October 1, 2015 - Russia in Syria & Trump University Scandal

  • 10/01/2015

Donald Trump faces fraud allegations from students of Trump University, and Larry discusses Russia's bombing campaign in Syria with Eddie Huang, Lisa Ling and Jordan Carlos.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

WELCOME TO THE NIGHTLY SHOW!

I'M LARRY WILMORE.

>> LARRY, LARRY, LAR'S!

>> Larry: I APPRECIATE IT.

SUCH A GOOD CROWD HERETONIGHT.

MAN!

SUCH AN AMAZING CROWD.

YOU KNOW IT'S A GOOD CROWDWHEN YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO

ANY HURRICANE JOKES AND THEYDON'T CARE.

THEY JUST DON'T CARE.

(LAUGHTER)THAT'S THE KIND OF CROWD WE

HAVE, THAT'S THE KIND OFCROWD THAT IS TONIGHT.

BUT SO YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> ARE YOU GOING TO DO ANYHURRICANE JOKES?

SHE WAS SO NICE, SO NICE, SONICE.

I UNDERSTAND, I UNDERSTAND.

ACTUALLY, BEFORE WE BEGIN,ON A SERIOUS NOTE, SOME OF

YOU MAY NOT KNOW HERE IN THESTUDIO AUDIENCE, THERE WAS A

TERRIBLE SHOOTING AT ACOMMUNITY COLLEGE IN OREGON.

AND I JUST WANT TO SAY OURTHOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE

WITH EVERYBODY THERE.

AND IT'S ALWAYS TOUGH TO DOCOMEDY IN THESE TYPES OF

DAYS, BUT HOPEFULLY, YOUKNOW, WE CAN STILL BE OF

SOME COMFORT TO THE PEOPLEOUT HERE.

SO THAT'S OUR JOB TO DO SOMECOMEDY, SO LET'S TRY TO

CHEER AMERICA UP.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

ALL RIGHT.

SO LET'S START OUR LITTLECOMEDY SHOW HERE.

TROUBLE ERUPTED YESTERDAYIN A NORMALLY TRANQUIL

LITTLE HAMLET CALLED THEMIDDLE EAST.

>> RUSSIA HAS LUNCHED ITSFIRST AIR STRIKE ON

EXTREMIST TARGETS IN SYRIA,INCLUDING MILITARY

EQUIPMENT.

>> Larry: WAIT A SECOND.

ARE WE ABOUT TO BE IN A WARWITH RUSSIA?

YOU KNOW, THAT'S WEIRD.

BECAUSE, OH MY GOD THERE ISA TOM HANKS MOVIE COMING OUT

ABOUT THE UNITED STATES.

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS,ON THE VERGE OF WAR WITH

RUSSIA.

OH, OH, OH, AND LAST WEEK,THIS IS WEIRD, A MOVIE

CALLED THE MARTIAN CAME OUTAND THEN THEY FOUND OUT

THERE WAS WATER ON MARS.

RIGHT?

AND ABOUT A MONTH AGO, I'MNOT MAKING THIS UP, STRAIGHT

OUT OF COMPTON CAME OUT,RIGHT?

AND NOW A BLACK GUY ISHOSTING THE DAILY SHOW.

WHAT!

RIGHT?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

YES!

YES!

THIS [BLEEP] IS GETTINGWEIRD, IS WHAT I'M SAYING.

AND IF THIS THEORY HOLDS UP,AND THERE'S NO REASON WHY IT

SHOULDN'T, MOVIE TRAILERSCOULD PREDICT OUR FUTURE.

OH MY GOD!

SHOW US WHAT'S NEXT.

>> TO NEVERLAND!

WE ARE [BLEEP] TOAST!

TRUE.

STARTING A LITTLE CHEWBACCATHERE NOW JUST BECAUSE

RUSSIA IS DROPPING BOMBS ONSYRIA DOESN'T MEAN IT'S ALL

BAD.

I MEAN THERE ARE LOTS OFAWFUL PEOPLE IN SYRIA WE

WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIT, FORINSTANCE, ISIS, RIGHT,

SYRIAN PRESIDENT ASSAD, WHOTHE U.S. DESPERATELY WANTS

IMREMOVED.

I WANT TO SEE ASSAD OUT OFTHE PICTURE FOR TWO REASON,

HE IS A MAD MAN WHOMASSACRES HIS OWN PEOPLE AND

TWO I CAN FINALLY ASK OUTHIS WIFE WITHOUT SEEMING

CREEPY.

MRS. ASSAD -- YOU YOU CANFIND ASYLUM IN MY HEART.

STILL CREEPY, SORRY.

GOT A LITTLE PERSONAL THERE.

BUT IT TURNS OUT THERUSSIANS WEREN'T DOING US A

FAVOR.

>> ALL INDICATIONS IN THEU.S. VIEW THAT THE RUSSIAN

AIR STRIKES WERE AN EFFORT TOPROP UP ASSAD, NOT TO FIGHT

ISIS.

>> THE REAL TARGET APPEARSTO BE OPPONENTS OF SYRIAN

PRESIDENT ASSAD, RUSSIA'SALLY, A DIRECT CHALLENGE TO

THE U.S. WHICH WANTS ASSADOUT.

>> Larry: OKAY.

LET ME BREAK THAT DOWN FORYOU.

AAAHHH!

YUP, PUTIN IS STIRRING UPTROUBLE, BOMBING THE VERY

PEOPLE WE'RE SUPPORTING.

WE ALL THOUGHT THE COLD WARWAS OVER BUT NOW RUSSIA HAS

ONCE AGAIN BECOME OURBIGGEST PROBLEM.

MAN.

OBAMA DID NOT SEE THATCOMING.

IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT, HEWAS SO BLIND TO THIS THREAT,

HE ACTUALLY MOCKED MITTROMNEY IN 2012 FOR

SUGGESTING THAT RUSSIA MIGHTBE A THREAT.

>> A FEW MONTHS AGO WHEN YOUWERE ASKED WHAT THE BIGGEST

GEO POLITICAL THREAT FACINGAMERICA, YOU SAID RUSSIA.

NOT AL QAEDA, YOU SAIDRUSSIA.

THE 1980s ARE NOW, CALLINGTO ASK FOR THEIR FOREIGN

POLICY BACK

>> Larry: THE 1980s CALLED,A BIT OF NEARSIGHTED

SNOBBERY THERE,MR. PRESIDENT, MR. PRESIDENT

THE 2030s CALLED ANDEVERYBODY IS SPEAKING

RUSSIAN.

JUST SAYIN.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY AND FIXTHIS.

YOU KNOW, I GOT TO GIVE MITTROMNEY CREDIT.

HE CALLED IT RIGHT ON RUSSIA,BUT OF COURSE THIS WEEK'S

POLYGAMIST SECT LEADERWARREN JEFF WAS ACCUSED OF

ABUSING TWO OF HIS KID, ALLIN ALL KIND OF AN UP AND

DOWN WEEK FOR THE MORMONS.

SO WHAT DO WE DO ABOUTRUSSIA.

THE WHITE HOUSE HAS REACTEDBY WISHFULLY THINKING MAYBE

PUTIN REALLY WAS AIMING ATISIS.

>> TOO EARLY FOR ME TO SAYEXACTLY WHAT TARGETS THEY

WERE AIMING AT AND WHATTARGETS WERE

EVENTUALLY HIT.

>> Larry: I HAVEN'T SEEN ASTATEMENT THIS LAME SINCE

WHATEVER MATT DAMON SAIDFIVE MINUTES AGO.

(APPLAUSE)>> Larry: JUST SAYING.

JUST SAYING.

I'M JUST KEEPING A HUNDREDRIGHT NOW.

LOOK, THE BOTTOM LINE ISPUTIN IS LOOKING FOR

TROUBLE.

AND HE DOESN'T GIVE A[BLEEP] WHAT ANYBODY IS

SAYING.

LOOK AT THE DIPLOMATICHEADS UP HE GAVE OBAMA ON

THIS BOMBING MISSION.

>> THE U.S. GOT JUST ANHOUR'S NOTICE TODAY WITH A

RUSSIAN OFFICIAL BIZARRELYKNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF THE

U.S. EMBASSY IN BAGHDAD WITHTHE NEWS.

>> THIS PREVENTS AMERICANINTERFERENCE AND IT ALSO

EMASCULATES AMERICANINFLUENCE THERE.

>> Larry: AN HOUR?

YOU GAVE HIM AN HOUR TO GETREADY?

THAT'S EVEN BOOTY CALLDISRESPECT, RIGHT?

COME ON, OBAMA.

YOU CAN'T LET HIM DO THIS TOYOU!

I MEAN I GET IT, IT'SCOMPLICATED.

NOBODY WANTS TO FIGHT ONSYRIA BUT WE CAN'T JUST LET

RUSSIA DO WHAT THEY WANT, IUNDERSTAND.

FOR MORE INSIGHT ONINTERNATIONAL RELATIONS WITH

RUSSIA PLEASE WELCOMEDIPLOMACY EXPERT REGINA

STALWART.

WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

IT IS A VERY COMPLICATEDSITUATION, I WANT TO KNOW,

HOW SHOULD OBAMA HANDLEPUTIN?

>> WELL, LARRY, THERE'S ONLYONE WAY TO HANDLE AN EX-KGB

GUY LIKE PUTIN.

THE PRESIDENT HAS TO PUT HISDICK ON THE TABLE.

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: UM, I'M SORRY,

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

>> EVERY PRESIDENT MUST BEPREPARED TO LAY HIS DICK

DOWN ON THE TABLE TO STANDUP FOR WHAT'S RIGHT.

NOW-- .

>> Larry: HIS DICK ON THETABLE?

>> YEAH, YEAH, SERIOUSLY.

EVEN IN WORLD WAR II,ROOSEVELT PUT HIS DICK ON

THE TABLE.

AND BELIEVE ME THAT WAS NOEASY FEAT.

>> Larry: OH, WOW MUCH I'MSURE-- I'M SURE IT

WASN'T-- OBJECT, WHEN YOUSAY DICK ON THE TABLE, YOU

DO YOU ACTUALLY MEAN -->> IT'S A METAPHOR, LARRY,

LIKE WHEN OBAMA ORDERED THERAID THAT KILLED BIN LADEN.

>> Larry: UH-HUH.

>> HE DIDN'T ASK FORPAKISTAN'S PERMISSION, HE

WAS TOO BUSY PUTTING HISDICK ON THE TABLE.

>> Larry: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

I GET-- I GUESS THATMETAPHOR WORKS.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT SO, LET ME ASK YOUTHIS: SO WHEN PUTIN CAME

LATE TO THE LUNCH MEETINGTHEY HAD, SHOULD OBAMA HAVE

PUT HIS DICK ON THE TABLE?

>> AT LUNCH?

(LAUGHTER)COME ON, LARRY, THAT'S

DISGUSTING.

>> Larry: SORRY.

I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKINGMETAPHORICALLY

>> WE ARE.

BUT IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN AREYOU FACE-TO-FACE,.

IT'S A DIPLOMATIC NO, NO TOGO FULL D ON THE T RIGHT AWAY

JUST SHOW A LITTLE TIP.

YEAH.

THAT WILL RUIN HIS CRUDITE.

>> Larry: OKAY, LOOK.

ALL THIS STUFF JUST SEEMSLIKE SILLY DIPLOMATIC PLAY.

ISN'T THERE ANYWAY WE CANJUST STOP OUR OBSESSION WITH

WAR.

>> YEAH, IT'S EASY.

STOP LETTING THE WORLD BERUN BY DICKS.

>> YEAH.

-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> YEAH.

>> GET RID OF THE D, GET ALITTLE V IN THERE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YOU CAN'T SPELL VICTORY

WITHOUT V.

>> Larry: SHOULD THE V EVERBE ON THE TABLE?

(LAUGHTER)>> THAT'S DISGUSTING.

>> Larry: SORRY.

JUST A METAPHOR.

ALL RIGHT.

REGINA STALWART, EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

>> Larry: I HAVE TO SAY,DONE ALL TRUMP HAS HAD A

TOUGH WEEK.

WHAT WITH HIS RE-- RELEASINGHIS CRAZY TAX PLAN, BEING

CALLED OUT ON HIS CRAZY TAXPLAN, BEING DEVOURED WHOLE

BY BEN CARSON.

OH, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY,I'M BEING TOLD THAT HASN'T

HAPPENED.

YET.

AND TRUMP'S WEEK IS ONLYGETTING WORSE.

>> DONALD TRUMP HAS BECOMETHE REPUBLICAN FRONT-RUNNER

IN PART BECAUSE OF HISREPUTATION AS A TOP

BUSINESSMAN WHO GETS THINGSDONE.

BUT THAT'S ALSO BROUGHTUNRESOLVED LAWSUITS, SEVERAL

RELATED TO TRUMP UNIVERSITY.

>> Larry: THAT'S RIGHT.

TRUMP HAD A UNIVERSITY.

(LAUGHTER)AND SURPRISINGLY HE CALLED

IT TRUMP UNIVERSITY.

I DID NOT SEE THAT ONECOMING!

JUST LIKE I'M SURE TRUMPDIDN'T SEE TWO YEARS OF

ONGOING LAWSUITS COMING.

NOW TRUMP UNIVERSITY, ITONLY RAN FROM LIKE 2005 TO

2010 BUT REMEMBER THE MASCOT,EVERYBODY LOVES SLICEY

, THAT STABBINGMEXICAN IMMIGRANT.

OH, YEAH, HE WAS SO CUTE, SOCUTE.

ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT WAS THEDEAL WITH IT, WHY DID IT

FAIL.

>> TRUMP UNIVERSITY TOOK INAN ESTIMATED $40 MILLION.

>> IT WAS A CLASSICBAIT-AND-SWITCH SCHEME T WAS

A SCAM STARTING WITH THEFACT THAT IT WAS NOT A

UNIVERSITY.

>> Larry: WAIT, IT WASCALLED A UNIVERSITY AND IT

WASN'T A UNIVERSITY?

MAYBE IT WAS IRONIC.

YOU KNOW LIKE HOWDR. HUXTABLE ISN'T REALLY A

DOCTOR, HE'S A MONSTER.

THE 54th ACCUSER CAME OUTTHIS WEEK.

I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUTYOU MOTHER [BLEEP]!

THANK YOU.

NOW TRUMP'S LAWYER ARGUESTHAT IT IS UNBELIEVABLE FOR

ANYONE TO HAVE THOUGHT THATTRUMP UNIVERSITY WAS A

UNIVERSITY IN THETRADITIONAL SENSE.

CLASSES WERE HELD IN HOTELBALLROOMS, AFTER ALL.

OH, OKAY.

SO BASICALLY TRUMP'S LAWYERIS MOCKING US FOR BELIEVING

TRUMP.

ALL RIGHT, JOINING ME TOTALK MORE ABOUT THIS IS

EX-TRUMP UNIVERSITY STUDENTMILES FLEISCHHACKER

MILES, WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

SO MILES, WHAT WAS IT LIKEATTENDING TU.

>> LARRY, IT WAS JUST LIKE,YOU KNOW, GOING TO ANY OTHER

COLLEGE, EXCEPT THEY WERE,NO CLASSES, NO PARTIES, NO

BUILDINGS, NO PROFESSORS, NOCAMPUS.

>> Larry: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

SO HOW WAS THAT JUST LIKEANY OTHER COLLEGE?

>> OH, I'M LIKE 50 GRAND INDEBT, SO YOU KNOW, COLLEGE!

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

BUT, I GOT TO SAY, I GOT AGREAT EDUCATION, CHECK IT

OUT, I GOT A DIPLOMA ANDEVERYTHING, LOOK, I WIN!

I WIN!

>> Larry: I DON'T THINK THATIS A REAL DIPLOMA.

YOU SAY GREAT EDUCATION, HOWIS THAT POSSIBLE.

>> COME ON, LARRY, I WENT TOSCHOOL, I LEARNED NOTHING, I

WOUND UP BROKE, I HAD TODECLARE BANKRUPTCY, THAT IS

A PROPER EDUCATION TOBECOMING AMERICAN.

I MEANS THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

THIS IS IT.

>> Larry: THAT SOUNDS AWFUL.

>> ONLY IF YOU DON'TUNDERSTAND BUSINESS TRUMP

STYLE, LARRY.

OKAY.

AND BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING ILEARNED AT TU, I'VE BEEN ABLE

TO START MY OWN UNIVERSITYOF ENGINEERING AND DESIGN.

AND HERE'S THE TWIST.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUTEITHER OF THOSE THINGS!

AT ALL!

I MEAN, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT,WHO GIVES A [BLEEP], RIGHT?

THAT'S ACTUALLY THE MOTTO ONTHE TRUMP UNIVERSITY CREST.

>> Larry: OKAY.

YOU STARTING YOUR OWNUNIVERSITY WOULDN'T WORK.

>> NO, NO, MY GRADUATESWON'T WORK, OKAY.

IT'S ALL SQUARE.

LISTEN, I AM LITERALLY NOTTEACHING THEM ANY MARKETABLE

SKILLS AT ALL.

IT IS AMAZING.

>> Larry: WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT.

>> WHAT I AM TEACHING THEMIS HOW TO LINK THEIR

CHECKING ACCOUNTS TO DIRECTDEPOSIT TO MY S-CORP.

LOCATED IN SWITZERLAND T ISSIMPLE TRUMPONOMICS.

>> Larry: THIS DOES NOT SEEMLEGAL.

ARE YOU STANDING ON CAMPUS.

>> NO, I'M IN FRONT OF AFAKE BACKGROUND.

SEE HOW THE TREES AREN'TMOVING.

BUT LOOK, PEOPLE DUMB ENOUGHTO ENROLL IN MY UNIVERSITY,

THEY DON'T NOTICE THEDETAILS, YOU KNOW WHAT I

MEAN?

LOOK, IT'S A LOT LIKETRUMP'S CANDIDACY.

THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOSUBSTANCE HERE.

>> Larry: ALL RIGHT, MILESFLEISCHHACKER, EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

I'M HERE WITH MY PANELNIGHTLY SHOW CONTRIBUTOR

JORDAN CARLOS.

(APPLAUSE)>> Larry: THE FOOD AND

TRAVEL SHOW HUANG'S WORLD,AND FRESH OFF THE BOAT CHEF

EDDIE HUANG.

AND HER DOCUMENTARY SERIESTHIS IS LIFE WITH LISA LING

AIRS WEDNESDAY AT 9:00 P.M.

ON CNN, JOURNALIST LISA LING.

NOW REMEMBER FOR EVERYONE ATHOME JOINING OUR

CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW ONTWITTER@NIGHTLY SHOW USING

THE HASHTAG TONIGHTLY.

SO AS WE SAW EARLIER IN THESHOW RUSSIA HAS EFFECTIVELY

THROWN THEIR KIELBASA ON THETABLE.

SO HERE-- SO PUTIN, IS HETESTING US?

OR IS HE JUST POSITIONINGTHE BIG BAD RUSSIA BACK ON

THE STAGE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'S DOINGHERE?

>> I FEEL LIKE PUTIN IS JUSTLIKE THE MAD RAPPER-- RAP

ARE.

HE IS LOOKING AT AMERICA.

YOU GOT-- I'M MORE [BLEEP]BUT THEN YOU LOOK AT RUSSIA.

AND YOU'RE LIKE THIS ISPROBABLY THE MOST DEPRESSING

PLACE IN THE WORLD I'VE EVERBEEN.

>> Larry: YOU'VE BEEN THERE.

>> I HAVE BEEN TO RUSSIA.

I HAVE ALSO BEEN TO SCRANTON,PENNSYLVANIA, RUSSIA IS

WORSE.

>> Larry: WELL, I'M NOT SUREHOW THE PEOPLE OF SCRANTON

FEEL ABOUT THAT.

>> I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHYPEOPLE ARE-- ARE SAYING THAT

RUSSIA IS TRYING TO EXERTITSELF IN THAT WAY.

I MEAN RUSSIA DOES FACE AREAL THREAT OF EXTREMISM IN

ITS COUNTRY.

>> Larry: ABSOLUTELY.

>> OUTSIDE OF 9/11, WEREALLY HAVEN'T HAD MAJOR

TERRORIST ATTACKS HERE INTHE U.S., BUT THEY HAVE.

THEY'VE BEEN DEALING WITHCHECHEN REBELS FOR A LONG

TIME.

AND ACCORDING THATCONGRESSIONAL REPORT THAT

JUST CAME OUT, THEY'RE25,000 FOREIGN FIGHTERS THAT

HAVE DESCENDED UPON SYRIA.

AND ABOUT 200, 250 ARE FROMAMERICA, BUT 2,000 ARE FROM

RUSSIA AM SO THEY HAVE AREAL INTEREST IN TRYING TO

COMBAT ISIS IN SYRIA.

>> Larry: HOW MUCH DO YOUTHINK THOUGH THAT IT IS-- IT

FEELS LIKE A LOT OF THISALSO IS PUTIN FLEXING HIS

MUSCLES, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN SOME OF IT IS THAT.

BUT ALSO A LOT OF HISACTIONS, EVEN JUST THE WAY

HE EVEN TREATS THE PRESIDENT,ACTS AROUND OBAMA.

I.

>> I FEEL HE IS LIKE A LADYON INSTAGRAM TRYING TO GET

OBAMA'S ATTENTION.

LIKE, YOU KNOW, PUTTINGEGGPLANTS ON ALL HIS NOT

OWES AND THINGS LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S MORESUBTLE WAYS TO DO IT BUT

THIS IS ALL HE KNOWS.

YOU KNOW.

AND HE DEFINITELY HAS OURATTENTION NOW.

I THINK IT'S A THREATDEFINITELY TO OUR DIVA

STATUS.

>> Larry: YEAH.

>> IN THE WORLD.

BECAUSE WHEN THEY DID THEBOMBING, WE WERE LIKE OH NO

YOU DIDN'T! IF ANYBODY ISGOING TO BOMB SYRIA, IT'S

GOING TO BE US.

>> Larry: I KNOW.

>> YOU KNOW, LIKE, THAT'SBASICALLY WHAT IT WAS.

>> Larry: THE THING IS HE'SNOT ALL WRONG.

HE WAS TALKING TO CHARLIEROSE, I THINK, AND HE

MENTIONED HOW WHEN WEINVADED IRAQ WE DESTABILIZED

THAT REGION, THAT IS CORRECT.

>> EXACTLY.

>> WE LOVE DESTABLING[BLEEP], WE LOVE THAT.

>> LOOK WHAT HAS HAPPENED INLIBYA, AND BUT I KIND OF

THINK WE'RE A LITTLE TOOSENSITIVE.

YOU KNOW, PUTIN ISNOT-- HE'S NOT A WARM FUZZY

GUY.

SO JUST BECAUSE-- .

>> Larry: IS HE OUR FRIENDOR OUR FRIENEMY.

>> I THINK THAT-- I THINKTHAT WE SHOULD HAVE A BIG,

LIKE, EDM FESTIVALAND EVERYBODY DO SOME MOLLIE

AND-- .

>> Larry: THAT SAY REALLYGOOD IDEA, THAT SAY REALLY

GOOD IDEA, I LIKE THAT.

>> HAVE A PARTY.

>> YOU'RE SAYING SKRILLEX ASAMBASSADOR TO RUSSIA.

>> IT SEEMS TO ME, I KNOWAMERICA NOW IS EXHAUSTED BY

WAR.

I THINK THIS CONFLICT, WEHAVE BEEN IN IT TEN YEARS,

THIS TO ME IS AT LEAST100 YEARS BEFORE ANYTHING GETS

RESOLVED WITH THE WAY IRAQWAS DISMANTLED AND NOW SYRIA

GOING THAT WAY.

>> YEAH.

>> Larry: I MEAN, WHAT -->> ISN'T THERE A SOLUTION IN

THIS REGION DO YOU THINK?

>> MY SOLUTION, I REALLYLOOK AT THIS WAY, I REALLY

FEEL LIKE GLOBAL MOBILITY ISA RIGHT THE PEOPLE SHOULD

HAVE.

INSTEAD OF LIKE, THERE'S APROBLEM WITH ASSAD, HE'S

LIKE A TERRIBLE DICTATOR.

WE DON'T LIKE ASSAD.

THE PEOPLE ARE VICTIMS OFCRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY.

BUT INSTEAD OF GOING TO BOMBAND STARTING A WAR AND THEN

LIKE BEING THE WORLD'S WORSTBOYS AND GIRLS CLUB, GIVING

THEM WEAPONS AND TRAININGTHEM AN HAVING TO FIGHT THEM

IN FIVE YEARS.

>> EXACTLY, SO TRUE.

>> WE SHOULD JUST INVITESYRIANS TO CLEARWATER,

FLORIDA, GO ON THE TRAIN,THEY HAVE THOSE ADS, VISIT

CLEAR WATER.

GIVE SYRIA CLEAR WATER.

>> IT'S SO TRUE.

>> AFGHANISTAN IS THEPERFECT EXAMPLE.

WE ARMED THE MUJAHIDEEN, YOUKNOW, AN ONCE THE SOVIET,

ONCE THE AFGHANS DEFEATEDTHE SOVIETS, THEY TURNED

THEIR WEAPONS ON EACH OTHERAND AT SOME POINT TURN THEIR

WEAPONS ON US.

SO WE HAVE TO THINK ABOUTTHE CONSEQUENCES OF ARMING,

YOU KNOW, THESE GROUPS THATMAY BECOME PROBLEMS LATER ON

FOR US.

>> WE'RE THE WORST MENTORINS WORLD.

>> Larry: SHOULD WE NOT BETHE WORLD'S POLICE.

WE'RE KIND OF THE REALSUPERPOWER.

>> OUR POLICE HERE SUCK.

WE SHOULD NOT-- (LAUGHTER)

>> WE SHOULDN'T BESUPPORTING EXPORTING THAT TO

OTHER PLACES, COPS HERE LOVETO SHOOT BROWN AND BLACK

PEOPLE.

THERE'S TONS OF BROWN PEOPLETHERE.

>> Larry: THAT'S TRUE.

>> OKAY, I'VE LOST THEAUDIENCE.

>> THERE IS NO EASY ANSWER.

FIRST OF ALL, WHEN WE DO OURBOMBING OF ISIS IN SYRIA, WE

HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT THETARGETS THAT WE HIT ALSO DO

NOT BENEFIT, LIKE TAKINGTHEM OUT WOULD BENEFIT

ASSAD.

THAT'S SO HARD TO DO.

IT'S LIKE -->> I WOULD BOMB YOU BUT NO,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

>> THAT IS WHY THERE COULDBE AN OPPORTUNITY TO, I

DON'T WANT TO SAY ALLY WITHRUSSIA, BUT AT LEAST COME TO

THE TABLE.

I MEAN WHAT ABOUT TRYINGDIPLOMACY AND TRYING TO ALLY

WITH, YOU KNOW, SOME OF THECOUNTRIES THAT WE MAY HAVE

HAD AN ADVERSARIALRELATIONSHIP IN THE PAST,

IRAN, RUSSIA, TO FIGHT THISCOMMON THREAT.

I MEAN THIS IS -->> ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

TALKING, TALKING OUT OURPROBLEMS.

>> IT'S COMPLETELY-- A CRAZYIDEA.

>> IT FEELS LIKE THAT HASBEEN OBAMA'S TYPE OF PLAN, I

GUESS YOU COULD SAY.

I'M NOT SURE IF THERE HASBEEN A FOREIGN POLICY PLAN.

BUT HE'S ONLY GOTTEN SLAMMEDFOR IT.

>> YES.

>> EVERY TIME HE'S TRIEDDIPLOMACY, HE'S GOTTEN

HORRIBLY CRITICIZED.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A NEWPRESIDENT IN WHAT, A YEAR.

I THINK DIPLOMACY HAS GONE.

>> I THINK WE HAVE TO TRYCLEAR WATER.

>> I MEAN, I'M VERY SCAREDTHAT THAT MIGHT HAPPEN.

ESPECIALLY IF YOUR BUDDYTRUMP GETS IN OFFICE.

>> MY BUDDY, YEAH, MY-- HE'SMY BF.

>> YOUR BUDDY.

>> BUT I FEEL LIKE RIGHT NOW,WHAT OBAMA IS DEALING WITH,

AND HE HAS TO, YOU KNOW,RESPOND TO THIS, IS LIKE IF

I WERE OBAMA, LIKE 2016, IFEEL LIKE HE'S GOT SENOR

IDENTITY IS A LITTLE BIT.

HE JUST WANTS-- WHAT WOULDYOU DO IF YOU WERE HIM.

>> Larry: WHAT SHOULD OOBAMA DO.

>> PERSONALLY IF I WAS OBAMA,I WOULD BE LIKE THIS IS WHAT

I AM GOING TO DO.

I -- WE HAVE-- WE HAVE MADEA COMMITMENT TO OUR FRIENDS.

UH, UH, UH.

>> Larry: AND THEN YOUJUST --.

>> AND THEN THEN IT'S ALLOVER WITHIN THE WHOLE

CONFLICT IS GONE.

>> WE NEED OBAMA TO TALKMORE ABOUT THIS SITUATION SO

EVERYTHING CAN GO AWAY.

>> HE HAS TO DO THESLOW-BAMA TACTIC.

>> Larry: SLOW-BAMA, THAT ISTHE ONLY WAY TO GO.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL BE RIGHTBACK AFTER THIS.

>> COME SEE THE SHOW, GO TOTHE NIGHTLY SHOW.COM FOR

TICKETS.