CC Presents: Hard 'N Phirm

  • Season 12, Ep 5
  • 01/11/2008

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

[CHUCKLES] THANKS.THANK YOU.

HI, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.AH, WE ARE "HARD 'N PHIRM."

- YEAH!- THAT'S RIGHT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THAT IS CHRIS "HARD" WICK.I'M MIKE "PHIRM" MAN.

IT'S JUST OUR NAMES.ANYTHING ELSEYOU BROUGHT TO THAT,

- IT'S YOUR OWN FILTH.- ABSOLUTELY.

THIS FIRST SONGIS ABOUT SUCCESS.

WE HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.READY?

READY.COUNT IT OFF!

ONE, TWO--ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...

- [SLOW SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]- [LAUGHTER]

♪ YOU ARE A MOUNTAINWITH GOLD IN THE STREAMS ♪

♪ YOUR TREES ARE STRONGFOR THEY ARE ROOTED-- ♪

LOOK AT ME--♪ DREAMS

♪ YOUR SOUL'S TAPESTRY-- DON'T TOUCH ME--

♪ SHIMMERS UNFOLD

♪ FOR YOU ARE A DIAMONDON THE RING OF THE WORLD ♪

♪ SO LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGHAND SAY ♪

♪ 'NOTHING'S STOPPING METODAY' ♪

♪ YOU'LL BREAK THROUGH THE DOUBTTHAT STOOD IN YOUR WAY ♪

- SLEEP.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

♪ YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

♪ IF YOU BELIEVEYOU BELIEVE ♪

♪ LIKE THE FIRE INSIDE OF YOU,OOH-OHH ♪

♪ AND YOU WILL ACHIEVE

♪ YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

YOU CAN. IT'S TRUE.

IF YOU JUST BELIEVE.

♪ FEAR IS ALIV-- HEY, WHAT'S UP?

♪ YOUR HEART IS THE KEY

♪ SUCCESS IS THE DOORAND ADMISSION IS FREE ♪

♪ BELIEVE IN YOURSELFLET A NEW DAY BEGIN ♪

♪ WITH YOU ON YOUR SIDEYOU KNOW YOU'LL ALWAYS WIN ♪

THANKS, BRO.

♪ LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGHAND SAY ♪

♪ "I'M BOUND FOR GREATNESSCOME WHAT MAY ♪

♪ I'M HERE TO STAY"

YOU'RE AMAZING.EVERYTHING YOU DO IS MAGIC.

YOUR DESTINY'SRIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

PET IT.

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.YOU CAN SPREAD YOUR WINGS.YOU CAN FLY TO THE MOON

IF YOU WANT TO,JUST LIKE BIRDS DO.

- SPACE BIRDS.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

♪ YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

♪ IF YOU BELIEVE

♪ MAKE A PLAN THAT SAYS,"I CAN" ♪

♪ AND YOU WILL ACHIEVE

♪ YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

♪ IF YOU BELIEVE

♪ YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

♪ UNLESS YOU'RE A GIRL ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S A GOOD CROWD.YEP.

WE SOMETIMES LOSE ABOUTHALF THE AUDIENCESOMEWHERE IN THAT SONG.

BUT--I'M WELL AWARE.

UM-- THE INSTRUMENTTHAT I CAST ONTO THE GROUND

LIKE A 19th CENTURY ORPHANIS ACTUALLY THE MELODICA.

THIS IS A VERYAWESOME INSTRUMENT.

THAT IS THE FINESTOF THE PLASTIC WINDS, PEOPLE.

[Chuckles] NO-- NO, IT ISKIND OF A WEENIE INSTRUMENTTHAT YOU CAN BUY FOR YOURSELF

FOR $8 ON eBAY.BUT WITH THE MELODICA,I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE INSTRUMENTSTHEY WOULD HAVE TRIED TO MAKE

REALLY, LIKE,BAD ASS AND COOL IN THE '70s,

YOU KNOW, LIKE, AFTERJETHRO TULL ROCKED THE FLUTE,

SOMEONE'S LIKE, "SCREW IT,I'M DOIN' THE MELODICA."

AND THEN YOU'D SEE IT ON THECOVER OF AN ALBUM, YOU KNOW,

LIKE WITH A STEEL SKELETON HANDHOLDING A MELODICA

BURSTING THROUGH A VOLCANO.DOING LIKE MAGMA POURINGAND MELTING ON THE KEYS.

[Strained Voice]"THIS NEXT SONG IS CALLED'THE DEVIL'S WHISPER'."

- ♪ - [LAUGHTER]

- BUT ANYWAY...- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SO I DON'T KNOWIF YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITHTHE ENTITY KNOWN AS

"HARD 'N PHIRM"BUT WE-- MOST OF OUR SONGSACTUALLY ARE PRETTY, LIKE,

NERDY MATH/SCIENCE ORIENTED.

LIKE ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SONGSTHAT WE HAVE IS ACTUALLY A SONG

ABOUT THE NUMERICAL VALUEOF PI, LADIES.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND WE WROTE IT 'CAUSE ITTURNS OUT WE ACTUALLY KNOW,LIKE, 180 DIGITS OF PI.

[MUSIC STARTS]

♪ 3 POINT 1-4-1-5-9-26-5-3-5-8-9-7 ♪

♪ 9-3-2-3-8-4-6-2-6

♪ 4-3-3-8-3-2-7-9

♪ 5-0-2-8-8-4-1-97-1-6-9-3-9-9 ♪

♪ 3-7-5-1-0-5-8-2-0-97-4-9-4-4-5-9 ♪

♪ 2-3-0-7-8-16-4-0-6-2-8-- ♪

COME ON, EVERYBODY.♪ 9-9-8-6-2-8

♪ 0-3-4-8-2-5-3-4-2

♪ 1-1-7-0-6-7-9-8

♪ 2-1-4-8-0-8-6-5-1

♪ 3-2-8-2-3-0-6-6-4-7-0-9-38-4-6-0-- ♪

YOU KNOW WHAT? CUT THAT OFF.THAT'S A REALLY LONG SONG.

YEAH, IT GOES--IT'S REALLY LONG.YEAH, IT'S REALLY LONG.

YEAH, YEAH.THAT IS A REALLY LONG SONG.

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