Little Ship of Horrors

  • Season 2, Ep 209
  • 08/18/2011

Randall is infected by horrifying plants at sea when Twayne throws a cruise ship party.

THANKS FOR A GOOD TIME, RANDALL.

WE BETTER GET GOING BEFORETHERE'S NOTHING LEFT OF YOU.

- THANK YOU, LADIES.IT WAS A PLEASURE.

HEY, MARK, COME ON IN.JOIN THE STEW.

- EW.YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M JUST GONNA WAIT FOR THATDEAD SKIN TO BOIL AWAY FIRST.

- SUIT YOURSELF.

- MMM, THIS IS WHATI'M TALKING ABOUT.

I'M RELAXING WITH MY BUDDY.I GOT MY LEI.

[rumbling]HEY!

CORRECTION, I HAD MY LEI.

[ominous music]

- HMM.AH--OH, YES!

OH, GOD, YES.

- RANDALL, ARE YOU OKAY?

- OH, YEAH, MAN.

THAT IS SOME LEI.

THAT IS GETTINGALL UP IN MY CAVITY.

- I'LL, UH, LEAVE YOUTO YOUR SOAK.

[ominous music]

- YEAH, GETTING RICHWOULD BE A LOT EASIER

IF I HAD SOMETHINGPEOPLE WANTED TO BUY.

BURN IN HELL, STEVE BLOBS!

MY GOD, IT'S A NEW STRAINOF DROSERA MUSCIPALA,

THE INCREDIBLY RARE PLANT

WITH STRANGEAND UNPREDICTABLE PROPERTIES.

IT'S MY LUCKY DAY.

SEE YOU LOSERS LATER.MEEP.

UH OH, IT'S MAGIC TIME.

WHO'S READYFOR A MAGIC SHOW, GANG?

- OUT OF MY WAY!

I WANT MY MIND BLOWNBY ILLUSIONS.

- WOW, THESE CRUISES REALLYCATER TO THE GERIATRIC SET.

[lock clicking]

CALLIE, WHY ARE YOULOCKING THE DOORS?

- SHUT UP AND TAKE YOUR SEAT,MR. QUESTIONS.

- AND NOW, LET'S GIVEA BIG, WARM WELCOME TO...

THE AMAZING LEONARD!

- YAH!

UH-UH-UH.UNH-UNH-UNH.

[dance music playing]

- GOOD EVENING,I'M THE AMAZING LEONARD.

I'M HERE TO BLOW YOUR MINDSWITH A LITTLE MAGIC--

- I AM SO READY FOR THAT.

- AND TALK TO YOU ABOUTA WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY

THAT WILL MAKEALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS DISAPPEAR.

THE ANSWER, MY FRIENDS,IS CALLED...

GOING ZOMBIE.

- ♪ GOING ZOMBIE

- MY FREE CRUISEIS A ZOMBIE CONVERSION SCHEME?

THANKS A LOT, GUYS.

- AH, I SEE WE HAVEA FEW ZOMBIES

IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT.

WOULD ANY OF YOU--

WHOM I'VE NEVER METPRIOR TO THIS ENGAGEMENT--

BE INTERESTEDIN COMING UP ONSTAGE

AND SHARINGTHE BENEFITS OF YOUR LIFESTYLE?

[hands slapping]- UH, UH, UH, YEAH.

- BEFORE GOING ZOMBIE,I WAS RUN DOWN AND LIFELESS.

NOW, I'M NEVER TIREDAND ALWAYS UP FOR FUN.

WHEEE!

OH, NO, I LOST MY ARM.

- HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

- GOOD AS NEW.

- ALL OF THIS, PLUS ETERNAL LIFEAS A WALKING CORPSE,

FOR ONLY 16 PAYMENTSOF $99.

NOW, IF WE CAN JUSTBRING UP THE HOUSE LIGHTS,

YOU CAN START MAKING YOUR WAYTO THE CONVERSION TABLE.

AH.

MAKE ME RICH, OH STRANGE ANDMYSTERIOUS PLANT.

[bubbles popping]

[liquid hissing]

AH!MY EYES!

MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!

[shimmering tone]

MY EYES.MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!

NOW ALL I NEEDIS A FOOL AND HIS MONEY.

IT'SA UNIQUE BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.

- A GREEN PILE OF GOO?

OOH, SAY NO MORE, PARTNER.I'M ALL IN.

- DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOWWHAT IT DOES?

- NO, TAKE THIS BLANK CHECKAND GET OUT OF MY OFFICE

BEFORE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND,LEONARD.

- BUT TWAYNE.- ALL RIGHT, TWO BLANK CHECKS.

- SO THE VERY NICE GENTLEMANFROM THE NURSERY

SAYS YOU ARE GOING TO LOVETHIS PLANT FOOD.

- I'M NOT EATING THAT GARBAGE.

GET ME A HUMAN'S BRAIN TO EAT.

- COME ON, RANDALL, YOU KNOWHUMAN BRAINS ARE ILLEGAL.

- YOU DID THIS TO ME

WITH YOUR STUPID LEIIN THE HOT TUB.

- WELL, THAT MAY BE TRUE, BUT--

- BRAINS!BRAINS, BRAINS, BRAINS!

- I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

- ALL RIGHT, POWERS.GET WHAT YOU NEED.

IN AND OUT.

[key rattling]

AH, SCREW IT.YAH!

RANDALL.ARE YOU HERE?

WHOA, LOOKS LIKE MONEYREALLY DOES GROW ON TREES.

- WHERE'S MARK?

- I'LL BE TAKING CARE OF YOUTONIGHT.

UNCLE LEONARD NEEDS SOMESPECIAL LEAVES

TO MAKE HIS POTION.

- DON'T TOUCH ME THERE.YOUR HANDS ARE COLD.

- THIS WON'T HURT A BIT.

- OH, GOD, THAT HURTS!OH, GOD!

OH, MY STAMEN!LEAVE SOME OF THE STAMEN!

OH, MY GOD, THAT HURTSWORSE THAN THE LAST PART!

THE LAST PART WAS BAD,BUT THIS PART IS WORSE!

I COULDN'T FIND ANY SOLUTIONS ONTHE INTERNET,

BUT WHAT I CAN DOIS TRY TO MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE.

THINGS DON'T HAVE TO BEANY DIFFERENT.

THE BATHROOM IS NOWOUR LIVING ROOM.

THE BATHTUB IS NOW OUR COUCH.

I'M A MEXICAN JANITOR.YOU'RE A PLANT.

NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

- DUDE, I AM REALLYSTARTING TO WORRY ABOUT YOU.

- HERE'S THE REMOTE.I'M LATE FOR WORK.

GRIMES HAD DINNERAT PIEROGI-VILLE.

DON'T WAIT UP.

- DON'T FORGET MY BRAINS.

- I'M LEONARD POWERS,

HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUTA NEW, EXCITING INVENTION.

INTRODUCINGMY ORGANIC POWERS PASTE.

GENTLEMEN, TIRED OF BEING THATCREEPY OLD BALD GUY AT THE CLUB?

WELL, MY PASTE WILL MAKE YOULOOK YOUNG ENOUGH

TO DATE A HIGH SCHOOLER.

all: MM, MM, MM.

- YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME.BING!

- HI, MOM.

- LADIES, WISH YOU COULD PUTYOUR BIOLOGICAL CLOCK ON SNOOZE?

- WHA?- FOREVER?

- OH-HO, OH, YEAH.

- WHO'S READY TO GET PREGNANT!

THAT'S RIGHT,

THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTHCAN BE YOURS.

[splatting]

[upbeat dance music]

[button clicks]

THEY WON'T HAVE LEONARD POWERSTO KICK AROUND ANYMORE.

- OH, YEAH, OH--

- OOH, YOU CAN STOP DANCING NOW,BLANCHE.

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