>> Stephen: TONIGHT, NEWADVANCEMENTS IN DRONES.

I HEAR THEY'VE GOT ONES NOW THATCAN CARRY A PILOT.

THEN, A REPUBLICAN VICTORY INCOLORADO.

TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BUBBLY,WHICH IS WHAT THEY NAMED THEIR

SKULL BONG.

MY GUEST MacARTHUR GENIUSFELLOW TERENCE TAO SAYS HE

LEARNED TO LOVE MATH FROM"SESAME STREET."

THAT'S WHERE I LEARNED TO LOVECOOKIES AND HIDING IN TRASH

CANS.

KOBE BRYANT HAS SET THE N.B.A.'SALL-TIME RECORD FOR MISSED

SHOTS, BUT REMEMBER, KOBE, YOUALWAYS MAKE 100% OF THE SHOTS

YOU DON'T MISS.

THIS IS THE "COLBERT REPORT."

>> Stephen: HEY!

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN!")

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

FOLKS, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE ON THISCRISP FALL NIGHT

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HOPETHAT I'VE MADE

THIS CLEAR OVER THE YEARS, BUT ILOVE NEW YORK CITY.

BECAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHINGIN NEW YORK IS BIGGER.

WE'VE GOT THE TALLEST BUILDINGS,THE RICHEST BANKERS, THE

RACIST-EST CABBIES.

IN NO OTHER CITY DO THE DRIVERSEVEN KNOW THE PROPER ETHNIC SLUR

FOR PEOPLE FROM MALTA.

( LAUGHTER )IT'S FEATHERHEAD, BY THE WAY.

BUT THERE'S ONE THING ABOUT NEWYORK THAT IS NOT AS BIG AS WE

THOUGHT.

>> IT APPEARS THAT A PARTICULARDEMOGRAPHIC IN NEW YORK HAS BEEN

EXPONENTIALLY OVERESTIMATED--THE RAT POPULATION.

COMMON LORE STATES THERE ARE ASMANY RATS AS HUMANS IN NEW YORK

CITY, IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OFEIGHT MILLION.

HOWEVER A STATISTICIAN FROMCOLUMBIA UNIVERSITY SAYS THERE

ARE REALLY JUST TWO MILLION RATSIN THE BIG APPLE.

>> Stephen: NEW YORK HAS ONLYTWO MILLION RATS?

I MEAN, THAT'S LIKE FINDING OUTNEW YORK ONLY HAS TWO MILLION

ORIGINAL RAY'S PIZZAS.

( LAUGHTER )SOME COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY

BRAINIAC ARRIVED AT THISESTIMATE BY EXTRAPOLATING THE

NUMBER OF RAT-OCCUPIED LOTS INTHE CITY USING COMPLAINTS FROM

THE PUBLIC ABOUT RAT SIGHTINGS.

APPARENTLY, SOME NEW YORKERS ARESTILL UNJADED ENOUGH TO ALERT

SOMEONE WHEN THEY SEE A RAT.

( LAUGHTER )I BET IT'S THE DAMN

FEATHERHEADS.

( LAUGHTER )FOLKS, I THINK I SPEAK FOR ALL

NEW YORKERS WHEN I SAY, "STEP ITUP, RATS."

TWO MILLION?

THOSE ARE CHICAGO NUMBERS.

COME ON!

THIS IS NEW YORK CITY.

WE HAVE A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD.

THIS IS THE CITY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )YOU HEAR THAT?

WE ARE THE CITY THAT NEVERSLEEPS BECAUSE WE'RE AFRAID THAT

IF WE NOD OFF, A RAT WILL BIRTHITS YOUNG IN OUR OPEN MOUTHS.

WHERE DID YOU RATS GO, NEWJERSEY?

WHY?

BECAUSE IT'S CHEAPER AND YOUHAVE A NICE YARD WITH PLENTY OF

SPACE TO EAT YOUR YOUNG?

( LAUGHTER )YOU GOTTA STAY IN THE CITY.

THAT'S WHERE THE ACTION IS.

THAT'S WHERE THE CULTURE IS.

YOU CAN INFEST THE MOMA.

YOU CAN INFEST THE MET.

THERE ARE WAY BETTER RESTAURANTICE MACHINES FOR YOU TO POOP IN.

SO GET IT TOGETHER, RATS, OR-- ICAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS--

WE MAY STOP LEAVING MOUNTAINS OFLOOSELY BAGGED GARBAGE ON THE

SIDEWALK FOR YOU TO FEAST ON.

( LAUGHTER )NATION,YOU KNOW I LOVE DRONES.

THEY SENT A CLEAR MESSAGE TO OURENEMIES THAT WE WILL HUNT THEM

TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH, ASLONG AS WE DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE

TAMPA.

( LAUGHTER )AND THESE DAYS, LIKE A CONVOY OF

S.U.V.s IN YEMEN, DRONES AREBLOWING UP.

SO IT'S TIME FOR MY LONG-RUNNINGDRONE APPRECIATION SEGMENT--

"STEPHEN COLBERT'S AUTO-ROBOTICFIXATION."

PEOPLE LOVE THIS SEGMENT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

PEOPLE HAVE LOVED THIS SEGMENTFOR YEARS.

FOLKS, FIRST UP, DRONES GET ABAD RAP AS CREEPY SURVEILLANCE

TOOLS THAT MONITOR OUR EVERMOVE.

GOOD NEWS-- NOW THEY'RE WATCHINGUS HAVE SEX.

IT'S ALL PART OF A NEW VIRALVIDEO CALLED "DRONE BONING."

JIM?

>> THERE'S THE SWEEPING DRONESHOT OF THE BEAUTIFUL VINEYARD,

AND THERE'S THE BONING!

AND HERE'S AN AERIAL SHOT OF ANABANDONED SEASIDE FORT, AND

BONING RIGHT UP THERE.

>> Stephen: WELL, FOLKS, ASTHE OLD SAYING GOES, I DON'T

KNOW MUCH ABOUT ART BUT I KNOWTHIS HAS PEOPLE HAVING SEX IN

IT.

AS ONE OF THE FILM'S DIRECTORSSO POETICALLY PUT IT, WOULDN'T

IT BE FUNNY TO HAVE THESESIMPLISTIC BEAUTIFUL LANDSCAPES

AND HAVE PEOPLE ( BLEEP ) INTHEM?

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

FUNNY AND PROFOUND.

BECAUSE SIMPLISTIC BEAUTIFULLANDSCAPES WITH PEOPLE ( BLEEP )

IN THEM WAS GOD'S ORIGINALCONCEPT FOR EARTH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

THE FILM'S DIRECTORS-- I AGREE.

I AGREE.

THE FILM'S DIRECTORS ARE ALREADYTALKING ABOUT A SEQUEL, I HOPE

ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF BONEDRONING -- "AERIAL VENEREAL."

( LAUGHTER )FOLKS, I HAVE ONLY ONE ISSUE

WITH THIS OSCAR-WORTHY PIECE OFBIRD'S-EYE PORN-- SOMEONE HAD TO

STEER THE DRONE OVER ALL THOSENAKED PEOPLE.

WOULDN'T IT BE COOLER IF DRONESCOULD FIND YOU HAVING SEX ON

THEIR OWN?

WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK BECAUSEDARPA-FUNDED RESEARCHERS HAVE

TESTED A DRONE THAT CAN LEARNAND ACT ON ITS OWN.

THE DRONE PROVED IT COULD LEARNBY FLYING INTO A SERIES OF

UNFAMILIAR ROOMS IN WHICHSENSOR DATA FROM THE WALLS,

FURNITURE AND OTHER OBJECTSTRIGGERED IT TO REPORT IT WAS

IN A NEW SPACE AND CAUSED THEWAYS ITS NEURONS CONNECTED TO

ONE ANOTHER TO CHANGE IN A CRUDEMIMIC OF LEARNING IN A REAL

BRAIN. AND THE NEXT TIME THECRAFT ENTERED SAME ROOM,

IT RECOGNIZED IT.

FOLKS, THIS WOULD BE AFOOL-PROOF PLAN TO GET THE

TERRORISTS, AS LONG AS THEYNEVER REDECORATE.

( LAUGHTER )DARPA, DARPA FUNDED THE RESEARCH

SO DRONES COULD MAKE SENSE OFVIDEO AND SENSOR DATA FOR

THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF ALWAYSHAVING TO BEAM IT DOWN TO

EARTH FOR ANALYSIS BY COMPUTERSOR HUMANS.

OH, WELL THAT'S GREAT.

THEN WE'RE OFF THE HOOK.

NOW IF WE ACCIDENTALLY BOMB AWEDDING, YOU CAN'T BLAME US.

IT WAS OUR SELF-AWARE FLYINGRUMBA'S DECISION.

FOLKS, AS MUCH AS THERE ISABSOLUTELY NO DOWN SIDE TO

ARMING MACHINES, RELEASING THEMINTO THE SKIES, AND LETTING THEM

DO WHAT THEY WANT, ONE THINGABOUT THIS GIVES ME PAUSE.

>> TESLA C.E.O. ELON MUSKSOUNDING THE ALARM OVER

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE.

>> ELON MUSK SAYS ARTIFICIALINTELLIGENCE IS THE BIGGEST

THREAT TO US ALL.

>> WITH ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCEWE ARE SUMMONING THE DEMON.

>> Stephen: OH, THAT ISRIDICULOUS.

THE ONLY WAY TO SUMMON THE DEMONIS TO DRINK THE BLOOD OF A LIVE

GOAT INSIDE A CANDLELITPENTAGRAM-- OR SO I AM TOLD.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

BUT, YOU KNOW, ELON MUSK IS ABILLIONAIRE.

HE MUST BE RIGHT.

SO TONIGHT I AM TAKING A STRONGSTAND AGAINST-- WHAT!

>> STEPHEN, STOP TALKING.

>> Stephen: FUTURE STEPHEN,WHAT'S WRONG?

>> EVERYTHING'S FINE.

THE FUTURE'S AWESOME.

HEY, MAN, WOULD YOU BY ANYCHANCE HAVE A STEEL MESH

COLANDER BACK THERE?

>> Stephen, OF COURSE, THAT'SHOW I STRAIN PASTA DURING

COMMERCIALS.

>> OH, THANK GOD!

IT BLOCKS THE SIGNALS OF THESURVEILLANCE DIODE.

>> Stephen: WHOSE SIGNAL?

>> THE AUTONOMOUS DRONEOVERLORDS WHO CONQUERED OUR

PLANET SHORTLY AFTER YOU FOOLSTAUGHT THEM TO RECOGNIZE WHEN

THEY'VE BEEN IN A ROOM BEFORE.

>> Stephen: SO ELON WASRIGHT?

RIGHT!

I CALL HIM ELON.

HE'S A FRIEND.

DRONES ARE A DANGEROUS ANDMALEVOLENT FORCE--

>> SHHH!

WHENEVER YOU DENOUNCE THE DRONESHERE IN THE PAST, IN THE FUTURE,

THEY PUNISH ME.

THEY WHIP ME WITH LASER CHAINS.

OH, I'D BETTER GO.

I CAN FEEL THEM CRACKING THEGEOMETRIC INTERFERENCE PATTERN

OF THIS WILLIAMS-SONOMA PASTASTRAIRN.

>> Stephen: WAIT!

I NEED TO KNOW ONE THING-- INTHE FUTURE, IS THERE STILL

DRONE BONING?

>> STEPHEN THE ONLY WAY THEY LETUS HAVE SEX IS IF THEY CAN

WATCH.

IN THE FUTURE, THERE IS ONLYDRONE BONING.

AGGH! LASER CHAINS!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: SO, LIKE I'VE

ALWAYS SAID, AUTONOMOUS DRONESARE GREAT.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, MYWATER IS BOILING, SO IT'S TIME

FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

NATION, THE THE GOOD NEWS FROMTHE MIDTERMS JUST KEEPS COMING.

LAST NIGHT, THE A.P. CALLEDANOTHER SENATE RACE.

ALASKA HAS TURNED RED, OR MAYBETHANKS TO CLIMATE CHANGE THAT

MIGHT JUST BE THE TEMPERATURE UPTHERE NOW. OF COURSE

ANALYZING THE MIDTERMS IS LIKEPEELING BACK THE LAYERS OF AN

ONION, IN THAT THE DEEPER YOUGO, THE MORE THE DEMOCRATS CRY.

( LAUGHTER )JIM?

>> THEY LOST CONTROL OF ALMOSTEVERY MAJOR STATE LEGISLATURE IN

THE COUNTRY.

>> WE HAVE MORE GOVERNORS ON THEREPUBLICAN SIDE BUT MORE

IMPORTANTLY THAN, THAT 70%,SEVEN OUT OF 10 STATE

LEGISLATURES ARE REPUBLICAN.

>> THAT'S WHERE THE FARM TEAMSARE FOR FUTURE CANDIDATES.

>> IT'S A HUGE PROBLEM FOR THEDEMOCRATS.

IT'S NOT JUST THE FARM TEAM ISBEING DEPLETED.

IT'S THE FARM TEAMS OF THE FARMTEAMS IN THE STATE HOUSES.

>> Stephen: DEMOCRATS HAVELOST THEIR FARM TEAMS.

NOW WHO WILL THEY TURN TO WHENHILLARY BLOWS OUT HER KNEE

AT AN IOWA PANCAKE BREAKFAST.SHE'LL BE ON THE D.L.

FARM TEAMS ARE CRUCIAL TODEVELOPING FUTURE LEADERS.

REMEMBER.

TWO YEARS BEFORE HE RAN FORPRESIDENT, BARACK OBAMA WAS AN

ILLINOIS STATE SENATOR.

WHO COULD HAVE IMAGINED THATTODAY HE'D BE IN THE WHITE

HOUSE WISHING HE WAS AN ILLINOISSTATE SENATOR.

( LAUGHTER )SO TONIGHT I PROFILE ONE OF

THESE PRE-HEROES IN "MR. SMITHGOES TO THE STATE LEGISLATURE,

THEN LATER POSSIBLY WASHINGTON."

( LAUGHTER )MY NEW FAV RAVE IS COLORADO

LEGISLATURE IS GORDONKLINGENSCHMITT.

I ASSUME HIS FATHER WAS ASCHMITT, AND HIS MOTHER A

KLINGON.

KLINGENSCHMITT IS A FORMER NAVYCHAPLAIN WHO CAMPAIGNED WITH A

SIMPLE MESSAGE?

>> WHY AM I HOLDING THISPITCHFORK?

I WANT THIS TO BE A SYMBOL OFTHE POSITIVE CAMPAIGN

THAT I AM RUNNING.

>> Stephen: IT IS REMINISCENTOF THE POSITIVE CAMPAIGN THE

VILLAGERS RAN TO ELECTFRANKENSTEIN.

BUT KLINGENSCHMITT'S CAMPAIGNSTANDS FOR SO MUCH MORE.

HE'S THE HEAD OF THE PRAY INJESUS' NAME PROJECT OR

PIJNP, WHICH HAS BEENDESIGNATED AS AN ANTI-L.G.B.T.

HATE GROUP BY THE SOUTHERNPOVERTY LAW CENTER.

BUT KLINGENSCHMITT DOESN'T HATETHE GAYS.

HE'S JUST CONCERNED FOR THEM ASHE DEMONSTRATES ON HIS YOUTUBE

PROGRAM.

>> THE DEMONIC SPIRITSINSIDE THE HOMOSEXUAL

AGENDA THAT ARE TRYING TOREDEFINE FAMILY AND

HOMOSEXUALIZE AND RECRUIT YOURCHILDREN, NEITHER THE

EFFEMINATE NOR THE HOMOSEXUALSWILL INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

JESUS, IF HE WERE PROVIDINGMARRIAGE COUNSELING TO TWO GAY

MEN WHO WERE MARRIED, JESUSWOULD COMMAND THEM TO GET

DIVORCED.

>> Stephen: YES, IF JESUS WERETHEIR MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, HE

WOULD TELL THEM TO GET DIVORCED,AND HE'D TAKE 65 MINUTES TO DO

IT SO HE COULD CHARGE THEM FORTHE SECOND HOUR.

FOLKS, IT'S NOT JUST THE GAYS.

IT'S NOT JUST THE GAYS.

EVERYONE NEEDS A LITTLEKLINGENSCHMITT EXORICISM.

>> DON'T YOU THINK IT'SSOMETHING INSIDE THE ATHEIST

COMPLAINER THAT'S WRONG?

I HAVE A SOLUTION.

LET'S DO AN EXORICISM, AND CASTTHE DEVIL OUT OF THEM.

JULIUS GENACHOWSKI THE F.C.C.CHAIRMAN HAS NOT ENFORCED

DECENCY STANDARDS. THE DEMONICSPIRIT INFLUENCES HIM TO ABUSE

AND MOLEST AND DARE I SAYVISUALLY RAPE YOUR CHILDREN

WE PRAY AGAINST THE DOMESTICENEMIES OF THE CONSTITUTION.

AGAINST THE DEMON OF TYRANNY WHOIS USING THE WHITE HOUSE

OCCUPANT, THAT DEMONIC SPIRIT ISOPPRESSING US.

FATHER, WE COMMAND IT TO LEAVE.

WE PRAY THAT YOU WILL HELP THEPRESIDENT REPENT.

>> Stephen: YES, OBAMA ISPOSSESSED BY A DEMON.

AND HE WON'T EVEN US THE DEMON'SBIRTH CERTIFICATE.

( LAUGHTER )NOW, SAYING THE PRESIDENT IS

POSSESSED BY A DEMON COULD BESEEN AS A TAD INFLAMMATORY, BUT

AFTER HE WAS ELECTEDKLINGENSCHMITT TOLD A

CHICAGO NEWPAPAER, QUOTE

"I WOULD SAY IT'S TIME FORPEOPLE OF GOOD WILL ON BOTH

SIDES OF THE POLITICAL DEBATE TOCOME TOGETHER TO HAVE REASONABLE

DISCUSSIONS ABOUT THESE ISSUES."

YES.

NOW THAT THE BRUISING CAMPAIGNIS OVER, DEMOCRATS SHOULD JOIN

KLINGENSCHMITT IN A REASONABLEDISCUSSION ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT

BARACK OBAMA IS POSSESSED BY ADEMON.

( LAUGHTER )IS THAT SO HARD?

( APPLAUSE )YOU--

( CHEERS )YOU CAN EXPRESS YOUR POINT OF

VIEW THAT HE IS NOT, ANDKLINGENSCHMITT CAN EXPRESS HIS

POINT OF VIEW THAT A DEMON MADEYOU THINK THAT.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: MY GUEST TONIGHTIS A U.C.L.A. PROFESSOR WIDELY

REGARDED AS THE WORLD'S GREATESTLIVING MATHEMATICIAN.

I'LL ASK HIM WHAT NUMBER I'MTHINKING OF.

PLEASE WELCOME TERENCE TAO.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )MR. TAO, PROFESSOR TAO, THANKS

SO MUCH FOR BEING ON.

THANKS FOR BEING HERE.

>> IT'S A PLEASURE.

>> Stephen: NOW, YOU ARE APROFESSOR OF MATHEMATICS AT

U.C.L.A.

YOU HAVE WON A FIELDS MEDAL,WHICH IS REGARDED AS THE NOBEL

PRIZE OF MATHEMATICS.

>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> Stephen: IT'S BEEN CALLEDTHAT.

YOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE THEMMacARTHUR GENIUS FELLOWSHIPS

AND YOU WON THE 2015BREAKTHROUGH PRIZE IN

MATHEMATICS, THOUGH IT'S ONLY2014. DID I JUST CHECK YOUR

MATH?>> IT'S ALL ABOUT THE FUTURE.

>> Stephen: IT'S ALL ABOUT THEFUTURE OKAY.

YOU'RE KNOWN BY SOME OF YOURCOLLEAGUES AS THE MOZART OF

MATH.

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU GOTINTO MATH?

>> SO MY PARENTS TOLD ME WHEN IWAS TWO THEY FOUND ME

TEACHING SOME OLDER KIDSHOW TO COUNT USING NUMBER BLOCKS

>> Stephen: REALLY. SO YOU'REBOSSY, TOO?

>> I GUESS SO.

I DON'T REMEMBER IT MYSELF.

APPARENTLY I TAUGHT MYSELF TOCOUNT FROM "SESAME STREET."

>> Stephen: WAS THE COUNT VONCOUNT THE ONE WHO TAUGHT YOU?

>> I GUESS IT MUST HAVE BEEN.

GOOD GUY.

>> Stephen: HE SHOULD GET SOMEOF THAT FIELDS MEDAL MONEY, I

THINK.

YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIFICSPECIALTY WHICH IS PRIME

NUMBERS.

I REMEMBER, OBVIOUSLY, IREMEMBER MATH CLASS THERE'S THE

NUMBER LINE AND ALL THAT.

POSITIVE IS THAT WAY, NEGATIVEIS THAT WAY.

TALK TO ME ABOUT PRIMES.

WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW ABOUTPRIMES?

>> PRIME NUMBERS ARE WHOLENUMBERS BIGGER THAN 1 BUT THEY

CAN'T BE FACTORED INTO SMALLERNUMBERS.

THEY'RE THE ATOMIC ELEMENTS OFNUMBER THEORY.

IN CHEMISTRY -->> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

ATOMIC ELEMENTS

>> IN CHEMISTRY ALL MATTER ISMADE UP OF ATOMS, AND IN MATH

ALL NUMBERS ARE MADE UP OF WHOLENUMBERS LIKE 15 IS 3 TIMES 5

EVERY NUMBER CAN BE -->> Stephen: I WANT TO CHECK

THE MATH ON THAT ONE.

HOLD ON.

3... THAT CHECKS OUT.

ALL RIGHT, SO?

>> SO THEY'RE VERY FUNDAMENTALIN MATHEMATICS.

BUT DESPITE BEING SOFUNDAMENTAL, AND THEY'VE BEEN

STUDIED SINCE THE ANCIENT GREEKSMORE THAN 2,000 YEARS AGO

THERE'S A LOT WE STILL DON'TKNOW ABOUT THEM.

>> Stephen: HOW MANY PRIMENUMBERS ARE THERE?

>> THEY GO ON FOREVER.

>> Stephen: THERE HAS TO BE ANUMBER OF THEM.

THEY'RE NUMBERS, ERGO, THEREMUST BE A NUMBER OF THEM.

>> THERE'S AN INFINITY OF THEM.

IT'S ANY NUMBER YOU WISH.

>> Stephen: BUT THERE ARE NOMORE THAN INFINITY?

>> THERE'S ONLY AN INFINITENUMBER OF THEM.

>> Stephen: ONLY AN INFINITE.

THEY ARE LIMITED BY INFINITY.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY.

THERE'S SOMETHING CALLED TWINPRIMES.

>> YES, TWIN PRIMES ARE PAIRS OF PRIMES DISTANCED TWO

APART, ALMOST AS CLOSE AS THEYCOULD BE 5 AND 7.

11 AND 13.

THESE ARE TWIN PRIMES.

>> Stephen: WOULDN'T--WOULDN'T-- WOULDN'T A TWIN PRIME

BE 5 AND 5?

>> NO, THAT'S A PRIME TWICE.

>> Stephen: OH, REALLY?

>> YES.

>> Stephen: BUT THAT'S TWINS.

TWINS ARE THE SAME PERSON TWICE.

>> WELL -->> Stephen: 5 AND 7 TWO YEARS

IS A LONG TIME FOR THE SECONDBABY TO STAY IN THE BIRTH CANAL.

>> THAT'S TRUE.

>> Stephen: BEFORE IT COMESDOWN, OKAY?

TWINS CANNOT BE TWO DIFFERENTAGES?

>> THE ANALOGY IS A LITTLE -->> Stephen: CHECK MATE, CHECK

MATE.

>> FAIR ENOUGH YOU CAUGHT ME.

>> Stephen: I GOT YA.

>> THESE ARE PAIRS OF PRIMESWHICH ARE TWO APART.

AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW MANY THEREARE.

SO YOU ASKED HOW MANY PRIMESTHERE WERE.

THERE ARE INFINITELY MANY.

WE DON'T KNOW IF THERE AREINFINITELY TWIN PRIMES OR NOT.

THIS IS ONE OF THE OLDESTQUESTIONS IN MATHEMATICS.

>> Stephen: REALLY?>> YEAH ARE THE TWIN PRIMES

A FINITE RESOURCE OR DO THEY GOON FOREVER?

WE DON'T KNOW.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S A COUSINPRIME?

IS THERE A COUSIN-->> OH! WOW, OKAY.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

>> COUSIN PRIMES ARE PAIRS OFPRIMES THAT ARE FOUR APART, LIKE

7 AND 11.

THEY'RE NOT QUITE AS CLOSE ASTWINS PUT THEY'RE PRETTY CLOSE.

AND THEN THERE ARE SEXY PRIMES.

>> Stephen: SEXY PRIMES?

>> SEXY PRIMES.

>> Stephen: WHAT ARE THEY?

>> THAT'S THE OFFICIAL TERM.

PAIRS OF PRIMES THAT ARE SIXAPART.

SO WE DON'T KNOW THERE ISINFINITELY MANY TWIN PRIMES.

INFINITELY MANY COUSIN PRIMES ORIF THERE ARE INFINITELY MANY

SEXY PRIMES. BUT JUST THIS YEARIT WAS PROVEN -- BASED ON A

HYPOTHESIS -- THAT ONE ONE OFTHOSE THREE CLASSES WAS

INFINITE.

>> Stephen: WAIT A MINUTE, YOUDON'T KNOW WHICH ONE IS

INFINITE, BUT YOU KNOW ONE OFTHEM IS?

>> YES.

>> Stephen: HOW COULD YOU KNOWONE OF THEM IS BUT NOT KNOW

WHICH ONE?

IS THIS LIKE "LET'S MAKE ADEAL?"

THERE ARE THREE DIFFERENTCURTAINS.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

>> THERE'S A FORMULA FOR HOWMANY TWIN PRIMES THERE ARE UP TO

A CERTAIN POINT, AND HOW MANYSEXY PRIMES OR HOW MANY COUSIN

PRIMES.

AND YOU CAN ADD THEM UP.

AND WE KNOW THE SUM IS INFINITE.ONE OF THE THREE IS INFINITE BUT

WE DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE. WE'LLPROBABLY FIGURE THEM OUT

>> Stephen: ARE COUSIN PRIMESEVER SEXY BUT YOU'RE AFRAID TO

SAY IT BECAUSE IT SOUNDS--( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )IT SOUNDS CREEPY?

>> OH, DEAR.

MAYBE SOME OF THE PRIMES, BUT,YEAH.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOURFAVORITE NUMBER?

( LAUGHTER )YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE ONE, RIGHT?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?

>> IN MATHEMATICS YOU DON'T SORTOF TREAT ANY NUMBER WITH

FAVORITISM.

>> Stephen: THE BEST NUMBER IS5 BECAUSE THE JACKSON 5.

BEN FOLDS 5.

5, IT'S FIVE.>> OK

>> Stephen: WELL WHAT'S NEXT?

WHAT'S THE NEXT-- IF YOU WON THEPRIZE FOR THE FUTURE OF MATH,

WHAT'S THE NEXT THING THAT'SHAPPENING IN MATH?

>> I AM WORKING ON FLUIDEQUATIONS.

>> Stephen: ON WHAT EQUATIONS.

>> FLUID EQUATION.

>> Stephen: FOOD?

>> FLUID.

EQUATIONS THAT COVER THINGS LIKEWATER.

I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IFWATER CAN SPONTANEOUSLY BLOW UP.

>> Stephen: TERENCE, THATWOULD BE GOOD TO KNOW.

>> RIGHT, RIGHT.

>> Stephen: SO GOOD LUCK WITHTHAT.

KEEP IN TOUCH, PLEASE.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: TERENCE TAO, THANKYOU SO MUCH.

U.C.L.A. MATHEMATICS PROFESSOR,TERENCE TAO.

PRIME NUMBERS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: GOOD NIGHT.