2016

  • Season 3, Ep 5
  • 03/16/2016

Abbi embarks on a quest to take the perfect driver's license photo, and Ilana's job hunt leads her to a surprising place.

(Ilana)Okay, so how manydo we have so far?

We're at 59.

(exhales sharply)Okay.

Brrrr-- 60.

A GIF basket.

It's an app that stores.GIFs in your phone

so that when yousend a text,

you can send the GIFfaster than your friend.

Love it,going on the list.

Even though, someone at workactually told me

it's pronounced"jiff."

I know, but I amnot doing that.

No,it's disgusting.

I'm not doingthat either.

Okay,I have one.

A gynecologist that's alsoa bikini waxer.

That is a literalone-stop pussy shop.

I love it!

I love you,I love this day.

I think we might actuallybe literal geniuses.

Oh, we for sureare geniuses.

Get this.

A skateboard,with a handle.

That's, like,a scooter.

Derr.

Derr, derr,derr, derr.

Okay,I have one.

Boots that have magnets on thebottom, so when you walk around,

you're justpicking up change.

You never needto bend over.

I love that.

Then I could be the Jewishstereotype that I am

without beingknown for it.

Exactly, dude.

God, this is the mostproductive morning of my life.

I feel rejuvenated.

I'm truly alive.

Okay,we're at 63.

I say we get brunch.

If by brunch, you meanbodega bacon egg and cheese,

then I am in.

Dass it.

Damn, the parkis serene today.

It's just,like, beautiful.

Why don't we comehere more?

It's just far.It is far.

(Ialana)Okay, so how manydo we have so far?

(Abbi)Um, we're at 59.

Okay...60:

A GIF basket.

It's an app that stores .GIFsin your phone so that when you

send a text, you can sendthe GIF faster than your friend.

Love it, going on the list.

Even though someone at workactually told me

it's pronounced "jiff."

I know,but I am not doing that.

No, it's disgusting.I'm not doing any of that.

Okay, I have one.

A gynecologist that's alsoa bikini waxer.

That is a "lit-rol"one-stop pussy shop.

I love it.

I love you,I love this day,

I think we might actuallybe literal geniuses.

Oh, we for sureare geniuses.

Get this.

A skateboard, with a handle.

That's, like, a scooter?...Derr.

Derr, derr, derr, derr.Okay, I have one.

Boots that have magnets on thebottom so when you walk around,

you're justpicking up change.

You never need to bend over.I love that.

Then I could be the Jewishstereotype that I am

without being known for it.

(laughing)Exactly, dude.

God, this is the mostproductive morning of my life.

I feel rejuvenated.I'm truly alive.

Okay, we're at 63,I say we get brunch.

If by "brunch" you meanbodega bacon egg and cheese,

then I am in.

Dassit.

Damn, the parkis serene today.

It's just, like, beautiful.Why don't we come here more?

It's just far.It is far.