Wednesday, February 12, 2014

  • Season 1, Ep 01023
  • 02/12/2014

Matt Braunger, Aparna Nancherla and Ron Funches create cold weather band names, look for valentines on OkCupid and try to name an @midnight fan's new baby.

>> Chris: RIPPED FROM TODAY'SINTERNET HEADLINES, IT'S "RAPID

REFRESH."

>> Chris: THE OLYMPICS'FIERCEST COMPETITION SO FAR IS

WHO CAN TURN OUT THE BESTOLYMPICS MEMES AND GIFS.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MEMES ANDGIFS FROM REDDIT AND IMGUR GOT

THE MOST UPVOTES?

A. SHAUN WHITE AS FLAPPY BIRDB. PUTIN RIDING THIS CUDDLY

OLYMPIC MASCOT IN A VERYSTRAIGHT MANNER.

[LAUGHTER]IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE PART OF HIS

BODY LIKE HE IS A SEN TAWR.

AN OLYMPIC FARTAUR.

C. THIS IS WHY HOTH WAS DENIEDITS WINTER OLYMPICS BID.

THE ULTIMATE TRANSPORTS.

WHICH ONE GOT THE MOST?

APARNA?

>> I'M GOING TO GO WITH B, PUTINAND THE BARE-TAR.

I USED TO PLAY THE BEAR-TAR.

>> SO SORRY, THE CORRECT ANSWERIS C.

BUT BLOWING [BLEEP] UP.

>> AND KILLING A MAN.

THAT'S PRETTY HARSH.

>> THAT'S ACTUAL FOOTAGE, RIGHT?

LIKE HE MURDERED HIM WITH AN --IT WAS REALLY.

>> Chris: THAT WOULD BE FROMEMPIRE STRIKES BACK.

I WOULD SAY PUTIN IS VERY MUCHLIKE THE EMPEROR AT THIS POINT.

>> "TAKE YOUR PLACE AT MYRUSSIAN SIDE!"

>> Chris: EVERY TIME YOU SEEHIM, YOU THINK HE IS GOING TO

START SHOOTING LIGHTNING OUT OFHIS HANDS.

>> I'M SEEING THE EMPEROR FROMSTRIKES BACK WITHOUT HIS SHIRT

ON.

WHERE IS YOUR SHIRT?

GET YOUR OWN.

>> HE STARTS WITH HIS NIPPLESAND MAKING A MOVE THERE WITH THE

ELECTRICITY, AND CHOKING HIMSELFWHILE HE [BLEEP]

[LAUGHTER]>> Chris: THE EAST COAST IS

ABOUT TO GET POUNDED WITH MORESNOW AS YOU CAN SEE.

BY THE WAY, AMERICA NEEDS TOWAX!

OR JUST TAKE IT ALL OFF AND GOGREAT PLAINS.

>> NO, YOU DO "YOU" AMERICA.

>> SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED ALL OVERTHE EAST COAST.

HOW DID THE PRINCIPAL AT THEELEMENTARY SCHOOL BREAK THE NEWS

TO HIS STUDENTS?

A. SENDING A MASS TEXT SAYING'NO SCHOOL. LATER, LOSERS.'.

B. RAPPING TO VANILLA ICE'S 'ICEICE BABY'

C. SENDING A SELFIE ON A BEACHVACATION.

LET'S SEE THE ANSWER.

>> RON.

>> B?

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

>> ♪ ICE, ICE, BABY -- WE'RECLOTHE ♪

♪ >>

>> Chris: AND NOW IT'S TIME FORTONIGHT'S #Hashtagwars.

WE JUST SHOWED YOU FOOTAGE OF ANELEMENTARY SCHOOL PRINCIPAL

INFORMING HIS STUDENTS THATSCHOOL IS CLOSED BY RAPPING TO

"ICE ICE BABY," WHICH GAVE USTHE IDEA FOR TONIGHT'S HASHTAG:

#FROZENBANDS.

EXAMPLES:"CHILLY VANILI."

"NEGATIVE 98 DEGREES."

"MIAMI SNOCONE MACHINE."

I'M PUTTING 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK.

BRAUNGER.

>> SNOW-ASIS!

SNRON.

>> QUEENS OF THE ICE AGE.

Chris: POINTS.

APARNA?

>> AC/AC.

Chris: RON?

>> FROZEN TO DEATH LEOPARD.

Chris: POINTS.

APARNA.

>> DEPECH AAÀ LA MODE.

Chris: POINTS.

>> FREE Z TOP.

>> YES.

>> ICP, THAT'S ICE CREAM POSSE?

Chris: APARNA?

>> RADIO WALLET DISNEY'S HEAD.

>> OH, BECAUSE IT'S FROZEN.

OH, MY GOODNESS, POINTS.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY OKCREEPY.

VALENTINE'S DAY IS ON FRIDAY.

AND IF YOU'RE SINGLE, YOU'REPROBABLY ON OKCUPID RIGHT NOW.

BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF WEIRDOSOUT THERE.

WHO EAGERLY WANT TO PUT THINGSIN YOU.

WE'RE GOING TO SHOW YOU ANEXCERPT FROM A UNIQUE OKCUPID

PROFILE AND, FOR 250 POINTS, YOUFINISH THE SENTENCE.

HERE IS THE FIRST ONE.

I LOVE TO COLLECT BLANK?

>> APARNA.

>> MY THOUGHTS SO JUST GIVE ME ASECOND.

>>>> I WILL GIVE YOU POINTS.

LET'S FIND OUT WHAT HE LIKES TOCOLLECT.

A: ANGEL STUFF AND LIZARD FOBSAND BOOKS Etc.

I THINK HE MEANS ETC. OR HEMEANS ECTO PLATFORM.

>> NEXT ONE?

Chris: I'M REALLY GOOD AT . .

.

>> SEX, FOREPLAY AND GENTLESTROKING?

I'M GREAT AT MAKING BLANK.

RON?

>> I'M GREAT AT MAKING RONFUNCHES QUESTION HIS SEXUALITY?

Chris: LET'S FIND OUT WHAT HEIS REALLY GREAT AT?

HE IS GREAT AT "MY OWN JELLYBEANS."

>> RON, IT'S WAY MORE NOW.

>> IF I COULD JUST GET AMATCHING SHIRT, WE'RE ON BOARD!

THE SIX THINGS I COULD NEVER DOWITHOUT --

1)WAXING2)SEX

3)DANCING AND --RON?

[LAUGHTER]>> Chris: YOU'RE SO DELIGHTED BY

THE GAME AND WACHTING YOUDELIGHT MAKES ME DELIGHTED.

>> FOR ERYKAH BADU, AND 5,ANIME.

6, LOOSE WORK UNIFORM POLICIES.

>> Chris: I'LL GIVE YOU POINTSFOR THAT.

>> I WOULD SAY A GUN, TASER ANDBOARD GAME "SORRY."

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT WHATTHE 4, 5 AND SIX ARE.

4)ANAL BLEACHING5) CHIPOTLE

6) MORGAN FREEMAN.

LULU DEALBREAKERSLULU IS AN APP WHERE WOMEN CAN

FIND OUT WAY TOO MUCHINFORMATION ABOUT MEN FROM THEIR

EX-GIRLFRIENDS.

NGS IN ONLY THE MALE VOICES WERELIKE OH, [BLEEP], WHAT?

THAT'S A THING?

I'M GOING TO BE ACCOUNTABLE FORALL OF THE STUPID CRAP I DO?

>> I GOT A 9.5.

I'M COOL.

>> Chris: FROM THE GUY WHO MAKESJELLY BEANS?

EX-GIRLFRIENDS POST HASHTAGSDESCRIBING THE MEN THEY USED TO

DATE. SOME REAL HASHTAGS ARE.uú#OBSESSEDWITHHISMOM

NO, I'M NOT.

>> #SMOKESLIKEACHIMNEY

#OWNSCROCSCOMEDIANS, FOR 250 POINTS I WANT

YOU TO GIVE ME AS MANY LULUDEALBREAKER HASHTAGS AS YOU CAN.

I'M PUTTING 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK, STARTING NOW.

>> IRONMAN SCROTUM TATTOO?

Chris: POINTS.

>> CAROL TEETHING.

hris: POINTS.

RON?

>> ACTUALLY THINKS ARBY'S.

Chris: POINTS.

RON?

>> ENJOYS TYLER PERRY MOVIES.

Chris: IS THAT YOURS?

>> YES.

Chris: YES, POINTS.

APARNA?

>> IMAGINARY.

[LAUGHTER]>> Chris: POINTS.

RON?

>> CAN'T READ.

>> YOU NEVER KNOW ON THE ADS.

Chris: POINTS.

>> WILL CALL YOU MOM.

Chris: POINTS.

>> BODY SPRAY USER.

Chris: POINTS.

[BUZZER]>> APARNA?

>> CRIES ALL THE TIME, LIKEPROBABLY RIGHT NOW.

>> Chris: POINTS.

WELL DONE!

Loading...