Jeff Ross & Jonah Ray

  • Season 1, Ep 6
  • 03/26/2013

Anthony considers Casey Anthony's parenting style and reveals his softer side; Jeff Ross and Jonah Ray defend their tweets.

WITH THE "BEST WORST THINGOF THE WEEK."

OF ALL THE AWFUL NEWS STORIES,THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE.

IT'S THE JESELNIK OFFENSIVETWO FOR TUESDAY.

GOTTA DOUBLE DIPON THIS CASEY ANTHONY THING.

IT'S JUST TOO RICHTO KEEP IT ALL TO MYSELF.

SOURCES ARE REPORTING

THAT CASEY ANTHONYIS PREGNANT AGAIN

AND READY TO COMMIT TOMOTHERHOOD IN THE FIRST DEGREE.

GUYS, HAVE YOU HAD A CHANCE

TO CHLOROFORMAN OPINION ON THIS MATTER?

- I'M EXCITED'CAUSE I LOVE A SEQUEL.

I'M EXCITED TO SEEWHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

- YEAH.

- SHE'S ALREADY PROMISEDTO CIRCUMCISE THE BABY

FROM THE NECK DOWN.

- YOU KNOW, THE BABY'SDUE IN EIGHT MONTHS,

BUT THE LAWYER PROMISESTO HAVE IT OUT IN FOUR.

- WOW.

- DO YOU THINK SHE'S GONNAHAVE A WATER BIRTH

JUST TO SPEED UPTHE PROCESS?

- I WOULD HOPE SO.- YEAH.

- THE KID'S FIRST WORDSARE GONNA BE ITS LAST WORDS.

[laughter]

- YOU KNOW, I HEARDIF YOU WANT TO GET HER A GIFT,

SHE'S REGISTEREDAT CRATE & BARREL.

'CAUSE THOSE ARE BOTH THINGSYOU CAN HIDE A BABY IN.

- I HEARD NEVER 21IS WHERE SHE SHOPS.

- I WAS GONNA GET HERSTUFF AT TARGET

'CAUSE THAT'SWHAT THAT KID IS.

- OH, MAN.

- BUT CASEY ANTHONY SWEARS

SHE'S GONNA, LIKE,DO BETTER THIS TIME

AND BE A GOOD MOTHER.HOW DO YOU THINK--

WHAT DO YOU THINKSHE'S GONNA DO DIFFERENTLY?

- HMM.

- LIKE, I THINK SHE'S GONNA,LIKE, RAISE HER KID WELL,

SEND IT OFF TO COLLEGE,AND THEN MURDER HER.

- THEY WANNA BANASSAULT RIFLES.

THEY SHOULD BANTHAT WOMAN'S [bleep].

[laughter]AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE?

- YEAH.JONAH, WHAT DO YOU GOT?

WHAT DO YOU GOTTHAT BEATS [bleep]?

- [chuckles]

SHE...SUCKS, HUH?

WHAT A BAD PERSON.

- UP NEXT IS THE "WORSTWORST THING OF THE WEEK."

WHERE I SHOW GODWHO'S BOSS.

JESUS, YOU'RE FIRED.

THAT WAS DONALD TRUMP.

A TEN-PART BIBLE MINISERIES

PRODUCED BY REALITY MOGULMARK BURNETT

IS SETTING RATINGS RECORDSON THE HISTORY CHANNEL.

FINALLY,SOMETHING THAT COMBINES

AMERICA'S LOVE OF RELIGION

WITH THEIR HATREDOF READING.

- MARK BURNETT PRODUCINGA BIBLE MINISERIES.

IT'S HIS BEST WORKSINCE HE GOT CEE LO

TO TURN AROUNDIN A CHAIR.

[laughter]

AH.

- THEY GOT BETTER CHAIRS.

- JEFF ROSS WITHTHE UNEXPECTED PHYSICAL COMEDY.

NO ONE SAW THAT COMING.

I LOVE THATTHIS IS ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL

BECAUSE THERE'S NOCOMFORTING FANTASY CHANNEL.

- THE WHOLE TIMEI'M WATCHING IT, I'M JUST GOING,

"OH, WHERE'S THE FLOOD?I HATE THESE PEOPLE!"

- YEAH, BUT THAT'STHE SAME THING YOU SAID

WHEN WE WEREWATCHING TREME.

- TOUCHE.- YEAH.

- I LIKEDMARK BURNETT'S SPIN ON IT.

I LIKE WHEN JESUS GOT VOTED OFFTHE LEPER COLONY.

THAT WAS COOL.

- YEAH, I THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRDTHOUGH HOW HIS LAST WORDS WERE,

"I'M NOT HERETO MAKE FRIENDS."

- I'M NOT HERETO MAKE FRIENDS.

- YEAH.- THAT'S GOOD.

- YEAH, THAT WASA GOOD IMPRESSION.

I LIKED THAT.- THANK YOU.

- ARMS AND EVERYTHING.

AND THE BIG CONTROVERSY NOWIS PEOPLE ARE UPSET

THAT THE GUYWHO PLAYS THE DEVIL

IS, LIKE, A DEAD RINGERFOR BARACK OBAMA.

- YEAH.- YEAH, CHECK IT OUT.

SERIOUSLY, IT LOOKSLIKE BARACK OBAMA

IF BARACK OBAMADIDN'T STOP SMOKING.

- OBAMA IS NOT SATAN, OKAY?

SATAN WAS ABLE TO MAKEA DEAL WITH CONGRESS.

[laughter and applause]

THANK YOU.THANK YOU.

BLESS YOU ALL.

AND THAT WASWHAT THEIR PROBLEMS WAS.

NOW IT'S TIMETO SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE,

SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE,SHAKE YOUR BABY.

IT'S "DEFENDING YOUR TWEET."

YOU TWEETED IT.

NOW I'M GONNA READ ITAND ASK YOU TO DEFEND IT

IN FRONTOF ALL THESE PEOPLE.

JONAH, YOU'RE UP FIRST.- ALL RIGHT.

- JONAH, ON MARCH 17TH,YOU TWEETED...

#COMPLETEPACKAGE.

JONAH, DEFEND YOUR TWEET.

- YOU KNOW WHAT,

I DON'T THINKI HAVE TO DEFEND [bleep].

BECAUSE ASK ANY GIRLIN HERE,

THEY'VE ALWAYS WANTEDTO [bleep] A CHIPMUNK.

[women cheer]

- THEN WHY'DYOU GET YOUR TEETH FIXED?

- [laughs]

- ANTHONY!

- HOW LONGHAVE YOU GUYS BEEN FRIENDS?

- TOO LONG.

- YEAH.

- JEFF, ON JANUARY 31ST,YOU TWEETED...

JEFF...

JEFF, DEFEND YOUR TWEET.

- THAT TWEETMADE A BIG SPLASH.

[laughter]

THANK YOU.

THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THAT.- YEAH, THAT WAS GREAT.

THAT WAS GREAT.

THANK YOU GUYS BOTH SO MUCHFOR BEING HERE TONIGHT,

ONE OF YOUMORE THAN THE OTHER ONE.

CATCH JONAH EVERY WEDNESDAY

AT THE MELTDOWN COMEDY SHOWIN L.A.

AND SUBSCRIBE TO HISJONAH RAYDIO PODCAST ON iTUNES.

AND CATCH JEFF LIVEAT THE TULALIP CASINO

IN MARYSVILLE, WASHINGTON,APRIL 26TH.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACKWITH MORE SHOW.

[cheers and applause]

[rock music]

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