Brannigan, Begin Again

  • 11/28/1999

Stripped of his title, space captain Zapp Brannigan begs for a job at Planet Express.

HEY, BENDER?

YEAH?

( laughing )

WHOA!

ALL RIGHT...

THIS IS THE THIRD HOSE FIGHTI'VE BROKEN UP TODAY

AND THE SECOND ONEUSING ACTUAL HOSES.

NOW, MOVE YOURLAZY ASSES

AND START SCRUBBING THE SHIP

LIKE I ORDERED YOU TO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GETSO MAD, LEILA.

YEAH, FRY ALREADY WIPED OFF

SOME OF THE DIRTWITH HIS FINGER.

( chucing )

( doorbell ringing )

ZAPP?

LEILA, I DIDN'T KNOWWHERE ELSE TO TURN.

YOU'RE THE ONLY WOMANWHO EVER LOVED ME.

I NEVER LOVED YOU.

I MEAN PHYSICALLY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

JUST LET ME WORKFOR A LITTLE FOOD.

PERHAPS I COULD PAINT A FENCE

OR SERVICE YOU SEXUALLYOR MOP THE FLOORS.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DOANY OF THOSE THINGS.

KIF MIGHT.

LEILA, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

JUST A BROKEN-DOWN HOBOWHO'S HIT ROCK BOTTOM

AND HIS COMMANDING OFFICER.

WHY, YOU'RE THATDISGRACED STARSHIP CAPTAIN.

HAVING HIM ON STAFFWOULD DISTRACT PEOPLE

FROM OUR HORRENDOUSSAFETY RECORD.

COME IN!

I'D LIKE EVERYONE TO MEETOUR NEW EMPLOYEES.

UH... WHICH ONES ARE NEW?

THE GREEN DUDE

AND THE FAT MAN.

HMM, I COULD SWEARI'VE NEVER SEEN

THAT ROBOTBEFORE, EITHER.

I'M BENDER.

YOU KNOW, THE LOVABLE RASCAL.

OH, YES, YES,MY GOOD FRIEND, OF COURSE.

ANYWAY...

WHOEVER YOU ALL ARE

I HAVE GOOD NEWS.

YOU'LL BE MAKING A DELIVERYTO STUMBOS 4

A PLANET WITH SUCH HIGH GRAVITY,YOU'LL MOST LIKELY BE CRUSHED

UNDER THE WEIGHTOF YOUR OWN HAIR.

ENJOY!

LEELA, YOU MAY BEA FORMIDABLE

DOER OF THE NASTY

BUT I AM FORCEDTO RELIEVE YOU OF YOUR POST.

ON WHAT GROUNDS,YOU SLOBBERING OAF?

FAILURE TO PREVENT A MUTINY.

THROW HER IN THE BRIG.

WE DON'T HAVE A BRIG.

THEN THROW HERIN THE LAUNDRY ROOM

WHICH WILL HEREAFTERBE REFERRED TO AS THE BRIG.

YOU REALLY DON'T WANT METO BE CAPTAIN ANYMORE?

YOU GOT IT, GENIUS.

BUT DIDN'T I DO A GOOD JOB?

YOU WERE MEAN,AND YOU YELLED

AND YOU MADE US DOALL THAT WORK.

SOMETIMES, A CAPTAIN NEEDSTO DO THOSE THINGS.

BESIDES, I THOUGHTWE WERE FRIENDS.

YEAH, WELL

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEENSUCH A MEAN CAPTAIN, THEN.

DON'T WORRY, LEELA.

SOON, WE'LL BEABLE TO LOOK BACKON THIS AND LAUGH.

( cruel laughing )

BACK IN MY OLD UNIFORM.

AND IT NEARLY STILL FITS

EVEN AFTER ALL THATFATTENING HOBO CUISINE.

WHAT SHALL I DO WITHYOUR CIVILIAN CLOTHES, SIR?

TAKE THEM TOTHE LAUNDRY BRIG.

SO, DO I HAVEYOUR LOYALTY, MEN?

TO THE ENDSOF THE UNIVERSE.

TEN HUNDRED PERCENT.

THAT'S NOT NEARLY LOYAL ENOUGH.

I ORDER YOU TO SIT AROUNDAND DRINK BEER

UNTIL YOU'RE AS LOYALAS KIF, HERE.

YES, SIR, SIR.

UM, MAY I HAVEA BEER, SIR?

NO, YOU'RE LOYALENOUGH ALREADY.

MEANWHILE, I HAVE A PLAN.

WE WILL SINGLE-HANDEDLY ATTACK

OUR ARCHENEMY,THE NEUTRAL PLANET.

OH, GEEZ.

ONCE THE NEUTRALWAR MACHINE LIES IN RUINS

I'LL BE A HERO AGAIN

AND THE DOOP WILLREINSTATE ME AS CAPTAIN.

BUT SIR, THAT PLANMAKES NO SENSE.

MAYBE NOT TO YOU, KIF.

BUT IF I RECALL CORRECTLY

YOU WERE COURT-MARTIALEDIN DISGRACE.

OOH, BURN!

NAILED YOU, BUDDY.

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