As Brody adjusts to his new medication, he falls into a deep depression that he fears will be with him for the rest of his life.
When I was here months ago...
I didn't feel bipolar,I felt great.
Everybody said, "Brody, you'reback. Celebrate. Buy that condo.
"Get that car.Go back on Conan."
Well, I haven't beenback on Conan.
I hate you!
Oh, you gotta get adjustedto your meds.
You had a manic episode,be ready for the crashof your life.
But I just feel out of sort.
Nobody ever told meI would crash like this.
You know, you go up,you're on top of the world.
You feel like you're back,and then, I went down.
I'm in Hollywood, I'm trying it.
Sleeping 14 hours, havinga chemical straitjacket on me.
( DISTANT SIRENS WAILING )
It's pulling my soul.
I can't be who I am,because I'm on these meds.
Is this the new Brody?I don't feel good.
Well, I'm here in my apartment.
Did I mention thatI'm heavily doped up?
I started worrying about Brodywhen he moved to Hollywood...
because you could just tell...
his whole being was like justthis constant depression.
I'm living in a buildingwith a bunch of tweekersand domestic violence-ers.
I live in a [BLEEP] hole.
When do I get the nice car?When do I get the hybrid?
When do I get off thisgosh-dang air mattress?
Well, with the bipolarphase of depression...
this one is much moreendogenous or chemical.
It is very, very deep,and it takes a lot to pullthemselves out of it.
Brody was reallyin a dark place.
There was the mania, and then wewere warned of the depression.
CAMERA (O.S.):Got it?All right, ready, Brody?
He was weak.
He seemed tired.
It was like he had lostthat positive edge.
You know, the things that youknow, somebody would wantto look out for...
is that lack of motivation.
This, what we call anhedonia,this inability to experiencepleasure.
Possibly you know whatdepression feels like.Yes, I do.
And I think he thoughtthat was gonna be how hislife was gonna be.
And I think that gothim depressed.
Why am I here? There's sirens,there's domestic issues.
Just the other day, I hearda guy and a lady arguing...
screaming at the top of herlungs. It frightened me.
The first time that I saw him,he started crying...
these tears of--you could just see therewas some pain in his life.
Isolated from people,I cried daily.
For the first time, he actuallythought about saying...
I think I may needto go back in.
I think I need help,I'm having weird thoughts.
Very depressing thoughts aboutmaybe not wanting to be around.
Suicide, I had dark thoughts.
You know, we all can get down,and we can all get sad, theseare deeper thoughts than that.
When left untreated, it couldpotentially lead to, in worsecase scenario, death.
We were all very concerned thathe wasn't gonna be able to pullhimself back out of it.
I think it affected himso much...
that I really thought we wouldnever see him as a comic again.
I'm looking to get backin the Valley.
I gotta look for apartments.
I gotta find out how closeI want to be...
to where I need to spendthe most of my time.
You don't justgo on the internet...
you gotta actuallyget out and drive.
Hi, uh, we're lookingat the apartment.
I want water. I want power.I want pets.
I want a security buzzer.
I will find the apartmentthat fits me. Whoo!
( TIRES SCREECHING )
( TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING )
It feels great to beback in the Valley.
I got the apartment and I signedthe papers. Yes!
It's a one bedroom,it's carpeted apartment.
Carpeted living room, carpetedbalcony.
I'm off my air mattress.
See you later, air mattress.
( WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING )
BRODY (O.S.):What are you looking at?
What is this look?Friendly guy on toilet?
Friendly guy on toilet, yes.
Zach, these are getting me work.If it's not broken, don'tfix it.
I get you work.
Oh, you got me-- oh, I guess youdid.
You know, I think what would begood for you, Brody,
What?Since being in the...
You're forced to bein your own head a lot.
Well, it can drive youcrazy, right?
I've had that problem.
I was thinking, recently...
that maybe what would be goodfor you, is to volunteer.
Open up to other people's needsand helping other people...
helps you feel more fulfilled...Right.
And that's what I dowith audience warm-up.I help the crowd--
Three, two, one!Here we go, big energy!
That's what I'm talking about.
They are not in needof anything,
Maybe if you went somewhereto like a place to volunteer,a soup kitchen or a--
I like soup.The soup's not for you.
I like Campbell soup.
The soup is-- you're not eat--
I like Chunky man soup.
I like Soup Doggy Dogg.Matzo Ball soup.
Things of that nature.
Why are you talkinginto a microphone?
Just practicing my podcasting.
Look, it doesn't have to bebroadcast. There's a beauty inbeing discreet in your life.
You know that, right? You don'thave to share everything.
Can I tweet that?
The volunteering hopefullywill make me feel better,but it's not about me.
It's about helping others.
Okay, tell me where to go.
I've got my gloves on,I know how to serve food.
They all get coffee andwhatever they ask for, okay.
BRODY (O.S.): Morning, guys!Morning!
Now how do I do this?
Put the tray here.With the tray...
How's the food? It's good?Everyone having a good morning?
I'm here to bring some energy,some fun.
Who here is from Los Angeles,born and bred?
Where in LA?
Boyle Heights, I'vebeen to Boyle Heights...
looking for my car stereo.I'd like it back.
I'm joking, guys, I do comedy.
Anybody want a smoothie?
Klonopin, am I right?
Yes, it is.I got it.
I'm not-- I'm not doinga good time on this one.
I'm-- this is not one of mybetter tables.
This is... strong.
How do you-- why do youlaugh so much? I love it.
I just told you,I just take it easy.
I don't worry about nothing.
I don't take no medication,that's why I happy every day.
You think I needto take my meds?
I'm from LA,I'm from the Valley.
818 'til I die.
I'm helping out,I'm volunteering.
I used to be depressed.
Because I went off my meds coldturkey, and I had an episode.
And then whatevercomes up, comes down.
And that's what happened to me.
So my buddy said, "Why don't youvolunteer and give back."
I said I'd do it.
( SOFT MUSIC PLAYING )
I gotta stop beingsorry for myself.
I don't have it so bad.
These people, they didn'thave a place to go.
They don't have the luxuryto pick and choose wherethey're gonna be.
I mean, they pump me up.
Go, Lexie, go.
So the fact that I had thatopportunity to do that...
and volunteering and meetingthese people, it definitely--
You'll put things inperspective.
Ha! Go! Mexico!
I got a lot of thingsgoing on for me.