April 23, 2015 - Preaching on Mars & Teacher-Student Sex

  • 04/23/2015

Panelists Kevin Pollak, Mo'Nique and Shenaz Treasury discuss the alarming number of illicit sexual relationships between female high school teachers and their male students.

Larry: TONIGHTLY, ANAFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN IS SET TO

BECOME ONE OF THE MOST POWERFULWOMEN IN THE U.S....

AND FOR ONCE WE'RE NOT TALKINGABOUT COOKIE FROM "EMPIRE."

(LAUGHTER)MILLIONAIRE PASTOR CREFLO DOLLAR

SAYS HIS PARISHIONERS SHOULD PAYFOR A SPACE SHUTTLE TO TAKE HIM

TO MARS.

(LAUGHTER)I DON'T NEED A JOKE FOR THIS

BECAUSE THAT'S ENOUGH.

AND FINALLY...

TEACHERS ARE SLEEPING WITH THEIRSTUDENTS.

THIS IS THE WRONG KIND OFCRAMMING, YOU GUYS

(LAUGHTER)EVERYBODY PACK YOUR LUNCH AND

SIT UP STRAIGHT -- THIS IS THE"THE NIGHTLY SHOW"!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

Captioning sponsored by COMEDY CENTRAL

YEAH!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING LARRY)>> Larry: LARRY, LARRY, LARRY,

LARRY...

WELCOME TO THE "THE NIGHTLYSHOW."

I'M LARRY WILMORE. WE HAVE AGREAT SHOW TONIGHT

WE HAVE A COUPLE OF GREAT A-LISTCELEBRITIES ON THE SHOW TONIGHT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THAT'S RIGHT, MAN!

WE HAVE KEVIN POLLAK AND OSCARWINNER MO'NIQUE!

HEY, BABY!

A LOT TO GET TO TONIGHT, BUTFIRST THINGS FIRST.

IT'S TIME FOR "CRAZY PREACHERTIME ROUNDUP."

>> CRAZY PREACHER TIME ROUND UP!

>> Larry: I JUST LOVE THAT.

LET'S CHECK IN WITH AN OLDFRIEND OF MINE.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS A LITTLEEMBARRASSING.

I FORGOT HIS NAME.

KIMYE YOLO?

GROUPON ROKU?

THAT'S NOT QUITE IT.

OH, I GOT IT, I GOT IT -- VENMOSURFBOARDT!

DAMMIT, WHAT WAS IT AGAIN?

NO, IT'S GOT MONEY IN IT.

TEFLON NICKEL?

>> PASTOR CREFLO DOLLAR.

>> Larry: CREFLO DOLLAR!

ALL RIGHT!

I WAS 95 CENTS AWAY!

HOW COULD I FORGET THAT NAME?

THAT'S RIGHT, CREFLO DOLLAR, THEONLY MEGA CHURCH PASTOR TO GET

HIS NAME FROM A LIST OF REJECTED"STAR WARS" CHARACTERS, IS BACK!

SORRY.

I'M JUST HAVING A LITTLEGOOD-NATURED FUN WITH HIS NAME

BECAUSE IT IS OBJECTIVELYABSURD.

ANYWAY, WHAT WAS CREFLO IN THENEWS FOR AGAIN?

>> THIS ATLANTA-BASED MEGACHURCH IN THE FIRING LINE AFTER

URGING ITS MEMBERS TO FUND A NEWGULF STREAM JET FOR ITS

CONTROVERSIAL LEADER.

>> Larry: THAT WAS BACK INMARCH, AND WHEN PEOPLE

CRITICIZED HIM, SOME OF THEMBEING QUITE DEBONAIRE,

HE SHUT IT DOWN FASTER THAN AMEGA CHURCH PASTOR AT A TASTEFUL

SUIT FACTORY.

BUT CREFLO'S BACK, AND THISTIME -- IT'S PERSONAL.

>> IF I WANT TO BELIEVE GOD FORA $65 MILLION PLANE, YOU CANNOT

STOP ME.

YOU CANNOT STOP ME FROMDREAMING.

>> Larry: YOU CANNOT STOP ME!

YOU CANNOT STOP ME FROMDREAMING!

CAN I GET AN AMEN, OR AT LEASTAN "OKAY, SURE, I GUESS"???

CREFLO, NO ONE'S TRYING TO STOPYOU FROM DREAMING.

YOU CAN DREAM ABOUT TAKING MONEYFROM POOR PEOPLE TO FUND YOUR

LAVISH LIFESTYLE ALL THE LIVELONG DAY.

IT'S WHEN YOU "DO" THE THING,THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

WE WANT TO STOP THE "DOING"PART.

>> IF THEY DISCOVER THAT THERE'SLIFE ON MARS, THEY'RE GONNA NEED

TO HEAR THE GOSPEL, AND I'MGONNA NEED TO HAVE TO BELIEVE

GOD FOR A BILLION-DOLLAR SPACESHUTTLE 'CAUSE WE GOT TO PREACH

THE GOSPEL ON MARS.

(LAUGHTER)(AUDIENCE REACTS)

>> BILLION-DOLLAR SPACE SHUTTLE?

TO TAKE YOU TO MARS?

I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID.

PASS THE COLLECTION PLATE.

ANYTHING THAT SHOOTS YOU TO ANAIRLESS DESERT 140 MILLION MILES

AWAY -- I'M IN, CREFLO! AND DIDI MENTION THAT HIS NAME IS

FUNNY? OKAY.

MOVING ON TO SOME GOOD NEWS.

AN AMERICAN POLITICAL PRISONERWAS RELEASED TODAY AFTER BEING

HELD IN CAPTIVITY BYANTI-AMERICAN FORCES FOR A

GRUELING 166 DAYS.

>> LORETTA LYNCH HAS FINALLYBEEN CONFIRMED TODAY AS THE NEW

ATTORNEY GENERAL.

SENATE REPUBLICANS HAD HELD UPTHE

CONFIRMATION VOTE FOR WEEKS OVERA POLITICAL BATTLE ON AN

UNRELATED HUMAN TRAFFICKINGBILL.

>> Larry: YES, THE POLITICS OFHUMAN TRAFFICKING.

ONE SIDE THINKS IT'S BAD, THEOTHER SIDE, I REALLY HOPE, ALSO

THINKS IT'S BAD.

BUT NOMINATIONS GET HELD UP ALLTHE TIME, YOU SAY.

NOT LIKE THIS.

LYNCH'S NOMINATION WAS HELD UPBY REPUBLICANS IN THE SENATE

LONGER THAN THE PREVIOUS SEVENATTORNEY GENERALS COMBINED.

OH, I'M SORRY -- ATTORNEYSGENERAL.

CALM DOWN, TWITTER!

(LAUGHTER)I KNOW WHAT A LOT OF YOU ARE

THINKING.

ALL RIGHT, LARRY, BLAME IT ONTHE FACT THAT LORETTA LYNCH IS

BLACK.

THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITHBLACK.

>> I WILL OPPOSE IT, AND I WILLOPPOSE IT, BECAUSE SHE SUPPORTS

THE UNCONSTITUTIONAL EXECUTIVEORDERS THAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE

UNITED STATES HAS ISSUED ONIMMIGRATION.

>> Larry: IT HAS TO DO WITHBROWN, AKA BROWN PEOPLE, THE

HUGE VOTING BLOCK REPUBLICANSALWAYS WANT TO WOO BUT ALWAYS

SEEM TO SHOO.

BUT, OKAY, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

BUT IT'S NOT PERSONAL, BROWNPEOPLE.

IT'S POLITICS.

>> REPUBLICANS REALLY HAVEBANKED HARD ON TAKING CARE OF

THEIR BASE, GIVING THEIR BASEWHAT THE BASE WANTS.

>> Larry: WAIT, THEY WANT TOGIVE THEM A TIME MACHINE TO THE

1950s?

DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THATIS?

THEY COULD BE STUCK THEREFOREVER.

HOW WILL THEY GENERATE 1.21JIGAWATTS TO GET BAG TO THE

FUTURE!

I'M JUST KIDDING.

THEY WANT TO STAY THERE.

WHAT EXACTLY DID SHE SAY ABOUTIMMIGRATION THAT MADE THE

REPUBLICANS FIND THE WORM IN HERTEQUILA?

>> I BELIEVE THAT THE RIGHT ANDTHE OBLIGATION TO WORK IS ONE

THAT'S SHARED BY EVERYONE INTHIS COUNTRY REGARDLESS OF HOW

THEY CAME HERE.

>> Larry: AND TO PROVE HOWMUCH REPUBLICANS DISAGREED WITH

THAT IDEA, THEY KEPT HER FROMHER WORK FOR AS LONG AS THEY

COULD.

WELL DONE.

(APPLAUSE)ALL RIGHT.

AND BY THE WAY, LET'S BECLEAR --

THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I'M EVERGOING TO BE PRO-LYNCH.

I WANTED TO BE CLEAR ABOUT THAT.

OKAY?

HERE'S AN EXAMPLE OF WHEN I'MANTI-LYNCH.

YOU'VE ALL HEARD ABOUT THEDEVASTATING CASE OF FREDDIE

GRAY, THE 25-YEAR-OLD WHO DIEDOF SPINAL INJURIES HE SUSTAINED

WHILE BEING ARRESTED INBALTIMORE.

HERE'S HOW COPS ARESWEET-TALKING THE PROTESTERS.

>> PROTESTERS HURLED INSULTS ATPOLICE.

THEY WERE INCENSED BY THE HEADOF BALTIMORE'S FRATERNAL ORDER

OF POLICE WHO LIKENED THEM TO ALYNCH MOB.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)>> Larry: ARE YOU KIDDING ME,

POLICE?

YOU HAD ONE JOB!

TO "NOT" USE THE WORDS "LYNCHMOB!"

YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT, IT'S RIGHTTHERE ON YOUR CARS!

THAT'S LITERALLY THE WORST THINGYOU COULD POSSIBLY SAY WHEN

YOU'RE TRYING TO EASE TENSIONS.

BUT THEY DID TO TRY TO SMOOTH ITOVER.

>> AT A PRESS CONFERENCEWEDNESDAY, GENE RYAN TRIED TO

WALK BACK THAT COMMENT.

>> MAYBE I SHOULD REWORD THAT.

I DON'T WANT IT TO TURN INTO ALYNCH MOB.

>> Larry: OH, SO IT'S A TIMINGISSUE.

THEY'RE STILL A LYNCH MOB,THEY'RE JUST NOT ONE YET.

THEY SHOULD GIVE YOU THE MOP TOTHE CITY, BECAUSE LET ME TELL

YOU SOMETHING, SIR, YOU CLEANEDTHAT MESS UP.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

PUT IT TO ME IN A DIFFERENT WAY?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

NOW IT'S TIME FOR "CRAZYPREACHER TIME ROUNDUP"!

♪♪>> CRAZY --

TEACHER TIME!

ROUND UP!

♪♪ISN'T THAT THE SAME ONE WE USED

BEFORE?

OH, BASIC CABLE.

SEASON ONE. WHAT ARE YOU GONNADO?

ALL RIGHT.

SO WHAT'S THE TEACHER TIMEUPDATE?

>> A FORMER CORONA SPECIAL EDTEACHER HAS BEEN SENTENCED FOR

HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITHFIVE STUDENTS AT THE HIGH SCHOOL

WHERE SHE TAUGHT.

>> THIS HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER ANDVOLLEYBALL COACH HAD SEX WITH A

STUDENT AND THEN SENT HIM NUDEPICTURES.

>> MEGAN CONNERS, A 30-YEAR-OLDTEACHER, WAS ARRESTED FOR HAVING

A ROMANTIC AND SEXUALRELATIONSHIP WITH ONE OF HER

STUDENTS -- A 15-YEAR-OLD BOY.

>> Larry: DAMN, IS THERESOMETHING IN THE WATER I DON'T

KNOW ABOUT?

BECAUSE IT REALLY FEELS LIKETHERE'S A RASH OF THESE THINGS

GOING AROUND.

AND JUST TO BE CLEAR, THAT'SDIFFERENT FROM THE RASH THAT

THESE TEACHERS ARE PROBABLYSPREADING BY SEXING EVERY BOY AT

THE "BRIGADOON" CAST PARTY.

WHEN WE STARTED NOTICING THIS,WE DID A SEARCH, AND LITERALLY

DOZENS OF STORIES POPPED UP FROMTHIS YEAR ALONE.

HERE'S ONE FROM YESTERDAY!

>> A UTAH TEACHER WHOSE SEXUALEXPLOITS WITH UNDERAGE STUDENTS

WERE A RUNNING JOKE AT DAVISHIGH SCHOOL PLEADED GUILTY TO

SEX WITH THREE BOYS IN DAVISCOUNTY COURT.

>> Larry: WHAT WERE THESERUNNING JOKES?!

KNOCK, KNOCK, WHO'S THERE?

MS. DAVIS HAVING SEX WITH ONE OFHER STUDENTS.

UH...

OKAY.

WEIRD JOKE.

BUT LOOK, I GET IT.

TO A LOT OF BOYS, THIS IS AJOKE.

IT'S FUN.

IT'S COOL.

I'M NOT PROUD OF THIS, BUTTHERE'S DEFINITELY PART OF ME

THAT'S, LIKE, HEY, WHERE WERETHESE TEACHERS WHEN I WAS IN

HIGH SCHOOL?

(APPLAUSE)I'M JUST KEEPING IT 100!

17-YEAR-OLD LARRY WILMORE WOULDLOVE TO BUMP COMMON CORES WITH

THE TEACHER-FOLK, BUT HERE'S THETHING -- 17-YEAR-OLD LARRY

WILMORE WAS A DAMN IDIOT.

HERE ARE SOME OTHER THINGS17-YEAR-OLD LARRY WILMORE WOULD

HAVE LIKED TO DO.

(LAUGHTER)NOW IT MAKES SENSE.

COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO.

OH, THANK YOU!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HEY, GUYS!

THIS IS THE TRUTH!

AND THESE STORIES DON'T STOP.

EARLIER THIS MONTH, A TEACHER INPENNSYLVANIA WHO WAS CAUGHT

HAVING SEX WITH A 17-YEAR-OLDSTUDENT WAS DESCRIBED BY A JUDGE

AS "DANGLING CANDY" IN FRONT OFTHE BOY.

UM, NO.

THIS IS DANGLING CANDY.

ALL RIGHT?

(APPLAUSE)THAT'S HOW YOU DANGLE CANDY!

HAVING SEX WITH A 17-YEAR-OLDSTUDENT IN A CAR IN AN

INDUSTRIAL PARK IS SEXUALLYASSAULTING A MINOR.

A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

BUT THE TEACHER, WHO PLED GUILTYAND WAS ELIGIBLE FOR 7 TO 14

YEARS OF JAIL, WAS ONLY GIVEN 30DAYS.

AND PART OF THE REASONING FORTHE LIGHT SENTENCE HANDED DOWN

BY THE MALE JUDGE -- WHAT YOUNGMAN WOULD NOT JUMP ON THAT

CANDY?

(AUDIENCE REACTS)HEY, BONER JUDGE, THE ONUS IS ON

THE CANDY TO NOT JUMP ON THEYOUNG MAN!

BUT THIS TOO OFTEN IS THEREACTION WHEN A BOY IS THE

VICTIM.

LOOK, YOUNG BOYS MAY NOT BECONCERNED ABOUT LOSING THEIR

INNOCENCE, BUT THEY DESERVE TOHAVE IT JUST AS MUCH AS GIRLS

DO.

RIGHT?

(APPLAUSE)BUT NO MATTER WHAT THE AGE,

AUTHORITY FIGURES SHOULD NOTEXPLOIT THE PEOPLE UNDERNEATH

THEM BY GETTING UNDERNEATH THEM.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL.

OUR VERY OWN SHENAZ TREASURY.

NEXT UP, WRITER AND DIRECTOR OFTHE NEW DOCUMENTARY "MISERY

LOVES COMEDY," WHICH OPENS ONFRIDAY, ACTOR AND COMEDIAN KEVIN

POLLAK OF THE NEW JERSEYPOLLAKS.

AND FINALLY, COMEDIENNE ANDOSCAR-WINNING ACTRESS STARRING

IN THE NEW MOVIE "BLACK BIRD"WHICH OPENS ON FRIDAY, DAME

MO'NIQUE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)ENGLISH ACTORS ALWAYS GET THAT

KIND OF RESPECT.

JUST THOUGHT I'D PUT THAT OUTTHERE.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THESEINAPPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIPS.

AT LEAST MOST PEOPLE THINK THEYARE.

NOW IT'S THE FEMALE AND MALESTUDENTS.

I DECIDED TO SHOW THIS FIRSTBECAUSE I MADE THE JOKE ABOUT

WHY DID THIS NOT HAPPEN TO MEWHEN I WAS A KID?

LET ME SHOW YOU ME WHEN I WAS AKID FIRST.

OKAY, TAKE IT OFF!

WHO WOULDN'T WANT A SLICE OFTHAT?

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT, RIGHT?

IS THERE A DOUBLE STANDARD HERE?

DO WE THINK WE'RE AS MAD WHEN ITHAPPENS TO BOYS?

>> THERE IS A DOUBLE STANDARD.

THERE ALWAYS WILL BE.

IT'S RIDICULOUS EITHER WAY.

IT'S HORRIBLE FOR A TEACHER --LET THE KID GRADUATE FROM HIGH

SCHOOL.

I MEAN, HOW LONG -- HOW LONG YOUGOT TO WAIT HERE?

>> Larry: THE TEACHER PART ISOKAY, RIGHT?

(LAUGHTER)>> IS SHE HIS TEACHER OR JUST A

TEACHER?

IT DEPENDS ON THE AGE DIFFERENCEAS WELL.

IF SHE'S 23 AND HE'S 17, IT MAYBE OKAY IF SHE'S NOT HIS

TEACHER.

>> AS A MOMMA OF 4 SONS, OKAY --(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I HAVE FOUR SONS.

I DON'T THINK I WOULD WANT THETEACHER TO BE ARRESTED.

IF MY SONS WERE 17 YEARS OLD ANDTHE TEACHER WAS 22 YEARS OLD,

BECAUSE, LET ME ASK YOU, LIKEYOU SAY, AT 17 YEARS OLD --

>> TO BE ABLE TO FINISH SCHOOL,THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T WANT HER

ARRESTED?

FINISH HIGH SCHOOL FIRST THENYOU CAN TAKE HER.

>> YES.

AT 17, YOU WOULD HAVE LAID WITHYOUR 22-YEAR-OLD TEACHER.

>> I WOULD HAVE LAID WITHANYTHING THAT SAID YES!

THAT'S WHY I SHOULD NOT BE INCHARGE AT THAT AGE WHEN IT COMES

TO ADULTS.

LOOK, ONE OF THE REASONS IBELIEVE WE ARE ADULTS IS BECAUSE

WE SHOULD PROTECT CHILDREN.

>> YES.

AND I THINK IT BREAKS THATCONTRACT WHEN ADULTS ARE ALLOWED

>> I WANT TO PROTECT MY CHILDRENBUT I DON'T KNOW THAT I WANT

THAT TEACHER TO GO TO PRISON.

IT WOULD BE A WOMAN-TO-WOMANCONVERSATION LIKE, YOU SHOWED

HIM WHAT?

GIRL!

NEXT TIME MAKE SURE YOU GIVE HIMAN A.

HE'S NOT DOING GOOD IN SPANISH,SO, OKAY...

>> LET'S SWITCH IT TO YOU HAVEFOUR DAUGHTERS --

>> LOCK HIS ASS UP!

(APPLAUSE)IT IS A DOUBLE STANDARD.

IT IS.

BUT YOU SAY TO YOURSELF WHEN ITCOMES TO BOY-GIRL, MAN-WOMAN,

IT'S A HUSBAND AND WIFE, LAYINGIN THE BED, A BURGLAR BREAKS IN

THE HOUSE, WHO IS EXPECTED TOGET THE BURGLAR?

>> Larry: DOES THE BURGLARHAVE WEAPONS?

(LAUGHTER)HOW IS OUR RELATIONSHIP AT THE

TIME?

>> IT'S A DOUBLE STANDARD.

THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: YOU BROUGHT UP THE

AGE THING.

HOW BIG A DEAL WITH THE AGETHING?

17 AND 22 OKAY?

THE BOY 17?

DOES IT HAVE TO BE CLOSER?

WHAT IF THE TEACHER IS 18 ANDTHE KID IS 17.

WHAT IF THE KID IS 17 AND 11MONTHS AND THE TEACHER JUST

TURNED 18?

CAN THE BOY HAVE A SEX WITH ASUBSTITUTE TEACHER?

IS THAT OKAY?

>> THAT'S A ONE-NIGHT STAND SOIT'S OKAY.

(LAUGHTER)>> THE SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER?

WHAT'S THE TEACHER? IS YOGATEACHER OK?

(LAUGHTER)>> YOU JUST SAID A TEACHER.

IT COULD BE ANY TEACHER.

SWIMMING COACH?

>> Larry: OKAY.

(LAUGHTER)HOW MUCH IS SOCIAL MEDIA AT

PLAY?

IT'S SO EASY TO CONTACT KIDS.

Facebook.

IT'S NOT LIKE IN MY DAY.

YOU WOULD HAVE TO CALL AND SAY,HELLO, MR. THOMPSON, THIS IS

MR. WILMORE.

IS YOUR DAUGHTER THERE?

(LAUGHTER)THAT WOULD NOT GO OVER WELL IS.

SOCIAL MEDIA TO BLAME?

>> THE BOYS CAN'T KEEP A SECRET.

-- THEY CAN'T KEEP IT A SECRET.

>> THE ISSUE IS THE BOYS ARE TOOYAPPY.

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: THAT'S TRUE.

IF IT HAPPENS TO THE BOY, HE ISGOING TO GO BACK AND TELL THE

WHOLE SCHOOL.

>> EXACTLY.

WHEN IT'S A BOY, A BOY IS JUSTLOOKING TO BE LAID.

A GIRL AT 16 IS LOOKING FORLOVE.

THAT'S WHAT CAN MAKE THEDIFFERENCE NORMALLY.

YOU HAVE YOUR CASE WHERE A BOYFALLS MADLY IN LOVE, BUT AT 16

ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT LOVE ORJUST LAYIN'?

>> Larry: WHAT IF HE LOVES TOBE LAID?

(LAUGHTER)>> RIGHT, BUT THAT'S ALL HE

THOUGHT ABOUT.

>> IN ORDER TO LEARN LOVE HEMUST FIRST BE LAID.

>> Larry: YES.

GIVE IT TO HIM.

GIVE IT TO HIM.

THAT'S POETRY.

THAT'S POETRY.

>> Larry: DO YOU KNOW ANYBODYWHO WENT WITH THIS AT YOUR

SCHOOL?

I WENT WITH A KID AND HE DATEDTHE SECRETARY AND NOBODY THOUGHT

IT WAS A BIG DEAL.

>> THERE WAS A VERY YOUNGGIRL -- WELL, A VERY MATURE

SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL WHO DATEDA SORT OF BURT REYNOLDS KIND OF

TEACHER, THE YOUNGER, GOODLOOKING BURT REYNOLDS.

BUT SHE LOOKED 22 AND SHE WAS,I'M SURE, 17 OR 18 AND SHE WAS A

SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL.

>> Larry: NO ONE HAD AN ISSUE.

NO ONE HAD AN ISSUE WITH IT,NO.

>> I HAD AN EXPERIENCE.

MY BOYFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL HADSEX WITH THE TEACHER AND THE

PERSON WHO WAS DAMAGED WAS MEBECAUSE, YOU KNOW THE BOY, HE IS

VERY CONFIDENT.

HE HAS TWO KIDS NOW.

THE TEACHER, I DON'T KNOW, SHE'SOLD, BUT I'M STILL ON TINDER

>> Larry: YOU'RE THE VICTIM INTHAT ONE

(LAUGHTER)>> I'M THE VICTIM.

I'M SO DAMAGED.

I PEOPLE TO LAUGH TO FEEL GOODABOUT MYSELF.

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: I THINK A LOT OF

INNOCENT TEACHERS, I FEEL SORRYFOR THEM BECAUSE IF PEOPLE SAY

AN INNOCENT TEACHER PHRASE, ITMAY SOUND A LITTLE CREEPY LIKE

YOU NEED TO APPLY YOURSELF.

DOES THIS SOUND TEACHER ORCREEPY?

ALL RIGHT, BOYS, HIT THESHOWERS.

>> CREEPY. DEPENDS ON WHO'SSAYING IT.

>> Larry: YOU DO A LOT OFIMPRESSIONS.

WHAT IF CHRISTOPHER WALKENSAID IT?

>> HEY, BOYS...

>> YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY IT!

>> IT'S TIME TO HIT THE SHOWERS!

NOW IT'S CREEPY ON PURPOSE!

ALL RIGHT.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE MASTEREDREPRODUCTIVE BIOLOGY.

SOUNDS A LITTLE CREEPY.

WHAT IF PACINO SAID THAT?

HOOAH!

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU MASTEREDREPRODUCTIVE -- WHAT WAS THE

LAST PART?

(SOUNDING LIKE AL PACINO)AND WHEN DID ALPACINO BECOME AN

OLD BLACK BLUES PLAYER?

>> Larry: HERE'S AN INNOCENTTEACHER PHRASE: WHY DON'T YOU

PUT IT TO ME IN A DIFFERENT WAY?

>> SOUNDS CREEPY.

>> Larry: WILLIAM SHATNER, WHYDON'T YOU PUT IT TO ME IN A

DIFFERENT WAY?

>> WILLIAM SHATNER?

>> Larry: YEAH(MIMICKING)

>> WHY DON'T YOU -- PUT IT TO MEIN A DIFFERENT WAY?

>> Larry: THAT'S ALL WE NEED ISTO HAVE KEVIN POLLAK TO DO THIS

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACKAFTER THIS.

THANK YOU, KEVIN!

>> Larry: THAT'S ALL THE TIMEWE HAVE FOR TONIGHT.

I WANT TO THANK OUR PANEL SHENAZTREASURY AND DAME MO'NIQUE AND

KEVIN POLLAK! DON'T FORGET TOFOLLOW US ON TWITTER AND

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK TO FOLLOWEVERYTHING WE'RE DOING ONLINE

AND TO QUOTE VAN HALEN, GOT ITBAD! GOT IT BAD! GOT IT BAD!

I'M HOT FOR TEACHER!

GOODNIGHTLY, EVERYONE!

♪♪(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

♪♪(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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