Thursday, March 6, 2014

  • 03/06/2014

Will Ferrell stops by to judge animal cuteness with Rob Huebel, Michaela Watkins and Doug Benson before the comedians take on bro pics and Groupon.

>> RIPPED FROM TODAY'S INTERNET

HEADLINES, IT IS RAPID REFRESH!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: SUPPORTING @MIDNIGHT

THE SHOW IS DOING VERY WELL,THANKS TO YOU GUYS, WE

APPRECIATE IT, AND WHEN ANETWORK SAYS WE ARE DOING WELL

--[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Chris: AND WHEN A SHOW DOESREALLY WELL IT CAN LEAD TO A

SPIN-OFF AND TONIGHT I AM VERYEXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THIS IS BIG

NEWS THAT @MIDNIGHT WILL NOWHAVE A SPIN-OFF OF ITS OWN, WE

FEEL LIKE WE HAVE BEEN KIND OFOWNING LATE NIGHT SO WE DECIDED

WHY NOT BRANCH OFF INTO DAYTIME,SO THIS IS A DAYTIME SHOW

PREMIERING NEXT MONDAY AT NOONON THE O NETWORK.

CALLED AT MIDDAY AND I AMEXTREMELY PROUD TO INTRODUCE ITS

HOST CHAD SOFTWARE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: HOW ARE YOU? I AM

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: HOW ARE YOU? I AM

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: HOW ARE YOU? I AM

SO EXCITED ABOUT AT MIDDAY, THESTAFF, WE HAVE BEEN TALKING

ABOUT IT.

>> YES.

>> Chris: BUT TO LET EVERYONEKNOW CAN YOU TELL US A LITTLE

BIT ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT.

>> AT MIDDAY WILL BE A LOT LIKE@MIDNIGHT, BUT WITH A TWIST, WE

DON'T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE, ANDEVERYTHING WE DO WILL HAVE AN

INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGE.

>> Chris: OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

>> I LIKE THAT.

>>ON THAT NOTE, CAN ISAY THAT EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN

HERE IS A HERO.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> JUST FOR GETTING OUT OF BED

AND TAKING THE DAY ON!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: THIS IS VERY SWEET,

CHAD.

WOULD YOU MIND GIVING US ALITTLE PREVIEW GAME.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Chris: I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAYTHIS GAME.

>> AND I LIKE HEARING THAT.

>> Chris: THIS IS THE GUY WHOHAS NEVER OFFENDED AN EGG.

>> THERE IS ALWAYS A FRESH STARTFOR EVERYONE.

>> BEFORE THAT, THOUGH I JUSTWANT TO SAY TO THE COMEDIANS I

DON'T KNOW WHO ANY OF YOU ARE.

BUT I CONSIDER YOU DEAR, DEARFRIENDS.

I LOVE YOU.

>> OKAY.

IT IS TIME FOR A GAME CALLEDCUTE OR TOO CUTE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU A

PICTURE AND THE COMEDIANS WILLHAVE TO TELL ME IF THE PICTURE

IS CUTE OR TOO CUTE.

AND REMEMBER THERE ARE NO WRONGANSWERS.

>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF THEGAME REALLY WORKS THEN IF THERE

ARE NOT WRONG ANSWERS.

>> I GUESS WE WILL JUST HAVE TOAGREE TO DISAGREE ABOUT THAT.

>> OKAY.

HERE IS A PUP IN A CUP!

>> CUTE OR TOO CUTE?

>> MEOW.

>> I THINK THAT WAS DOUG.

>> TOO CUTE!

>> POINTS! POINTS!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: WHAT ARE HOIMTS.

>> WE THOUGHT POINTS WAS ALITTLE NEGATIVE BECAUSE IT IS

RUDE TO POINT AT PEOPLE, SO WECAME UP WITH HOINTS BUT COMBINES

THE WORD HUGS WITH POINTS.

>> Chris:.

>> YOU DESERVE SOME POINTS,CHRIS.

>> Chris: OH, THANK YOU FOR MYHOINTS.

>> HOW ABOUT A KITTEN IN THISLITTLE MITT ROMNEY TEN?

>> MITTEN?

>> ACTUALLY, PASS.

I DON'T -->> MCKAY LA.

>> I AM GOING TO GO WITH TOOCUTE.

BUT NOT IN A GOOD WAY.

>> HOINTS!

>> HOINTS FOR MACAY LA.

>> HOW ABOUT SEVEN PUPPIES ON A--

>> DOUG.

>> CUTE.

>> I WAS GOING TO SAY THEOPPOSITE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

HOINTS!

>> Chris: AND THAT IS THE ENDOF THE GAME, EVERYONE GETS AN

EXTRA 1,000 POINTS AND THREEHUGS EACH!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> THANK YOU.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> THANK YOU.

>> Chris: WONDERFUL.

>> COME ON, HUG EACH OTHER.

GO AHEAD.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> THAT'S NICE.

I MEAN, THIS IS FUN.

>> Chris: AT LEAST IT ISINTERESTING.

IT IS A DIFFERENT TAKE.

I AM NOT QUITE SURE IT IS FOROUR AUDIENCE.

>> OH, IT IS FOR EVERYONE.

>> Chris: WELL, NO, I AM JUSTSAYING OUR AUDIENCE IS A LITTLE,

HAS A LITTLE MORE OF AN EDGE TOIT.

>> HOW DARE YOU! I WILL SHOWYOU AN EDGE OF MY BELT! I AM

GOING TO WHOOP YOU BUY!

>> BOY!

>> THAT'S HOW I REALLY TALK!

>> Chris: FRIGHTENING.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKEWORKING FOR THE O NETWORK?

>> Chris: NO.

>> OPRAH IS ONE TOUGH SON OF ABITCH!

>> GETS YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME.

SOME NERD HIPSTER TELLING MEWHAT IS WHAT, I DON'T GO FOR

THAT.

I HAVE BEEN TO N A.M.

>> YOU LOOK WAY TOO YOUNG.

>> I WAS, I WAS WAY TOO YOUNG.

>> I WAS 11.

>> Chris: WASN'T THAT CUTE.

>> SAW SOME (BLEEP) THERE IWOULDN'T WISH ON MY GREATEST

ENEMY.

>> ANYWAY, CHECK OUT AT MIDDAY.

MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY, AT NOONON THE O NETWORK.

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT.

>> NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> I AM OUT OF HERE.

>> Chris: THANK YOU.

>> Chris: HASHTAG WARS!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> EMPIRE IS IN THE THEATRE THIS

WEEKEND AND IT IS FULL OF ALL OFTHE EROTIC SHIRTLESS FUN LIKE IN

THE FIRST MOVIE.

SO TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS EROTICHISTORY, LIKE BOSTON KEY PARTY

OR THE TROJAN HORSE RIPPED FORHER PLEASURE.

I WILL PUT 60-SECONDS ON THECLOCK STARTING NOW.

AND GO.

DOUG BENSON.

>> WORLD WAR II GIRLS ONE CUP.

>> Chris: POINTS.

ROB.

>> ONE SMALL STEP ON MY BALLSFOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP ON MY

BALLS FOR MANKIND.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: MCKAY LA.

>> MONEYSHOT HEARD AROUND THEWORLD.

>> TIENENMAN ON MAN SQUARE.

>> ARE THEY FORMING A SQUARE.

>> Chris: DEFINITELY POINTS.

DOUG BENSON.

>> BAY OF SQUEAL LIKE A PIG.

>> Chris: POINTS.

MICHAELA.

>> THE BRITISH ARE COMING ON MYNICE CURTAINS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: WAIT A MINUTE.

NOT THE NICE CURTAINS!

>> THE NICE CURTAINS.

>> Chris: DAMN YOU BRITISH! POINTS.

FRAT LIFE! HASHTAG

>> I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU BROSSOME WROTE BROS THAT ARE SO BROD

OUT FROM BRO STA GRAM.

>> THEY USED THE HASHTAG FRATLIFE.

YOU HAVE TO BUZZ IN IN WITH AMORE APPROPRIATE HASHTAG AND I

GIVE YOU 250 POINTS.

LET'S START WITH THESE 30 LESSDUDES.

JUST YELL IT OUT, YES, ROBHUEBEL.

>> HASHTAG ORANGE IS THE NEWWHACK.

>> Chris: POINTS!

>> HASHTAG I WAS DRINKING TEA.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> THEY ARE DRINKING PEE.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

>> HASHTAG JUST MARRIED!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: ON THEIR HONEYMOON.

NEXT THIS UNLIKELY THREE SOME.

>> HASHTAG ASIAN GUYS AREHILARIOUS.

>> NO POINTS FROM THE CROWD,REALLY.

>> OH.

>> THAT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE ALLASIAN.

LOOK AT THEM!

>> OF COURSE!

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT, POINTSFOR ROB HUEBEL FOR ATTACKING THE

AUDIENCE FOR BEING ASIAN.

UNBOXING DAY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> I AM SURE YOU GUYS KNOW

BOXING VIDEOS ARE VIDEOS WHERETHEY FILM THEMSELVES OPENING UP

ITEMS THEY OPENED UP, THEY GOTONLINE AND IT IS FUN YOU GET TO

SMELL THE NEWNESS OF THE ITEM,EXPERIENCE IT AND SAVE IT ON

VIDEO FOREVER SO WE ARE GOING TOSHOW YOU THE START OF ONE OF

THESE VIDEOS AND YOU HAVE TOGUESS WHAT KIND OF PRODUCT IS

BEING UNBOXED, ALL RIGHT? LET'SSTART.

THESE TWO FELLOWS HANGING ON THECOUCH JUST UNBOXING STUFF.

>> WHY THE (BLEEP) DO YOU THINKI HAVE -- I THINK YOU ARE GOING

TO CUT SOMETHING OPEN.

>> MAYBE HE IS GOING TO UNBOXTHAT GUY'S HEART.

>> BUT ARE THEY UNBOX AGO WWEWRESTLE MANIA ACTION FIGURES

OR A LIVE SNAKE?

>> ROB.

>> I HOPE IT IS A LIVE SNAKE.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> BRADY RIGHT HERE I HAVE THEWRESTLE MANIA XXX, OR SHOULD I

SAY, WOW.

>> SORRY, ROB, NO POINTS.

>> WHAT IS -- I HATE THOSE GUYS.

>> HE TOOK A THING OUT OF A BOXTHAT HE IS NEVER GOING TO TAKE

OUT OF A BOX.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> HOW BIG WAS THAT? THAT GUY

IS NEVER GOING TO GO INTO A BOXEITHER.

>> HOW ABOUT THIS, ANOTHER KNIFEWIELDING GUY.

♪>> THERE IS THE BIG BOX.

>> Chris: IS HE UNBOXING AFURY SUIT OR A SEX FROM THE CITY

SEX DOLL?

>> CAN I SAY THAT EITHER WAY WEWIN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> I CAN I SAY WHAT IS THE

DIFFERENCE?

>> Chris: 100 POINTS FOR THAT,ROB.

DOUG BENSON, WHAT DO YOU THINKIT IS, DOUG?

>> I WILL GO WITH, I DON'T THINKYOU OPEN UP A SEX DOLL WITH A

KNIFE.

UNLESS SOMETHING ELSE COMES INIT.

SO -- POINTS, POINTS, POINTS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> I MIRANDA KIND OF HATES ME.

>> WHY DON'T WE GIVE YOU 100POINTS FOR GOING TO CUT --

>> I AM GOING TO SAY FURRY SUIT.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> OH, MY GOD.

>> WHO IS THE DJ IN THAT LIVINGROOM?

>> IT GOES WITH THE CARPET SO HECAN JUST SURPRISE SOMEONE WHEN

THEY COME IN.

>> I HAVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLETIME!

>> YOU (BLEEP), WHERE DID YOUCOME FROM?

>> I WAS HERE.

THE WHOLE TIME.

>> I DIDN'T SEE YOU.

YOU WERE DISAPPEARING INTO THEFLOOR!

>> NEW GROUPONS.

>> YOU CAN GET COUPONS TOFIVE-STAR RESTAURANTS TO

DISCOUNT BOTOX AND LIPOSUCTIONSO I WANT YOU TO COME UP WITH

GROUP-ONS'S MORE RIDICULOUS.

60 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, GO.

>> 50 PERCENT OFF BIKINI WAX ATSUPER CUTS.

>> Chris: POINTS.

MICHAELA.

>> 30 PERCENT OFF CHEESECAKEFACTORY, NOT THE RESTAURANT, THE

ACTUAL FACTORY AND ALSO HELP, WEARE SEVEN YEARS OLD.

>> Chris: POINTS.

DOUG.

>> YOU WILL HAVE FUN HANGING OUTNEAR A DUMPSTER.

>>>> Chris: THAT IS WHAT YOU DO

AFTER EVERY SHOW.

POINTS.

ROB HUEBEL.

>> BUY ONE ROLLERBLADE, WE'LLGIVE YOU THE SECOND ONE IF YOU

CAN FIND IT.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> TEN PERCENT OFF YOURCOLLECTIVE (BLEEP).

>> Chris: PLEASE TELL ME IHEARD YOU CORRECTLY AND YOU SAID

COLLECTIVE (BLEEP).

>> MAYBE.

>> Chris: POINTS! ROB HUEBEL.

>> TWO FOR ONE SLEEP OVER ATTODD'S HOUSE.

>> IT DOESN'T MATTER.

ANY TIME.

>> Chris: POINTS.

DOUG.

>> UFOS, HANG OUT WITH ROBHUEBEL WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT THE

TIME HE HUNG OUT WITH GEORGECLOONEY.

>> Chris: IS THAT TRUE?

>> YEAH.

AND I HAVE GOTTEN ZERO TAKERS SOFAR.

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