March 23, 2016 - Brussels Attack & Donald Trump vs. Ted Cruz

  • 03/23/2016

The terrorist attacks in Brussels spark a debate about Muslims in the U.S., and Larry weighs Ted Cruz against Donald Trump with Anthony Hamilton, Mike Yard and Robin Thede.

Oh, my, look at the crowd.

Oh, thank you very much.Thank you, please...

please have a seat, please.

Thank you so much.You're too kind.

Such a great audience.Welcome to The Nightly Show.

I'm Larry Wilmore.Thanks. Uh, hey, guys,

Grammy award-winningsinger-songwriter

Anthony Hamilton'son the show tonight.

I'm very excited about that.Very excited.

So... Man, such a great...

The energy in this crowd today.(grunts)

(cheering)

I know.I love it, I love it.

So, guys, President Obama,uh, just finished up

his trip to Cuba, but firsthe had to answer some questions

about the terrorist attacksin Brussels.

OBAMA: The whole premise of terrorism is to try

to disrupt people's ordinary lives. And as long

as we don't allow that happen,we're gonna be okay.

Could you allow takingyour shades off to happen?

I mean...

I'm just saying it's pretty badoptics, Mr. President, you know?

Uh, kids, come here,I just want to tell you...

your mother died.

All right, okay, fine, fine.

Keep the shades on.Who am I to say?

But, you know, at leasttry not have too much fun.

REPORTER: The sight of Obama and Castro

laughing and doing the wave together.

Really? The wave?

You know,that really was nothing--

by the ninth inning,they both looked like this.

Optics, Mr. President, optics.

Now, Republicans, of course,went back to their favorite

Republican mantra of calling himthe worst president ever

for seeming to treatthis terror attack too lightly.

Which means they convenientlyforgot about this.

I call upon all nationsto do everything they can

to stop these terrorist killers.

Thank you.

Now watch this drive.

Let me tell you something...

Let me tell you something--Stanley, Stanley?

Sad thing is, Stanley,I'd take him over Trump.

I would.

Uh, but the manwho wants to be beat Trump,

Grandpa Munster Cruz, um...

had some harsh wordsabout the attacks.

Today's attacks in Brussels

underscores...that this is a war.

A war with radicalIslamic terrorism.

CHARLIE ROSE: He said, quote...

WOMAN:What the...

Before they become radicalized?

The Muslim community'snot a carton of milk.

I-It doesn't just go bad

when you leave it out.

Do you know anything aboutthe Muslim community, Ted Cruz?

It has raised a lot of civilliberties concerns,

so let me ask you: how manyMuslims are in America?

I-I don't know the numberoff the top of my head.

So, you're sayingthat law enforcement

should surveil a number ofMuslims and you don't even know

how many Muslimsare in America.

There are no Muslimneighborhoods.

It's impractical,what you're suggesting.

Also, it doesn't suggestit would lead to anything.

It's more of a political pointthat you're making.

(cheering, applause)

Damn!

Norah O'Donnelljust declared jihad

against (bleep).

She did.

Okay, so, to recap, uh,

Donald Trumpwants to wall Muslims out

and Ted Cruzwants to fence Muslims in.

Now, here in New York,Mayor Bill de Blasio

and Police CommissionerBill Bratton

responded to Cruz's planwhile referencing

the 900 Muslim membersof the NYPD.

I would remindthe senator he lives

-in the United Statesof America. -Mm-hmm.

And the statements made todayis why he's not gonna become

-president of this country.-Amen.

I have over 900very dedicated officers

in this department,many of whom do double duty.

They serve as active dutymembers of the U.S. military

in combat, somethingthe senator has never seen.

So the senator basically, uh,

-he's really out of linewith his comments. -Amen.

-That's right.-(cheering, applause)

Bratton is absolutelyright here.

He is absolutely right.Wait a second--

Did de Blasio say "amen"?

-He's really out of linewith his comments. -Amen.

What-what, is he beingBratton's hype man or something?

What's going on with...

Oh, I know what that is, Larry.

Oh, my God, oh, it's Robin,Robin Thede, everybody.

(cheering, applause)

So, what's, uh, what's going onwith that-with that "amen"?

Yeah, right? Well, whatthe mayor was doing there

was classic black voteco-signing.

Wait, black vote co-signing?

Yeah, by co-signing withthe "mm-hmms" and "amens",

the mayor was...the mayor was secretly signaling

to black people and-and, in thiscase, all people of color,

telling them it's okayto trust this old white man.

Really? Wait, but you said it'scalled black vote co-signing--

de Blasio's not black.

-But his wife is.-Ah.

And that makes him

black adjacent.

-Oh, okay. So, he's...-Yup.

-Right next to it, yeah.-Next... Oh, okay.

All right, got it,got it, got it.

A-And boy, does it show.I mean, did you hear him

whenever Bratton made a point,

de Blasio was all,"Hallelujah, thank you, Jesus!"

Like he was in church.

So, why does he needto tell people of color

that it's okay to listento this white man?

I-I'm not sureif you've noticed,

but the policeand people of color

haven't always seen eye to eye.

-So, you know...-(applause)

Yeah. Right.

So, all de Blasio's doing isletting them know

that on this issue,

the po-lice is aiight.

He said all thatwith his co-signing?

-Mm-hmm.-Amen.

Robin Thede, everybody.Amen.

All right.Okay.

Now...

So, Ted Cruz, a man not knownto have many friends,

uh, went on Fox and Friends to discuss Islam.

And what's bizarre

is the political correctness

that they will not evensay the words

"radical Islamic terrorism".

Instead, after every attack,after Paris,

after San Bernardino,the president goes on television

and lectures Americans onIslamophobia. Enough is enough.

Well, senator, that's becauseIslam is a peaceful religion.

I-It's... They are so captiveto political correctness

that they will notidentify the enemy...

What was that, sarcasm?

That's because Islamis a peaceful religion.

Yeah. (chuckles)

Go (bleep) yourselves.

Seriously.

I mean, a major news network--

so-called major news network--

and a major presidentialcandidate

slamming a major religion

has nothing to do withpolitical correctness.

It's just wrong.Look, here's the deal.

I think we need somebodyother than Fox to weigh in

on the problemsof radical Islam,

so please welcomeMideast expert Masir Ali.

(cheering, applause)

All right, all right, all right.

All right, thanks, uh,thanks for joining us, Masir.

Any time, Lar-bear.

Okay. Uh, so whatdo you think about

these terror attacks in Belgium?

It's a total buzzkill, bro.

I mean, these terrorist dicks

always make life harder

for Muslims like me.

You mean peaceful,law-abiding...

law-abiding Muslims, right?

No, man, I mean radical Muslims.

All right.All right.

Um...

Wait, so, you'rea radical Muslim?

Duh.(chuckles)

Okay. Wait, so, how didyou become radicalized?

Well, I think it was the daythat my dad took me

to see Tony Hawk at the X Gamesback in, like, '97.

I've been radical ever since.

Okay. So as a radical Muslim,

how do you feel about Ted Cruz'sresponse to the terror attacks?

It's totally harshing my mellow.I mean,

I face enough discriminationwithout politicians saying

they needto "secure my neighborhood."

I mean,what does that even mean?

Dude, my neighborhoodis Park City, okay?

So you don't think policingMuslims will work, right?

No way. Persecuting peoplejust drives them away.

And when people feel angryand alone,

that's when radical Muslimsturn into radical Muslims.

You know what I'm...you know what I mean?

You know what I'm saying?You get me?

-All right. So...-All right.

so instead of policing Muslims,what can we do

to prevent terrorism?What's the idea?

Well, here's a radical idea.

Uh, how 'bout treating themlike, I don't know,

normal human beings?(chuckles) Right?

-Okay.-Right. That is pretty radical.

Masir Ali, everybody!We'll be right back!

-That's pretty radical.-(cheering and applause)

Okay! Welcome back!

Now, we made a promiseon this show not to forget

about the peoplein Flint, Michigan,

and their ongoing water crisis.

So let's check inwith the Larry People vs. Flint.

(dripping)

All right. So...

I don't know.That drip just makes me laugh.

All right. So, good newscame out of Flint last week.

Turns out our hunch that the EPAwas complicit in this

was entirely correct.

Yay...

Here's an e-mail written backin September

by the regional water divisionbranch chief of the EPA.

And I quote:

WILMORE (reading):

(audience groaning)

Are you kidding me?

"Not so sure Flint isthe community we want to go out

on a limb for"?It's not going out on a limb.

It's doing your (bleep) job.

(cheering and applause)

And, hey, by the way, EPA,

by the way, the "P" in your namestands for "protection"

but the "A" does not standfor your "ass," okay?

Flint is preciselythe kind of vulnerable city

the federal governmentshould have been protecting

in the first place.

(cheering and applause)

It shouldn't even takethis long.

And meanwhile, embattledMichigan Governor Rick Snyder

unveiled a 75-point planto tackle Flint.

REPORTER: Short-term goals include plans

to offer professional support for kids under six

who have high lead levels, replace drinking water...

Okay, okay. Just-just stop,stop, stop, stop, stop.

No, no, no. I-I reallydon't need to hear the rest.

I mean, good, good, good.You got a plan going.

Great, guys.But let me just say this.

The crisis startedtwo years ago,

and you knew about itat least a year ago.

And nowyou're at the planning stage?

You don't draw up plans forwhere to place the smoke alarms

a year after the househas burned down!

The... I'm-I'm sorry, guys.I just can't...

-It just makes me so mad-(cheering and applause)

that it takes so long.

That's the thing that gets mewith this Flint crisis,

is why does it take so longfor people to act on this?

I just don't get it, you guys.

Story's not sexy enough, Larry!

Oh, w... Hey!Grace Parra, everyone!

-(cheering and applause)-Hello, hello. Hi. -All right.

Okay, what do you mean the storyis not sexy enough, Grace?

Well, you're talkingabout lead pipes,

infrastructure funding,civil engineering.

If you want peopleto take action

in these United Statesof America,

you got to sex your story up.

Okay, but...

I mean, Grace,how-how do you sex up

something likethe Flint water crisis?

-Oh, I don't know.Well, actually, I do know. -Oh.

Here's a little public serviceannouncement I put together

with my friends.

(sultrily): What's happeningin Flint is just foreplay.

If we're not careful,it's gonna get real, real bad.

(echoing): Real bad.

Across the country,from Washington D.C.

to Sebring, Ohio, up to10 million homes and businesses

are taking it from lead pipe.

So if there's one thingwe've learned from Flint,

-it's that...-We've got to take

Michigan Governor Rick Snyderdown!

-Take him down!-Whoa, whoa, Holly.

I mean... it's that someone'sgot to lay a ton of new pipe.

But we need somebody man enoughto do it.

We need someone to unscrewthe old and screw in the new.

(echoing): Screw.

All night long.

'Cause right now,that Flint water is oh so dirty.

-Too dirty.-(echoing): Too dirty.

Don't you wantto help us get wet?

Don't you? Don't you,

you cost-cutting,poor-hating bastards?!

-Grace!-I'm sorry.

(echoing): Get wet.

THEDE: But water utility budgets across the country

have been tied up or cut down,

leaving us helpless.

And, fellas,I'm just not into that.

(chuckles)

Listen, this needs to bea national conversation.

We all need to come together

at the exact same time.

(echoing): City water.

Please don't make us wait.

Because peoplecould (bleep) die!

-(indistinct arguing) -No, no!They won't listen to anger!

-(sighing)-Okay.

Please, gentlemen, legislate,

regulate,and fund water infrastructure.

Trust us.

ALL:You won't regret it.

The women of The Nightly Show, everyone!

We haven't forgotten you, Flint!

We have not forgotten!We'll be right back!

(cheering and applause)

Okay, welcome back!I'm here with my panel!

First up, Nightly Show Contributor Mike Yard.

(cheering and applause)

And Nightly Show ContributorRobin Thede.

-(cheering and applause)-Hi!

And he's a Grammy Award-winningR & B singer,

songwriter, and producer.His new album What I'm Feelin'

drops on Friday, you guys. Anthony Hamilton.

-(cheering and applause)-Yes.

And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now

on Twitter, @NightlyShow,using the hashtag, #Tonightly.

Okay. Now, for months now,Donald Trump's been saying

some crazy, racist things,like banning all Muslims,

building the wall, Mexicanborder, blah, blah, blah,

racist, racist, racist.

And yesterday, Ted Cruz jumpedon that racist crazy train

and angered a lot of people

by releasing a statementthat said, you know...

WILMORE (reading):

-Jesus. -Right?-(booing)

Okay, so my question is,

who is bat(bleep) crazier?

Who's the scarier choicefor America, Cruz or Trump?

I think they're both scary.

I think you have onethat's a closet racist,

and then you have onethat's just out...

-Out of the closet?-(laughter, whistling, applause)

Paint it on, paint it on.

WILMORE:Which one is the closeted one?

Well, I'm gonna gowith, uh, Cruz.

-Okay. -THEDE: Oh, see,I think they're both...

I think... I thinkthat Trump is scary

'cause he's a Kanye Tweetcome to life.

-And I think... that...-(laughter)

-But... -WILMORE:Kanye tweet come to life.

Yeah, come to life. ButI do think that Cruz is scarier,

'cause he uses...he's got the evangelicals,

he's a far-rightTea Party Republican

-who uses religion to justifyanti-gay, -WILMORE: Yeah. Yeah.

-(cheering) -anti-woman,anti-minority agendas.

-WILMORE: I agree. -YARD:I say... I say both of them are.

I say both... because withboth of them we go backwards.

And Trump I can understandwanting to go back,

-because that time was goodfor him. -Yes. -Mm-hmm.

But I don't knowif Ted Cruz knows,

back in the day was not goodfor people named Cruz.

(laughter)

-Unless you're Tom Cruise.I'm just s... -Right. Right.

I agree. Cruz to meis just more dangerous.

I don't... Trump isjust a fool to me, you know?

-HAMILTON: But he doesn't hide.-YARD: Don't underestimate.

-THEDE: Right.-You know what his agenda is,

-and he let's it be known.-You're talking about Trump?

-Yes, Trump.-But do you think he'll actu...

Who do you think willmost likely carry through

with their promises?

Like, do you think Trump'sreally gonna build a wall?

-You think Trump's gonna builda wall? -I think both of them.

I think he's gonna try.Let me tell you something.

I'm not in the businessof fighting people

when they're tryingto tell me who they are.

If you're gonna tell meyou're gonna build a wall,

I believe you--till you don't build a wall.

But I'm gonna believe you.

-I think he's gonna try.-Yeah.

-I really think he's gonna try.-And I don't, I don't.

-Okay. -I think thatpeople say... Obama said

he was gonna close Guantanamo.

People say a lot of thingsthey're not gonna do.

-It's not like he didn't try.They didn't let him. -Right.

But I do thinkthat Ted Cruz has proven

that he will takeactionable steps.

-WILMORE: Right. -People forget,Ted Cruz is famous

because he filibustered againstthe Affordable Care Act.

-He wanted to defund it in 2013,-Absolutely right.

and read Green Eggs and Ham on the floor of the senate.

I mean, this dude is serious,and he will not stop

-until he pushes a superconservative... -WILMORE: Right.

I will not fundPlanned Parenthood, Sam-I-Am,

-I will not fund it.-Exactly. That, either.

-They're both dangerous.-Yeah. -Yeah.

That's why I'm glad neither oneof them are gonna win anyway.

(laughter, whooping, applause)

YARD: They're funto talk about, though.

Do you think there can bean honest criticism of Ted Cruz

with Trump takingall the oxygen out of it?

Well, Trump is really loud,so whatever they're saying

about Cruz anyway,you'll never hear it.

-He'll never give you...-THEDE: Right.

I feel like it'sa sneaky bait-and-switch.

You know what? I agree with you.

It feels likethe Republican establishment

is getting behind Cruz,

almost like they plannedthis (bleep) all along.

-THEDE: Right.-YARD: You know what's funny?

I said on this show, I saidthat Trump was sent by Hillary

-to disrupt the RepublicanParty. -That's so funny.

That was my thought processat first.

-Yeah, that was yourconspiracy theory. -At first.

But now I'm like,mm, I don't know,

-they're inching Cruz out...-It could be the Kanye...

-Swift thing, too, you know?-WILMORE: Mm-hmm.

-THEDE: Right.-Could be working together.

-THEDE: Oh...-Right. -Yeah.

Wait, wait, are you telling me

as a music insiderthat Kanye and Taylor Swift

-planned that whole momentat the... -Well, I'm not...

-No, no, no! You don't walk itback now! -totally, actually...

-saying it.-(cheering, applause, whooping)

-I'm just saying...-Are you serious?

Well, I... I mean,I'm just saying.

-(laughter) -Speculating.-You heard it here, folks.

They're allon the same label, right?

-Aren't they on the same label?-THEDE: Oh. Ooh, I love it.

YARD:There's dirty music in the...

We're being playedby both the Republicans

-and Kanye and Taylor Swift?-Yeah!

-Oh, my God.-It's a huge conspiracy, Larry.

THEDE:I get what you're saying.

-Cruz and Trump are on thesame label. Right? -YARD: Aha!

-They're just bringing all thedrama. -If you think about it...

-WILMORE: Go ahead, go ahead.-The reason why...

-You mentioned that today,and I had never -Which one?

thought that before, thatmaybe it's a bait-and-switch.

And the reason why I thinkit's not impossible

-Mm-hmm. -is because Cruz istalking about all this (bleep)

-the Republicans have beenpushing for years. -Right.

But they know if hejust came straight forward,

nobody would vote for him,so you throw extra crazy

-at the world, right?-Right, because...

and then little crazy seemsa little bit safer.

-Yeah. -Yeah. -Right?So people are gonna be like,

"I'm not gonna (bleep) for him,

but what aboutthis little nut case?"

-Now he doesn't look so crazy.-Yeah, exactly.

-I think you're onto something.-Yeah. -Yeah.

WILMORE:Well, because nobody likes Cruz.

I mean, it was Lindsey Grahamwho said the choice

between Trump or Cruz is likebeing shot or being poisoned.

-(laughter)-Oh, wow. -Poisoned!

I mean, even Ted Cruz's daughterwas like... (groaning)

Yeah! Dude ain't got no emotionon his face, man. It's weird.

Yeah. I-I do think thatthey honestly do hate Trump

at this point,the Republican establishment.

I really do.I think they really regret...

HAMILTON:Trump hates Trump.

-Yeah. You think he hateshimself? -Trump loves Trump!

-I think so, deep down inside...-Really?

But he's too deep in nowto go back.

-(laughter) -I'm with you.I think he needs a hug.

WILMORE: You think self-hate'sfueling all of that?

It could be, man. I've seen itin the hood all the time.

-Oh. -That's true.That's a good point.

-The angriest dude-That's a good point.

-be the saddest dude.-All you have to worry about

with Trump is that he'sgonna negotiate a good price

for the White House and sell it,'cause he will sell anything.

-(laughter, groaning)-WILMORE: That's true.

All right, we'll be right back.

-♪ -(cheering, applause, whistling)

YARD: If you live in New York City or are planning to visit,

grab tickets to The Nightly Show.

Thanks to my panel--it's Mike Yard,

Robin Thedeand Anthony Hamilton.

Special thanksto Nemr Abou Nassar.

We're almost out of time,but before we go,

I'm gonna Keep It 100for you guys, all right?

Tonight's question's froman audience member named Brady.

All right, Brady, give it to me.

If we could elect Obamafor one more term,

but then had no choice overwho became the next president,

would you do it?Keep It 100.

-Ooh...-(audience ooh'ing)

If it looks like it's gonna beTrump or Cruz for sure,

absolutely, that's a no-brainer!

-What? How?-Absolutely.

Obama for another term?

-To keep out Trump or Cruz?-Yeah, but then anybody?

You can give me tea--I don't care

-what you give me for that one.-You kept it 100

-but I don't like it.-Thanks for watching.

Don't forgetyour Keep It 100 questions.

-Yeah, I don't like it.-I don't care, I don't care.

Good Nightly, everyone.

You can have it, too.