Babysitting Forest Whitaker

  • Season 1, Ep 8
  • 03/20/2012

President Obama doesn't get special treatment, and a young Forest Whitaker terrifies his babysitter.

- ALL RIGHT,YOU'RE DOING FINE, SWEETIE.

NOW, MALIA, LET'S JUSTGO EASY ON THE GAS HERE

AND COME TO A COMPLETE STOP.

OKAY...

SO IN THE FUTURE,YOU WANT TO TRY

NOT TO GO THROUGHSTOP SIGNS.

[tires screeching]

[siren wailing]- OKAY, JUST REMAIN CALM NOW,

AND WHAT YOU'RE GONNAWANT TO DO IS PULL UP

RIGHT HERENEXT TO THE CURB.

AND THIS IS--THIS IS WHYWE WANT TO STAY IN THE LINES

AND WE WANT TOFOLLOW RULES, OKAY?

REMEMBER THIS.

[police chatter over radio]

- LICENSEAND REGISTRATION...

HOLY...MR. PRESIDENT!

- YEAH, YEAH, JUST, UH,TEACHING MALIA TO DRIVE HERE.

- WELL, YOU GUYSRAN A STOP SIGN BACK THERE,

BUT THAT'S OKAY.YOU CAN GO.

- OH, NO, NO, NO.MALIA'S GOTTA LEARN

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DRIVEIN THE REAL WORLD HERE.

THIS IS CALLEDCONSEQUENCES, MALIA.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO GO AHEADAND TREAT US LIKE YOU WOULD

IF I WEREN'TTHE PRESIDENT.

NOT EXACTLYWHAT I HAD IN MIND.

- OH!- WHAT?

- OH, MY GOSH!- WHAT A HALF!

- THAT IS CRAZY!- OH, MY GOD.

- OH, MY GOSH.- HEY, UH...

FORGOT TO TELL YA,CONGRATULATIONS

ON GETTING THE NEW JOB.- OH, THANKS, MAN.

I APPRECIATE IT.- AWESOME, THAT'S AWESOME.

- YEAH, AND THANK YOUFOR INVITING ME OVER HERE

TO THE GAME TODAY.- OH, NO PROBLEM.

I MEAN,YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

- WOW, THANKS, MAN.HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND TOO.

- COOL.- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

- WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT.- [laughs]

- NOT GONNA SING IT OR ANYTHING,'CAUSE THAT WOULD BE GAY.

- [laughing]THAT'S PRETTY GAY.

- ALL RIGHT,I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

[clears throat]

♪ WALLY,YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND ♪

♪ TOGETHER WE CANCHANGE THE WORLD ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERTHROUGH THICK AND THIN ♪

♪ PLAYING BALLAND TALKING TO GIRLS ♪

♪ WALLY,I'M SO PROUD OF YOU ♪

♪ YOU KNOW YOU'VE TAKENALL OF MY ADVICE ♪

- WAIT, STOP, STOP, STOP,STOP...WHAT ADVICE?

- OH, UM...IT'S JUST A SONG, DUDE.

I MEAN, LIKE,CAN I FINISH?

- YEP.- AND THEN WE CAN?

- O-OKAY.- ALL RIGHT.

[clears throat]

♪ YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHINGI'VE ASKED OF YOU ♪

♪ AND YOU NEVER,EVER QUESTIONED TWICE ♪

- WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT?

♪ THANK YOU FOR DOINGWHAT I TOLD YOU TO ♪

♪ YOUR ACHIEVEMENTSARE ALSO MINE ♪

♪ MY PADAWAN

♪ YOU MAKEYOUR SENSEI PROUD ♪

♪ LIVING YOUR LIFELIVING YOUR LIFE ♪

[low]TWO, THREE, FOUR...

♪ LIVING YOUR LIFETO MY DESIGN ♪

- THAT WAS THE WEIRDEST SONGI'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE, SO--

- ♪ YOU HAVE LISTENEDTO YOUR ELDERS ♪

- I'M OLDER THAN YOU!- ♪ NEVER FORGET

♪ THE WORDS I SAY - OKAY, I, UH,

DON'T LIKE YOUR SONG,SO I'M GONNA BOUNCE.

- ♪ YOU ARE PRODUCTOF MY CREATION ♪

- WHAT? NO I'M NOT.- ♪ I HAVE SHOWN YOU THE WAY

- EXCEPT FOR THAT YOU HAVEN'T.YOU HAVEN'T.

- ♪ MODULATE

- YOU JUST SAYWHAT YOU'RE DOING?

- ♪ LIKE THE WHITE WOLFGUIDES HIS CUBS ♪

♪ THROUGH THE PLAINSOF THE CARIBOU ♪

- SHUT UP!

- ♪ I HAVE DONEALL I CAN ♪

♪ THE REST IS UP TO

[high]♪ YOU

MY WOLF CUBIS ALL GROWN UP.

[shudders]

- MRS. WHITAKER, I HAVEBEEN BABYSITTING FOR 20 YEARS.

I'VE SEEN IT ALL.

- THE THING IS,FOREST IS A UNIQUE CHILD.

- EVERYTHINGIS GONNA BE FINE.

I WANT YOU TO HAVEA GOOD TIME TONIGHT.

YOU DESERVE IT.

- OKAY, UM...

GOOD LUCK.- THANK YOU.

[sighs]

[eerie music]

- GOO-GOO GA-GA.[heavy footsteps]

- [recoils]

HEY THERE, FOREST.

- GOO-GOO GA-GA.

I WANT...

I WANT MILK.

- YOU WANT ME TO GET YOUYOUR BOTTLE, BUDDY?

- I WANT MILK!- OKAY.

- THIS IS A BA-BA.

I WANT MAMA'S MILK.

WHY CAN'T I HAVEMAMA'S MILK?

IT'S A SIMPLE REQUEST.

- WELL, YEAH, WELL, UH,

Y-YOU CAN'T HAVE MAMA'S MILKRIGHT NOW, BUDDY.

UM, HOW ABOUT WE PLAY?

- OKAY.

I WANT...

I WANT--I WANNA PLAY WITH MY LEGOS.

- OKAY, YEAH.

OKAY, BUDDY, LET'S, UH,GET YOUR LEGOS THEN.

- I WANNA...

I WANNA PUTTHE SMALLEST LEGO IN MY MOUTH.

THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.- NO, NO, NO.

YOU CAN'T--YOU CAN'T DO THAT.- WHAT?

FIRST YOU TELL MEI CAN'T HAVE MAMA'S MILK.

NOW I CAN'T HAVETHE SMALLEST LEGO IN MY MOUTH?

WHAT A NIGHT.

THIS IS A BAD START.

- WAIT, BUT FOREST,IT'S DANGEROUS.

- LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF ME?IN MY HOUSE?

- ALL RIGHT, F-FOREST,I-IT'S TIME FOR BED.

- I GUESS THENYOU GONNA SING ME A SONG.

- WHAT?

- MOMMA ALWAYS SINGS ME A SONGBEFORE I GO TO SLEEP.

ARE YOU GONNADO THAT FOR ME?

- OKAY, OKAY.YEAH.

YES, I WILL.

♪ HUSH, LITTLE BABYDON'T SAY A WORD ♪

- KEEP--KEEP SINGING.

- ♪ MAMA'S GONNABUY YOU A MOCKINGBIRD ♪

- PUT MY NAME IN IT.

I LIKE--I LIKE IT PERSONAL.

- ♪ HUSH, BABY FOREST WHITAKERDON'T SAY A WORD ♪

- GOO-GOO GA-GA.

- ♪ MAMA'S GONNABUY YOU A MOCKINGBIRD ♪

- GOOD BABYSITTER.

- ♪ AND IF THAT MOCKINGBIRDDON'T SING ♪

- HAVE A GOOD CRY.

- [sobbing]♪ MAMA'S GONNA BUY YOU

♪ A DIAMOND RING