TO DECLARE THERE IS MANDATORY--

EVERY AMERICAN CITIZEN SHOULD-- SHOULD SPEAK ENGLISH--

SHOULD LEARN ENGLISH. GO RAIDERS.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERSWHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

THE NEW HISPANICMAJORITY IN AMERICA

HAS RE-IGNITED A DEBATEOVER AFFIRMATIVE ACTION.

ONLY THIS TIME,IT IS WHITE PEOPLE THAT WANT IT.

Chanting:WHITES NEED RIGHTS!

YOU OWE US AMERICA!YEAH, YOU OWE US AMERICA!

WHITE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS BLAMINGTHEIR PROBLEMS ON RACISTS.

IF YOU'RE QUALIFIED FOR A JOB,YOU'LL GET A JOB.

OH, THAT'S EASY FOR HER TO SAY.SHE'S BLACK!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE,

YOU CAN GO BACK TOCZECHOSLOVAKIA!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND NOW LET'S CHECK OUTSIDE,FOR A LOOK AT THE WEATHER

WITH OUR TOKEN WHITE GUYJACK DRIZZLE.

WELL, HUCK-E-DEE, JUCK-E-DEE.

IT SEEMS THIS GLOBAL WARMING HAS GOT ME IN A PICKLE.

WE'VE GOT GALE STORM WINDS OF 90-MILES AN HOUR,

LIGHTENING, THUNDERSTORMS AND AN OCCASIONAL TORNADO!

AND IF THIS DOESN'T HAVE YOUR PANTIES IN A TWIST,

THEN GUESS WHAT, TOMORROW'S GONNA BE EVEN WORSE!

BUT HEY, I'LL BE OUT HERE WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE

LETTING YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING DOWN WITH THE WEATHER OUT HERE

MAKING SURE YOU GET THE-- SON OF A BITCH!

- MOTHER-[BLEEP]!- [LIGHTENING, THUNDER]

BACK TO YOU, FERNANDO!

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

NO WONDER HE'S SO HAPPY.HE GETS BLOWN EVERY DAY AT WORK.

THANKS, JACK.

NOW LET'S HEAD OUT TOTHE BALLPARK FOR SPORTSWITH SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.

WHAT YOU GOT FOR US, SHAQ?

I'M OUT HERE WITH THE PLAYERSGETTING THEIR REACTION'S ABOUT,

AH, BASEBALL, AH, WANTING TO PINMORE PEOPLE TO THE SHEETS,

AH, BUT SHAQ-DADDY AIN'T THERESO PEOPLE WEREN'T COMING.

SO AH, THEY LETSTEROID INSPECTING AND, AH...

AH...AH...

THANK YOU, SHAQ.

AND NOW IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS,PARIS HILTON IS STILL A SLUT.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

FUNNYMAN, CARLOS MENCIA'SLATEST COMEDY

DEE-DEE-DEE AND DEE-DEE-DEE-EROPENS THIS WEEKEND.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

THAT MENCIA HASN'T AGED AT ALL.

AND FINALLY,MADONNA PERFORMED LAST NIGHT

AT A CHARITY FUNDRAISER FOR THEWHITNEY HOUSTON AND BOBBY BROWN

MEMORIAL DETOX CENTERAND CRACK HOUSE.

WE'LL SEND YOU OFFWITH SOME HIGHLIGHTS.HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

♪ KISS ME

♪ TASTE ME

♪ BITE ME

♪ BANG ME

♪ EXOTIC, EXOTIC

♪ DRAG YOUR TONGUEALL OVER MY BODY ♪

♪ EXOTIC, EXOTIC

♪ I'M SO HOT AND HORNYAND NAUGHTY ♪

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

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