How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back

  • Season 2, Ep 11
  • 01/08/2008

Hermes is forced to take a vacation while a female bureaucrat replaces him.

I'VE BEEN REVIEWINGYOUR CORPORATE RECORDS.

REGARDING LASTMONDAY'S DELIVERY,

WHY DID IT TAKE TWICEAS LONG AS SCHEDULED?

FRY GOT HIS HEADSTUCK IN A CRATER.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD FIT.

AND DURING THIS PERIODOF HEAD-CRATER INTERACTION,

WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

MARTINI DRINKING CONTESTWITH THE AUTOPILOT.

I WOULD HAVE HAD HIM THIS TIME,BUT WE RAN OUT OF OLIVES.

I CAN EXPLAIN.

YOU REALLY THINKYOU CAN EXPLAIN

HOW YOU LEFT PORT WITHOUT AFULL COMPLEMENT OF OLIVES?

I THINK NOT.

WHAT IS THIS, HIGH SCHOOL?

LOCKER CHECK.

WHY ISN'T THIS JACKETIN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?

WHAT?

THE ZIPPER--

IT SHOULD BE AT THE BOTTOM.

HEY, SOMETIMESA GUY GETS LONELY.

( insects buzzing )

I-I'VE NEVER SEEN

ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

WHY IS THERE YOGURTIN THIS CAP?

I CAN EXPLAIN THAT.

SEE, IT USED TO BE MILK,

AND, WELL, TIME MAKES FOOLSOF US ALL.

YOU ARE ALL DISMISSED.

FRY, I WILL SPEAKTO YOU ALONE.

( gasps )

( beeping )

UH, WAIT.THIS IS THE OTHER FRY'S LOCKER.

I'M FRY WITH A P-H.

ADMIT IT, FRY,YOU'RE A SLOB.

A DIRTY, FILTHY SLOB.

DIRTY BOY!DIRTY, DIRTY, DIRTY!

WHAT THE HELL'SGOING ON?

I THOUGHT YOU WEREANTI-DIRTY, NOT PRO-DIRTY.

I'M SURROUNDED BYNEAT FREAKS EVERY DAY.

THERE'S NOTHING KINKIERTO ME THAN A FILTHYSLOP JOCK LIKE YOU.

OH, STOP.

( both moaning )

NOW LISTEN,YOU FILTHY PIG,

NO ONE CAN KNOWABOUT US.

IF ANYONE ASKS,I'LL DENY IT.

JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER GIRLI'VE DATED.

( pulsing beat )

( calypso music playing )

♪ WHEN I WAS FOUR THERE WASA HURRICANE IN KINGSTON TOWN ♪

♪ WITH A FOOT AND A HALFOF WATER ♪

♪ EVERYONE WAS ALL RIGHT,BUT I CRIED ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ IT BLEW MY ALPHABET BLOCKSOUT OF ORDER ♪

♪ AND THEY SAID THIS BOY'S BORNTO BE A BUREAUCRAT ♪

♪ BORN TO BE ALL OBSESSIVEAND SNOTTY ♪

♪ I MADE MY FRIENDSAND RELATIONS ♪

♪ FILE LONG APPLICATIONS ♪

♪ TO GET INTOMY TENTH BIRTHDAY PARTY ♪

♪ BUT SOMETHING CHANGEDWHEN MY MAN TURNED PRO ♪

♪ I WAS SORTINGBUT I WASN'T SMILING ♪

♪ HE FORGOT THAT IT'S NOTABOUT BADGES AND RANKS ♪

♪ IT'S SUPPOSED TO BEABOUT THE FILING ♪

♪ PEOPLE ♪

♪ WE DIDN'T CHOOSETO BE BUREAUCRATS ♪

♪ NO, THAT'S WHATALMIGHTY JAH MADE US ♪

♪ WE'D TREAT PEOPLE LIKE SWINEAND MAKE 'EM STAND IN LINE ♪

♪ EVEN IF NOBODY PAID US ♪

♪ THEY SAY THE WORLD LOOKSDOWN ON THE BUREAUCRATS ♪

♪ THEY SAY WE'RE ANAL,COMPULSIVE AND WEIRD ♪

♪ BUT WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE,YOU'VE GOT TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE ♪

♪ EVEN IF IT'SNOT A GOOD IDEA ♪

ZOIDBERG!

♪ THEY SAID I PROBABLYSHOULDN'T BE A SURGEON ♪

♪ THEY POO-POOEDMY ELECTRIC FRANKFURTER ♪

♪ THEY SAID I PROBABLY SHOULDN'TFLY WITH JUST ONE EYE ♪

♪ I AM BENDER ♪

♪ PLEASE INSERT GIRDER ♪

♪ EVERYBODY SING JAMAICA ♪

♪ JAMAICA ♪

♪ JUST THE BUREAUCRATS,JAMAICA ♪

♪ JAMAICA ♪

♪ JUST THE GRADE 19s ♪

JAMAICA.♪ SING ME HOME ♪

♪ WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVEYOU'VE GOT TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE ♪

♪ EVEN IF IT'SNOT A GOOD IDEA. ♪

I'M BENDER, BABY!

PLEASE INSERT LIQUOR!

( cheering )CONGRATULATIONS.

WAY TO GO.

CONGRATULATIONSINDEED.