Overclockwise

  • Season 6, Ep 625
  • 09/01/2011

Bender evolves into a godlike being after vastly increasing his processing power.

I can't keep up with today's

high-speed,top-of-the-line kids!

You can't evenkeep up with me,

and I'm some sortof Stone Age throwback.You know,

I might be ableto speed up your reflexes

by overclocking you.

Uh, what's that, sonny?

You say it'll putsome whoopie in my cushion?

(electric tool whirring)

This might take a while.

I've got to adjustthe memory timing,

raise the CPU voltage,

and delete 12 terabytesof outdated catchphrases.

Sounds like fun on a bun!

FEMININE COMPUTER VOICE Deleted.Aw.

Fry, can we talkabout our relationship?

Of course. Our relationshipis the best thing in my life,

so I'm sure I'll enjoytalking about it with you.

(groans)I don't know.

I guess I'm justfeeling uneasy

about us beingso on-again-off-again.

Maybe it's noneof my business,

but if it were up to me,we'd be on allthe time.

And I mean all the time.

But what would that be like?

I mean, if we were together,

where would we beten years from now?

Still here?Definitely.

Or... somewhere else.

(groans)Maybe I'm having some kind of...

early-life crisis,but, look,

don't you ever wonderabout the future?

Sure, but you'realways in it.

Also, sometimesterminators.

All right.

You should run a lot faster now.

Unless you die.

Hyah!

(whirring, beeping)

Ooh, I'm smart!

I know how tospell "aardvark"!

February is the shortest month!

There's...

3,018 jelly beansin that jar!

(chuckles)Oh, damn, I'm good!

I mean 3,018 rat kidneys.

(spits)

Now, then, my man, let's seeif your reflexes are...

BENDER:Faster!

(yells)

Get 'em! Get 'em!Get 'em!

Hey, foreign aggressors,vassup?

Oh, we were just eating spaetzleand listening to Kraftwerk...

I-I mean fire!

(jazz piano plays lively tune)

That tap-dancing decadentjazz-baby is too fast for us!

Let's see him outrun a V-2!

(loud whoosh)

It's my brainsagainst your Von Braun!

(slicing, metallic ringing)

(loud clattering)

Ach! I could have fired a V8!

(loud explosion, men cry out)

Those guysnormally stink.

Bender, what happened to you?

I'll try to put it in termsyou can comprehend.

I passedthe existential singularity.

Try harder!

I hacked myself inside-out,

and now the entire universeis my processor.

FRY:Whoa!

I definitely wantto hear about that,

but first, I need your help.

The Professor and Cubert arein trouble, and Leela left me.

I'm in misery!

I've grown far beyond the pettyconcerns of your world.

Every time I burp,a new galaxy is born.

(burping)

Two, if I've beeneating broccoli.

All existenceis just a chess game,

and I can see 50 moves ahead.

Human emotionno longer concerns me.

FRY:But-But Randy said...

Randy?! Have you beenhanging out with Randy?

Please, Bender. If everythingis a chess game for you,

you must know how to help me.

I'm sorry, Fry, but some gamesyou just can't win.

Cubert and the Professorare guilty.

The jury will voteto convict.

I can't change that.

Well, what about Leela?

Is there any hope things couldstill work out between us?

(chiming and trilling)

It's getting late.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have some new heavy elementsto create.

Better cover your 'nads.

It may get a littlenon-Newtonian in here.

(whirring and popping)

Not only have the defendantsfailed to rebut the charges,

they have not even presentedany mitigating factors

to recommend leniency.

It strikes meas an extra-risky strategy.

Did you sayextra-crispy recipe?

You know I didn't.

Your Honor, if we could locateBender Rodriguez,

he would testify that myclients acted without malice.

No, he wouldn't.

Bender doesn't careabout us anymore.

(all gasping)

Someone used to careabout me? Hooray!

In that case, the jurywill begin its deliberations.

Bailiff, releasethe jury collies.

(barking)

I finally nailedFarnsworth.

Destroying the boyis just icing on the cake.

No one destroys a boylike you, Mother.

Thank you, yourepulsive disappointment.

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