June 23, 2016 - Arsenio Hall

  • 06/23/2016

House Democrats stage a sit-in for the sake of gun control, and Larry questions the sincerity of Donald Trump's presidential run with Arsenio Hall, Mike Yard and Robin Thede.

Yes, yes.

Thank you very much.

Welcome to The Nightly Show.

-Man... man, oh, man.-(audience chanting "Larry")

-What a fun, fun crowd.-(chanting continues)

Thank you very much.

Oh, nothing like a good"Larry, Larry, Larry"

-at the end of the week.-WOMAN: Love you, Larry.

I love you, too, baby.

-I love you, too.-MAN: Love you even more, Larry.

You love me even more? What?

(laughter)

I'm the guy they're talkingabout-- Larry Wilmore.

Oh, Arsenio Hall joins uson the panel tonight, guys.

-I'm very excited about that.-(cheers and applause)

Whoo.

(Larry and audience whooping)

That's right,all the dogs love Arsenio.

-Um...-(laughter)

Okay, last week,a massacre in Orlando

forced a Senate filibuster

that forced a voteon gun control legislation

that forced, well, nothing.

But...

that didn't stop the issuefrom moving, yesterday,

to the floor of Congress

to the literal floorof the House.

A showdown over gun controlplaying out right now.

Democratic lawmakersare staging a sit-in

on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives.

Yeah, a good old-fashionedsit-in.

-That's right.-(cheering)

Yeah, man,that's what I'm talking about.

I call that a total throwbackThursday power move.

And it really beats the photoof me with bleached tips

and a soul patch from 2003.

-Yeah.-(laughter)

You win, Democrats.

(laughs):You win, man.

Oh, my God, I know.

Now the sit-in endedearlier today,

but you may be asking yourself,

"Well,what is a sit-in anyway?"

Okay, so here nowwith the history of sit-ins

is our very own Holly Walker.

-(laughs softly)-(cheers and applause)

-Thanks, Larry.-Sure.

The history of sittingis a fascinating tale

dating all the way backto the Neolithic period.

According to anthropologistsat the University of Emory,

the moment of discoverywent something like this.

Me want to get closer to fire.

(grunts)What if me bend leg?

-Oh... Oh... Ah...-Oh... Oh...

Uh, Holly. Holly.

-Holly, Holly.-(cavemen grunting)

Uh, hang on a second, Holly.

Uh, I asked about the historyof sit-ins.

Um, you thought I wantedthe history of sitting?

No, no, no. No, no.

You said sitting.

-You definitely said sitting.-No. No, no, no, no, no.

Hol-Holly, we-we don't havethat kind of time.

Well, that wasa $12,000 mistake.

(laughter)

I guess I'll just tellthe gladiators to go home.

Seriously, what the (bleep).

Like, we were in makeupfor, like, two hours

-for this (bleep).-What?!

-Not cool.-Don't blame me.

Yeah, this is glued on.

WALKER:No!

Anyway, all right.

Okay, here...

During the 1960Civil Rights Movement,

sit-ins were a formof civil disobedience

where people... sat.

-Okay, um...-(laughter)

Guess I didn't reallyneed Holly, I guess.

I don't know.

Okay, so anyhow,C-SPAN was there

to capture every momentof this impassioned plea

for gun control sanity.

MAN: The Republicans turned off the cameras to the House floor.

Those cameras are controlledby House leadership.

(laughs):What?

The Republicans control C-SPAN?

Ah. You know what?

I guess that explains whywhen I turn on C-SPAN now,

it's mostly this.

(laughter)

Why has TiVo never suggested that to me?

I don't want another episodeof Royal Pains, TiVo.

Uh-uh.

Give me the gun ladies, please.

All right, so without C-SPAN,

lawmakers were forcedto broadcast their outrage

via apps like Periscope.

And let me tell you something,they took 'em to church.

I say to the Speaker,

you need to do your job.

We need to ban all weapons.

-We have got to say,this is not about us. -No.

This is bigger than us!

That's right. Amen.

-Mm-hmm.-(cheering, applause)

Preach it, Elijah.

Preach it. Preach it.

Now, now, yield the remainderof your time to Jesus.

(laughter)

(Larry mumbling)

Yeah, I think they really got athing about air-conditioning

in black churches,I'm just saying.

I'm saying.Just, uh, yeah.

Just-just up the gameto the 21st century there.

All right.(laughs)

But, uh, but this sit-in

was more than an afternoonin church.

This was a serious way forDemocrats to show their anger

with the state of gun controlin this country.

And I know that's truebecause this was the guy

leading the congregation.

Now is the timeto get in the way.

Give us a vote.

-That's right.-Let us vote.

We came here to do our job.

Yeah, representative and...

-(cheering)-That's right.

That's right. Yep.

Representative and mother(bleep)Civil Rights legend

John mother(bleep) Lewis, y'all.

(cheering)

You don't mess with John Lewis.

That man knows how to sit-in.

-(laughter)-He...

You bring him only three piecesof shrimp in his shrimp scampi,

and he'll wait you out

until you bring himthat fourth shrimp.

"No shrimp, no peace."Very good.

(laughter)

But with John Lewis in charge,

I was surprised to readthis tweet

from Republican CongressmanMark Walker.

"Calling this a sit-inis a disgrace to Woolworths.

"They sat-in for rights.

Dems are sitting-into strip them away."

Okay, first of all,a disgrace to Woolworths?

Excuse me, Mr. Walker, you doremember that black people

weren't allowed to sit at thecounter at Woolworths, yes?

Woolworths weren'tthe victims here.

That's like tweeting"The attack on Pearl Harbor

was such a tragedyfor those torpedoes."

-(laughter)-Mm-mm.

Which brings usto House Speaker Paul Ryan

who interrupted his eveningP90X cool down...

(laughter)

Right.

Uh...

Ooh, yeah.

(laughs): ...uh, to scoldhis Democratic colleagues.

WOMAN: Speaker Ryan lambasting the move

as political theater.

This is nothing morethan a publicity stunt.

A publicity stunt?

This an impassioned cry againstan epidemic of violence

plaguing our country, wrappedinside a publicity stunt.

Right?

That's more thanpolitical theater.

Unlike the Senate's fallproduction of My Fair Lady.

(laughter)

Let me tell you something,let me tell you something.

Dianne Feinstein was arevelation as Eliza Doolittle.

Let me just say.Let me just say.

Although is thatMitch McConnell as Higgins?

Is that right?

(with twang):Uh, then the rain in Spain...

it fal... it falls mainlyon the plain.

I don't...If you insist, right.

But as per his job title,

Speaker Ryankept on speaking.

We are not going to take awaya citizen's due process rights.

Okay, so here's the deal--Ryan's not wrong,

even if he's saying it becausehe's gotten almost $37,000

from the NRAwhile being in Congress.

Uh, we've mentionedthat no-fly, no-buy

involves secret liststhat are rife with problems

and disproportionately affectbrown people.

And even peoplewith some familiar names.

People end up on no-fly liststhat should not be on there,

like the lateSenator Ted Kennedy

-Right. -and alsoRepresentative John Lewis.

The (bleep).

John Lewiswas on the no-fly list?

Sit-in John Lewis?

America's tush laureate,if you will.

(sighs)So he's advocating for a bill

that would do awaywith due process

that could unfairly targetbrown people,

like John Lewis,who was unfairly targeted.

(frustrated groaning)

All right, look.

As far as I'm concerned,this entire sit-in,

though well intentioned,was for a flawed law.

Hey, Democrats, I agreewe should be taking action

and getting things done,but let's also take the time

to think things through.

Taking away people'sConstitutional rights

because it makes us feel betteris not the right thing to do.

I mean, sure, it's easy tojustify because it's about guns,

but that's just what it's abouttoday. And for the Republicans,

when almost 90% of Americansagree on something

like background checks,you need to shut the (bleep) up

and get something done.

Now...

(grunts)

Can you... Please,

can you promise me this,both sides?

There's so much common ground

to be found on this issue.

Instead of a sit-in can you havea do-in, and do something?

Maybe? Please?

Please.

Um, what say you?

The House is going onto a recess, not gonna

come back into session,actually, until after July 4.

Oh, Jesus.

We gonna be here a long time.We'll be right back.

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

All right, welcome back.

Guys, just a few weeks ago,everybody celebrated

when we found out aboutthe new Tubmans. Yeah. Right?

It finally felt like the worldwas starting to acknowledge

that women and people of colorhave had a significant impact

on this country's history.

Well, everyone, that is,except this guy.

REPORTER: Congressman Steve King of Iowa tried to tack on

an amendment to a spending bill that would have prevented

the Treasury department from using funds

to redesign any U.S. currency.

Hold on. This can't be true.

What possible reason couldsomeone have to do this?

REPORTER: "It's not about Harriet Tubman.

It's about keeping the pictureon the $20.

He added that it was"racist and sexist

"to say a womanor a person of color

should be added to currency".

There are, of course, currentlyzero women or people of color

on U.S. paper currency.

That's the entire pointof adding Tubman.

(cheering, applause)

I love that he can't evenstop himself from laughing

at the ridiculousness of this.

How the hell is putting HarrietTubman on the $20 bill

racist and sexist?And who is Steve King, anyway?

Let me tell you, wheneversomebody shows up on our radar

and we need to knowmore about them,

Robin Thede helps us outin a segment

we like to call Who Dis?

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

Thanks, Larry.

Now, like you, as soon as Iheard

Iowa congressman Steve King saythat Tubman on the $20

was racist and sexist, I had toask the age-old question

you have when you get a textfrom an unknown number

at 2:00 a.m.: who dis?

Turns out "dis" is anuber conservative Republican

who can barely mask his racismin his reasoning

for why Harrietshouldn't be on the bill.

Representative King claimsadding the abolitionist icon

to the $20 bill is nothing morethan liberal activism

-on the part of the president.-Interesting.

(laughs)You got that right.

Interesting.

But wait, who dis?

Clearly, he has no good reasonfor taking Harriet off the $20

other than him not wanting tosoil his hands by even touching

a picture of black skin.And he's trying to just

bait people by sayingit's racist or sexist.

Uh, news flash: the onlything that's racist and sexist

is proposing an amendmentto remove

the first woman of colorfrom the $20.

(cheering, applause)

So, then I decidedto do some digging

to really find out, who dis?

And, wouldn't you know it,dis fool

is racistagainst immigrants too.

Specifically Mexican children.

They aren't all valedictorians,they weren't all brought in

by their parents. Uh, forevery one who's a valedictorian,

there's another hundredout there that, um,

they weigh 130 poundsand they've got calves

the size of cantaloupesbecause they're hauling

75 pounds of marijuanaacross the desert.

Who thinks dis?!

But I'm sure you have no problempaying them six cents an hour

to pick those cantaloupes.

Look, Steve King has becomefamous

for his anti-immigrant rhetoric,even calling an activist

who sat next to Michelle Obamaat the State of the Union

a "deportable".

Deportable?

Unless you are talking aboutdeportable computer

you used to typethat terrible tweet,

the term is not okay.

And he's not justsome fringe nut case.

By 2016, Steve King had becomethe anti-immigration voice

for Republicansand he succeeded in blocking

every major immigration bill.Oh, and just for fun,

he's also a birtherand a huge Ted Cruz supporter.

He followed Cruz around duringhis bid for president and,

like a third graderin their first school play,

and mouthed every wordof his speeches.

On ethnic lines, on religiouslines, on gender lines,

on socioeconomic lines...

Seriously?

Seriously?

Who the (bleep) is dis?!

(cheering, applause)

In conclusion, who dis?

Well, dis is a dangerous,foul-mouthed racist and sexist

trash pile of a manwho I am disgusted to say

representsmy home state of Iowa.

But there is one happypiece of news to report

about King's effortsto get Harriet off the $20.

REPORTER: The House rules committee decided

not to consider it on the House floor.

-(laughs)-(cheering, applause)

I love it. Even membersof your own party

wouldn't consideryour asinine amendment.

That's what you get.

And now, next timeyou try to (bleep),

it's not gonna be so easy,because now we all know who dis.

Right. Robin Thede, everybody.We'll be right back.

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

Welcome back.I'm here with my panel.

First up, Nightly Show contributor Mike Yard.

(cheering, applause)

And Nightly Show contributorRobin Thede.

(cheering, applause)

And he's the co-host of the newmusic series Greatest Hits,

premiering next Thursday on ABC.And you can catch him

at Harrah's Resort in AtlanticCity on Saturday, July 9.

Legendary TV host, comedian,actor Arsenio Hall, everybody.

-(cheering, applause, woofing)-Yes.

Thank you.

That's right.And for everyone at home,

join our conversationright now on Twitter,

@NightlyShow, using #Tonightly.Now, okay, so,

over the course of two weeks,Trump really

seems to be falling apart,or his candidacy.

I don't know if he is.But he fired

his campaign manager, hiscampaign virtually has no cash,

his numbers are falling...I think his unfavorables, like,

are at 61% or somethinglike that. He was lambasted...

For his-his unfavorables...

For his reactionto the Orlando shootings.

-THEDE: Oh, yeah.-Um...

-Arsenio, I'm gladyou're here, all right? -Mm.

-Because you a per...-I know him.

You have a personal connectionwith him. -I...

I won The Apprentice. I'm theJackie Robinson of Apprentice.

-I was the first.-That's right.

So, so let me ask you, that,in your heart of hearts, okay?

Uh-huh? -Do you think DonaldTrump is truly invested

in becoming presidentor is all this a con?

Is this, like, just a...Is he playing us right now?

N... Oh, what... See, Larry,first of all,

this is Donald Trump,and you know that ego--

he wants to rule the world.This ain't no game for him.

-THEDE: Wow.-WILMORE: Uh-huh.

You know, this-this ain't no...He-he... Right?

He want-he wantsto rule the world

and I think he just, you know,he needs some black friends.

You know?

-He definitely does.-I mean, more than Omarosa.

-I know what y'allare thinking. -Right.

Yeah, but do you think...But, see, to me, it seems like

when he started winning,he was like,

"Oh, (bleep), I was joking.

-I didn't think this was gonnahappen." -Well-well...

But Larry, he got to win now,

because he's ruined his lifein every other place

-but Pennsylvania Avenue.-He has. That is a fact.

-That is a fact.-You know, I... I have a tie

that he gave me once.It's a Donald Trump tie. -Right.

Made in China.He can't even go to China now.

-No, he can't. It's true.-You know?

-To even get his own ties.Yeah, yeah. -Right, right.

He can't go give ordersto the ladies.

Nobody's sewing for him in Chinaever again.

-So nice. I love that....-No, I think he's been trying

to get out of this, but...

-You think he was activelytrying to get out? -I mean,

look at the (bleep)he's been saying.

Does that sound likesomebody that wanna win?

-(laughter, applause) -WILMORE:It's working. But it's working.

And I know, and he's like us--I'm sure every time

Trump goes home, he's like,"What the (bleep) is going on?!"

YARD: "I just made funof a handicapped dude

-and they love me!" -Yeah."I tried the Mexican joke,

and they like me more."

And that's...you know what's crazy

about him hating immigrants--the Donald Trump I know...

back in the day didn't (bleep)nobody but immigrants.

-(laughter)-THEDE: Yeah! Yeah! Exactly.

-(whooping, applause)-WILMORE: Um, back in the day?

-I believe he's married...-Yes. Yeah, I mean,

other than...other than Marla Maples...

-THEDE: Yeah. -WILMORE: Mm.-You know?

And she, who knows?I don't even know where she is.

-(laughter) -That might belike Mission: Impossible.

She might do this one day,and it's like, oh, that's...!

-(laughter) -You know?She may not even be white.

You know, like, the onlywhite woman he really wants

is his daughter,and you know that.

-(groaning, jeering) -THEDE:Yes! That's-that's my theory.

That's my theory, is that heactually only ran for president

to impress Ivanka.

-I really think so.-Really?

-Yeah. He was like... -Youthink... Wait. He's running...

-YARD: That's whyhe let her fire people. -Yes.

And you know whatno one else talks about?

He has another daughterthat gets no molest-y love.

-That's Marla Maples' daughter.Yes! -That's weird. Yes.

-Yes!-It's so true, though.

THEDE: How come you don't wantto have sex with that daughter?

No molest-y love.

-YARD: No molest-y love.-THEDE: Yeah, no molest-y love.

-Okay. All right.-That's messed up!

-It is messed up.-On so many levels.

-Yeah.-So is that the art of the deal?

-How to get molest-y love fromyour kid? -Yeah. Chapter 12.

WILMORE (laughing):Oh, I did not know that.

Okay, I want to show you this,

'cause I wantyour reaction to this.

Can we show that clipof what he said at his rally

when he was lookingfor his African American friend?

-Oh! -My God.-We got to show that.

-Oh! Don't show this.-Let's show that. Okay.

We had a case where we hadan African American guy

who was a fan of mine.

Great fan. Great guy!

In fact, I want to find outwhat's going on with him.

Do you know what I'm...

Ah, look at my African Americanover here. Look at him.

(laughing)

"My African American"?

Yeah, he must not have gotthe e-mail. We're free now.

-You don't own us. -Yeah.-(laughter)

-You don't own us.-Yeah.

We're free, brah.

Enough with your trip downmemory lane, mother (bleep).

-"My African American"!-I love how it's...

I love how it's just his gameof Where's Waldo,

-but just with black people.-Right.

Like it was hard to find himat a Trump rally.

Well, he was so shocked."Oh, my God!"

If he had a black friend,he wouldn't have put "my"

-in that sentence, you know?-Right.

Does he thinkyou're his black friend?

Oh, not after tonight.

(laughter)

You knocked that out.I think you knocked that out.

Let me ask you this,Okay, here's the challenge.

-Let me as you this,let me ask you this. -Yeah.

If Trump said, "Okay,I am coming out for reparations

"for black people.Hillary's not gonna say this.

"I'm saying reparationsfor black people.

All of you guys get...I'm writing a $25,000..."

See? Your facechanging right now.

"I'm writing everybodya $25,000 check right now,

"and I get to say (bleep)!That's right!

"That's right!I get to say (bleep).

You get $25,000.Who's voting for me now?"

For 25 grand,you can't call me (bleep).

-Are you voting for him now?-For 25 grand,

you can't call me (bleep),are you kidding me?

Okay, he won't call you that.Can he...

-Are you voting for him, though?-For 25 grand, no. Nah.

-Not for 25 grand. -But he...for me to vote for him,

he got to do, like, a Kool-Aidcommercial or something.

(laughter)

Like, a strawberry Kool-Aid...And I'll be like,

"Aah, I'm thinking,I'm thinking."

For me to vote for him--'cause you know

I'm the reparations dude, I'vebeen begging for that (bleep).

-So it's a matter of price?-But here's what... Yes.

And this is what it is.If he gave 25 grand

and... like we said earlier,free college...

-for black... black people...-That's your price?

-It depends, though.I got to see... -(laughter)

'Cause I don't trust him.I got see the legislation...

-Let me just say two words.-'Cause he might be slick.

Let me just say two words.Let me just say two words.

-What?-Sell-out.

-Aah! -Okay, we'll be rightback. We'll be right back.

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

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