In this episode, the economic crisis drives people back to church -- I assume to skim off the collection plates. Then, I look at the Oscar winners, which evidently are being outsourced to India. And my guest tonight is Professor Helen Fisher, who has a new theory on matchmaking -- me, too: Colbert plus you equals magic. When life deals you lemons, make scrambled eggs. I make the worst scrambled eggs. This is The Colbert Report.