Flip Cup Twins

  • Season 2, Ep 9
  • 10/31/2014

Adam and his twin brother, Jerome, attempt to break a world record and introduce stand-up from Sabrina Jalees, Nick Rutherford and Jesus Trejo.

MM.

- ADAM, WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?

- OH, NO.

I'M--I'M NOT ADAM.

I AM JEROME,

HIS IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER.

- YOU LOOK EXACTLY LIKE ADAM.

- [German accent]I AM ACTUALLY FROM GERMANY.

JA,YOU CAN TELL BY THE ACCENT.

- SO YOU'RE GERMAN NOW?- WHY, HELLO.

ADAM DID NOT STATE THAT HE HADSUCH A BEAUTIFUL COMEDIAN HERE.

I WOULDN'T MIND HAVING SEXUALINTERCOURSE WITH YOU TONIGHT.

USING PROPHYLACTICS,OR NOT.

- UH,

THAT SOUNDS LIKEA HORRIBLE OFFER, ADAM.

- I AM NOT THIS "ADAM."I AM HIS BROTHER.

OBVIOUSLY,YOU COULD TELL THAT

FROM THIS ACCENT.

AL-WEIDERSEHEN.

- AUF WEIDERSEHEN.

- HE'S GOT, LIKE,LEGIT PROBLEMS, RIGHT?

- MM!

[normal voice]WHAT'S UP, GUYS?

THANK YOU SO MUCHFOR COMING TO THE PARTY.

- WHY IS YOUR SHIRT OFF?

- THE A-TRAIN RUNS HOT.I AM A SWEATER.

- IS THIS, LIKE, SOME DUMBNEW BIT THAT YOU'RE DOING?

- THIS IS A CLASSIC BITTHAT I DO.

I'M KNOWN FOR MY MUSCLES.

MY PERFECT AMOUNT OF MUSCLESAND FLAB.

- NO, PRETENDING YOU HAVEAN IDENTICAL TWIN

FOR NO REAL REASON.

- I DO HAVE AN IDENTICAL TWIN.

DID YOU GUYS MEET HIM?

HE'S A COOL DUDE, RIGHT?

SABRINA,YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL

BECAUSE HE IS A SEXUAL DEVIANTAND A FREAK.

I MEAN, LIKE, GOOD AT SEX TOO.

LIKE GOOOOOD AT SEX.

HE WILL PROBABLYWANT TO MOUNT YOU.

- I'M 100% NOT INTERESTED.

- OKAY, WELL,I UNDERSTAND THAT,

BUT YOU BETTER TAKE THAT UPWITH JEROME.

- WHY?- HAVE A GREAT SET, GUYS.

WHOO!

- I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT.

- IS THERE, LIKE, AN H.R.DEPARTMENT HERE OR SOMETHING?

[cheers and applause]

YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST AGE IS?

BEING A TWEEN.THAT'S HORRIBLE.

I SAW THIS 12-YEAR-OLDON THE SUBWAY THE OTHER DAY,

FREAKING OUT OVER NOTHING.

HE'S LIKE,I'M IN LOVE WITH VANESSA,

AND SHE WON'T EVEN, LIKE,SIT BESIDE ME AT LUNCH.

I WANTED TO WALK UP TO THISPOOR, LIKE, LITTLE BOY

AND BE LIKE, HONEY, RELAX.

YOU HAVE NOTHINGTO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU'RE 100% GAY.

YES.

YES.

I WISH I KNEW I WAS GAYWHEN I WAS 12.

OH!

DO YOU KNOW HOW [bleep] AMAZINGSLEEPOVERS WOULD HAVE BEEN?

TRUTH OR DARE?

UH, DARE.

YEAH, SAME DARE AS LAST WEEK.

SHOW ME YOUR TITTIES, EVERYONE.YES.

YEAH, BRING YOUR MOM DOWN HERE.LET'S PLAY THIS GAME.

IT IS LADIES NIGHT.

EVEN IF THEY PICKED TRUTH,I'D BE LIKE, TRUTH?

HOW Y'ALL FEEL ABOUTSHOWING ME YOUR TITTIES?

I HAD A HARD TIMECOMING OUT TO MY DAD

I ACTUALLY HAD SKYPESEX RECENTLY.

IF YOU GUYS KNOWWHAT SKYPE SEX IS--

[scattered cheers]

ALL RIGHT, A LITTLE TOO EXCITEDABOUT IT BACK THERE.

SKYPE SEX, IF YOU DON'T KNOWWHAT IT IS,

IT'S WHEN YOU'RE WHACKING OFF

AND YOU'RE WATCHING YOUR PARTNERWHACK OFF

THROUGH A LIVE VIDEO FEED,

AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

ANYWAY, I WAS WATCHINGMY GIRLFRIEND PLEASURE HERSELF,

AND I WAS JUST THINKING,OH, MY GOD.

THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING THINGTO WITNESS, YOU KNOW?

JUST THE WAY HER BODY WOULD,LIKE, CONTORT AROUND.

YOU KNOW, LIKE, HAIR WOULD,LIKE, FALL OFF HER FACE.

IT WAS LIKE WATCHING,LIKE, AN ANGEL

PLAYING A TINY LITTLEHARP...

AND THEN MY EYES PANNED DOWNTO THAT LITTLE VIDEO THUMBNAIL

IN THE CORNER....

OF WHAT I'M TRANSMITTING,

AND WHAT I SAWWAS A MOVIE

OF A MONSTER

ATTACKING HIMSELF.

JUST THIS CURLED OVERHALF-ORANGUTAN, HALF-BEAST MAN

JUST...

[shouting wildly]

JUST SO ANGRY FOR NO REASON.

[shouts wildly]

AND SCARED TOO.LIKE...

'CAUSE I GOT ROOMMATES,YOU KNOW?

SO TERRIFYING.

THE WORST THING YOU COULD EVERSEND TO SOMEBODY

"THE HELL IS THAT?"

I'M WEIRD. I GET IT.I LOOK LIKE THIS. YOU KNOW?

I DIDN'T PICK THIS FACE, BRO.

I'M WEIRD, MAN.

I THINK I WAS BORN WITHA HANDICAP, 'CAUSE I'M MEXICAN,

BUT I'M A ONLY CHILD.

THINK ABOUT THATFOR A LITTLE BIT, GUYS.

I WAS ON RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

TWICE.THEY KEEP BRINGING ME BACK.

I HATE BEING AN ONLY CHILD.

IT'S LIKE,HOW AM I A ONLY CHILD

AND I STILL HAD HAND-ME-DOWNS?

IT'S HARD TO PICK UP GIRLSIN YOUR MOM'S BLOUSE

IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.

LIKE, I NEED IT BACK.DON'T STRETCH IT.

IF YOU KNOW A ONLY CHILD, DON'TEVERY GIVE THEM A BOARD GAME.

THAT'S THE WORST THINGYOU CAN GIVE THEM.

LIKE, ONE YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS,MY UNCLE GAVE ME MONOPOLY.

IT'S LIKE, REALLY?I NEED MORE PLAYERS, MAN.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

SUCKS BEING AN ONLY CHILD.

LIKE, MY MOM,SHE COMES FROM A BIG FAMILY.

MY GRANDMOTHER HAD 21 KIDS.

YEAH, SOMEBODY SAID,"JESUS."

THAT'S ONE OF THEIR NAMES,ACTUALLY.

21 KIDS BY THE SAME DAD.DOUBLE-DOWN, YOU KNOW?

THAT'S CRAZY, MAN.

LIKE, I THINK MY GRANDMA GOT TOTHE POINT WHERE SHE WAS POPPING

KIDS OUT LIKE T-SHIRTSAT BASKETBALL GAMES.

LIKE...[popping noises]

I ASKED MY GRANDMA, SAID,WHAT MADE YOU STOP AT 21?

YOU COULD HAVE KEPT GOING.

AND SHE'S LIKE,WELL, NOBODY HITS ON 21.

THAT'S BLACKJACK.

LIKE, ADORABLE, GRANDMA.

- YES! LET'S GO!ALL RIGHT!

TOOK OUR RECORD, BABY.

- HEY, ADAM.- WHAT'S UP?

OW!

- WHERE'S YOUR TWIN BROTHER NOW,YOU DICK?

- [German accent]OH, I'M RIGHT HERE.

OH, OOFY DOOFY TWIN MOMENT.

MY EYEBALL HURTS SO BAD.

- UH, CHECK, PLEASE.

- IS THAT MY TWIN BROTHERJEROME?

- [German accent]YOU KNOW WHAT?

LET'S FINISH THIS...

both: TOGETHER.

- WORLD RECORD.- BROTHERS.

YEAH!- YES!

- [Italian accent]HEY-A, THE PIZZA'S HERE-A.

- AH.

- OH, THESE GUYS ARE HUNGRY,HUH?

- IT'S MY SECOND TWIN.

- JA. SUPER!

- UH, CHECK, PLEASE.

- IT'S MY TWO TWIN BROTHERS!

THAT'S WHY MY EYE HURT-A.

- OH, BROTHER!

- I THOUGHT I HAD LOST YOU.

BROTHER.- OH, MY TWO TWIN BROTHERS.

- BROTHER.- BROTHER.

- YOU WANT A HAM SANDWICH?