Thursday, March 27, 2014

  • 03/27/2014

Megan Neuringer, Ben Kronberg and Greg Proops come up with #BadBooze, watch sports fans dance on the jumbotron and list unappealing Airbnb listings.

>> IT'S 11:59 AND 59 SECONDS.

IT THAT HAPPENED ON YOUTUBETODAY.

FORMER CHILD STAR AND ONLYLIVING COREY, COREY FELDMAN,

OFFICIALLY RELEASED A NEW VIDEO.

NOT A DIRECT VIDEO, VIDEO, BUT AMUSIC VIDEO FROM HIS UPCOMING

ALBUM "ANGELIC TO THE CORE."

THE VIDEO FEATURES THIS AWKWARDOPENING "I LOVE LUCY" SKETCH TO

KEEP IT CURRENT, AND COREYBUSTING MOVES. I'M NOT 100%

SURE WHAT'S GOING ON.

WE'RE NOT SENSING ANY IRONYWHATSOEVER IN THIS VIDEO.

CORY FELDMAN WAS IN GREMLINS.

REMEMBER WE LOVED HIM INGREMLINS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

REMEMBER?

AND THEN, THEY FED HIMAFTER MIDNIGHT AND THEN THIS

HAPPENED.

THIS SONG IS CALLED "DUH" WHICHAPPARENTLY WE ARE TOLD STANDS

FOR DONE UNDER HALO, WHICH HAS AMEANING WE HAVE NOT YET ARRIVED

UPON.

IT'S LOCKED IN COREY'S HEAD.

WON'T YOU TELL US YOUR SECRETS,COREY FELDMAN!

AND THEN TAKE US TO SEE A BODYIN THE WOODS.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

GUYS, THIS IS THE NAME OF THESONG.

WE WOULD LOOK YOU TO COME UPWITH A BETTER ACRONYM TITLE.

MEGAN NEURINGER GO.

>> YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEWHOLE SONG AND REALLY HEAR HIS

VOICE, BUT IT'S ISHCMTBS, WHICHMEANS I SHOULD HAVE CLEARED MY

THROAT BEFORE SINGING.

>> ABSOLUTE, IF YOU LISTEN TOTHE SONG THAT WILL MAKE MORE

SENSE.

BEN KRONBERG.

>> I LIKE THE WORD DUH, BUT IDOESN'T UNDERSTAND HALOS.

HALOS.

( APPLAUSE )>> HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HALOS.

GREG PROOPS.

>> I WENT GERMAN ON THIS ONE ANDSAID

( SPEAKING GERMAN )

#HASHTAGWARS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AS I MENTIONED, THE PHILADELPHIA

BREWERY IS MAKING BEER USINGGOAT BRAINS IN HONOR OF THE

WALKING DEAD BECAUSE YOU KNOWWALKING DEAD HAS ALL THE GOAT

BRAINS ON IT.

WITH THAT IN MIND, TONIGHT'S IS#BADBOOZE.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE LOWERMANHATTANS OR SLIPPERY

SUPERFLUOUS NIPPLES, OR MILLERVIETNAM DRAFT.

I'LL PUT 60 SECONDS ON. GO.

>> HIV-POSITIVE BLOODY MARYS.

( APPLAUSE )>> THE CROWD IS SUPPORTING IT.

I WILL GIVE IT POINTS.

BEN.

>> MINT JEW-LIPS.

>> GREG PROOPS, CAN YOU PLEASECOMPLETE THE TRIFECTA.

>> SURE PABST SMEAR.

>> WELL DONE.

A DELICIOUS CHERRY ON TOP FORPOINTS.

MEGAN NEURINGER.

>> THIS IS GOING TO REALLYDIVIDE PEOPLE, BUT SHIRLEY

TEMPLE GRAVE JUICE.

>> HEY, HEY, HEY!

YOU DIDN'T KNOW HER!

BEN.

>> SCHLONG ISLAND ICED TEA.

>> I SEE YOUR SCHLONG ISLANDICED TEA.

AND I'LL SAY PINAL COLONIC.

>> POINTS.

♪ HIV BLOODY MARY ♪.

>> ARE YOU SINGING THE SONG WITHALL THE SUBMISSIONS FROM THE

GAME?

>> THAT IS THE IDEA.

JUMBOTRON DANCE-OFF.

CROWDS ARE SUPER JUMBO FIRED UPFOR MARCH MADNESS.

I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU A SHORTCLIP OF A FAN DANCING AND YOUR

JOB IS TO NAME THAT DANCE.

WE HAVE AN IMPROMPTU DANCE-OFFBETWEEN A YOUNG PISTONS FAN AND

AN USHER.

( APPLAUSE )HOW DID IT END?

MEGAN NEURINGER.

>> THAT TIME WE BRIEFLY FORGOTTHAT WE LIVED IN DETROIT.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

>> DAMN!

POINTS!

WHEN YOU PLAY BON JOVI ON THEEAST COAST YOU KNOW IT'S GOING

TO BE A WINNER, SO CHECK THISKID OUT

♪ WE GOTTA HOLD ON TO WHAT WEGOT ♪

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> MEGAN NEURINGER.

>> THE LIVING ON A PRAYER THAT IWILL ONE DAY HAVE SEX.

>> WELL, IF YOU LOOK REALLYCLOSELY HE'S ABOUT TO ( BLEEP )

THAT POLE RIGHT THERE.

>> THAT'S NOT CONSENSUAL.

>> IT'S NOT CONSENSUAL.

>> IT DOESN'T COUNT!

>> OH, MY GOD!

NEXT.

>> HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BELLYDANCE ACTION, GUYS?

HERE'S A LITTLE BELLY DANCE.

>> THE UN-( BLEEP )-ABLE WHITEGUY?

>> I'M GIVE YOU POINTS BUT I BEGTO DIFFER, THERE ARE PLENTY OF

PLACES TO STICK IT IN THERE.

ALL RIGHT, THAT IS THE END OFJUMBOTRON DANCE-OFF.

I KNOW, I'M SAD TO SEE IT GO.

MAN, THIS SHOW NEEDS A JUMBOTRONPEOPLE CAN BE LIKE,

#HASHTAGWARS.

I THINK I THREW MY DICK OUTYOU SHOULD RECYCLE.

100 POINTS.

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ISTHERE A VERY SMALL DOCTOR IN THE

HOUSE?

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

EVENT OR INVENTED?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE NAMES

OF TWO EVENTS AND YOU HAVE TOGUESS WHICH ONE IS THE ACTUAL

EVENT WE FOUND ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

THE FIRST IS JEWLICIOUSFESTIVAL, OR OY GAY, FOR OUT

JEWISH MEN.

>> I'M GOING TO SAY OY, GAY,EXCLAMATION POINT.

>> THE CORRECT ANSWER ISJEWELLISHISH FESTIVAL.

>> WHAT HAPPENS?

>> IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT THEFESTIVAL IS, IT'S

SOMETHING THAT USES WAY TOO MANYHASHTAGS.

>> I MUST HAVE FORGOT TO BLOWOUT MY MENORAH BECAUSE WHEN I

WOKE UP I WAS COVERED INBEYOTCHES.

WHAT CIRCUMCISES THAT FONT?

>> 100 POINTS TO GREG AND 100POINTS TO BEN.

WELL, ON THAT NOTE, THE NEXT ONEIS EITHER HOW TO GIVE A

WORLD-CLASS B.J.

OR FIVE-FINGER DISCOUNT, THE ARTOF TANTRIC MASTURBATION.

BEN KRONBERG.

>> THAT ONE?

>> YOU THINK IT'S TANTRICMASTURBATION.

LET'S FIND OUT.

HOW TO GIVE A WORLD-CLASS B.J.

>> YUCK, YUCK.

>> ON BEHALF OF GUYS, LADIES,THIS DOES NOT EQUAL WORLD CLASS.

>> WHAT IS THAT?

>> HOW DO THEY KNOW IT'S WORLDCLASS AND NOT JUST LIKE, YOU

KNOW, ARGENTINA GOOD?

CRASH AT MY PLACE.

YOU CAN TURN ANY APARTMENT INTOAN ILLEGAL HOTEL ROOM.

DON'T BELIEVE ME?

HERE'S A REAL LISTING.

>> WHOA!

THAT'S MAYBE NOT A ROOM YOU WANTTO SEE UNDER A BLACK LIGHT.

>> OR THAT'S ALL YOU WANT TOSEE IT UNDER

A CONNOISSEUR.

>> I WANT YOU TO GIVE MELISTINGS THAT NO SANE PERSON

WOULD RESPOND TO.

I'LL PUT 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK.

>> FRESH SHEETS AND ( BLEEP ).

>> POINTS!

BEN.

>> D & D, B & B.

>> NOT A HOSTEL.

JUST FULL OF RANDOMSCANDINAVIANS.

>> POINTS!

MEGAN.

>> THIS BED WILL CRIPPLE YOU.

>> POINTS.

GREG PROOPS.

>> CRACK HOUSE ADJACENT.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

>> POINTS FOR GREG PROOPS.

BEN KRONBERG.

>> PRIVATE ROOM WITH TV THATONLY HAS STATIC AND NEVER SHUTS

OFF.

>> YEAH.

YEAH, POINTS.

MEGAN.

>> IT'S NOT A HALFWAY HOUSE.

IT'S A HALF WE HOME.

>> POINTS.

PROOPS.

>> FORMER PALACE OF THE KING OFTHE PIG PEOPLE.

>> POINTS!

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