September 3, 2014 - Randall Munroe

  • 09/03/2014

Critics demand that Obama go to war with ISIS, Frank Underwood from "House of Cards" offers leadership advice, and Randall Munroe discusses his book "What If?"

>> Stephen: TONIGHT CANAMERICA DEFEAT ISIS?

AND IF SO WITH CAN WE THENDEFEAT THE MORE EXTREMIST

GROUP WHO FILLS THE VACUUMLEFT BY ISIS.

THEN THE FUTURE OF AIRTRAVEL HAS BEEN DELAYED TWO

HOURS DUE TO MAINTENANCE.

AND MY GUEST RANDALL MUNROECREATED THE INTERNET COMIC

XKCD WHICH IS FOR LOVE,MATH, COSMOLOGY, STATISTICS

AND HUMAN BEHAVIOR.

SO BASICALLY IT'S GARFIELD.

(LAUGHTER)FORMER HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER

ERIC CANTOR HAS TAKEN A NEWJOB AT A WALL STREET

INVESTMENT BANK.

NOW HE CAN FINALLY HAVE SOMEINFLUENCE IN CONGRESS.

>> THIS IS THE COLBERTREPORT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: RIGHT THERE,

WELCOME TO THE REPORT,EVERYBODY, GOOD TO HAVE YOU

WITH US.

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN!")

>> THANK YOU LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

FOLKS, I CANNOT TELL YOU HOWMUCH I APPRECIATE YOU BEING

HERE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> FOLKS, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

FOR THAT ENERGY AND THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE

ON THIS QUITE POSSIBLY THELAST EPISODE OF THE COLBERT

REPORT.

LISTEN, I PLANNED, IPLANNED-- YOU'RE A LITTLE

LATE.

I PLANNED ON GOING TILLMID-DECEMBER BUT AMERICA

MIGHT NOT LAST THAT LONG.

(LAUGHTER)BECAUSE THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD

IS SWIRLING DOWN THE TOILETBOWL, WHICH IS ALSO FULL OF

FLAMES.

(LAUGHTER)HOW BOTH OF THOSE ARE

POSSIBLE, I DON'T KNOW.

I'M GOING TO SAY FRACKING.

(LAUGHTER)BUT ISIS IS PUTTING ON

HORRIFIC MURDER VIDEOS THATARE SOUL CRUSHING TO EVEN

CONSIDER.

AND ITS AT DARK TIMES LIKETHIS THAT WE AMERICANS NEED

OUR PRESIDENT TO STEP ON TOTHE WORLD STAGE AND DECLARE

THAT AMERICA IS GOING TOHUNT DOWN THE BAD GUYS AND

GIVE THEM A TASTE OF WHATGENERAL WASHINGTON USED TO

CALL THE OLD WOODEN GROINBERRIES.

(LAUGHTER)YES, HE ALSO HAD WOODEN

BALLS.

A TRAGIC CHERRYTREE-CHOPPING ACCIDENT AS A

CHILD.

THAT'S WHY HE AND MARTHA NEVERHAD CHILDREN.

(LAUGHTER)WE ALL KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO

DO.

>> WHY AREN'T WE DECLARING .

>> WHY ARE WE NOT DECLARINGWAR, PURELY SO WE CAN TAKE

THE ACTION NECESSARY TOPROTECT US AT HOME.

>> JUST LIKE THEADMINISTRATION, THE PENTAGON

IS RELUCTANT TO USETHAT THREE LETTER WORD THAT

IS SPELLED W-A-R>> YES, WE NEED TO DECLARE

WAR ON WHATEVER DOOCY JUSTSPELLED.

>> HEY, THAT SPELLS WAR TOO.

BUT LISTEN, TO WHY OBAMAWON'T.

>> WE DON'T HAVE A STRATEGYYET.

>> SO WHAT?

(LAUGHTER)NO STRATEGY WAS OUR STRATEGY

THE LAST TIME WE STARTED AWAR.

(LAUGHTER)THERE ARE NO SURPRISE,

FOLKS.

PROFESSOR PLANS-A-LOT ISONCE AGAIN OVERTHINKING THIS

WHOLE KILLING PEOPLE THING.

>> THE WHITE HOUSE AIDE ISIMMEDIATELY TELLING ME LOOK,

WHAT HE'S SAYING IS IT IS ATWO-STEP PROCESS AND

ULTIMATELY HE WANTS TODESTROY ISIS.

IN THE MEANTIME WANTS TOMANAGE THIS THREAT.

>> TWO-STEPS.

I CAN'T WRAP MY BRAIN AROUNDSOMETHING AS COMPLICATED AS

TWO-STEPS.

THAT'S LIKE EXPECTING ME TOSHAKE AND BAKE.

I'M HUNGRY.

YOU JUST SHAKE AND STARTEATING RAW CHICKEN.

(LAUGHTER)AND EVEN WORSE, EVEN WORSE

IS WHAT OBAMA'S TWO-STEPSARE.

>> IT'S GOING TO TAKE TIMEFOR US TO BE ABLE TO ROLL

THEM BACK AND IT IS GOING TOTAKE TIME FOR US TO BE ABLE

TO FORM THE REGIONALCOALITION THAT'S GOING TO BE

REQUIRED.

OUR OBJECTIVE IS CLEAR.

AND THAT IS TO DEGRADE AND

DESTROY ISIS.

>> I GET THE DESTROY BUT HOWARE WE SUPPOSED TO DEGRADE

THEM, HACK THEIR NEWSSELFIES FROM I CLOUD?

ENOUGH WITH THE TALKIETHINKIE.

AFTER PEARL HARBOR DID FDRGO BEFORE CONGRESS AND YAMMER

ON ABOUT BUILDING TRUSTSWITH ALLIES AND HOW TOJO

WASN'T A TRUE REPRESENTATIVEOF THE NOBLE JAPANESE

PEOPLE?

NO, HE SAID IT WAS A DAYTHAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY AND

HE THREW ELEANOR OVER HISSHOULDER, ROLLED OFF THE

LINCOLN BEDROOM YELLINGFRANKIE WANTS SOME PANKIE.

TAKE CONTROL!

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE,SIR!

(APPLAUSE)THIS IS WHAT WE NEED.

AND IT IS NO WONDER WITHBEHAVIOR LIKE THIS IT'S NO

WONDER PEOPLE ARE LOOKINGFOR A NEW LEADER.

>> WITH NETANYAHU YOU HAVE AMAN WHO PUTS A COUNTRY

BEFORE THE WORLD, WITH OBAMAYOU HAVE SOMEBODY WHO PUTS

THE WORLD BEFORE THECOUNTRY.

>> WE GET LIKE NETANYAHU ORLIKE PUTIN IN FOR 48 HOURS.

>> WHERE IS OUR PLAN OFACTION?

GERMANY'S GOT ONE.

GERMANY'S ON THE MOVE.

>> Stephen: YES, THERE ISNOTHING MORE REASSURING THAN

THE PHRASE GERMANY'S ON THEMOVE.

WHY CAN'T THEY LEAD THEUNITED STATES.

(APPLAUSE)BUT THERE MIGHT BE, FOLKS,

THERE MIGHT BE SOMEONE EVENBETTER THAN GERMANS TO LEAD

AMERICA TO WAR.

>> IN SHARP CONTRAST TOPRESIDENT OBAMA, BRITISH

PRIME MINISTER DAVID CAMERONGETTING TOUGH ON TERRORISM.

>> I WISH OUR PRESIDENT WASSHOWING THE SAME LEADERSHIP

THAT DAVID CAMERON SHOWED.

>> THANK GOD FOR DAVIDCAMERON.

HE ACTUALLY SOUNDED LIKE THELEADER OF THE WEST.

>> I LOVE WHAT DAVID CAMERONIS SAYING.

AND I WISH OUR PRESIDENTWOULD SAY THE SAME SAME

THING.

>> Stephen: YES, PRIMEMINISTER DAVID CAMERON, A

NAME SYNONYMOUS WITH-- WAIT,THAT'S NOT TONY BLAIR?

WHERE'S TONY BLAIR?

(LAUGHTER)LAST FRIDAY CAM HERE GAVE A

SPEECH ABOUT ISIS THATSHOWED HE'S GOT A STIFF

UPPER LIP AND EVEN STIFFERLOWER SACK.

>> MY FIRST PRIORITY ASPRIME MINISTER IS TO MAKE

SURE WE DO EVERYTHINGPOSSIBLE TO KEEP OUR PEOPLE

SAFE.

THE ROOT CAUSE OF THISTHREAT TO OUR SECURITY IS

QUITE CLEAR.

IT IS A POISONOUS IDEOLOGYOF ISLAMIST EXTREMISM.

WE COULD BE FACING ATERRORIST STATE ON THE

SHORES OF THE MEDITERRANEAN.

>> THE JOINT TERRORISMANALYSIS CENTER HAS

INCREASED THE THREAT LEVELIN THE UNITED KINGDOM FROM

SUBSTANTIAL TO SEVERE.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

THEY HAVE RAISED THE TERRORTHREAT LEVEL FROM

SUBSTANTIAL TO SEVERE WHICHIS JUST ONE STEP AWAY FROM

THE U.K.'S HIGHEST LEVELSUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALI--OH

-[BLEEP](CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: AND THAT IS NOT-- FOLKS THAT'S NOT THE

ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEENTHESE TWO LEADERS.

LOOK AT CAMERON'S SUITDURING THE SPEECH IT SAYS

POWER, DIGNITY, STRENGTH.

WHILE OBAMA'S SUIT SAYS I'MA GROOMSMAN IN AN AUGUST

WEDDING.

(LAUGHTER)BUT EVEN DAVID CAMERON PEALS

IN COMPARISON TO THE MAN IWOULD LIKE TO SEE LEAD US,

FRANK UNDERWOOD FROM HOUSEOF CARDS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> FOLKS, IF YOU HAVEN'T

STOLEN YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND'SNETFLIX PASSWORD YET FRANK

UNDERWOOD IS A WASHINGTONPOWER PLAYER WHO ROSE TO

PROMINENCE THROUGH LYING,SCHEMING, BACKSTABBING AND

MURDER.

BUT GETS THINGS DONE INWASHINGTON.

IF YOU CAN BUY INTO THAT CRAZYPREMISE, IT IS A

REALLY GREAT SHOW.

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO ISSPORTING SERIOUS UNDERWOOD,

JIM.

>> IT DOES SEEM LIKEPRESIDENT OBAMA HAS A LITTLE

BIT OF FRANK UNDERWOOD ENVY.

>> WOULD WASHINGTON RUNSMOOTHER IN FRANK UNDERWOOD

WAS CALLING THE SHOTS?

>> Stephen: YES, WASHINGTONWOULD RUN SMOOTHER IF

FICTIONAL NETFLIX CHARACTERSWERE IN CHARGE.

I MEAN WHO, WHO, WHO, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN, WOULD DARE

PICK A FIGHT WITH HOUSEMAJORITY WHIP CRAZY-- CRAZY

EYES.

(APPLAUSE)GOD, HOW I WISH FRANK

UNDERWOOD WERE PRESIDENT.

BUT THAT CAN'T HAPPENBECAUSE HOUSE OF CARDS IS

JUST A TV SHOW.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

BUT STEVEN, I HATE TO INFORM YOUTHAT THIS IS ALSO

JUST A TV SHOW.

>> Stephen: WELL, PRESIDENTFRANCIS UNDERWOOD, I CAN'T

BELIEVE IT.

>> PLEASE, STEVEN, I DETESTFORMALITIES. JUST CALL ME

PRESIDENT FRANK UNDERWOOD.

>> Stephen: WELL, IT IS AREAL HONOR TO HAVE YOU HERE,

SIR.

I'M A HUGE FAN.

HOW DO YOU GET SO MUCH DONE?

>> WELL, IT'S LIKE I ALWAYSSAY, STEPHEN, A DOG DOESN'T

NEED TO SHOW ITS TEETH ASLONG AS HIS GROWL IS DEEP

ENOUGH.

HIS FOOD BOWL IS FULL AND HEKNOWS WHERE ALL THE BONES

ARE BURIED.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: WOW.

I HAVE NO [BLEEP] IDEA WHATTHAT MEANS.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

BUT I GOT TO TELL YOU-- THAT,THAT WAS MENACINGLY HOMESPUN,

SIR.

I JUST HOPE OBAMA WASWATCHING.

>> OH, I'M SURE HE IS,STEPHEN.

"THE COLBERT REPORT" ISTREMENDOUSLY INFLUENTIAL.

IT'S LIKE A MEET THE PRESSTHAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY WATCH.

>> Stephen: OH, WELL, SIR,DO YOU WATCH MY SHOW.

>> NO, I HAVEN'T HAD THEPLEASURE.

I'M WAITING FOR THE WHOLESERIES TO BE OVER AND THEN

I'M GOING TO BINGE WATCHFROM EPISODE ONE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: I MEAN YOU'RE

GOING IT TO HAVE THEOPPORTUNITY PRETTY SOON

BECAUSE THE SHOW ENDS INMID-DECEMBER.

>> AH.

WELL, I OFFER YOU MYCONGRATULATIONS AND MY

CONDOLENCES.

WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS?

>> Stephen: WELL, I HAVEN'TREALLY MADE ANY SPECIFIC

PLANS, BUT-- I MEAN YOU HAVEPROVEN THAT A CHARMING SOUTH

CAROLINIAN CAN RISE QUICKLYIN WASHINGTON D.C.

I MEAN MAYBE I WILL HEADDOWN THERE.

>> REALLY?

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> I LIKE THAT IDEA VERYMUCH.

I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE YOUUNDER MY WING.

>> Stephen: REALLY, ITHOUGHT YOU WOULD BE

THREATENED BY MY AMBITION.

>> NO, NO, NOTHING LIKETHAT.

IN FACT, I WOULD LOVE TOGIVE YOU MY SPECIAL TOUR OF

D.C.

JUST TAKE THE LAST TRAINDOWN, I'LL MEET YOU ON THE

EDGE OF THE PLATFORM.

>> Stephen: WELL, THATSOUNDS GREAT.

I'LL MEET YOU THE VERY NEXTDAY AFTER THE SHOW'S OVER.

>> IT'S A DATE.

AND STEPHEN, FOR REASONS OFSECURITY IF ANYONE ASKS WHERE

YOU ARE GOING, JUST SAY TOCOMMIT SUICIDE.

>> Stephen: GOT IT MUM'S THEWORD, THANK YOU, SIR, I'LL

SEE YOU THEN, PRESIDENTFRANK UNDERWOOD, EVERYBODY.

WE'RE GOING TO BE FRIENDS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

NATION, THANKS SO MUCH.

FOLKS, I DON'T HAVE TO TELLYOU IT'S NO SURPRISE WE ALL

KNOW, WE ALL KNOW THAT AIRTRAVEL IS TERRIBLE.

FLIGHTS ARE ALWAYS LATE,THEY CUT THE SEX SCENES FROM

THE MOVIES.

AND THE SEAT BELTS ARENOWHERE NEAR LONG ENOUGH TO

HANG YOURSELF.

(LAUGHTER)AND THINGS ARE ONLY GETTING

WORSE.

>> AS PLANES HAVE BECOMEMORE PACKED, FLIGHT

ATTENDANTS SAY THEY HAVENOTICED AN INCREASE IN THE

NUMBER OF INCIDENTSINVOLVING UNRULY

PASSENGERS.

A WOMAN KNITTING DECIDED TORECLINE HER SEAT.

A WOMAN BEHIND HER WAS TRYINGTO SLEEP AND SHE HAD HER

HEAD ON A TRAY TABLE.

ACCORDING TO PASSENGERS SHESTARTED SCREAMING AND

SWEARING.

>> LAST NIGHT ON THEAMERICAN AIRLINES JET FROM

MIAMI TO PARIS, A MAN FOUGHTWITH A PASSENGER SEATED IN

FRONT OF HIM, HE SAYSBECAUSE HIS LEGS HURT FROM

DIABETES.

A FLIGHT ATTENDANT TRIED TOCALM THE MAN WHO REPORTEDLY

BECAME MORE IRATE ANDGRABBED ATTENDANT BY THE

ARM THAT IS WHEN AIRMARSHALS BROKE THEIR COVER.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT,ARMED MARSHALS ARE NOW

POISED TO SUBDUE THEDISGRUNTLED.

MAKING THE FOUR SEATINGCLASSES NOW FIRST, BUSINESS,

ECONOMY AND THE HUNGERGAMES.

(LAUGHTER)AND IN THE BATTLE FOR LEG

ROOM, THE WEAPONS AREGETTING MORE AND MORE

SOPHISTICATED.

>> THE TWO PASSENGERS INMIDDLE SEATS IN ECONOMY PLUS,

THOSE ARE THE SEATS YOU PAYEXTRA FOR A BIT MORE LEG

ROOM.

THE MAN IN 12 B USING WHATIS CALLED A KNEE DEFENDER ON

THE SEAT BACK IN FRONT OFHIM.

THOSE BRACKETS PLACED ON THETRAY TABLE KEEP THE SEAT IN

FRONT FROM RECLINING.

THAT MEANT THE WOMAN IN 11 BCOULD NOT LEAN BACK AND SHE

WAS NOT HAPPY.

AN ARGUMENT OVER PERSONALSPACE UNTIL SHE REPORTEDLY

TOOK A CUP OF WATER,THROWING IT INTO THE FACE OF

THE MAN BEHIND HER.

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW WHYSHE DIDN'T JUST CHANGE

SEATS.

THEY WERE THE ONLY TWOPEOPLE ON THE PLANE.

(LAUGHTER)NATION, THIS IS A TREND.

THIS IS A TREND ACROSS ALLMAJOR AIRLINES.

AS AIRLINE WEEKLY PUT IT,QUOTE, DENSIFICATION IS A

MAJOR TREND IN THE INDUSTRYNOW.

AND WHEN THERE'S MAJORDENSIFICATION YOU CAN EXPECT

A LITTLE PUNCHIFICATION.

SOME SHOUTENING ANDEVENTUALLY SOMEONE IS GOING

TO GET STABULATED.

BUT LET ME ASSURE NEW ISHAPPENING FOR THE BEST

POSSIBLE REASONS, FLYERS INTHE BACK OF THE PLANE ARE

GETTING SQUEEZED TO GIVEPASSENGERS IN FIRST AND

BUSINESS CLASS MORE ROOM.

NOW IT MIGHT SEEM UNFAIR,BUT THIS IS THE NATURAL

ORDER OF THINGS AS EXPLAINEDBY THIS REPRESENTATIVE FROM

UNITED AIRLINES.

>> I BELONG TO THE FRONT.

YOU BELONG TO THE TAIL.

KEEP YOUR PLACE.

>> Stephen: AND NO, YOU MAYNOT HAVE A WHOLE CAN OF

APPLE JUICE.

I SAY THAT AIRLINES HAVE TODO MORE TO TURN COACH

CONFLICTS INTO ENTERTAINMENTFOR US WEALTHY FLYERS.

WHY ARE WE NOT GETTING ALIVE FEED OF THESE AISLE

FIGHTS FOR OUR PERSONALPLASMA SCREENS?

FORGET THAT DINKY KNEEDEFENDER, LET'S STRAP SOME

RAZORS ON THOSE ELBOWS ANDWAGER ON THESE PEOPLE LIKE

THEY FROM GAME-COCKS, MYMONEY IS ON THE GUY IN 16 A.

SOMEBODY PUT THEIR BAG IN HISOVERHEAD BIN, HE HAS

THE LOOK OF A KILLER.

THEY CAN PACK MORE PEOPLEBACK THERE.

A SAW A REVOLUTIONARY NEWSEATING DESIGN.

NOT ONLY YOU CAN PACK TWICEAS MANY PEOPLE INTO COACH,

YOU CAN FILL THE CARGO HOLDWITH SPICES AND MOLASSES TO

BRING BACK FROM THE COLONIS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> HEY, WELL COME BACK,

EVERYBODY, MY GUEST TONIGHTIS A GIVES SCIENTIFIC

ANSWERS TO HYPOTHETICALQUESTIONS, PLEASE WELCOME

RANDALL MUNROE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HEY, MR. MUNROE, THANK YOU

SO MUCH FOR COMING ON.

>> THANK YOU.

>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> NOW FOR THOSE OF YOU WHOMAY NOT KNOW MR. MUNROE HERE,

YOU ARE THE HUGO AWARD-WINNINGCREATOR OF XKCD

OKAY.

THAT IS A-- ALL THE HIP KIDSKNOW IT'S A STICK-FIGURE COMIC

STRIP READ BY MILLIONS OFPEOPLE EVERY WEEK.

LET'S SETTLE THE FIRSTTHING.

WHY IS IT CALLED XKCD

>> I KEPT PICKING DIFFERENTNAMES BASED ON WHAT I WAS

INTERESTED IN THINGS TO SETUP AN INTERNET ACCOUNT.

I GOT TIRED OF BEINGSKYWALKER 4 AND EVENTUALLY

WANTED TO PICK SOMETHINGTHAT HAD NO MEANING AT ALL

SO I WOULDN'T GET TIRED OFIT.

>> Stephen: BUT NOW IT MEANSYOU.

NOW XKCD MEANS YOU.

>> YEAH, I SORT OF RUINEDTHAT.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: OKAY.

THE STYLE OF YOUR STRIP ISONE OF THE SAME TIME VERY

BASIC BUT ALSO VERY UNIQUE.

LET'S SHOW THEM EXAMPLE OFYOUR SELF PORTRAIT.

(LAUGHTER)ALL RIGHT.

WHAT, WHY?

>> IS THIS THE BEST YOU CANDRAW OR DO YOU JUST NOT WANT

TO WASTE TIME ON IT?

>> DRAWING IS REALLY HARD.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND BUT YOU HAVECHOSEN TO DO IT FOR A

LIVING.

NOW YOU DO EXTRAORDINARYTHINGS WITH THIS STRIP.

AND YOU HAVE TAKEN THATEXTRAORDINARY THING AND MADE

IT INTO A BOOK NOW.

IT'S CALLED WHAT IF SERIOUSSCIENTIFIC ANSWERS TO ABSURD

HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS THE SORT OF THINGYOU WILL SOMETIMES DO IN THE

STRIP.

YOU WILL EXPLAIN SOMETHINGCOMPLICATED WITH YOUR

DRAWINGS.

AND IN THE SIMPLIST POSSIBLESCIENTIFIC MATHEMATICAL OR

PHILOSOPHICAL WAY.

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGSYOU'RE TRYING TO EXPLAIN IN

THIS BOOK?

>> ONE OF THE FIRSTQUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK IS WHAT

WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU TRY TOHIT A BASEBALL PITCHED AT

90% OF THE SPEED OF LIGHT.

>> WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?

>> A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENS.

IT HAPPENS REALLY QUICKLY.

AND NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE GETOUT ALIVE.

>> Stephen: LIKE THERE'S AFIREBALL THAT INCINERATES

THE PITCHER, RIGHT.

>> YEAH, THE BALL FUSES WITHTHE AIR IN FRONT OF IT.

AND YOU GET A SHELL OFX-RAYS THAT SWEEPS OUT AND

IT STARTS DISINTEGRATING THEBATTER AND THE CATCHER AND

ALSO THE PITCHER.

THE PITCHER IS THE FIRST TOGO.

AND A LOT OF THE EXAMPLESYOU HAVE IN THIS BOOKS END

UP WITH PEOPLE, PLACES ORPLANETS BEING DESTROYED.

WHY DO THOSE, WHY ARE THOSETHE KIND OF QUESTIONS THAT

APPEAL TO YOU MOST?

>> I DON'T REALLY KNOW.

PEOPLE SEEM TO LIKE TO ASKQUESTIONS THAT WOULD HAVE

THAT AS A CONSEQUENCE.

BUT I FEEL LIKE WE SPENT ALOT OF TIME MILLIONS OF

HOURS COLLECTIVELY WATCHINGGIFS OF PEOPLE WALKING INTO

SCREEN DOORS AND FALLING OFFOF THINGS.

SO IT SEEMS LIKE NOT ASURPRISE THAT PEOPLE WOULD

WANT TO SEE AN ENTIRE PLANETCRASH INTO SOMETHING OR BLOW

UP.

>> WE ACTUALLY HIT YOU WITH ACOUPLE QUESTIONS BEFOREHAND

HERE.

I WONDER IF YOU HAVE HAD AMOMENT TO THINK ABOUT THESE.

TAKE A STAB.

THESE ARE SOME THAT WE POSEDTO YOU BEFORE YOU CAME HERE

TONIGHT.

HOW MUCH DOES CANADA WEIGH?

(LAUGHTER)

>> SO AND WE'RE TALKING ALLTHE WAY DOWN TO THE CORE OR

JUST-- .

>> Stephen: JUST THE CANADAPART.

>> JUST THE SURFACE PART.

>> Stephen: INHABITABLEMANTLE.

>> IF YOU TAKE A SLICETHAT'S THE WHOLE THING, IT

WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE 10TO THE 23rd KILOGRAM.

THE WHOLE RERT IS SOMETHINGTO THE 24th.

>> Stephen: I WAS VERYCLOSE.

I HAD 10 TO THE 22nd.

>> YEAH, BUT-- .

>> Stephen: RIGHT THERE,OKAY.

>> BUT.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT,THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH.

I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN TOEDUCATE US.

BUT COULD YOU INCIDENTALLYTHROUGH HUMOR AND THROUGH

YOUR DRAWING, COULD YOUINCIDENTALLY EDUCATE LIKE

KIDS ABOUT SCIENCE ANDMATH?

>> YEAH, WELL THAT'SACTUALLY HOW I GOT STARTED

DOING THIS WAS I TAUGHT ACLASS AT MIT FOR A WEEKEND

AND THEY HAVE A PROGRAMWHERE YOU CAN COME IN AND

TEACH A BUNCH OF HIGH-SCHOOLSTUDENTS ON ANY SUBJECT

YOU'RE INTERESTED IN.

THERE'S NO LIKE CHECKINGCREDENTIALS OR ANYTHING.

AND SO -- .

>> Stephen: REALLY, AND THEYJUST TRUST HIGH SCHOOL AGED

CHILDREN WITH MEN WHO COMEIN WITH NO CREDENTIALS.

>> YEAH, I HAD A COUPLEFRIENDS TEACHING CLASS, ONE

DOING OPERATING SYSTEMDESIGN, ANOTHER ROOT BEER

TASTING.

AND I SAID I WILL TEACH ACLASS ON THE PHYSICS OF

ENERGY.

BECAUSE THAT WAS SOMETHING IHAD BEEN STUDYING AND

THINKING ABOUT A LOT AT THATTIME.

AND SO I DID, AND I HADNEVER DONE A LECTURE BEFORE.

SO I STARTED WALKING THESEKIDS THROUGH, YOU KNOW, ALL

OF THE EQUATIONS I LEARNED.

I TRIED TO MAKE ITINTERESTING, BUT LIKE BY THE

FIRST HOUR I COULD TELL THEYWEREN'T REALLY, THEY WEREN'T

REALLY WITH ME.

I RECOGNIZED THE BOREDEXPRESSIONS, BECAUSE I'VE

BEEN THAT STUDENT SO MANYTIMES.

SO I PULLED OUT AN EXAMPLE

AND STARTED ANALYZING STARTREK.

(LAUGHTER)SO I STARTED-- I STARTED

ANALYZING SCIENCE FICTIONSCENES.

SOW I SAID YODA WHEN HEPULLS THE XWING OUT OF THE SWAMP

IN THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK,YOU KNOW, THERE'S A CERTAIN

AMOUNT OF ENERGY BEING USEDTHERE.

>> Stephen: NO, A CERTAINAMOUNT OF FORCE IS BEING

USED THERE, I HATE TOCORRECT YOU.

>> RIGHT, WELL-- .

>> Stephen: RANDALL, THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: RANDALL MONROE,THE BOOK IS WHAT IF.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

THAT'S IT FOR THE REPORT,EVERBODY, GOOD NIGHT.